Unique memory

Jiang Yan asked Lao Cao for a few days off for Xu Jia, and Xu Jia went home to rest after the injection the next day.

Jiang's mother made porridge for him to drink when he came back. Although Xu Jia didn't have much appetite, she was afraid that the old man would be worried, so she suppressed the discomfort in her stomach and drank a bowl.

Jiang Yan had returned to City B after the third day of the Lunar New Year. At that time, Xu Jia was doing well in all aspects, and there was nothing abnormal. She did not expect that Xu Jia's body would be so weak in such a short period of time. There was no flesh on either side of the thin cheeks.

Although she wanted to understand the situation, but Xu Jia's current physical condition, she decided to let him have a good rest for two days and wait for the situation to improve.

Xu Jia slept for a while in the hospital relying on the effects of the medicine during the day, but at night he suffered from insomnia again, and could not fall asleep even after lying on the bed for a long time.

The alarm clock ticked past one o'clock in the morning. He lay in a daze with his eyes open in the dark. Finally, he simply lifted the quilt and got out of bed. He found the key to Wei Lingyang's room from the drawer and was about to go out. Just after walking a few steps, he remembered Hearing Wei Lingyang's nagging, he went back to the bed and put on his shoes, then went out of the room and climbed from his own balcony to Wei Lingyang's balcony.

It was Wei Lingyang who crawled over before, but this was the first time Xu Jia crawled over. When he landed, he accidentally kicked something with his toe, and it fell to the ground with a "cracking" sound.He looked down, and with the moonlight and the street lamp outside, he found that it was the plastic box that Wei Lingyang usually used to hold the stones, and the stones were scattered all over the floor.

These stones were picked up by him and Wei Lingyang at Xiaowai's stream a long time ago. Wei Lingyang has a box here, and he also has a box over there.

During the time when he just picked it up, Wei Lingyangtu was fresh and fine, and always liked to throw stones to his balcony. After a few days, he threw away a box, and then went to him with an empty box, and then went to him from his side. Pour half back.

Picking up the stones all over the floor into the box and putting them back on the wooden shelf beside the wall, Xu Jia took out the key, opened the door of Wei Lingyang's room, and entered the room.

He was familiar with Wei Lingyang's room, as if he was familiar with his own room. He walked straight to the other side in the dim space, reached out to the wall and pressed the light switch in the room.

The light did not come as promised, and Xu Cai realized that the main switch of the power supply should be off.Relying on memory, he dug out the flashlight from the bedside table beside him.

Everything in the room has been tidied up, and the space is much larger than before. He slowly looked at the scene inside the room by the light of the flashlight.

There are posters of Wei Lingyang’s favorite football stars on the wall. There used to be a lot of Wei Lingyang’s favorite animation character models on the entry shelf, but now they have all been put away; next to the shelf is a computer desk, and Wei Lingyang usually likes to sit cross-legged Internet surfing in chairs, now covered with dust sheets over desks and stools, as are side desks and beds.

Without Wei Lingyang, the whole room looked deserted and empty.

Xu Jia walked to the desk, and stretched out his hand to lift off the dust cloth covering it. Following his movements, a puff of dust rushed towards his face. He didn't care, and lifted the cloth aside.

There are still some things on the desktop that have not been cleaned up, such as the alarm clock, pen holder, and textbooks are still placed on it.

Seeing the thick exercise books piled up on the corner of the table, Xu Jia remembered the scene when Wei Lingyang was sitting here doing the questions before, and stretched out his hand to open the top one.

The exercise book is one that Wei Lingyang has been working on recently. Xu Jia flipped through it page by page. When he turned to one of the pages, he stopped and found that there were many names written in the blank space at the bottom of the page. .

The words "Jiajia" are all Wei Lingyang's notes, unlike his usual flamboyant appearance when writing, each stroke is very clear and neat, it can be seen that he is very careful when writing, Xu Jia can even imagine When he was writing, the corners of his lips were slightly raised.

Fingertips lightly brushed the handwriting, Xu Jia stared at it, her heart seemed to be gradually filled with these handwriting, and she was reluctant to turn over it for a long time.

Xu Jia stayed in Wei Lingyang's room for a long time, and the night temperature in April was still relatively low. He only wore a thin long-sleeved pajamas, and found a Wei Lingyang coat from the storage bag in the closet and put it on. , lifted the dust cloth on Wei Lingyang's bed, and just lay down on it.

