The delusional life of the dried fish man

"Boss, how much is this dish?"

There are many stalls on both sides of the street, and there are also some storefronts. This is a market that housewives love to visit. One of the small storefronts is about [-] square meters, which is full of plastic boxes. There are a variety of colorful vegetables for guests to choose and view.

Rows of boxes form a concave shape, standing at attention like a soldier being inspected by a general. In the center of the concave character is the boss's seat.

Looking closely at the army of vegetables next to the seats, the colors are bright and shiny, which makes people feel elated. You can almost imagine how the family members sitting on the table move their index fingers when these dishes are served on the table.

The orange-red color of carrots, the white color of white radishes, the green color of spinach, the purple color of fresh eggplant skins, and the light earthy yellow color of yam skins are intertwined into a stunning color theory.

This well-organized small vegetable stall is not like the small vendors in the general vegetable market. The cleanliness is comparable to that of the supermarket. The boss sitting in the middle is talking to the customers. The voices of the two are not loud, thin, Soft and light, but the turbulent waves in it are like two masters fighting in a martial arts drama. You need to hold your breath, watch all directions and listen to all directions, and you can't make a wrong step.

Because as long as one wrong step is made, the whole game will be lost and the head will fall, and this century duel between masters has already attracted the attention of other stall owners.

The situation of the battle changed rapidly, and all the bosses in the vegetable market were reluctant to blink their eyes, for fear that if they were not paying attention, they would not be able to witness the wonderful scene.

"Auntie, count you 25 yuan!"

The owner's surname is Jia, and his name is Jia Furuo. His face is fair and tender, not even like a man's face. According to him, his fair skin is inherited, and it can't be tanned even if it is exposed to the sun.

His mother is a fair-skinned beauty, so he was born a young boy with fair skin. Even though he is 28 years old, his skin is still so good that people are jealous. He is often beaten up by his sister who inherited his father's dark skin— —Especially when the elder sister was broken in love and the third was still a very white girl.

Everyone knows that one white covers three ugliness. Jia Furuo's white and young skin is like cream, making him not only elegant and delicate, but also handsome and charming.

The woman called Auntie was quite old, with wrinkles on her face, which was scary, but also full of a sense of life, and her narrow eyes were full of shrewdness and scheming.

This is a woman with sharp eyes, who cares about money all her life, and will never give up any chance to make money when she gets old. Money is not just money in her eyes, but a pure belief in life and an important thing in the journey of life .

She is a housewife, in charge of the operation of the whole house, from rice, rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea, to TV, refrigerator, water heater, which one is not related to money?

Housewives can be said to be open all year round. They must be available 24 hours a day. They must understand everything. They have to arrange more things than 7-11 in order to save money and live a good life at home. This is not a easy job.

Looking at the food in front of her, Obasan immediately counted several times in her head like turning on a computer. She made a gesture, her eyes brightened, and she made the best plan for her own pocket and the food and clothing of the whole family.

This is a big battle, there is no room for slack, laziness and carelessness, not only to win, but also to let the opponent lose heart-beatingly, let him understand how unwise it is to provoke her, let him lose until he can only obey I have to cry and thank her for that.

"Boss, this and this, plus this, and this, yes, plus that, and that, only if you don't need this, the total is two hundred yuan, take it."

Taking out two hundred yuan from a thick small wallet, Obasang quickly picked up a handful of green onions and stuffed them into the already full bag, "I still have these green onions for me." Politely said.

She stuffed it desperately, completely ignoring that the poor onion was dying and looked like it was about to be broken.

If Qing Cong had a spirit, he would probably scold him: You two fight as long as you fight, what are you doing with me?It’s okay to be a green onion for humans to eat, and you have to be made so bad. I will never be a green onion in my next life. I want to be a winter melon. If you have the ability, you can try breaking a winter melon!

"Auntie, that's not right. The total is 230 yuan, which is 35 yuan less."

With a gentle smile and a calm tone, Jia Furuo opened the bag gently, and his movements were very leisurely. He took the time to stuff the green onion into the bag in a gentle and rough manner different from Obasan. The smile on his face remained unchanged. It's just that the eyes narrowed slightly, and a fierce and savage light flashed in the eyes like lightning.

There was a smile on his face, but his eyes weren't smiling at all.

Hearing the words 35 yuan less, Obasan's eyes widened ferociously. When he met him, the two people's eyes met, and instantly aroused sparks that could burn the vegetable market.

