Fanservice Paradox

This is really a wonderful sentence.

Fang Juexia was embraced by him, and he could almost imagine the scene when he closed his eyes.He even smelled salt water and damp wood.

He sniffed, nestled on Pei Tingsong's shoulder full of dependence, and asked softly, "But we haven't replaced new parts, and they are all old ones, so we may not be able to sail for hundreds of years."

"Do you want to live like an adult?" Pei Tingsong finally had a smile in his voice, he gently stroked Fang Juexia's back with his palm, obviously he was the younger one, but he still acted like coaxing a child, "Old Parts are old parts, we can slowly decay together. Perhaps on a certain calm day, they will sink to the bottom of the sea together and become two remains, sinking slowly like dead whales..."

Fang Juexia's nose was sore again, "I like the ending of this story."

Pei Tingsong smiled at him, "I like it too."

Maybe one day, someone will dive into the deep sea, discover their existence, dig out the stories of them riding the wind and waves side by side, and discover that every piece of rotten parts on them actually comes from each other.

Two very different ships of Theseus became the remains of each other, buried forever in the sea.

Fang Juexia knew that it might be a stupid and risky thing to choose to confess himself when he had just accepted that his illusions were completely broken, but he really wanted Pei Tingsong to know.

Without Pei Tingsong, Fang Juexia would not be able to imagine himself at this time.

It must have been swallowed by darkness long ago.

"I love you." He relaxed a little, looking into Pei Tingsong's eyes, "I love you very much, Pei Tingsong."

Pei Tingsong was stunned.

This was the first time he heard Fang Juexia solemnly say the word love to him.He always thought that they still stayed at the liking level, especially Fang Juexia, he never dared to expect too much emotion from this person, he knew it was difficult.So Pei Tingsong is always afraid of crossing the line, afraid that his too strong feelings will force him to retreat.

But Fang Juexia was so brave, he even preempted and said this sentence.

In his eyes, Fang Juexia's eyes are clear, and there are wounds on his face, but he is so beautiful. The red birthmark at the corner of his eye is more beautiful than a flower petal.Pei Tingsong couldn't help kissing there, and whispered, "I love you too. I love you more than you can imagine."

Pei Tingsong has read countless books. There are all kinds of love in the books. He has tasted them all, but those words have never turned into real emotions. Words are words, and they only live on pieces of paper.He didn't know that he could love someone like this until he met Fang Juexia.

Fall in love with his rebellious body, it will automatically become armor.

"Thank you." Fang Juexia took the initiative to stick it up, kissed his lips, and then let go quickly, with soft and open eyes.

Pei Tingsong's eyes were also sour, and in order to hide his emotions, he smiled again, with a childish face on his face, "You are really, I have thought about the scene where I tell you I love you first, it should have been special Romantic, but you preempted it in the end."

The sudden "accusation" made Fang Juexia a little confused, "Then...you didn't discuss it with me."

discuss?

Pei Tingsong felt it was even more funny, how could this guy be so serious, "It's more than that, I've never seen you cry before, I thought it was because of me that you cried in front of me for the first time." He lowered his head and bit He took a bite of the tip of Fang Juexia's nose, "In the end, this idea also fell through."

Thinking of how she kept crying just now, Fang Juexia felt a little embarrassed, lowered her eyes and muttered, "What's the point of crying..."

"Of course." Pei Tingsong kissed his brows and eyes tenderly, "You look good when you cry, you can do whatever you want."

Young people's love is always reckless, eager to hold it in front of you, lest you turn a blind eye.

Pei Tingsong frowned slightly again, "But if you really cry, I will feel very uncomfortable. My chest hurts very much. I am not afraid of your jokes. I have never felt so uncomfortable before. I received a message from the security guard and knew that the person following you When it was your father, my hands were shaking, and I would actually be shaking in such hot weather." Pei Tingsong took a deep breath and continued, "And why is San Francisco so far from Beijing?"

His words were full of complaints, and the ending sounded like a child's. Fang Juexia could almost imagine how anxious this irritable guy was at that time, and couldn't help laughing out loud.

Pei Tingsong was still immersed in his own emotions, "I'm really scared and tormented. I'm afraid that when I come back, you'll be desperate because of your father, and I'm afraid that you won't want me all of a sudden."

Fang Juexia hugged him, touching him from the back of his head to his back like a big dog, "I won't."