The quilt and quilt on the bed had been put away a long time ago, and he didn't care. He just curled up on Wei Lingyang's bed, wrapped Wei Lingyang's coat tightly, buried half of his face in the collar of the coat, and pretended to be It was Wei Lingyang who was hugging him, and gradually fell asleep with his eyes closed.

From Wei Lingyang's departure to the present, in Wei Lingyang's room, he fell asleep without hindrance for the first time. He did not wake up in the middle of the night, nor did he open his eyes until dawn, but really fell asleep.

Although the body felt very sleepy, Xu Jia woke up early the next day due to the biological clock formed over the years.

The temperature in the morning made him sneeze, and he lay on the bed with his body curled up for a while, then reluctantly got up, covered the dust cloth back on the bed, put on Wei Lingyang's coat, and crawled back to himself from the balcony balcony.

When he returned to his room, he was stunned by the bright lights, and then he heard Jiang's mother's voice from outside the living room, with a clear crying sound: "Where do you think this child can go? Over there at the school There is no one in the house, and I have searched all around, where can he go?"

"Mom, don't worry, Jiajia is not a child, he must have something urgent to go out..." Jiang Yan's comforting voice followed.

"He is a student, he is not at home or at school, how can I not be in a hurry, no, I have to go out and look for it..."

"I'll go with you." This was Father Jiang's voice.

Hearing this, Xu Jia probably understood the current situation, walked out quickly, and said to the three people who were about to go out: "I'm here, you don't go out."

He suddenly appeared, and the three anxious people were taken aback for a moment. Jiang Yan was the first to react, strode up to him, grabbed his hand and said, "Where did you go? You scared us to death, do you know that?" ?!"

"I……"

"Jiajia!" Mother Jiang rushed up, grabbed his coat and turned him around, "Where did you go? Are you okay?!"

"I'm fine." Xu Jia held her hand and saw that her eyes were red, obviously she had just cried, "Don't worry, I'm fine, I didn't go anywhere."

"Where did you go all night? We searched the entire neighborhood, and went to the house on the other side of the school, but we couldn't find you. We thought you were missing!" Jiang Yan said.

Xu Jia didn't expect that he would cause such a misunderstanding because he just went to sleep with Wei Lingyang for one night. Looking at the three elders who were worried and anxious, he felt guilty: "I'm sorry, I was wrong."

"Just come back, just come back." Father Jiang patted him on the shoulder.

"Jiajia, the clothes on you..." Mother Jiang looked at the clothes on him uncertainly, "Is it Yangyang's? Why are you wearing Yangyang's clothes?"

Wei Lingyang is taller than Xu Jia, and his coat seems to be two sizes too big for him. Wei Lingyang often comes to play, and Mother Jiang has some impressions of his clothes.

Xu Jia didn't hide it from her: "I went to Yangyang last night."

His words made everyone look at each other, Jiang Yan asked: "What are you doing there at night? Where did you get the key?"

"Yangyang gave it to me before." Xu Jia said, Wei Lingyang put all the spare keys of his room and drawers with him, and did not take them away when he left.

Wei Lingyang and Xu Jia have a good relationship. The elders know that it is common for them to eat and sleep together. Jiang’s father and Jiang’s mother watched the two grow up. For him, he has the key to Wei Lingyang’s room. No surprise.

This was not the case for Jiang Yan. After the initial worry, she inexplicably felt that something was wrong.

Last night, Jiang's mother woke up and found that Xu Jia was not in the room at three o'clock in the middle of the night, that is to say, Xu Jia had already gone to Wei Lingyang's side at that time. The Wei family no longer lived here, but Xu Jia was in Wei Lingyang Ling Yang stayed there all night and came back wearing his coat, which is really abnormal.

She had an intuition that Xu Jia was hiding something from herself, and after Xu Jia comforted her parents, she said to him: "Jiajia, I have something I want to talk to you about, come to your room."

"Huh?" Xu Jia turned to look at her, "Now?"

Jiang Yan nodded at him, and went to the room first, followed by Xu Jia.

In the room, Jiang Yan was sitting on the stool beside the desk, and Xu Jia was sitting on the bed next to them, facing each other.

Jiang Yan went to Xu Jia's room last night when Jiang's mother got up at night, wanting to see if his fever had subsided, but found that he was not in the room, and everyone worriedly searched for most of the night and told him what happened.

