Unique memory

Xu Jia knocked on the door, and when she heard "Please come in" from inside, she opened the door and went in, saying hello to the people inside: "Hello, Doctor Han."

"Here we come." Dr. Han was writing a report when he looked up and saw him stop writing, closed the book, motioned him to sit down, and poured a glass of water for him.

"Thank you, Dr. Han." Xu Jia took the water and sat down opposite Dr. Han.

"You haven't been here for quite a while, how is your health recently?" Dr. Han asked, he is Xu Jia's psychologist, and it has been more than five years since he first saw Xu Jia.

"Very good." Xu Jia said with a smile, "I was busy before and didn't come for a routine checkup. How are you?"

"I'm fine, too." Dr. Han followed with a smile. The atmosphere between the two of them was not as serious as the general doctor-patient relationship, but rather like elders and juniors. "I remember you are going to graduate this year, right? Do you want to continue your doctorate?" Or are you ready to go to work?"

"If you don't study for a Ph. D., you've already found a job. After you've been busy for a while, you start to go to work."

"That's good too."

After the two chatted for a while as usual, Dr. Han began to inquire about Xu Jia's physical condition, how he slept recently, and whether he needed to rely on medication.

Xu Jia once suffered from severe insomnia. Except for the help of drugs, he hardly had a good night's sleep. When Dr. Han contacted him, he was in a very poor state, and his mental level was on the verge of collapse. It's not that he has been insisting not to let himself get lost, maybe the next step will cause irreversible consequences.

"I haven't taken medicine for more than two months. It was difficult to fall asleep at the beginning. I would wake up several times in the middle of the night. Occasionally, I couldn't fall asleep when I woke up. The situation has been better recently..."

Xu Jia told Dr. Han about her physical condition in the past few months in detail. The two asked questions and answered each other, and Xu Jia's recent diet was also involved.

During the conversation, Dr. Han carefully observed Xu Jia's body language, and felt that his condition was indeed better than that of the last visit, and his words revealed a relatively relaxed state.

This is a very good phenomenon, proving that Xu Jia's mental state has gradually recovered.Dr. Han recorded his recent situation in the medical record while asking, and changed the subject after the consultation was almost finished: "Is there anything that makes you very happy recently?"

"Ok?"

"Your state today is more relaxed than any time you went to the doctor, and..." Dr. Han nodded at him with the pen in his hand, and smiled, "Your eyes are smiling, which has never happened before. of."

Xu Jia froze for a moment, were his eyes smiling?

"This is an unconscious manifestation, just like you told me before that you are fine and don't need treatment, but your eyes are crying." Seeing that he didn't respond, Dr. Han explained, "People compare eyes to The window of the soul is not unreasonable, sometimes a look can express a lot of things, it is more real than a person's expression, and it is the most direct expression of inner thoughts."

"I see." Xu Jia nodded in resignation.

"So I want to hear what happened to you, or did you meet someone who made you happy?"

Meeting someone who makes you happy...

Xu Jia thought of Ling Yang who was chatting with herself online last night.

It has been more than a month since the first time Lingyang took the initiative to send a voice message to himself. During this period, the two of them used the voice message almost every night. Sometimes it was sent by the other party, and sometimes it was sent by themselves. There was no special agreement. But by coincidence, they formed a tacit understanding of asking each other every day if they were there.

"I met someone recently."

Xu Jia didn't hide it from Dr. Han, and told him about his contact with Zhuang Lingyang during this period, including the fact that the other party was similar to Wei Lingyang.

As Xu Jia's psychiatrist, Dr. Han knew the matter between him and Wei Lingyang very well. After listening to it, he thought about it thoughtfully, and then asked, "Do you take it as a sustenance?"

"No." Xu Jia replied quickly and calmly, "I'm very sober."

"I think you should know that there are many people with similar voices in this world."

"I understand."

Why doesn't he understand this? Over the years, he has encountered several voices similar to Wei Lingyang's. He once stopped strangers who he didn't know on the street, just begging them to say a few words to him.

Only this time it was different, really different.

But he didn't say the most important thing.

After the consultation, Dr. Han sent Xu Jia to the door, and sighed as he watched his leaving back.

When Xu Jia was the most ill, Jiang Yan asked him if he could use other methods to make Xu Jia forget some things and make him feel better. She couldn't see her son in such pain but was helpless.

Xu Jia was very cooperative with the treatment at the beginning, but she regretted it at the last moment.

"I know I'm not normal like this, but I don't care. I'm afraid that if it's really cured, I won't remember him."

"...I have lost a lot, and what I can have now is only a few memories. Let me make the decision to keep it."

He still remembered Xu Jia's pale face, tugging at his cuff, almost pleading.

In fact, Xu Jia's problem is not only because of Wei Lingyang, but also because of his family. Many causes were planted when he was very young. The younger he is, the worse his psychological ability is, but he Always restrained.

Wei Lingyang's departure was a breaking point, triggering all the symptoms he had suppressed for many years. Before everyone noticed, the darkness had engulfed him like a tide.

Dr. Han is in his early fifties this year. Over the years he has been a doctor, he has come into contact with many patients with depression and mental disorders, some of whom are more serious than Xu Jia. Some patients are even chatting with him today, and choose the next day. Without committing suicide, no one can save a person who has no attachment to this world.

The son in his family is about the same age as Xu Jia, and he is very happy for Xu Jia to survive, and he also hopes that he can really recover.

……

After leaving the clinic, Xu Jia went back to Jiang Yan's side and stayed with Jiang's father and mother for an afternoon before leaving.

