On the wedding show before the divorce

When Nian Nian was talking about this, Chu Qing kept crying with her. In fact, from her and Ruan Qiu's point of view, they also watched Chu Nian grow up since they were young, and they knew her family situation like the back of their hands. Compassion and love for her, really like his own daughter.She experienced all this, Chu Nian felt distressed and sad, blamed herself and regretted, all kinds of emotions were mixed.

The past that was very sad, painful and even insurmountable, at this time, Chu Nian can actually say it in a calm and breezy tone.

In life, there is probably no mountain that cannot be overcome.

When people walk up with their heads up, their scalps tend to be numb, and they are insurmountable.

But when we really reached the top of the mountain and stepped on the gravel, everything turned into a passing cloud.

After briefly describing everything, Chu Nian controlled her emotions, and said slowly: "In the past two years, her integrity has gradually improved. She is very strong. When she was just over one year old, she had to be checked. , doing bone marrow puncture, several doctors pressed her and pierced her spine with a very thin needle. She cried a lot. When I got home at night, she fell asleep crying. I looked sad and wiped my tears secretly. Maybe it was seen by her, since then, she never cried in front of me, no matter how painful she was, she still wanted to find a corner to cry, so that I wouldn't see it."

What Chu Nian said was both gratifying and sad. In fact, she didn't want to be upright from the bottom of her heart. Instead, she hoped that she could love and hate as cheaply as possible, and say everything.

Chu Qing stared at Zhengzhi thoughtfully: "She seems a little afraid of strangers."

Nian Nian nodded, and did not hide anything: "When she was a child, her immune system was very poorly developed, so she basically lived in a sterile environment. At that time, let alone going out to play, even the ground, small stones, small Birds, so she can’t get in touch with the natural things that children play with every day, and it’s only recently that she can gradually get in touch with outsiders.”

Chu Qing nodded, "She is very smart."

Speaking of this, Niannian looked proud: "Yes, I took her for an IQ test, and she belongs to a super high level."

Chu Qing pondered for a while, "This is like you, not cheap."

Niannian: ...

What is the scariest official complaint from my own mother.

When the truth came out, the mother and daughter had mixed feelings, and Chu Qing couldn't help asking, "The next operation is three months away?"

Nian Nian nodded, "Yeah."

Chu Qing: "I have endured it for so long, why are you returning home at this time?"

Niannian lowered her head, the corners of her eyes were a little red: "It's my fault."

It's her bad.

Obviously hiding all this from Jianjian, knowing that such a farewell without saying goodbye would hurt her greatly, knowing that she no longer has any right to stand by her side, and even not qualified to love her anymore, but seeing in the interview, Ruan Youran Smiling and teasing the reporter, asking the reporter to introduce her girlfriend, and even publicly saying in many variety shows that she wants to find a partner at this age, she became jealous.

Heartache.

too long.

Chu Nian didn't even know that his broken heart would still hurt.

Although she didn't say anything, Chu Qing had a panoramic view of her painful and tangled expression, and she said softly, "So, Nian Nian, you came to me this time and told me the truth, you made the worst plan. "

Chu Nian lowered her head and bit her lip.

Chu Qing hit the nail on the head: "You know that you are going to have an operation soon. Although the success rate is extremely low, you still hold on to a glimmer of hope and want to create another miracle like giving birth to Zhengzheng, so you are reluctant, afraid that you will lose your life after you live. Jian really fell in love with someone else. But...you are more afraid of the failure of the operation, letting Jianqian face death, and making Zhengzheng homeless, so you told me all this."

Tears still fell after all, Chu Nian gently closed his eyes, "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong to anyone, except Jianjian." Chu Qing's voice was choked with sobs. When Chu Nian told her all this, apart from heartache and distress for Chu Nian and integrity, she was more shocked by what Jianjian had done all these years. To bear it, in her heart, Ruan Youran has always been a child's heart, and she can't hold back anything, but she actually endured all this silently, without telling anyone, and to protect Chu Nian, What hurts me is that she is still acting even though she is bleeding.

"I'm not the person involved, even your mother has no right to say anything about your relationship, but, Niannian." Chu Qing looked at her seriously: "I won't help you to lie to you, she... "

She is the most innocent.

It is also the most painful.

Between them, no one can feel the pain.

The good lover suddenly left without saying goodbye for three years, from the initial anger to the later struggle, entanglement, disappointment and despair...

Chu Qing didn't even dare to think about how Jianjian got here in the past three years. She and Ruan Qiu are not qualified mothers.

"Behind a lie, there are always countless lies to follow."