"Well." Pei Tingsong said to him, "I will not let you face it alone. I will not let him appear in front of you again." He looked at Fang Juexia solemnly, "When you take a bath, I People have already sent him to a compulsory drug rehabilitation center. To be honest, I really wish I could kill him and let him disappear in this world, but I know that if you were given a choice, you would not do it."

Fang Juexia looked at him silently, his eyes already gave an affirmative answer.

Drug rehab is the best destination. He has accepted the fact that Fang Ping is no longer his father, but he still wants to give him a chance to be a man.

"Whether he can really quit depends on his good fortune. If he can't quit, he will stay in it for the rest of his life, so as not to do anything more extreme."

After Pei Tingsong finished speaking, he put his hand on his lower back lightly, "Does this hurt?"

Fang Juexia said it didn't hurt, but Pei Tingsong didn't believe it, so he whispered, "It hurts a little bit, it didn't hurt any bones, and it will be fine soon."

Even if that person really gave Fang Juexia life, he had warmed him when he was young, but Pei Tingsong just couldn't accept him hurting his favorite person like this.

His sense organs seemed to no longer belong to him, they were transferred from Fang Juexia's body.When Fang Juexia cried, he would feel heartache, and if Fang Juexia was injured, he would feel even more pain.

"It will never be like this again." Pei Tingsong stroked his bruise lightly, "I won't cry anymore, my heart will break when you cry."

Fang Juexia nodded, with the corners of her mouth slightly raised.

"It's better to laugh." He plucked Fang Juexia's forehead hair, "We think Xia looks good when she smiles."

Fang Juexia has never felt that he is lucky, this word is always very far away from his life, so he keeps walking forward, constantly convincing himself that there must be an exit ahead, and all his efforts will definitely be rewarded.

He didn't know if there would be any return, but he met Pei Tingsong.

This is the luckiest thing for him.

The tip of his nose was a little itchy. Fang Juexia rubbed against Pei Tingsong's chin, and then said slowly, "It's already No. 15 today, you've been away for six days." He also glanced up at the watch on the wall. , "The calculation is not very accurate, but if you calculate it according to the present, you have walked for six days and ten hours."

It was really long, so long that his small clock was out of order, and a second in reality wished in his heart that it would take as long as 1 minute.

But Pei Tingsong came back before the first summer thunderstorm.

Just in time, without letting him get caught in the rain.

"do you miss me?"

Hearing his deep voice, Fang Juexia nodded slightly, "Yes." After speaking, he added, "And I worry about you every day."

Fang Juexia has never seen what a real capitalist family looks like. He has only seen it on TV. It seems that they are all complicated and full of conspiracy.Fang Juexia hates complicated things, and is also afraid that his Pei Tingsong will be bullied by some old and cunning guys, afraid that his mother will say many things that hurt him, and also afraid that Pei Tingsong will not be able to control his emotions and fall into the trap of others. when.

In the past few days, my heart has been broken, I can't do anything well, and I'm sick like a seedling that lacks water.

"I'm afraid you're worried. It's not enough to call you every day."

Fang Juexia leaned against Pei Tingsong's arms obediently, "I can feel at ease when I see you. I am afraid that you will lie to me and say that you are fine. In fact, you are not good at all. Listening to your mother's nonsense, I still want to get angry with her."

What he said was true, which made Pei Tingsong want to laugh.

"Jue Xia."

Fang Juexia likes to hear him call herself that. Although other people also call him that, Pei Tingsong seldom does that. Every time these two words come out of his mouth, Fang Juexia feels cared for.Pei Tingsong's palms were dry and broad, and the feeling of touching his cheeks was very comfortable, "When I go back this time, when I see my mother, guess what my first reaction will be."

Fang Juexia shook his head, he couldn't imagine that scene, even if he imagined something, he didn't dare to say it.

"So she looks like this."

Fang Juexia's hands grabbed the fabric around Pei Tingsong's waist and held it tightly.

He could hardly even remember what his mother looked like.

"What is it like?" Fang Juexia asked him with his eyes closed.

"How should I put it..." Pei Tingsong tried to describe, "She was wearing a red sleeveless dress, and there was a string of black pearl necklaces around her neck, which were very big, but they couldn't cover the lines on her neck, but Her face is flat without a single wrinkle, but her face is bulging, and it's different from the ones I've seen before when I was a child, it's much uglier."

