lucky bag

"This, this." Yan Luo pointed out a beautiful woman: "Life is bad and beautiful, she did abduction of babies in her previous life, and was cursed by her parents with the idea that she would never be reborn, so that she would be abandoned all the time in this life. And lifelong infertility, what do you think?"

God slapped him and said, "This figure? You can cut off your waist."

"Isn't this just attracting scumbags?" King Yama was a Buddhist god, but he still didn't dare to be rude to brother Di, and said aggrievedly, scratching his head.

"He's so fat, you're so thin, how can you stuff it in? Huh?" Brother Di looked at him.

Fu Xing clapped his hands: "That's right, it's useless to be thin, you have to stuff it into his blessing!"

"Then where can I find it?" The Jade Emperor stared, "The lucky bags outside have swollen like this. Is there such a fat person?"

"Waist to waist!" God said.

It took the Jade Emperor a while to understand that his "waist" means weighing in Northeast dialect.

A large group of great gods ran out with a whoop.

Lift the lucky bag through the air and put it on the scale.

"It's only two hundred and six!" Buddha said reassuringly.

"Biao, I haven't heard of Lao Guo's cross talk, you know if you can only call it at two hundred and sixty!" Brother Di scolded: "Bring me another name!"

"One more scale!" God waved his hand and conjured up a scale.

"Two two hundred and six!" Said Laojun on the side.

"It's still over the top, let's do another scale." Brother Di said.

In this way, add a scale to the left, add a scale to the right, and finally use the scale for weighing pigs.

Master Buddha grabbed the steamed bun on his head, and said cheerfully: "No more, no less, more than 700 catties, your heavenly food is really not so good."

What he said made the Queen Mother calm down and laughed.

"How can this man weigh [-] catties? Why don't we let him be reincarnated as an elephant!" Hades suggested.

Everyone gave him a white look, and Dizang said: "Elephants can eat and sleep. If they are not prepared, they are still national treasures. With his good fortune, he may be reborn as a white elephant and live a good life of 80 to [-] years. Can it accommodate the souls of the entire catastrophe in the world?"

Hearing this, Hades shook his head like a rattle.

"We still have to think about it. From the perspective of this deity, his weight is not directly proportional to the standard of his blessing." Manjushri Bodhisattva said.

"The Bodhisattva is right. If he wants to give birth to an animal, his blessing must be more than that." Fu Xing agreed.

"Uh, I have a good idea!" Guangmu Tianwang said.

"Tell me!" The Jade Emperor knew that he could see far, and he usually liked to peek at the things below.

"Let us be reincarnated as whales, and then live in the Japanese sea, and be caught and eaten by the Japanese every day, isn't that appropriate?" Guangmu Tianwang looked at everyone happily after speaking.

The Queen Mother gave him a white look: "Why don't you reincarnate into hundreds of dolphins and live in Wakayama, Japan?"

Guangmu Tianwang pursed his mouth and did not dare to answer.

"I think I was reborn as a mouse in India, where there are many snakes." Someone said.

"I went to Russia to be an elk. The conditions were harsh and I was eaten raw."

"Go to the United States and be a fire and bird, and hang up as soon as Christmas comes."

"If you don't go to the Middle East to become a person, it will be more difficult than anything else." Brother Di said.

The gods looked at him with contempt.

"Look, I didn't mess that up." Brother Di said with a guilty conscience.

Taibai Jinxing raised his hand.

"Say!" Jade Emperor looked at him.

"We seem to be digressing. Is the scumbag a zoo? Is it useful to reincarnate a lucky bag as an animal?" His words made all the debaters quiet down.

"I have an idea!" Nanji Xianweng said.

"Xiang, please tell me!" Taishang Laojun looked at him, after all, he is a birthday star, and he knows that there are more things about people.

"His blessing must be divided into the main body and the auxiliary body. The main body can only be a dead unlucky fat man, but don't be so fat that it will affect his walking activities, otherwise how will he spread his blessings?" Nanji Xianweng said.

"Yes, yes, what about the body?" Brother Di also nodded.

"Find a few people who are hopelessly fat, save their blessings, and then seal them up." Nanji Xianweng said: "He first consumes the blessings of the auxiliary body, eight points of the auxiliary body, and two points of the main body. Isn't it easy to handle, deputy sub-master?"

"It makes sense, so the scumbag can play a role." The Jade Emperor nodded, looking at the masters from all walks of life: "Then trouble to find it, you have to be from our country, so you can put the scumbag by your side."

All the great gods search together, Dizang, Hades, Buddha, and the Supreme Being.

"Yes!" several said together.

A fat man was pointed out, chubby, weighing more than 200 catties, as round as a shrunken version of a lucky bag.

"This fat man is also very pitiful. I was cheated in my business and died in debt. My mother died of illness, and was brought up by my grandmother. The stupid and fat man was bullied after my grandmother died. On a rainy day, I went to grandma’s grave to cry and fell to my death.” Yama said, “How is it?”

"Fat enough!" Brother Di nodded.

"Enough!" Jade Emperor nodded.

"Cute enough!" The Queen Mother nodded.

"That's enough!" Fu Xing nodded.

"Then it's settled like this!" The Jade Emperor waved his hand.

"Then!" Nazha and Yang Jian rubbed their hands together: "Jade Emperor, should we discuss who will protect him from the lower realm?"

