not lonely

If there was a time machine in this world, Shen Lu would not hesitate to go bankrupt and go back to that year, when they were still young, to wake up the lost self who couldn't see clearly.

"Shen Lu, do you know how long Zhong Qianyi has liked you?"

Liao Tongxun's words were like a whip soaked in salt water, whipping his frail soul one after another, scarred and numb from the pain.

"All his unspoken love in the past was all because of you..."

"In the past, all the painful and wronged things he said, the things he talked nonsense after drinking, and the things he mistook when he was distracted, were all because of you..."

"But what about you? You only know how to pretend to be free and easy, you only know how to push him further and further away, you only know how to hurt his heart unintentionally..."

Shen Lu froze in place, completely unable to react to what Liao Tongxun said in his head, and could only murmur numbly, "I...I...don't know..."

"You don't know..." Liao Tongxun sneered, "Of course you don't know, because he is afraid, he would rather tell himself that you don't like him without telling everything, than take the risk of telling you lest you hate him, so all these years, he never Sad, I can only pretend to be by your side as if nothing had happened..."

You say, who is the saddest?

In his sleep, Shen Lu kept interrogating himself.He thought he was the most selfless one, but unexpectedly he was the stupidest one.

After listening to Liao Tongxun's words, Shen Lu no longer had the mind to stay in the noisy hotel, went downstairs and drove to the downstairs of Zhong Qianyi.

He doesn't think he is an open-minded person, especially for Zhong Qianyi's matter.Those actions that pushed him to another person out of sincerity were just because he was stupid, he was sunk in layers of mist, he didn't know that for such a long period of time, he and Zhong Qianyi had only each other of.If he could go back to the beginning, he would not let the great opportunity pass by in a daze. Even now, he is never afraid to fight Du Mingcan with real swords and guns.

That building, that familiar window, the direction he looked at at a 45-degree angle countless times, was dark. At twelve o'clock in the middle of the night, it was pitch black with no light, just like Shen Lu was full of shock, regret, and self-consciousness at that time. A heart full of responsibility and mixed with a little joy fell into a deep well in an instant, with all emotions gone and nothing but emptiness.

So he picked up his mobile phone and called that person. He might, he might just play outside and not come home, he might still be working overtime at the company, not necessarily, not necessarily...

When the phone was picked up, Zhong Qianyi's voice was deliberately lowered, intermittently, softly, "Shen Lu, what's the matter?"

"Xiao Yi, are you asleep?" Shen Lu resisted the complicated emotions in his heart, forcibly controlled his voice not to tremble, and asked softly.

"Yeah, I've been asleep for a while... You called so late, what happened?" Zhong Qianyi was sleepy, afraid of waking Du Mingcan, she got out of bed and left the bedroom.

"I...I want to see you...I'm downstairs at your house, I'll go up to find you...OK..." Shen Lu said eagerly.

"Ah... I'm not at home... What's the matter?" Zhong Qianyi listened to Shen Lu's anxious tone on the phone, guessed what should have happened, and suddenly woke up, "I'll look for you right away, can you wait for me?"

Shen Lu was looking forward to something, hoping that all this was a dream, and when he woke up from the dream, Du Mingcan was just a stranger to Zhong Qianyi.

"You are... Du Mingcan..." Shen Lu's heart sank to the bottom of the sea, and his dream was shattered.

"What's the matter, Shen Lu?" Zhong Qianyi held the phone between his shoulders, and put his clothes on in confusion, "Don't make me hurry up?"

"It's okay...good night..." Shen Lu trembled his lips, suppressed his increasingly intense breathing, and hung up the phone without waiting for a reply.

He suddenly remembered a line from the movie Shawshank they watched together that year:

I hope I can make it across the border, I hope the Pacific is as blue as Idreameditis; I hope to see my friend again, and shake his hand; I hope.

When Reid in the movie finally accepted himself as useless and risked being deported, he went to the dreamlike blue Pacific Ocean and set foot on the dreamy Zihuataneo Island. With his friends, shaking hands in the sun.

Young people are always particularly moved, and the eye sockets of both of them were a little moist after watching it.They promised each other to leave a soil of hope for each other. Even if they have experienced hardships, tribulations, loss of ability and confidence, they are still each other's salvation and hope.

The difference was that Shen Lu was afraid that when he really arrived at that place, no one would smile or wave to him.

After a sleepless night, Shen Lu sat quietly in the car, looking up for a long time at the window that was destined not to be lit tonight, tears silently dripping down the corners of his eyes.

How much time has passed?It seems to be a moment, and it seems to have passed through the ages.

The car door was pulled open, and standing beside the car door was Zhong Qianyi, whose face was reddish because of anxiety.

"What happened? Did you half say that you were fucking trying to choke me to death?" Zhong Qianyi took a breath, raised her leg and sat in the co-pilot.

Shen Lu stared at Zhong Qianyi quietly without speaking, Qingling's eyes were filled with tears.The inside of the car was pitch black, but Zhong Qianyi still saw Shen Lu's crystal eyes under the cover of the moonlight, and couldn't bear it, so he took a tissue from the glove box and wiped his tears.

"You... don't cry... Shen Lu..." He was a little flustered, he rarely saw Shen Lu's fragile appearance, and the self-proclaimed pure man Shen Lu seldom cried in front of him, "With me...with me... When the sky falls, I will support you, huh?"

That fool, that fool, he is going to give up, he is going to give up, just pretend that everything tonight is just a dream, just pretend that everything Liao Tongxun said is drunken nonsense, just pretend that he still As before, I don't know anything.

However, the person he loves appeared in front of him the moment he received his call.Under the biting cold wind in the early morning, I woke up from my sleep, regardless of the deeper dew, just because I was worried about him.

In the past years, countless faces of Zhong Qianyi flashed through Shen Lu's memory. When we met him, he was dull-eyed, after the operation, he was panicked, when he was sick, he was very pitiful, and when he was traveling together, he was calm and quiet. .When they went to Yangzhou together, he regarded death as home, he was in a dilemma when he was pursued by Du Mingcan, and he was suddenly enlightened when he finally accepted Du Mingcan.

Each clock face intertwined and reflected, and finally condensed on the person in front of him, no matter what he looked like, he was the one he loved.

His heart, which died not long ago, came back to life today, but was thrown into hell again, couldn't obey the command of the brain and chose to give up.

"I...I'm broken in love..." He said lightly.

"Oh..." Zhong Qianyi bit her lips, lowered her head and took out the keys from her bag, "Don't lie in the car, go upstairs, there is wine and a bed at home, you can sleep when you are drunk, and cry when you are sad, If it doesn’t work, I’ll fight with you. If you get drunk, cry, and fight, you can get over any suffering.