He spoke very bluntly, as if describing a strange middle-aged woman.

"As soon as she saw me, she opened her arms to hug me, called Song, and was very affectionate, as if we were a very close mother and son. But I can't remember how old I was when I saw her last time."

Fang Juexia felt a little distressed, "Then when you were young, didn't you miss your mother?"

"If you have a mother, you will miss your mother." Pei Tingsong said.

This sentence was repeatedly chewed by Fang Juexia in his heart, which was very bitter.

"I remember when I was four years old, she came back once in a while. It was my grandpa's birthday. She was wearing a black dress that day, and there was a very tall man standing beside her. He was one of her boyfriends. Grandpa asked me to go there Find her, say hello to her, I passed by, but didn't speak, just looked up at her."

Just listening to him, a picture appeared in front of Fang Juexia's eyes.Such a small child, just thinking about it, feels very good and pitiful.

"Her boyfriend is French, and he speaks with a heavy accent." Pei Tingsong can still imitate his awkward accent, "Who is this little guy?"

"'Oh, this is my nephew.' My mother said." Pei Tingsong smiled, "So at that time, I said hello to that man in French, and then went back to my grandfather."

Fang Juexia couldn't imagine that a mother couldn't even admit her child.He was suddenly very angry, he was obviously very seldom angry, "Why did you treat you like this, it's too much."

The last four words were bitten hard by him. Pei Tingsong thought it was a little cute, so he raised his hand and rubbed the space between his wrinkled brows.

Feeling that Fang Juexia's face was a little cold, Pei Tingsong turned up the air conditioner twice and held his hand, "She explained later, in front of my grandfather. She said that she loved this man very much, but he didn't like him very much. She likes children, in order not to cause trouble, she just said that."

To her it was just a harmless little lie.

"If you think about it this way, she hasn't changed."

For her, she is always a tool that can be used to please others at any time.

Fang Juexia raised her head, and gently pressed a kiss on his chin to comfort him.Pei Tingsong was actually not that sad, recalling that he had long been painless.

"You don't know, she said she missed me as soon as she saw me, and I told her to stop acting, and said I knew you just wanted to take away my inheritance from my grandpa. She said no, baby, you misunderstood, he just republished , won’t really take away your things, mom still loves you.”

He imitated his mother's tone, looked affectionate, and said intimate words in his mouth.Then slowly, the expression on Pei Tingsong's face cooled down and gradually calmed down.

"You see, in order to achieve her goal, she can tell a big lie." Pei Tingsong smiled, "People are people, and the title of parents does not make them great, and it will even tarnish the title in turn."

Fang Juexia didn't want to see him sad, so she stroked his back one after another.He didn't know what to say, as if saying anything was powerless.Pei Tingsong has never felt any father's love or mother's love. These things are not difficult for ordinary children to obtain, and he has never had them for a moment.

He thought, fortunately, Pei Tingsong didn't grow up in China, so he didn't have to be asked to write articles like "My Father" or "My Mother" in every composition class, or even read them in public.

He even had a picture in front of him. Pei Tingsong was holding a blank piece of paper in his small hands, with only the title and nothing else.

How did such a young child accept the fact that he was not loved by his parents so naturally, and comfort him in turn.

Fang Juexia couldn't help crying again.

The sky outside the window darkened, the rain stopped for a long time, and there was a tinge of red twilight in the gray sky. Pei Tingsong looked up and felt that the light was very similar to the birthmark on Fang Juexia's face.

So he looked down at his lover again, only to realize that he was crying again.

"What's wrong? I'm fine, really." Pei Tingsong kissed his birthmark and his eyes, pecked his lips twice with tears on his lips, "I'm not sad at all. So I Going back this time is just a matter of business. I am an adult and have settled all my inheritance. She has no way to take anything from me. My sister also stopped her from contacting me, threatened her, and harassed me and me again. She, his boyfriend's publishing business can't be done properly."

"Your sister is very kind to you." Fang Juexia rubbed her eyes and said, "She helps you every time. You have to treat her better in the future."

Pei Tingsong laughed, "You are right, you are right."

"You guys are a lot alike, you're both kind of weird, but you're both kind people."

"You obviously haven't seen her."

Fang Juexia raised his eyelids, complaining a bit, "But I know."