"I know you're worried and afraid, but Nian Nian, Zheng Zhi has recovered, and you're about to have an operation. Do you still want to hide it from her at this time?"

"Even if it's a concealment, if your operation is successful, how will you face her when you return to China? How will she accept it when she sees integrity?"

"Mom isn't forcing you, but you have to tie the bell to untie it. There are some things that you have to tell her in person."

"Even if you hit a dead button, even if you start over, you have to take this step."

"Don't really wait for your heart to cool down before you say anything to make it up, or it will be too late."

……

Silent night.

Chu Nian stood alone at the window, holding a wine glass in her hand and looking at the distant scenery, her mind was full of what Chu Qing had said.

After all, she was wrong.

After all, she didn't have the courage to face it.

In fact, why hasn't she thought about everything Mom said?

In this matter, from the beginning to the end, You Ran was the most painful.

Her pain was brought by her body and caused by herself, but the scar on Ruan Youran's heart was left by her with one knife after another.

in the living room.

Chu Qing was also sitting on the carpet. She smiled and watched Zhengzheng build the Lego without interfering. She just kept watching her without saying much.

Zhengzhi seems to have the ability to independently block all attention from the outside world. As long as Chu Qing doesn't make a sound, she doesn't speak, and bows her head to take care of herself.

She has some obsessive-compulsive disorder, this model must be set up in a few days.

Through the crack of the door, Chu Nian looked at the old and the young, all kinds of emotions surged up.

Yes.

Integrity has gradually improved...she...

********

After Ruan Youran finished talking to the two mothers, she dragged her luggage and went to the countryside to find her sister Liu Xinrou.

Her elder sister was sponsored by Chu Qing and Ruan Qiu when she was supporting Xiawa Village in medical treatment.

It's not just about money. When she was a child, during the summer and winter vacations, what Ruan Youran looked forward to most was to go back to the countryside with her two mothers to see her sister.Not only is her sister beautiful, she has curly long hair, and her body is always fragrant. The most important thing is her incomparable gentleness. Even if a very irritable person looks at her gentle and smiling eyes in front of her, It seems that I can't lose my temper.

Xinrou is a teacher, she knew that Jianjian was coming, so she adjusted the class in advance, cooked food at home and waited for Jianjian.

She was dragging a big suitcase, she had the key and opened the door directly, after opening the door, Liu Xinrou was already standing there, she was wearing a blue sweater, her long hair hung down her shoulders, her eyes were gentle, seeing Ruan Youran When she came in, she walked over with a smile: "Are you tired? Come on, wash your hands, my sister cooked your favorite meal."

I don't know what's wrong, just such a sentence, cheap nose sour, tears almost flow down.

Xinrou saw it, she walked over, stretched out her arms and hugged Jianjian, "What's wrong? Are you wronged?"

The gentle voice was accompanied by a gentle pat on the back, Ruan Youran hugged her hard, tears streaming down her face, she couldn't help crying: "Sister...sister...she...she's back, she still knows to come back..."

Who does "she" represent.

Liu Xinrou naturally knew.

Only Chu Nian can make the always optimistic Jianjian cry like this.

When Ruan Youran was in a better mood, Liu Xinrou served her the pork rib soup, "Look at how thin you have become."

Ruan Youran lowered her head.

Xinrou: "Okay, no matter how sad you are, you have to eat well, huh?"

Nodding her head, Ruan Youran sandwiched the pork ribs inside. She really wanted to eat it, but as she ate it, ripples appeared in the soup.

She is sad.

She is aggrieved.

she suffers...

She didn't know how to vent.

She has no one to vent to.

Xinrou sighed softly, she didn't speak, put down her chopsticks, walked over and hugged Ruan Youran quietly.

She wants to cry, she lets her cry.

Don't ask why.

If she doesn't want to eat, she tells her not to eat.

She knew that You Ran had been suppressed for too long.

In the past, Liu Xinrou always regarded Chu Nian as her younger sister and her confidant. From a certain point of view, their families are more similar, their personalities are closer, and they always have endless things to talk about together.

But now, she couldn't help complaining about Chu Nian and resenting her.

What kind of thing is it? You can't tell everyone to solve it. Instead, you have to run away alone, which makes You Ran so miserable.

Did she really not want her?

The night in the mountains is always colder than in the city. At night, Ruan Youran sat on the swing in the small courtyard, her expression was gloomy, she looked at the distance as dark as splashed ink, and remained motionless.

This swing was made when she and Chu Nian came back.

At that time, she insisted on playing on a swing set, so she made the swing set full of bells and whistles, and even the swing rope was covered with flowers.