"Sorry." Xu Jia thought that they were looking for him in the middle of the night, and he must be very impatient, and lowered his head slightly like a child who did something wrong, "I didn't mean it."

"I'm not blaming you, I just want to tell you that everyone is very worried about you, remember to say hello where you go next time." Jiang Yan said softly.

"I see." Xu Jia agreed.

"It's good to know." Jiang Yan paused, then asked again, "Then you can tell me now, why did you go to Yangyang last night?"

Hearing this, Xu Jia tightened her hands on her lap, but did not make a sound.

Jiang Yan didn't urge him either, but just told him her doubts. She intuitively felt that Xu Jia's changes these days were related to this, and waited quietly for his answer after asking.

"Sleep." After a while, Xu Jia replied in a low voice.

This answer made Jiang Yan Yizheng: "Sleep?"

"Yes." Xu Jia replied, "I can't sleep here."

"You mean you can sleep over there?"

"Ah."

"why?"

Jiang Yan blurted out a question, but Xu Jia didn't answer, and fell into silence again.

He lowered his head slightly, his overly fair complexion formed an unhealthy whiteness under the light, and his long-term insomnia caused his eyes to have a layer of dark blue, and his overall mental state was not good.

The two were silent for a long time, but Jiang Yan gave up: "Forget it, let's not mention this for now, your body has not recovered yet, you need a good rest, it's still early, sleep again."

After she finished speaking, she got up and planned to go out. Just after taking two steps, she heard Xu Jia's voice from behind: "Because I miss him."

— because I miss him.

The simple five words made her stop abruptly. Looking back, Xu Jia had already raised her head, looked directly into her eyes, and said slowly, "I want to go to the United States."

"What?" Jiang Yan thought she heard it wrong, and confirmed again, "Where do you want to go?"

"I want to go to America." Xu Jia repeated again, "I want to visit him, and I want to know how he is doing."

Combining Xu Jia's abnormal behavior this time, what he said just now, and thinking about his situation during this period of time, Jiang Yan finally found out that all this happened after Wei Lingyang left. Feeling aroused from the bottom of her heart, she suddenly realized what she had overlooked, and looked at Xu Jia in disbelief: "...do you know what you are talking about?"

"I know." Xu Jia met her gaze and said softly, "I have never been so sober in the past month or so. I want to see him."

He wanted to see Wei Lingyang, and he was going crazy thinking about it.

...

Jiang Yan finally agreed to Xu Jia's idea of ​​going abroad to see Wei Lingyang, but only if he was accompanied by her, she was worried about letting him go there alone.

Half a month later, the two went to the United States together.

The plane landed at the airport, Jiang Yan and Xu Jia went out to stop the car and reported the address of the hospital.

After arriving at the place, Jiang Yan was about to go in, but was stopped by Xu Jia: "Mom, can I go in by myself?"

"I'm worried about you alone." Jiang Yan frowned, apparently disagreeing.

"Don't worry, I'll be out soon." Xu Jia's voice was calm but stubborn.

Jiang Yan thought for a while, and felt that she should give him and Wei Lingyang some space to be alone, so she said, "Well, I'm at the coffee shop I passed by just now, call me if you need anything."

"Okay." Xu Jia agreed.

After Jiang Yan left, Xu Jia entered the hospital, and asked from the front desk to the ward where Wei Zhongqi lived.

When taking the elevator upstairs, Xu Jia felt his palms sweating slowly as the elevator floors were beating layer by layer, and the beating frequency of his heart gradually accelerated. It was nearly two months since Wei Lingyang left. Finally, he crossed the ocean and came to the place where he was, and was about to meet him.

The elevator stopped on the sixteenth floor, and he stood there for a few seconds, calming down his heartbeat before stepping out, walking through the long corridor, and at the end was Wei Zhongqi's ward.When he was about to approach the door, his footsteps slowed down, apart from the uncontrollable excitement, he was also a little at a loss.

He didn't know if Wei Lingyang would be happy to see him, and if he would blame himself for not contacting him for so long, and blame himself for not answering his phone.

It was the first time he was so unsure when he grew up so big.

Under such hesitation, when he was still a few meters away from the door of the ward, he stopped unconsciously, hesitating whether to go in later.

"The situation is not very good. She often loses her mind, and sometimes she doesn't respond when she calls..."

Just when he was hesitating, a voice came from the side. The other party spoke in authentic Chinese, and seemed to be discussing someone's condition, but he didn't pay much attention to it. He took a deep breath and just started walking. The sound made him freeze in place.