"Yo, of course it's me. I took my annual leave and traveled to Korea and Japan for a few months!" said the giant spirit god.

The queen mother glared at him: "Tsk tsk, don't talk about your Korean and Japanese tours, okay? An old man even went to Korea to cut his eyelids."

When the giant spirit god heard it, he immediately covered his eyes.

"Tsk tsk, you also got manicures?" Brother Di couldn't help but smack his tongue.

"Did you have a rhinoplasty?" Li Jing said angrily.

"No, no, I don't have a heavenly king." The Giant Spirit God shook his head.

Guangmu Tianwang showed a disdainful expression: "Not yet, you are already wearing lace underwear, my God, it's still a strap."

"Let's take a look?" Di Ge looked at the giant spirit wretchedly and said.

"Woo, bullying Yin!" The giant spirit ran out covering his face.

Looking at his back, Brother Di clicked his tongue and said, "Don't tell me, although he is burly, his butt is really sticky."

"People have seen the flowers on the underwear." Taishang Laojun also said with a smack.

The Queen Mother glanced at the two of them, and then glared at the Jade Emperor: "I tell you, they are not allowed to travel to Japan and South Korea during public holidays, what the hell! A good burly man, he has been so big and three rough for thousands of years , becoming a sissy jerk."

The Jade Emperor turned his face away and said in a low voice, "Is this the time to discuss this? It's about saving the world."

"The book returns to the main story!" Fu Xing waved his hand: "Look at the things in his lower realm. In this way, first divide the main body and the auxiliary body."

"Then act!" Jade Emperor said.

The blessing bag is divided into one body and three auxiliary bodies.

The body weighed more than 250 kilograms, and it was a fat man of seventeen or eighteen years old. As soon as he entered, his eyebrows and eyes were twisted together, and his small eyes narrowed into a line.

I was taken to wash and changed my clothes. Because I was in the lower realm, I was arranged to wear a pair of fat overalls. I couldn't help it because my butt was too big.

The Queen Mother couldn't help but look at the white and tender lucky bag, and reached out to touch his face: "My little blessing."

The lucky bag couldn't help pouting: "Godmother, am I going to die?"

"How could it be!" The Queen Mother persuaded, "You have eaten so many flat peaches, and if one of them lives for thousands of years, you can live until the universe is destroyed!"

Their mother and son are talking here.

Over there, Brother Di and Jade Emperor are visiting the prototypes of the fat guys that were sent.

"Tsk tsk! More than 1000 catties, this is the essence of your white people." Jade Emperor teased Brother Di.

Brother Di was not convinced: "Chinese people don't have fat people, Chinese people don't have fat people."

"That's not so fat." The Jade Emperor said unconvinced.

Buddha smiled: "It's better for us, everyone loves to be vegetarian!"

"That's because you are poor!" Brother Di and Jade Emperor answered him together, saying that the Buddha ascended to heaven, rolled his eyes and continued to scratch his head. Hey, his head has become more and more itchy recently.

"This scumbag is straight after all, how can he match up with the lucky bag?" A fairy asked.

Yuelao jumped out: "Let's pull the strings. It's not that there are no men who have pulled the strings with men, and there are more and more of them now. Once you pull the red string, you will never go astray!"

Brother Di also scratched his head like Buddha. He has curly white hair and a bald Tianmen in the middle: "It's good, but your red line firepower is too weak. It takes time to pull and pull. There is no quick fix. You What do you think, Lord Buddha?"

The Buddha was scratching his head, and was just annoyed: "Be a monk, don't ask about love."

Brother Di pouted: "I have a good thing, it will work for thieves!"

"What, what?" Jade Emperor asked with a smile.

"Dangdang!" Brother Di took out a small miniature bow: "The arrow of Cupid, the ancient god of love, the global positioning system, no matter after launch, invisible supersonic speed, no matter where you point, you will never go wrong. The most important thing is that its The effect is fast, it can make people fall in love instantly, even if the other party is a sow, it can also make the person who is shot fall in love with it to death. The white arrow shoots the scum, and the red arrow shoots the fat, and the effect is immediate."

"No, no!" Fuxing waved his hand: "This Ah Fu has to spread his blessings first, save the hard-working people, and do good things, or he will be taken care of by the scum in one fell swoop, so is it still worth it?"

The Queen Mother has never expressed any opinion, and now she raised her hand: "Wait a minute!"

"What's wrong?" The gods looked at her?

"It's only now that I realized that our Xiaofu is so cute, and now we are entrusting ourselves to this boy to be matched with a scumbag?" The Queen Mother almost twisted her nose in anger: "No, I'm not so open!"

"Oh, mother~ mother!" Brother Di dragged his voice and said, "Now it's about saving the world. What do I mean you old woman to participate in? Is it important whether Ah Fu is suppressed or the whole world is destroyed? Besides, he Isn't this the stinky skin that the Buddha said? When the time comes, everything will be easy to deal with."

"Rainbow is innocent!" The giant spirit god's voice made everyone tremble.

"Yes, yes, yes, empress, you have to consider for all living beings!" All the gods persuaded.

"After a while, I have to go down to see our Ah Fu, this kid is honest, he can't be bullied, let people say he has no natal family!" The queen mother said arrogantly.

"Okay, okay!" Jade Emperor said, one head and two big ones.

Na Zha and Yang Jian looked at each other and frowned, well, now the place to play in the lower world is gone again.