mourning dove

It had just rained and the ground was a little wet.

These days when Yu Gu's fever subsided, he was always listless and lacking energy.

He still looks sick and his appetite is light.It's just that Yu Yuanzhen feeds him, and he eats.He didn't play any temper anymore, he was so lifeless that he didn't even bother to say a word.

Occasionally when the weather is fine, Yu Yuanzhen will take Yu Gu to the garden to bask in the sun, but Yu Gu doesn't like to see flowers, so he replaces them with mimosa.

Who knew that Yu Gu's complexion became even worse when he glanced at it, and the depression in his heart became even more serious.

After finally finding a good weather, Yu Yuanzhen asked Yu Gu in a gentle tone if he wanted to fly a kite.

Yu Gu shook his head, and asked why, but the other party just lazily said it was boring.

Nothing is interesting anymore.

Yu Yuanzhen looked at his appearance, and said softly: "I hope you can go out to drink and gamble like before, and do whatever you want."

Yu Gu said oh.

Yu Yuanzhen asked: "Do you think this is meaningless?"

Yu Gu said: "I dare not."

There will be silence.

Yu Yuanzhen suddenly smiled lowly, "Ah Gu, you seldom hurt me like that. You ignore me."

Yu Gu tilted his head, "So you are happy?"

His tone was erratic, and his pure black eyes were silent and empty.

Yu Yuanzhen shook his head, "I'm very sad."

A cold wind blew outside, and the light-colored sweater Yu Gu was wearing made his face pale and almost bloodless.

Yu Yuanzhen touched his soft cheek with her fingertips, normally the other party would frown and avoid it, but now there is no response.This made him feel the coldness at his fingertips even colder in his heart.

He withdrew his hand, looked down at such Yu Gu, "Let's go back."

The kitchen boiled preserved egg porridge, warming the stomach.

At the dinner table, Yu Yuanzhen was the only one talking, "You should be tired of drinking the porridge for a few days. We can go outside when you feel better in a few days..."

The huge space only responded to Yu Yuanzhen's voice, he paused, "Ah Gu, don't you want to talk?"

Yu Gu said, "I don't have the strength to speak anymore."

He also has no strength to live.

Yu Yuanzhen's eyes dimmed.

The medicine taken after a meal made people want to fall asleep, Yu Yuanzhen hugged him, and was supposed to coax him to sleep, but at this moment he asked in a low voice, "Do you hate me?"

Yu Gu looked up at him.

"...I'm sorry." Yu Yuanzhen looked at him tenderly, "I have never liked anyone. I have never loved anyone. I don't know how to like anyone. I only know that if I don't get it, it will be uncomfortable, so I must get it." I will feel uncomfortable if you have others in your eyes, then you can only have me in your eyes. I hope that all you have is me. When you only have me, I am happy...but only I am happy."

Yu Gu's voice trembled slightly, "Why did you say this all of a sudden?"

"Because you look so sad that you are about to die."

"...It turns out that you also care about this."

"I just think that as long as what I give you is fine, you don't have to care too much about what you want, as long as... I think it's fine."

Yu Yuanzhen's embrace was very warm, and he said, "I'm sorry."

I am sorry.

Yu Gu was stung by this sorry, he pushed away the warm embrace, held the fruit knife on the table in his palm, and pressed it against Yu Yuanzhen's chest.

His hands trembled slightly, and even Yu Gu couldn't explain the inexplicable grievances and unstoppable tears that came to him at that moment, "...Don't say sorry. It doesn't matter if you want me to change it for you?"

Yu Yuanzhen looked down at him, as if he didn't see the fruit knife on his heart, and called him, "Ah Gu."

"I'm a selfish person." He said, "I only care about my own happiness when I do things, and so does liking you. I don't understand that liking is a matter between two people. I just feel happy when I'm with you."

That feeling is indescribably wonderful.Hugging and kissing, as long as he is with Yu Gu, Yu Yuanzhen will feel a sense of satisfaction and joy. He has never experienced this feeling in his life, and he wants to keep this feeling by all means.

But he was wrong.He used the wrong method.

Yu Yuanzhen also occasionally wondered if he approached this person gently instead of hastily in a different way, would the relationship between him and Yu Gu be different.

He doesn't know that liking is mutual affection, and when he finally understands liking, he finds that he is wishful thinking.If he doesn't continue to go his own way and wishful thinking, the person he likes will stay away from him.

Yu Yuanzhen just doesn't want the person he likes to leave him.

He is so stupid.He didn't know how to keep the person he liked, so he could only pinch him tighter and tighter.

But at the same time he was in more pain.

Yu Gu was not happy, and he couldn't go anywhere if he was happy.

Yu Yuanzhen finally reflected on his own problems. He had never loved anyone, and his love would kill the one he loved.

He was wrong from the start.

Yu Yuanzhen regretted it.

The knife pierced into the flesh.

Yu Yuanzhen reached out to wipe away Yu Gu's tears, Yu Gu looked up at him, "...you can't say sorry."

These are not things that can be resolved with an apology.

"I know." Yu Yuanzhen looked at him, his tone was always soft towards Yu Gu.

Yu Gu's hand holding the handle of the knife was trembling, he only stabbed in a little bit.

Yu Yuanzhen looked at him helplessly and reached out to hug him.

Yu Gu felt the warm blood dripping from his hand in a daze. Yu Yuanzhen held his hand and stabbed the knife into his heart.At the same time, he hugged Yu Gu tightly.

Yu Yuanzhen whispered in his ear, "Ah Gu, you are free."

"..."

"...You should hate me. But I want to know, besides hating, have you...have you ever liked me a little bit."

Tears dripped from Yu Gu's chin onto Yu Yuanzhen's body.

"I hate you. But I don't know."

The author has something to say: I don’t know if you can understand it, and my writing is not very good. 233

Yu Yuanzhen loves Yu Gu, but he didn't know what love was at the beginning, he just followed his own ideas and left Yu Gu by whatever means.When he realized that he was getting deeper and deeper, he suddenly realized that something was wrong with him, and he seemed to be in love with Yu Ku.But it was too late, and Yu Yuanzhen couldn't control his possessiveness, and always did wrong things again and again.Maybe he wants to correct it, but this is already an endless loop, if Yu Gu wants to leave him, he has to force Yu Gu to stay, the tougher his attitude is, the more Yu Gu wants to leave.

In the end, that wave of Yu Yuanzhen realized that Yu Gu was pretty much ruined by him, and he might die next.He didn't want Yu Gu to die, so he chose to let Yu Gu go.He also understood what Yu Gu meant when he said "you can't say sorry".

Yu Yuanzhen tormented him miserably, saying I'm sorry, I love you, it's impossible to think about it, so Yu Yuanzhen finally chose to use herself to let Yu Gu go, and hoped that Yu Gu could let go.

The last question I asked was because he and Yu Gu also had a good time together.He wanted to know, during these days when he was doing a lot of evil, did Yu Gu ever like him a little bit.Even for a moment.

Yu Yuanzhen wanted to know at the last moment if he had been liked by someone he liked.

The answer is that I don't know either. . .