The sparks were burning, and the bosses in the whole market were sweating on their foreheads and clenched their hands into fists. They were all trembling with fear, and their hearts seemed to be jumping out of their throats.

The victory of this battle is at this moment!

After this literary fight, Jia Furuo is currently in a narrow victory. He is their only hope—because apart from Jia Furuo, there are too few vegetable markets that have not been tricked by Obasan, so they are very worried. Care about today's victory!

Obasan smiled coldly, and flicked the dust on his sleeves that was not there at all. This is the demeanor of a master. If you turn pale and yell, it proves that you are still too tender, and you will be ridiculed if you come out to mess around.

"Oh, did I make a mistake?"

Come here?The smile on Jia Furuo's face got bigger, but his eyes were still sharp.This Obasan used numbers to make tricks from time to time, taking advantage of the turmoil of the war, he randomly counted the stall owners, and when he couldn't figure out the money, he bought the boss's things at a low price. , Every time it caused the owners of the vegetable market to lose money, and later got a name called "Tank Car Obasan".

Not only because her combat power is comparable to a tank, but also because she is like a tank, running over all the vendors in this market, and causing all the bosses to die under her bargain. Everyone is afraid of her to death.

"Green cauliflower is 40 yuan, wax gourd is 25 yuan, coriander is 20 yuan, white radish is 60 yuan, carrot is 30 yuan, tomato is 50 yuan, and corn is 230 yuan. The total is [-] yuan, and green onions are free. Thank you for your patronage."

Jia Furuo methodically told what she bought and how much each item cost, leaving her speechless.

Obasan gritted his teeth resentfully, it seems that buying seven items is too little, next time he will double the number, let's see if he can remember clearly.

"Young boy, you have a good memory." She gritted her teeth and praised, with a bit of reluctance in her tone.

"No, Auntie, I have no merits, I only have a good memory. Thank you for your patronage. I will buy it next time."

Hehe, there are only seven items, how could a memory genius like him not be able to remember them.Jia Furuo had a victorious smile on his face. When he smiled, because of the canine teeth, he looked a bit like a cute little Shiba Inu, with a bit of innocence, which made it hard to get angry.

Obasan took the food and left bitterly, his back looked like the loser in a martial arts movie, with the momentum of vowing to use more powerful and unique moves next time, and make a comeback to defeat the opponent.

Seeing her walking away, all the owners of the vegetable market barely applauded and set off firecrackers. They ran over together, with tears in their eyes and surprise on their faces. In an instant, the small vegetable stall was crowded with a bunch of uncles, uncles, aunts and aunts.

Boss Yu, who specializes in fish, patted Jia Furuo on the back hard and gave a thumbs up, "Good job, Xiao Ruo, it really is a doctor from our vegetable market, praise!"

"Last time, I was scammed by this Obasan for a hundred yuan. It always adds up. I lose money every time I sell it to her, but she is a customer, so I have to sell it." Uncle Yang, who specializes in beef and mutton, couldn't bear it. With tears in his eyes, that Obasan was just trying to trick him, she was really his nemesis, but a street vendor who doesn't sell things to customers is not a good vendor.

"Yes, she counted the money for my tribute balls, flower stick balls, and shrimp balls, and a big bag is only one hundred yuan. How is it possible? I made it by hand. Return my money and time. .” The boss who makes handmade meatballs feels distressed when he thinks of the money he lost.

"My handmade tofu is only five yuan, it's too much, Obasan!"

"You still count the money for your tofu. She bought several clothes last time, but one of them didn't count the money at all, okay? All the money I earned that day was given to her for nothing."

Speaking of which, everyone looked at Jia Furuo and sighed contentedly——

"Sure enough, if Xiao Ruo comes back, she can no longer be blamed."

Xiao Ruo grew up in the vegetable market since he was a child. His family used to be a vegetable stall selling vegetables. According to Lao Jia and his wife, Xiao Ruo quit his job a few months ago and came home to do organic farming. Land, I'm studying how to plant it, but...

Looking at the field he planted, all the vegetables were bitten by insects, and they couldn’t be sold at all. Uncle next door couldn’t stand it anymore, and even carried a bucket of pesticide on his back, saying that he would help Xiao Ruo to spray the pesticide. He knew how to farm, but there was no harvest, but Xiao Ruo hurriedly stopped him, insisted on not spraying pesticides, and only used manual weeding to catch insects. In the eyes of everyone, he wondered if he was too educated and had a weird mind?

