It turns out that I love you

In the dark study room, the endless silence, the cold food, the sound of Gong Xinuo's weak breathing echoed all around, as if there was a long time interval between exhalation and inhalation, the light shining through the glasses on the table was reflected on his pale face .

Gong Xinuo thought he had already forgotten those things.

Unbeknownst to him, the unbearable past seeped into his bone marrow and blood.

Deliberate forgetting, unforgettable memories that cannot be erased, become clearer and clearer.

Gong Xinuo will always remember.

The picture of the father who is full of disgust and swearing and the weak mother who is pregnant with Liujia confronts each other.

"Don't bother me anymore, how many times have I told you, this child, you get rid of it, and then we divorce! Let me tell you, I don't love you anymore. Being together is also torturing each other." Dad carried the travel bag , shouted impatiently.

Gong Xinuo didn't know that the meaning of "travel bag" was that his father would leave him and his mother, and leave this home.

"Jianye, you can't do this, this is your flesh and blood, your child. How can you be so cruel?" Mother's tears dripped into the gaps on the travel bag, turning into a small river of tears .

She clutched Dad's arm tightly and tried her best.

"Hmph! My child." Dad sneered, with the corner of his mouth curled up to one side. "The devil knows who the child in your belly belongs to! I've been running around all year round, don't think I don't know the rumors outside, you and the drunkard who died of his wife have been ambiguous for several years, otherwise how could he Will be so enthusiastic, always come to our house to help you, and even when I am not around! You two are flirting, do I still have to raise it for you?"

My mother was shocked, her eyes were wide open, tears were streaming down uncontrollably, she took a few steps back unbelievably, but she didn't let go of her father's arm, her voice became trembling: "Jianye, what are you talking about. I and You have been married for so many years, how do I treat you, do you really not understand? You have wronged me like this, is it worthy of your conscience? At the beginning, I ignored my parents’ objection and insisted on being with you. Did Hong Xing come out of the wall and leave you?"

"Okay, stop talking nonsense. In short, it is impossible for us to be together again. It's okay if you don't kill the child. When the child is born, I will submit a divorce application to the court. At that time, whether you want it or not Leave, all have to leave!" Dad finished, and pushed Mom hard.

Mom's clumsy body couldn't stand Dad's pushing and shoving at all, and she collapsed on the ground clutching her stomach, crying desperately without any scruples, venting her grievances and sadness without any restraint.

The young Gong Xinuo has been standing at the door of the small bedroom, holding the door, without crying or fear, and calmly witnessing the quarrel between his parents.

It was a common scene, throughout the year, Xiao Xinuo didn't see his father a few times, and every time his father came back, he would quarrel with his mother, throwing things and beating people was even more common.

Xiao Xinuo didn't understand why other people's father and mother were always so nice, they would lead the children out to play together, they would smile at mother and children, and the three of them would chat and laugh together.

Xiao Xinuo thought for a long time, and came to a conclusion: father and father are different.

He always thought that his father loved him and his mother, as well as the little brother or sister in the mother's womb.

However, everyone expresses their love differently.

Thinking of this, Xiao Xinuo no longer felt that his bad-tempered father was scary.

Every time his father and mother quarreled, he would stand silently aside, staring at them so intently, without blinking or speaking, until his father slammed the door and left as usual, leaving behind a crying mother.

Xiao Xinuo waited for her father to leave for a long time before she walked to her mother, raised her little hand to wipe away the tears on her mother's face, and blinked her big clear eyes.

Every time at this time, his mother would hold him in her arms and cry bitterly. Xiao Xinuo hugged her mother's trembling body tightly, never crying or saying a word.

Gong Xinuo will always remember.

Grief tortured her mother into giving birth prematurely, rolling back and forth on the bed with her half-month-old belly in her arms, and Xiao Xinuo wiped her mother's inexhaustible sweat.

Xiao Xinuo threw away the towel, ran to the corridor, and slammed on the door of the neighbor's house desperately. Uncle Li, the wine seller who had been helping their mother and son, rode a flatbed cart for stocking and sent the mother who was in great pain to the hospital.

Little Xinuo stood in the white corridor, the big and red words "delivery room" were printed on the two doors, and her mother's moaning sound changed from time to time, sometimes high and sometimes low, intermittent and incoherent .

At that time, Xiao Xinuo didn't understand what kind of pain it was, but her mother must have felt very uncomfortable, and she definitely hoped that her father could be by her side at this time, comforting her and encouraging her.

Because, he clearly heard his mother calling his father's name, the voice was not loud, but very clear.

For the first time, Xiao Xinuo felt hatred towards her father.

It was him who caused my mother such pain.

Uncle Li's lover died in childbirth. He knew that a woman giving birth was like going around in circles before the gate of hell.

He walked back and forth in fear and anxiety. Smoking was not allowed in the hospital. He sniffed the smoke hard to numb his nerves.

The nurse who covered most of her face with a mask pushed open the door and said in a firm voice, "Who is the family member of the patient? The patient is premature, bleeding heavily, and needs a caesarean section. Who will sign?"

Xiao Xinuo raised her face and looked at the nurse in confusion, not understanding what she meant.

Uncle Li was so frightened that his hands trembled, the cigarette rolled to the nurse's feet, and he didn't dare to pick it up. He stammered and explained: "I'm her neighbor, and her husband is not here, do you think I can sign?"

"You?" The nurse looked him over, shook her head and refused. "No. It must be an immediate family member. Otherwise, if there is an accident during the operation, can you bear the responsibility?"

"This..." Uncle Li hesitated, and looked down at Xiao Xinuo. It's not like he didn't know about their family's situation. If he counted on that unscrupulous father, both the child and the adults would be doomed.

"Auntie, I'll sign!" Little Xinuo stood on tiptoe and took the clip from the nurse's hand. "She is my mother and I am her son."

