On the wedding show before the divorce

Zhengzhi ran out and hugged Chu Nian's thigh and said to her: "Mummy kissed me", when Chu Nian was cooking fish, her body froze, looking at Zhengzhi in disbelief, she didn't even know that her hand was pierced by a fishbone .

Ruan Qiu once said that integrity is too old-fashioned, and he is so cold that he doesn't look like a child at all.

But now, she danced and expressed to her mother that the happy two little ones were about to blow up and take off, and their cheeks were even as excited as red apples.

The dinner was very rich, with six dishes and one soup. In fact, Chu Nian was not good at cooking meat, but for Ruan Youran, she was slowly changing the recipe.

In the evening, Ruan Qiu and Chu Qing came here on purpose. Ruan Qiu bought new toys for Zheng Zhi, and specially made some down-to-earth children of the same age like percussion drums and teddy bears.

Zhengzhi saw it and threw it aside in disgust, she looked eagerly in the direction of the bedroom.

Chu Qing and Ruan Qiu looked at each other suspiciously, feeling that there was something wrong with integrity.What would she like more than toys?What are you looking at?

The same is true for Chu Nian, after she served the last sweet and sour pork ribs, she was a little absent-minded, and she ate the rice one by one.

Ruan Qiu looked at Zhengzhi, then at Chu Nian, and was about to speak when the door of the bedroom, which had been closed for a long time, was pushed open with a "creak".

Several people looked up together, their upright eyes seemed to have light.

Ruan Youran walked out slowly, she was a little weak, but she was in good condition, and even washed her face to refresh herself.

Facing the gazes of several people.

She didn't speak, but sat next to Zhengzheng, Ruan Youran took the chopsticks, looked at the fish that Chu Nian picked for her in Zhengzheng's bowl, and asked in a low voice, "Do you want some fish?"

Looking straight at her, he hesitated and nodded.

This is the first time for Ruan Youran to pick fishbone for a child. She has no experience, and she has picked a piece of fish over and over again countless times. Her care and carefulness make people feel sad.

Chu Nian lowered his head to hide the pain in his heart, Ruan Qiu and Chu Qing were both relieved and sad.

The first step is finally taken...

They haven't forced Jianjian in the past few days, but they know that no one can change it, only herself.

Ruan Youran didn't talk to others, she just served Zhengzheng food quietly, but she didn't know Zhengzheng's preferences, and would observe for a while every time he served her food.

Honesty is actually quite a picky eater. In the past, when Ruan Qiu served her food, she always shook her head and refused to eat it. Only Chu Nian knew her taste.

After Ruan Youran finished picking up all the dishes for her, and carefully observed what Zheng Zheng liked, she felt sad and sad.

Zheng Zheng's favorite taste is actually the same as hers...

They all like sweet and sour...

They all like to eat and it's not that troublesome. If you want to eat fish and shrimp, you have to be skinned by others before you are willing to eat it.

I don't like anything too salty...

Ruan Youran remained silent, she didn't even look at Chu Nian.

But even so, seeing her and Zhengzhi sitting like that, eating the meal she cooked together, Chu Nian still felt all sorts of emotions welling up in her heart. She got up and went to the bathroom, afraid that people outside would listen. Then, she turned on the faucet and cried happily in it by herself.

too long……

too painful……

No one could know how much she missed this moment.

Leaving Ruan Youran, she was almost in pain. She was on the verge of death, living alone in a foreign country with her child.

She really thought about it many times, just tell her like this, let Jianjian come and pick up the two of them to go home.

but……

She stubbornly convinced herself again and again.

What if she dies?

What if integrity can no longer support it?

……

Let her bring back two corpses and bones?

God finally opened his eyes to her.

A few days ago, she had already received the inspection report of Lilo. As long as she pays attention to her daily life, her integrity is no different from that of a normal child.

She... survived in good health.

night.

Chu Nian put hot water to clean the bathtub to bathe Zhengzheng. Her physical strength was not as good as before, so she had to lean on the wall to relax when she bent over to clean the bathtub and stood up straight.

Ruan Youran watched at the door for a moment, then she walked over silently.

Chu Nian looked at her, a little nervous.

There was no communication, Ruan Youran directly took the brush from Chu Nian's hand, she lowered her head and scrubbed the bathtub vigorously, Chu Nian stared at her blankly, after a while, she called softly: "Youran?"

I don't know if it's the heat coming up or what, but Ruan Youran burst into tears while brushing.

Chu Nian looked at her, heartbroken.

Ruan Youran didn't say a word to her until the bathtub was finished, she went out directly and brought in Zheng Zheng who was playing with toys on the bed like a steamed bun after changing into pajamas.

Zheng Zhi is very happy, she doesn't understand the things in the adult world, but she just feels that suddenly there is another mother who loves her, and the smile is more obvious.

Ruan Youran tentatively tested the temperature of the water with her hands. She was always cautious about honest things, for fear of doing something wrong.

Zheng Zheng was put into the bathtub, and Ruan Youran thickened some small bubbles for her, put the little yellow duck in, and casually played the children's song "I Love Taking a Bath" on the phone for Zheng Zheng.

Zhengzhi has never been treated like this at a "child level". She is very happy, kicking the water with her little feet, holding a duck in her hand, and playing happily.