"Okay, you know. You know everything." Pei Tingsong smiled helplessly, but heard Fang Juexia say to him.

"Pei Tingsong, you look good when you smile."

This was the first time Fang Juexia praised him for his good looks. Pei Tingsong first thought Fang Juexia was cute and wanted to laugh.He also felt strange, sometimes looking at Fang Juexia was like looking at a child, obviously he was so old, bigger than himself.But sometimes, he felt that he was also a child in Fang Juexia's eyes, because he always showed him a tolerant and loving smile.

Before waiting for his response, Fang Juexia said again, "I love you very much, and I will give you a lot of love, more than my parents combined, okay?"

His voice was too gentle, and the words he said were a little childish.How does love add, subtract, multiply and divide?

But Pei Tingsong knew that he was sincere. Fang Juexia was the person who liked to do calculations the most in the world.His calculation must be correct, and it must be more than the sum of all the people.

"it is good."

Fang Juexia lay in his arms, saying that he still wanted to hear about his childhood.Pei Tingsong picked some pleasant stories, such as when he went fishing for rainbow trout by the lake with his grandfather, and the fish he brought up died after being put into the pool, or that he messed up his sister's birthday party and stole her away. first car.

Without saying too much, Fang Juexia fell asleep from exhaustion, her breathing was heavy, and her chest rose and fell slowly.But his hands were still holding Pei Tingsong's clothes tightly.

Pei Tingsong didn't continue talking, he just quietly looked at Fang Juexia's sleeping face.

Obviously he didn't get much, but he wanted to make up for him.

What a strange person.

When Fang Juexia was completely asleep, Pei Tingsong got up quietly, picked up his phone and left the room.He went to the living room and made a phone call with the previous personal bodyguard to confirm the progress of the matter.He was still not at ease, and arranged a few more people to watch.After it was over, he called Cheng Qiang again and told him that he had come back, but he had the flu, and that Fang Juexia promised to take care of him, and that he might not return to the dormitory for a few days for fear of contagion.

It was rare for Cheng Qiang to rest for a few days, so he didn't ask any more questions, just let him recuperate.Pei Tingsong nodded in response, hung up the phone, went to take a shower, changed into clean clothes, returned to the bed, and fell asleep holding Fang Juexia, who loved cleanliness the most.

He was finally able to sleep and even had a dream.

In the dream, he became short and small, wearing a very expensive but uncomfortable little suit.The dream is full of people, they are dancing and eating.A sense of familiarity emerged little by little, and he returned to the day of his grandfather's birthday.

Pei Tingsong tried to find out where his grandfather was, but when he raised his foot, he saw a beautiful woman calling his name, calling him baby.He was disgusted, so he ran in the other direction, out of the house, and it was dark, and he ran into the garden, which was full of yellow roses, and hid behind a bush.

This overlaps with his memory.

He remembered that he was hiding alone in the bushes, thinking about the difference between his nephew and his son, until the servant found out and took him back.

There was a sound in the grass.The little Pei Tingsong in the dream was a little alert, he wondered if it was the squirrel or the servant who came looking for him.

But when he looked up, he saw a beautiful child, a little taller than him, wearing the most ordinary clothes, but he was good-looking, and there was a pink birthmark in the corner of his eye.He seemed to be invisible, so he stretched out his arms and touched forward, slowly coming to his side step by step.

He couldn't see, but found Pei Tingsong who was hiding.

After getting closer, Pei Tingsong realized that his left leg was in a plaster cast, he was leaning on crutches, and there were bruises on his arm.

"Are you here to wish my grandpa a happy birthday too?" Pei Tingsong asked.

The child shook his head, "I'm here to find you."

Pei Tingsong's eyes lit up, "You want to be friends with me, don't you?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

"How old are you?" Pei Tingsong said first, "I'm four years old this year."

"Seven years old."

"You are older than me, so I have to call you brother." Pei Tingsong said, "You are injured."

He nodded, "I didn't know I couldn't see, so I fell down. Later, the doctor said that I can't see anything when it's dark."

"Then you still come to look for me." Xiao Pei Tingsong didn't understand, "Your leg is also broken, and it's so dark, yet you still come to look for me."

Unexpectedly, that pretty brother turned his face and smiled at him, "I'm coming."

"I promised you that I will make it up to you."