It has been almost a season now, and Xiao Ruo hasn't made a dime from that field yet.

Lao Jia and the others all shook their heads when they mentioned this matter, but Lao Jia and his wife were really happy from the bottom of their hearts if Xiao Ruo was willing to come back to take care of the vegetable stall.

The elders are also happy that the child who grew up watching him is back.

After praising Jia Furuo, the bosses all returned to their respective booths, and while they were busy, they occasionally took time to chat.

"Xiao Ruo, there's a new burger restaurant around the corner. It's very big. I was shocked when I saw it. Why did it open so everyone?"

Jia Furuo laughed. It’s not just a hamburger restaurant. Recently, several well-known coffee and food chain stores have opened. The reason is that the land behind the market has been favored by some builders. After extensive construction, a whole row of beautiful houses has been built. Looking at it at night, the lights in many houses are on, which means that there are still many people living there.

This is a satellite city of Taipei. It is not far from Taipei. Now there is an express train passing by. The time to get to Taipei is very fast. The house price is cheaper than Taipei. In addition, the age of the house is very young, so many young couples come here to buy houses and rent. The house indirectly makes this place prosperous.

In addition, the population here originally moved out, and most of the residents were of the older generation, but now due to the improvement of convenience and sound living functions, the young and middle-aged population has begun to return to their hometowns, and this place has become more lively. Of course, the business of the vegetable market has also changed. better.

And probably because the houses sold so well, so many builders held the money, bought vacant land and started to build, so the immigrant population here gradually increased, and even the places in elementary and middle schools were filled by children from the immigrant population. full.

After answering an old man's question, Jia Furuo saw Uncle Yang running over mysteriously.

"Xiao Ruo, it's a photo, a photo! This girl is crazy."

Jia Furuo was stuffed with a few photos, and Uncle Yang was smoking a cigarette, showing a lewd smile that only a man would know, leaving him speechless to ask the sky.

Probably because he is approaching the [-]th mark. Even though he can't grow any organic vegetables, he seems a bit "professional", but he has a Ph. We all know that his family sold a piece of ancestral land to a builder at a good price a few days ago, so the uncles and aunts in the vegetable market think that he is rich, knowledgeable, and hardworking. Practical, he is a good candidate for marriage, and one after another started to be a matchmaker.

"Uncle Yang, I..."

Don't look at Uncle Yang being very masculine and heroic, but when he slaughtered cattle and sheep with a big knife, he was majestic and heroic, but in fact, Uncle Yang was very gossip, and he looked at women... To be honest, it was very bad , is really bad.

"I know you have high vision. This one is good. You have beautiful young teeth and you work in a foreign company. And look, this is a foreign girl. Although she wears revealing clothes, men like this. Look, she has big breasts." ..."

This is a photo of a female publicist, right? Her breasts are almost exposed, not to mention the short skirt is so short that even her panties can barely cover her. Where did Uncle Yang find this kind of photo?

Jia Furuo glanced at it and then his eyes widened, again he could not agree with Uncle Yang's taste.

How could a woman dare to take this kind of photo on a blind date?And what kind of foreign girl is wearing a wig at all, and the color of this wig seems to be dyed pink and failed.

Not long after Yang Bo finished speaking with a smile, seeing his strange expression, he immediately touched his pocket and smiled awkwardly, quickly took back the photo, and replaced it with another one, "Thank you for the photo, I took it by mistake, this is someone else's photo." It was sent to me, this is the blind date photo."

Jia Furuo almost laughed out loud. Uncle Yang's wife had been gone for a long time, and since his children were not around, he had his own way of passing the time.

If Jia Fu didn't pay much attention to the photos, because no matter how beautiful and gorgeous the other person is, he doesn't feel it to a gay. The photo of the fake foreign girl showing her panties just now may make the heterosexual men's blood rush. , but to him, it is even more tasteless than looking at vegetables and radishes.

He casually stuffed the photo into his trouser pocket, said thank you briefly, and then greeted Yang Bo a few words before seeing off the guests, but when Yang Bo finally left, he winked and urged him to look at the photo, and his polite smile almost crooked , I can only say helplessly in my heart——

Uncle Yang, I appreciate your kindness, but I really don't like it.

+ + + + +

All the vendors were busy, and it was soon afternoon.