"You?" The nurse sighed helplessly. How could a young child sign the operation notice casually. "Okay, you should sign it, but please inform her husband as soon as possible, maybe only one adult and child can be guaranteed."

"Okay, okay, thank you." Uncle Li thanked him for signing, and before the nurse entered, he turned his face and found that at some point, Xiao Xinuo had disappeared.

Little Xinuo ran wildly all the way, out of breath, and ran to his father's work unit. His mother brought him here once, and he took note of the path carefully, because he could find his father here.

Little Xinuo was covered in sweat all over his face, and couldn't run anymore. He squatted on the side of the road to rest, wiped off his sweat, and saw his father's figure from a distance. He quickly got up and ran over quickly. I can't lift my feet.

Seeing, father and strange aunt got into a black car one after the other, leaving billowing smoke.

Xiao Xinuo followed closely behind and shouted loudly: "Dad...Dad...Dad..."

His footsteps became slower and slower, his voice became hoarse, and he couldn't keep up with the speed of the car.

Little Xinuo was left far behind, ran too fast, her feet were unsteady, and she fell heavily on the hard ground.

The palms and knees were scratched to varying degrees, and the small wounds were mixed with mud and blood, which was sandy and painful. Little Xinuo, who was covered in dirt, got up, tears swirled in his eyes, biting his lips to prevent them from flowing out,

Xiao Xinuo suddenly came to her senses: "His father, don't want him and mother anymore!"

Gong Xinuo will always remember.

The younger sister who was born prematurely is weak and sick, the mother has no job, which means no income, and the father stopped the monthly living allowance three months ago.

Most of the valuable things in the family were sold off, and my mother's hospitalization expenses were paid in full with the pawned ancestral jade bracelet that my grandmother gave to my mother.

The younger sister fell ill every three days and had no money to be hospitalized, so she just prescribed some medicine to make do with it.

My mother was too embarrassed to ask Uncle Li to borrow money. He was originally a small business and didn't earn much, so he needed money to maintain the operation of the small shop.

In the middle of the night, my younger sister had a high fever again, her little face was flushed with suffocation, she couldn't even cry, she whimpered to express her discomfort.

Even though it was a hot summer day, the night was still chilly. Mother wrapped her sister in a big blanket and led Gong Xinuo to a nearby health center.

In the simple health center, the doctor on duty roughly checked the child's condition, suspected that it was acute meningitis, and advised them to go to a large hospital as soon as possible, so as not to delay the best treatment time.

Mother turned pale with fright, thanked the doctor, picked up her hot sister, and went straight to the central hospital.

After a comprehensive and detailed examination, the doctor in the emergency department confirmed that it was acute meningitis. He arranged for hospitalization and required a hospital deposit of 2000 yuan.

Mom suddenly panicked, 2000 yuan? !

She only has more than 500 yuan in her pocket now, where can she get 2000 yuan in a short while?

Seeing her hesitation, many doctors in similar situations knew the inside story, and kindly reminded her with some sympathy and helplessness: "You'd better find a way to raise money as soon as possible, otherwise, we can only carry out conservative treatment. This is a hospital. There is nothing we can do about it.”

"Yes, don't worry, I will collect the money as soon as possible. Please save my child." The mother cried with tears in her eyes.

Xiao Xinuo could see that the doctor did not treat her sister probably because she had no money.Without saying a word, he ran out of the hospital while his mother was not paying attention.

The thunderous thunder could not stop Xiao Xinuo's footsteps, and the falling raindrops instantly drenched his thin body, and he rushed to his father's "new home" in one breath, stepped up the steps in a few steps, and slammed on the vermilion lacquered gate eagerly, calling All the voices were drowned in the heavy rain: "Dad...Dad...Dad...my sister is sick! Dad...Dad..."

Through the heavy door, Xiao Xinuo couldn't hear the bursts of joy | love inside, couldn't see the two naked bodies intertwined, the two who were crazy enough to ignore everything naturally couldn't notice the movement outside the door .

The rain is getting bigger and bigger; the thunder is getting louder and louder.

Xiao Xinuo's shout became weaker and weaker, and her strength to knock on the door became weaker and weaker.

In the end, the desperate little boy knelt in the rain in front of the door, his lips moving: "Father, sister, mother..."

Repeating these few words tirelessly, tears mixed with rainwater sprinkled on my chest, crying loudly, crying until exhausted, crying until the heavy rain suddenly stopped.

When Xiao Xinuo returned to the hospital covered in rain, her mother was sitting alone on the bench in the corridor, with a few tears on her face, staring dully at the smooth ground, her mind was empty.

Xiao Xinuo walked over slowly, and took his mother's cold hand. As if he had a premonition of what happened, he held her hand tightly.

Mother turned her face away numbly, raised her hand without warning, and landed a powerful slap on Xiao Xinuo's pale face. She was furious like never before: "Who told you to find him? Ah! Jing Chen , remember, he is not your father, you have no father! Remember, you have no father! No father... no father..."

The mother hugged him suddenly, annoyed that she shouldn't have hit her son, all of this was not his fault.

The blame can only be blamed on myself. I was blind and chose the wrong person at the beginning, which led to today's tragedy.

Those oaths that once thought that the two sides would never forget are actually all deceitful.

The grief of losing her daughter surged up, and the mother wept incoherently: "Chenchen, my sister is gone, gone...Chenchen..."

"Mom, you still have me! Me, and mother!" Xiao Xinuo wiped away her mother's tears with both hands, with an extremely firm tone.

From then on, he will depend on his mother for life, and he must grow up as soon as possible to become a man who can protect his mother.

In the current situation, he and his mother are the only motivation for each other to work hard to survive.

The author has something to say:

Thanks a lot! ^_^