ma'am i want to be quiet

The mother who was over [-] years old was lying on the hospital bed, holding her daughter who had been silent for a long time and crying to death.At this moment, she realized that she had become a loner, and at the last moment, she realized that she owed her eldest daughter too much.Doctors and nurses stood around, their eyes full of pity, but more distressed eyes were placed on the lifeless woman in the hospital bed, and no one stepped forward to comfort the crying person.This is what she deserves. As a mother, how can she be so eccentric and careless.

No matter how distressed others are, Shu Min doesn't know that her mother regrets so much.Her whole soul was freed from the shackles of her body, and her whole body was free of pain, suffering from illness, and even less of the uncontrollable desolation and helplessness.Shu Min felt that she was very relaxed, a comfort she had never felt before.The body is too relaxed, Shu Min feels that the whole person is not under her control, and floats away all the way, yes, floats away.

Shu Min didn't know if there were the so-called Hell, Black and White Impermanence, and Huangquan Road. She didn't know if the end of such a road was the so-called Hell.Without the messenger of hell, without the little ghost to clear the way, Shu Min wondered if she was really dead, or if it was just a dream of her own.However, for Shu Min, death is the best destination.In the previous body, sleeping was a luxury, breathing was a difficult struggle, and living was only a last resort.

The gentle wind took Shu Min away, and the surroundings were all dark, endless black, without any light.Involuntary, unable to feel anything in the pitch black, Shu Min felt that her fluttering was her own fantasy.This kind of no time, no destination, no sense of time passing, no awareness of environmental changes, absolute darkness and silence, after the initial relaxation, Shu Min became boring.But when Shu Min thought about this kind of boring and lonely life, she became happy.

Shu Min's short life was not entirely a tragedy. She was born in a well-to-do family, her parents were workers, and she and her sister had two children.Parents don't have the so-called patriarchy. She and her sister are also considered happy. The family is not rich and powerful, but their hardworking parents let them have no worries about food and clothing. The harmonious family is full of laughter and laughter.The turning point happened when Shu Min graduated from junior high school. Her father, who was the breadwinner of the family, injured his hand due to an operation error and was laid off.The burden of life was all on the weak body of the mother, the life of the family became difficult, and there were more and more quarrels and conflicts in the family.

Misfortunes never come singly. When Shu Min was a freshman, his father, who was already in poor health, was diagnosed with liver cancer.Huge medical bills and household expenses knocked down already struggling families.My mother was soon fired because she ran around the hospital and factory.As a last resort, Shu Min dropped out of school and started working to support her family.

Maybe it was God who didn't like them. A year later, my sister was also diagnosed with liver cancer.The huge ordeal made the mother who stayed in the hospital bed all the year round become irritable and mean.After Shu Min refused to donate a liver for her younger sister, her mother sneered and scolded Shu Min's heart.But she ignored it, and worked three jobs a day, trying to earn medical expenses for her father and sister.At that time, she was so sleepy that she could fall asleep standing up, but her father and sister on the hospital bed were the motivation for her to persevere.

Not all efforts paid off. After six years of hard work, her father and sister still left, and Shu Min also collapsed without motivation.

It turned out that my father's liver cancer was a rare hereditary cancer.Not long after her sister was found out, Shu Min also found the same symptoms.However, at that time, the already stormy home was no longer allowed to fall down.As the sole source of income, Shu Min kept her illness a secret, and only relied on taking medicine to restrain herself, overdrawing her life without limit.

The mother who has always only paid attention to her husband and her youngest daughter did not pay attention to her eldest daughter's thinning body and pale complexion.She blamed her for not donating a liver to her sister cruelly, for being selfish, for being heartless, for being unfilial, for not having this family in her eyes.But she didn't think that it's not that her eldest daughter didn't want to save her sister, she couldn't save her sister, and she couldn't save herself either.

Now, after losing her husband and youngest daughter, watching the eldest daughter fall, the blaming mother realizes that the originally handsome daughter has withered face, her round face is skinny, and her bright eyes have turned to ashes.The disease in the family dragged down her daughter's body, the illness bent her body, and her cold eyes and harsh words took away her spirit. It turns out that I am the most indifferent person, and I am the most selfish and ruthless person.

The daughter bears the burden of the family at a young age and a small body. As a mother, she not only does not support and love her, but also scolds and indifferent to her.She didn't even know about such a big thing as her daughter's illness. It was such a failure.Now, everyone in the family is gone, and only I am left. There is no such thing as a home, and what is the meaning of life.