"Have you taken any medicine? How about your usual meals?"

A tired male voice, between a teenager and a young man, is a voice Xu Jia is very familiar with. These days, it often rings in my ears without warning.

It was Wei Lingyang's voice.

Xu Jia thought about how long it had been since he had heard his voice, probably less than two months, but it felt like a lifetime away.

He followed the sound and saw the person he was thinking of at the corner.

Wei Lingyang was talking to a middle-aged woman, Xu Jia listened for a while before realizing that they were talking about He Minyu.From the conversation, I learned that He Minyu's physical condition was not very good after coming to the United States. The woman said that she was often in a trance, easily forgetting things, often in a daze, and didn't have much reaction to anything outside.

"I see." Wei Lingyang nodded and instructed, "Sister Wu, I can't leave in the hospital at ordinary times, so my mother will trouble you to take care of me. Remember to remind her to take her medicine on time. If she has anything to do, she must Let me know in time."

"I know, don't worry." Sister Wu agreed.

Wei Lingyang and Sister Wu explained a few more words, then left from the corridor on the other side, and Xu Jia followed without thinking.

He followed Wei Lingyang all the way, saw him leave the hospital, stopped at the roadside at the door, stood for a while, took out a cigarette from his pocket, lit one and put it in his mouth.

Xu Jia looked at him from the side, and Wei Lingyang didn't notice him through the cover of the trees.

From a distance of several meters, he could clearly see the curvature of Wei Lingyang's face, which was a little more mature and thinner than before. He was wearing a dark gray sweater, and his standing posture was not as straight as usual, with his back slightly Arched, with an obvious tiredness all over his body.

He remembered that Wei Lingyang didn't know how to smoke before. When other boys in the class smoked secretly hiding from the teacher, Wei Lingyang still hated the bad smell of cigarettes, but now his movements are as proficient as if he has been dealing with cigarettes all year round.

Looking at his slightly bent back, Xu Jia felt extremely uncomfortable. The impermanence of life seemed to bend the back of the person he loved the most, but he couldn't help him in the slightest.

Wei Lingyang didn't know that Xu Jia was behind him. He lit his cigarette, tilted his head and took a deep breath, exhaled the smoke, held the cigarette in one hand, and pressed his eyebrows with the other, remembering what Sister Wu said to him just now, His brows were tightly frowned.

It has been almost two months since I came to the United States. Although my father’s injuries are under better control than in China, there is still no sign of recovery. I can only wait for a miracle to happen. In this hopeless waiting, my mother’s There was also slight mental confusion. He usually had to take care of his father in the hospital, so he could only ask Sister Wu to take care of his mother at home.

After smoking a cigarette on the side of the road, he reached out to stop the car and left.

Watching the car go away, Xu Jia didn't continue to follow, but went back to the hospital and went to Wei Zhongqi's ward.

Even if he didn't see Wei Lingyang, he still needed to visit the two elders.

In the ward, Wei Zhongqi was still unconscious. He Minyu was sitting on the stool next to the hospital bed, holding his hand and talking to him, talking softly about the two of them when they were young. When she sensed someone coming in, she raised her head and saw Xu Empress Jia's expression was obviously stunned: "Jiajia?"

"Aunt Min." Xu Jia called her, walked over and put the nutritional supplements on the table.

"It's really you?" After being surprised, He Minyu took his hand in surprise, "Aunt Min did not recognize the wrong person, did she? Why are you here?"

"I'll come and see you and uncle." Xu Jiahui held her hand, "Are you okay?"

"Very good, very good." He Minyu smiled, the lines at the corners of her eyes were very obvious.

She was very happy about Xu Jia's arrival, and she held him for a friendly chat. Even when Sister Wu reminded her to take the medicine, she was unwilling to stop, and finally Xu Jia persuaded her to take the medicine.

Not wanting to make Jiang Yan wait too long, Xu Jia sat with He Minyu for a while, and Xu Jia offered to leave. He Minyu pulled him reluctantly: "I'm leaving so soon? Why don't you stay a little longer? Aunt Min will go back to cook later , shall we go after eating?"

"No, my mother is still waiting for me." Xu Jia declined politely, he was afraid of staying and seeing Wei Lingyang again, he would not be willing to leave.

"What about Yangyang, aren't you waiting for him to come back?" He Minyu asked.