The vegetable market is the busiest in the morning, and in the afternoon, when it is closed and harvested, there are only a few stalls left standing guard. Jia's tradition has always been to take care of the afternoon.

But in the morning is the time for mothers-in-law to buy vegetables, and in the evening is the time for office workers to buy vegetables after work. In the afternoon, there is no one, not even a cat. Jia Furuo felt so bored, so he took the opportunity to tidy up the stalls , when he was tidying up the vegetable box, his waist tilted, and a photo fell out of his pocket. It was a photo of a woman, not too bad-looking. It was the one that Uncle Yang stuffed him in the morning. Look handsome.

It's a pity that in the vegetable market, there are uncles who can easily cut pigs, chickens and meat, and uncles who can remove scales, kill fish and skin them easily, but there are no handsome guys who are so handsome that they can be scumbags.

Just when he thought there was no handsome guy, suddenly there was one in front of him. He was drowsy, and his heavy eyelids lifted in surprise.

Handsome - handsome!

Although it will take at least another 15 years for him to be his own food, but the child is so cute and handsome, at least he can be seductive.

He really looks like a little angel in an oil painting, so cute and innocent!

Jia Furuo couldn't help but think of his elementary school days, but reluctantly admitted that this child was much cuter than the blank self when he was in elementary school, and he also seemed very smart.

I was a dead child when I was in elementary school, so stupid that he even wanted to beat him twice. His parents told him to buy oil, and he bought it as soy sauce. After being beaten, he argued that there was only one word missing. No, it's all liquid anyway, and the color is black, which looks more valuable.

Of course, this sophistry was rewarded with a severe beating on the buttocks. Even thinking about it now, I feel that I am ridiculously stupid.

Jia Furuo stared at the handsome guy who looked like a first or second grader in elementary school, carrying a small schoolbag as he walked by, seeing him with a hamburger in his mouth and a drink in the other hand, but when he finished eating, he casually The act of throwing the wrapping paper made Jia Furuo disillusioned on the spot.

Why is this kid so devoid of public morals? If he looks handsome but is a jerk, it will only be more annoying, and he will become a social nuisance when he grows up. The most annoying thing is that the trash in this kid's hands is thrown away In front of his booth, is he a display as a little boss?

"Hey, kid, don't litter!"

He stood up to remind him that he didn't want to scare the children, so his tone was very gentle. After all, it is very important to take care of the next generation's delicate saplings. He just wanted to remind him of civic morality, not to teach him a lesson.

The little boy glanced at him lightly from the corner of his eyes, but the words he spit out made him bruise——

"Fuck your ass."

All the cute and handsome little angels flew away, and there was just a brat in front of him. Jia Furuo smoothed the twitching muscle on his face, and told himself that the other party was just a brat, and he must not take it seriously.

"Little friend, don't speak so impolitely. Brother, I'm just telling you that this is a public place, you can't litter. If there is no trash can, you can tell the merchant, and the merchant will let you throw the rubbish."

The little boy laughed again, and it was a contemptuous smile with the corner of his mouth hooked to one side, which caused Jia Furuo's chest to flare up again, and he always felt that he would not say anything good next.

Sure enough, the next second the little boy said: "Big brother? How old are you and dare to call yourself big brother? Shameless, I should call you old uncle, hahaha——"

old man?I am so young and handsome, gentle and elegant, with a beautiful face, and my face is so fair and tender that I can shoot SKⅡ Youth Dew commercials, but I am called an old man by a kid?

The corners of Jia Furuo's eyes twitched so badly, it felt like his face was going to have a stroke.

Hold on, the other party is just a child... But he still couldn't help clenching his fist, really wanting to greet his parents with dirty words, how could he teach his own child to be a little bastard that everyone hates.

No, no, he is a normal and rational adult, and he can't care about a child who doesn't understand anything.

Yes, rational, positive, self-cultivation, children are ignorant, he can't care about it!

Taking a deep breath to stop the rampant emotions in his heart, Jia Furuo did not catch up with the arrogant back of the dead child, and realized his intention of scolding him until he cried.

But the next day when school was over, the little bastard passed by Jia’s food stand again, as if it was a demonstration, he drank Coke and ate a hamburger, and after eating the hamburger, he threw the wrapping paper in Jia Furuo’s In front of the stall, by the way, he gave him a nostril upturned smile.

That smile was simply provocative!

This kid is too much to beat.Jia Furuo gritted his teeth.

No, no, I'm a rational and personable adult, and I absolutely can't argue with children, I, I bear it.