The lonely and helpless mother didn't know how to live, and neither did Shu Min.She doesn't know what life is like, she only knows that she must earn a lot of money, otherwise, the disease will speed up and take the lives of her father and sister.Shu Min has never blamed her mother, she knows the kind of helplessness that she can't hold when she stays in front of the hospital bed, watching the people she loves and relatives move away from her little by little, being taken away by the god of death.Her daily toil and illness may not compare to the pain of her mother watching her father watching her sister suffer from illness.She understands her mother, but she will not forgive her, and will not forgive her for not loving and blaming herself.

All the warmth of the previous life was wiped away by the weight of her burden and the torment of illness. She felt that her life was pale and miserable, and she would rather not live.She doesn't want to think about things that are too sad, and she doesn't want to care about how her mother will live after she leaves. She is powerless and can't care anymore, can she?

Yes, nothing can be done!Shu Min, who was in the dark and chaotic, was pulled by a strong force, and then she lost her mind.

When Shu Min woke up, she found herself lying in a dilapidated temple in rags.The whole body is dirty, the clothes are torn, and the hands and feet are dirty.With slender arms and legs, and slender hands and feet, Shu Min quickly understood the fact that she was a beggar, or a young and thin beggar.Due to the busy work schedule in her previous life, Shu Min didn't have time to read novels, and she didn't know about the so-called time travel.The fact she came to was that God looked at her so pitifully, and let the little beggar girl who might have starved to death or died of illness continue to live.

God finally treated me kindly once, and finally gave me a chance to live again.

Supporting the little beggar for a few days, with a weak body, he staggered towards the water tank in front of the temple, drank a few mouthfuls of water, and Shu Min, who finally had some strength, had a chance to see his own body clearly on the water surface of the water tank. face.

A dark and dirty face, the only outstanding feature of the pitifully thin face is the pair of dark eyes.No matter how difficult life is, it is still translucent and clear, unlike Shu Min's previous life, which has long since died.Shu Min lowered her head and looked at her whole body, her thin arms, legs and feet, she really looked like she would fall down when the wind blows!It seems that the real little beggar is doing very poorly, no one is looking for him when he faints, and there is no one around to look after him. If it weren't for her, he might really have died.

Really lacking the strength to go on, Shu Min took another sip of water, sat down, picked up the green grass around her and threw it into her mouth, suppressing her nausea and swallowing it, after repeating this many times Finally regained some strength.

Shu Min began to think about her current situation.The little beggar died, or maybe she died too, so this body is the one she shared with the little beggar.Little beggar, whether you can hear it or not, since I, Shu Min, came here, I, Shu Min, will be the master of this body in the future.

God gave such an opportunity, in this life, she must live a relaxed life.One person, one person chic, one person comfortable, one person carefree.Shu Min secretly decided in her heart that this time, she must live the life she wanted to live.Sing alone, dance alone, travel alone, and go to the end of life alone.Don't force yourself to live and work hard to live for the sake of cutting off the constant family affection and the responsibilities you can't let go of.

In order to have a new start for herself, Shu Min chose a new name for herself.Shu Fan, comfortable and comfortable, ordinary and happy, free and enjoyable.But, things will really be as Shu Min, no, will Shu Fan think?

Shu Fan embraces the idea that if you are poor, you can live alone, and live your small life wholeheartedly.However, what a beggar can do is to beg for food first, so as not to let himself go hungry.

Shu Min, who has been self-reliant for many years and is the pillar of the family, oh no, Shu Fan, can't afford to beg for it, even though she is only six years old in her current body.Sitting at the entrance of the alley, she looked at many of her fellow beggars, beggars, old and young, kowtowing, saying nice words, pretending to be pitiful, trying to please them.Shu Fan just watched quietly without doing anything.

"You little beggar, why are you sitting here stupidly? You are so stupid. Here, here you are, here are my sweet-scented osmanthus cake and candied haws. It's pitiful to see you so thin. Hurry up and don't starve. "Suddenly a little girl carved in pink and jade squatted down, her big eyes were smart and vivid, and her face was full of reproach and distress.

Feeling distressed, Shu Fan laughed at himself for this kind of eyes, how many years, how many years she has not seen such eyes.Since my father fell ill, there was only sighing in the family.After my sister got sick, my mother only made things difficult and blamed herself.It is a pity that such eyes and words never appear in Shu Fan's life again.

The author has something to say:

The author is a lazy cancer patient, welcome to update, welcome to catch bugs, your collection and support are my biggest motivation!This is my first attempt at ancient prose, and my writing skills are limited, please don't be particular about it, please forgive me!