"No more." Xu Jia smiled and shook his head, "Come and see you and uncle and I'll go back."

When he heard that he said no, He Minyu felt relieved, and at the same time felt distressed, knowing that Xu Jia said that because he was scruples about what he had promised her, and also knew that he came here a long way away. Not only did she want to see herself and her husband, but knowing that, she still couldn't let go of the relationship between the two, and could only feel sorry for the child in front of her.

Her expression fell into Xu Jia's eyes, and it also made him understand that no matter what, she still couldn't accept herself.

After leaving the hospital, Xu Jia contacted Jiang Yan, the two found a place to stay for one night, and returned to China the next day.

Before going back, Jiang Yan asked him: "Do you want to go to the hospital again?"

"I won't go." Xu Jia shook his head. During the chat with He Minyu yesterday, he really felt that she was not in a good state of mind. Sometimes she didn't notice something after repeating it several times.

If he had thought of meeting Wei Lingyang before he came, after seeing He Minyu's situation, he could no longer take that step.

After returning from the United States, Xu Jia fell ill again. He had a high fever of 39 degrees that lingered and burned him a little unconsciously, as if something in his heart was burned to ashes together.

After the fever was finally subdued with folk remedies, the cough did not improve. Western medicine was ineffective. Jiang Yan took him to see a Chinese medicine doctor. The doctor prescribed a few medicines and asked him to go back to drink. It worked a little bit, but not much.

In the words of doctors, heart disease needs heart medicine.

June [-]nd was Xu Jia's birthday, and it happened to be a weekend without classes. At [-]:[-] in the evening, the landline at home rang, and it was from an international long-distance number. Xu Jia who was standing by the side answered it at the first ring.

"Hello." He grabbed the phone, knowing who it was, he asked softly, "Hello?"

The phone was quiet for a few seconds, and then a familiar voice came: "Is it Jiajia?"

"Yes." Xu Jia replied.

"I'm Yangyang."

"I know."

Xu Jia was born at [-]:[-] in the evening. Wei Lingyang has been stepping on the spot to say happy birthday to him every year in these years.

This year is no exception.

"Happy birthday." Wei Lingyang said on the phone, "I'm sorry I can't spend this year with you, I owe you first, and I will make it up to you later."

"……it is good."

Knowing that no one can predict what will happen in the future, Xu Jia can't say no at this moment.

After the college entrance examination, Xu Jia was not interested in Zhou Ziyao and the others saying that he would go skating to relax, so he returned home and fell asleep for two days. After waking up, his body unexpectedly recovered a lot.

On June [-]th, the school held a high school graduation party to celebrate their graduates.

That night, Xu Jia sat on a chair in the middle of the stage. He didn't dress up too much. He was wearing a simple white T-shirt, holding an acoustic guitar in his arms, and his face was pale as if he had just recovered from a serious illness.

"Exclusive memory." He held the microphone and said to the audience, and then added in his heart: "This song is for myself."

"Forget the first few days after we separated, I like to watch the heavy rain alone, no contact, loneliness is like a chain reaction, I have no strength to want to be happy. The world of tears and rain is like a disaster movie, which makes me feel pitiful now. Sorry, No one has a time machine, and there is no room for negotiation when it is over..."

Xu Jia plucked the strings lightly. This time he sang "Simple Love" to Wei Lingyang in the bar. It was completely different. It was not as gentle as when the corners of his lips were slightly raised at the beginning, nor was it the same as the one who sang with Wei Lingyang in the audience He looked at the young man who smiled at each other, he seemed to be looking at the front, and he seemed to be looking at nothing.

"I hope you are my exclusive memory, in the bottom of my heart, no matter how ugly others say, what I have now is you, half of the love for me..."

He once made an agreement with Wei Lingyang that he would sing "Like You" together at the graduation party of the third year of high school, and sing it to each other.

Now he is the only one left to sing "Exclusive Memory".

Wei Lingyang, I have graduated.

In the future, you can walk alone.

……

After graduating from high school, Xu Jia went to City B, Lu Tingchuan and Jin Hao went to City A, Zhou Ziyao and Zhou Yu stayed in City H, Liang Xiuxiu and Feng Rui went to City T.

Their feast called "Youth" ended up going their separate ways.

The author has something to say:

Life teaches them to grow, and love teaches them to bear, but separation is not necessarily the end, but also another beginning, so that the next meeting can strengthen each other's footsteps.

【Youth article】