On the third day, the stinky kid still looked proud, drinking Coke, eating hamburgers, and littering again.

On the fourth day, Jia Furuo was so angry that he silently picked up the wrapping paper that the child had thrown away. The child still looked proud, but——

Strange, why are the corners of his eyes a little blue today?Like being hit or bumped.

"Little friend, what's wrong with your eyes?" Jia Fu asked suspiciously.

"None of your business, old man!"

Jia Furuo took a deep breath, looked down, and found that his knee was bruised, not only bruised, but also bleeding a little, but he didn't apply the medicine properly.

"What happened to your knee?"

"It's okay, I want you to take care of it, Uncle Smelly!"

"I don't care, but you must be very afraid of the pain when applying the potion, so you don't apply the potion, right? Hehehe!" He imitated the arrogant attitude of a stinky child who looks at people with his nostrils, and found that the stinky child He shivered a bit, his face flushed with anger, and he ticked his little finger proudly.

To deal with this kind of stinky kid, this kind of attitude is just right. After enduring it for so long, I can finally let off steam. The feeling of revenge is really good.

"How? Am I right?" He also has the tone of beating, and he can be as much as he wants. Anyway, the brat can't beat him with a little force, and he can beat the tank soldier Oppa with his words. Sang, are you still afraid that this little boy's combat effectiveness will approach zero?

The little boy reacted violently, "I am not afraid of pain. How could I be afraid of such a small pain? If you keep talking, I will tell my father to sue you!"

"Only a stinky child who is afraid of pain will use his father's name as a shield at every turn. Hehehe, if you are afraid of pain, just say it. I won't laugh at you, hahahaha——"

Jia Furuo reached out and fumbled in the cabinet below. After all, sometimes he had to peel vegetables or something. Just in case, he prepared basic medicines. He took out physiological saline, ointment and breathable tape for the wound. Shaking in front of the child, it seemed that he was deeply mocking him, and the last laugh was more like the bad and bad devil in cartoons, he didn't know that his laughter could be so evil and mocking.

And the vile laughter really aroused the little boy's anger, he put away his schoolbag, took the iodine from his hand, stood in front of him, raised his neck and said, "Just paint it, I'm afraid of you. "

Jia Furuo moved a small chair from the back and instructed the stinky boy to sit on it. He sat down with a face of reluctance, but when he sat on the chair, because his knee was bent and pulled the wound, he immediately bit his lip and looked at it. She blinked for a while, as if she wanted to blink away the painful tears in her eyes.

What a stubborn kid.Jia Furuo didn't say anything, and squatted in front of him to inspect his wound.

The wound is not deep, it’s just broken skin, it’s a little big, and it’s covered with sand grains, it looks like it’s been hurt by friction, it looks a bit like a fall, but the fall won’t even turn your eyes blue... Jia Furuo thought about it Let's see, this little kid must have a bad personality and be bullied, right?

With his impolite speech, contemptuous attitude, and deliberately provocative behavior, it is indeed easy to be bullied and taught.

Children are very straightforward, they are unhappy when they see you, and they don't hide it, so sometimes children have no scruples when they bully others.

Jia Furuo first washed away the sand grains on the surface with physiological saline, and the water slid over the wound. The little boy trembled slightly in pain. force.

"What grade are you in? Kid."

"none of your business."

"Apart from the four words "None of your business, do you know any other Chinese?" Jia Furuo sarcastically asked, the manners of this stinky boy really need someone to teach him.

"You, don't look down on me, my English is very good." As he spoke, he spoke a lot of English.

Why did he show off his English like this?Could it be...his Chinese is poor?Jia Furuo suddenly realized, no wonder he only said those few annoying words.

"Then do you know what it means to kill two birds with one stone?"

"Isn't it just two birds standing on the same rock? Who doesn't know that?" The little boy had a face of bravado that he would never admit even if he didn't know.

Uh, the level of Chinese is really low. Could it be that Chinese is his weakness?Moreover, he seemed to have a strong sense of self-esteem, if he said he was wrong, he would cry... So Jia Furuo just nodded, not wanting to provoke him too much.

A fart boy also has the self-esteem of a fart boy. Thinking back to when he bought the oil into soy sauce, he said it was only a word without admitting defeat, and the pain in his butt deeply hurt his self-esteem at that time.

So don't make the boy too sad, alas, he is such a kind and compassionate adult, I want to give myself countless likes.