Jiang Yan learned that he had gone to Dr. Han's clinic, and after he left, she called Dr. Han to inquire about his treatment.

In the first one or two years, every time Xu Jia went to Dr. Han for an examination, Jiang Yan would accompany her. Later, when the situation gradually improved, Xu Jia refused her company. Ask by phone, or sometimes have an interview with Dr. Han.

Dr. Han briefly told her about Xu Jia's situation: "Every time he has a follow-up visit, his condition is better than the last one. His heart is very strong, and it is only a matter of time before he recovers."

Jiang Yan breathed a sigh of relief when she heard the words, and was also thankful for her decision to take Xu Jia to see a psychiatrist regardless of Xu Jia's objections.

Jiang Yan still can't forget the first time she met Xu Jia who played two roles, one side was himself and the other side was Wei Lingyang.

He imitated Wei Lingyang's words and deeds, from the tone of his speech to the look of his eyebrows, he was very much like the boy who lived next door to them, as if another person lived in his body, gradually replacing the original Xu Chia.

That almost living as another person terrified her, and for a moment she couldn't help thinking that her son had gone, leaving a soulless shell that would soon die. become another being.

She didn't dare to forget that when she wanted to call the shots and sign the agreement and use other means to poach the young man from Xu Jia's mind, Xu Jia asked her calmly: "I couldn't keep you and Dad in the past. Can't even keep him?"

At that time, his eyes were covered by a layer of dull gray, eroding the original light little by little.

He seemed to be asking her, but also seemed to be talking to himself, his tone was not blaming her, but blaming himself. He attributed everyone's departure to his own problems.

He who looked like that overlapped with the little Xu Jia who sent her and Xu Zhenglin away back then, making Jiang Yan's whole heart tighten. Xu Jia didn't cry, but she couldn't cry.

Dr. Han said that Xu Jia's illness was not caused by a day or two, but by planting factors from his urine. After experiencing her, Xu Zhenglin and Wei Lingyang, a kind of "what I want The concept that everyone I love will leave me", no matter how she makes up for it now, some things will never be undone.

"Thank you, Dr. Han, thanks to you." Jiang Yan sincerely thanked her.

"Sure, no need to thank you." Doctor Han said with a smile, "You have a very good son."

"Yes, he has always been very good."

The two chatted for a while before hanging up the phone.

On the other side, Xu Jia returned home.

He bought some food for Duoduo before going to take a shower. When he got out of the shower, he found that Duoduo had already sat down on the chair in front of the computer desk. Seeing him come out, he called out twice cheerfully.

These days, as long as it is the time for him to speak with Lingyang Lingyang, Duoduo will participate no matter what time it is, and sometimes even when I just come back, it will bark non-stop, urging myself to go online quickly.

Xu Jia looked at its expectant dog face, gave a helpless and indulgent smile, walked over to turn on the computer, then went to the refrigerator in the living room to get a bottle of milk and came back.

As soon as QQ was launched, Xu Jia received news from Top Gun.

At first, the other party said that they wanted to talk to him about the plot and dubbing. However, after communicating for so long, the two of them had very little time to talk about these things. They were more talking about trivial things in each other's lives. There was no special topic, just It is very comfortable to talk about some simple daily life.

In addition to the news about the high ambition Lingyang, Xu Jia also saw in the high school group that someone mentioned Liang Xiuxiu and Feng Rui's National Day wedding.

Xu Jia knew about it when she was having dinner with Jin Hao and the others before the wedding. Later, Feng Xiuxiu also called him. She said that although we haven't seen much time these years, the relationship has never changed, and she told him to go.

In fact, even if she doesn't emphasize, Xu Jia will definitely go. Among the three couples he and Wei Lingyang, Jin Hao and Lu Tingchuan, Liang Xiuxiu and Feng Rui, only Liang Xiuxiu and Feng Rui can hold a wedding in a fair manner and accept everyone's blessings. He will go anyway.

After closing the QQ group, Xu Jia replied to the message from Top Gun Lingyang. The message had just been sent, and the other party sent a voice over.

The first time he heard the other party's voice, Duoduo yelled, stood up on the stool, and stuck out his tongue very happily.

Xu Jia smiled and patted it on the back, signaling it to sit down.

When the two were chatting, Xu Jia mentioned Liang Xiuxiu's wedding and said that he would go back to City H for the National Day.

"City H...is that where you used to study?" Top Gun Ling Yang asked.

"Yes, I grew up there." Xu Jia said. During the chat between the two of them, he mentioned things from the past, school, friends, and the one that filled his heart. people for many years.

"There seem to be a lot of people getting married on National Day, and I just received an invitation, which is on the first National Day." Aspiration Lingyang paused, "I checked the address in the morning, and it seems to be in the same place as you mentioned. "

"What?" Xu Jia was taken aback, "You..."

"Well what do you want to say?"

"No, it's just a bit of a surprise." Xu Jia shook his head and changed the subject, "Mi Le said that the post-processing of the first episode of the radio drama is almost finished, and the drama will be released soon."

"Really?" Ling Yang smiled, and didn't seem to care about this matter, but continued the topic just now, "I thought we had become good friends during this time, you would at least ask Which hotel is the banquet I attended, maybe we can meet up."

meet...

Xu Jia's hand was clenched suddenly, and he didn't know what to say for a moment.

The other party did not give him too much time to buffer, and then said: "However, I feel that it is too far away from the National Day, and the time is a bit difficult. I will fly to City B next week. Can you come to pick me up?"

…………