Chu Nian went to pack the towels and milk powder for Zhengzheng. She knew that Ruan Youran had a heart-to-heart, and she didn't want to face her yet.

Ruan Youran felt sad looking at Zheng Zheng who was having fun, she touched Zheng Zheng's soft face: "Have you never played like this before?"

Zheng Zheng shook her head. Although she doesn't like to talk, she stutters very clearly when she wants to answer: "No, my mother didn't dare to use these things for me before. Sometimes I would get sick if I ate them. Recently, I've gotten better."

Ruan Youran's heart seemed to be gouged out by a knife. She held Zheng Zheng's hot water, Zheng Zheng pinched the duckling, and looked at her with dark grape-like eyes: "Mummy, are you unhappy?"

Ruan Youran froze for a moment, she looked upright, not knowing why.

Zheng Zheng smiled: "Mom said that Mommy is very talkative. She is like a sunflower with a long smile. I have never seen a sunflower. Mom, can you show me a smile?"

Ruan Youran's nose was sore, she wanted to cry looking at Zhengzheng, but finally a smile bloomed from the corner of her mouth.

It's really like the sun.

Zhengzheng was very satisfied when he saw it, and laughed like a duckling.

Although Ruan Youran was still a little bored, she couldn't keep her face drooping when facing the child, and she also became soft-spoken.

After taking a bath, Chu Nian came over with a bath towel to wrap Zhengzhi. She looked into Ruan Youran's eyes, but Ruan Youran still didn't look at her. She handed Zhengzhi over and said lightly, "I'll go out for a while."

Zheng Zhi was still laughing at first, but when he heard this, he immediately fell silent.

Chu Nian pursed her lips, "You..."

Ruan Youran frowned: "I'll be back tonight."

……

Such a tone still hurt Chu Nian to some extent, she nodded and said no more, but she felt sorry for the integrity in her arms.

She hasn't seen Zhengzheng so happy for a long time, and at this moment, she can also feel her daughter's loss.

Zhengzheng was washed fragrant, she curled up in the bed like a puppy, Chu Nian kissed her forehead, Zhengzheng grabbed her skirt.

"What's wrong?" Chu Nian stroked her soft hair. After her upright body got better, she gradually gained some flesh. She didn't want to be as pale as before, and became more and more cute.

Zheng Zheng whispered: "When will Mommy come back?"

Chu Nian bit her lips: "Soon, Zhengzhi woke up and saw her, huh?"

Zheng Zheng blinked his wet eyes, stopped talking, rolled the quilt and rolled to the other side of the bed.

She is unhappy and sad.

Zheng Zheng is very similar to Chu Nian in expressing emotions.

Many times, she can't say it in words, but she is a child after all, and body movements can't deceive people.

……

Ruan Youran went to the hospital. She made an appointment with Chu Qing in advance. She sat on a chair and flipped through Chu Nian's case sheets one by one.

Every picture...every time I looked at it, seemed to stab a knife in her heart.

Chu Qing looked at her serious face, and her tone was also cautious: "Heart disease is different from other diseases, especially you can't get angry. Niannian repaired her heart a few years ago...now..."

It's time for a change of heart.

The operation less than three months later determined her life and death.

In this case, Chu Qing still couldn't say it.

Ruan Youran looked up at Chu Qing: "Mom, what kind of pain is it?"

Chu Qing pursed her lips. She felt that the cheap face was not very good, so she could only briefly describe it: "...sometimes my heart beats faster and uncontrollably... More often, I feel distressed, um... To put it simply, It's like an ordinary person who has stayed up late for a long time and suddenly feels uncomfortable in the chest, more often he will feel chest tightness and breathlessness, which will lead to bad temper and despair..."

Ruan Youran nodded, she didn't ask any more questions, she lowered her head, and flipped through the pages one by one.

Chu Qing stared at her silently for a while, then sighed faintly, stepped forward and hugged Ruan Youran: "Okay, just say it when you feel uncomfortable, huh?"

When Ruan Youran raised her head, tears fell, she gritted her teeth, and retreated into Chu Qing's arms: "Mom, why do you think she twisted like this? She is alone, suffering from such a serious illness, and pregnant with our child. How could she not tell me that she just ran abroad like this? How could she be so tolerant? I..." Her teeth clenched her lips: "I wish I could strangle her to death."

Gritting her teeth in pain and crying can't express Ruan Youran's mood at this moment.

I read the medical records from my mother, and talked to the attending physician of the cardiology department.

Ruan Youran just walked home, the car parked downstairs, it was already late at night.

Ruan Youran smoked a cigarette and was silent for a moment. She closed the car windows slowly and stopped breathing through her nose and mouth.

one second...

two seconds...

three seconds...

……

Holding her breath until her face turned purple and she couldn't bear it anymore, Ruan Youran let out a breath. She pressed the steering wheel and breathed violently, yearning for fresh air.

She stretched out her hand again, and hammered her chest hard, again and again, so hard that even her heart, which had been beating sadly for a long time, hurt.

Tears, big tears fell down Ruan Youran's cheeks, onto the steering wheel. In such a closed space with only herself, she burst into tears.

She is distressed.

She is sad.

She wished she could dig out her heart and give it to Chu Nian.

Why doesn't she understand?

Why don't you understand? !