At that time, she was still smiling and kissing Chu Nian's lips while swinging on the swing, and said a lot of provocative and rambunctious words, and she was satisfied when she said that Chu Nian blushed and dared not look up.

She regards Chu Nian's as the treasure in her heart.

He wanted to pamper her with everything and wipe away all the pain she had experienced in the first half of her life.

However... gorgeous love will eventually wither, Ruan Youran touched the swing rope, the flowers on it had long since withered, no matter how good the decoration was at the beginning, it was bare and bleak at this time.

Xinrou came out with a sweater, and she put it on Youran, "It's cold."

Leisurely looked at her and smiled.

Xinrou rubbed her hair: "It's better not to smile like this, don't pretend to be here with my sister."

Ruan Youran was in a daze, yes, these years, she had missed too many people, and now, the mask has been worn for a long time, and for a while, she couldn't take it off even if she wanted to.

Liu Xinrou sat with Ruan Youran in the small courtyard watching the stars. Although the night was a bit lonely, the stars in the sky were so beautiful that one could not blink. Under the vast starry sky, everything became quiet and charming.Sometimes, when a person's heart feels uncomfortable to a certain extent and cannot be explained by words, the arrogance brought by the mountains, rivers and land becomes a healing method instead.

After sitting for a while, Liu Xinrou gently rubbed her arms, it was still a little cold.

Ruan Youran saw it, and she stood up: "Sister, go back, it's too late, it's time to go to bed."

Yeah, it's time to sleep.

In the past, Liu Xinrou remembered that Youran loved to sleep the most, and like a little pig, she would sleep whenever she was free, but she couldn't wake up no matter what, and she was very angry when she got up.

At that time, no one in the family dared to wake her up, and it was Chu Nian who went over every time.

Once, Xinrou wanted to bring water to Chu Nian, and was about to knock on the door, but the door was ajar, so she glanced casually.

Looking at Ruan Youran on the bed with her eyes still closed, but the corners of her lips were raised, she was clearly awake. Chu Nian sat on the bed, bent over like a bird, and pecked her lips.

But now, Liu Xinrou looked at the lights next door that were still on, it was already one o'clock in the morning, and Leisurely still didn't sleep.

Xinrou paid attention, she specially set the alarm clock, and took another look at five o'clock.

The lights are still on.

Liu Xinrou's brows were slightly frowned, she felt very distressed, but she couldn't comfort her.

She doesn't understand the matter of feelings, but she also knows that no one else can talk about it.

Leisurely came to her because she wanted to relax and heal her wounds quietly.

She can't force her.

Ruan Youran lived here for two days, and she really felt very relaxed. During the day, she would take a walk by the creek to see the beautiful mountains and rivers. At night, she would swing on the swing and watch the stars by herself.

Before I knew it, more than a week had passed.

On the eighth day, an unexpected visitor came to the house.

Qiao Xiaoxiao is Liu Xinrou's student. Although she has been a student for many years, and she is already a freshman at this time, she still gave Ruan Youran a supercilious look when they met.

Ruan Youran has disliked her since she was a child. This little brat obviously has plans for her sister, and she can hold back. Relying on her sister being her teacher, she would come here every winter and summer vacation to do nothing.

Qiao Xiaoxiao didn't know what Ruan Youran had experienced, she just knew that she had rarely come here in the past three years, and she never met her once.Now that they have come here, although the two of them still dislike each other, she is also a little curious: "Hey, why are you here? Why don't you see sister Nian Nian?"

In a word, Ruan Youran's complexion suddenly changed.

Qiao Xiaoxiao was startled for a moment, so frightened that she was at a loss.

She is used to joking with Jianjian, and she has never seen her like this.

Xinrou came over, and she patted Xiao Xiao on the shoulder, "Go to the backyard and have a look, there is sake I made for auntie."

Qiao Xiaoxiao hesitated for a moment, then she took another peek at Ruan Youran, and left as if running away.

Liu Xinrou explained: "She doesn't know."

Ruan Youran nodded, "It's okay."

Although she said so, her mood was obviously depressed.

Until the evening, she was still enjoying the shade in the yard as usual, Qiao Xiaoxiao hugged a piece of watermelon, and approached meanly, "What's wrong with you?"

"Go away." Ruan Youran didn't show any sympathy, "I'm bothered."

Qiao Xiaoxiao spit out a mouthful of watermelon seeds, and took another step closer.

She figured it out.

It turned out that I had a quarrel with sister Niannian, is it going to divorce again?

Chu Nian and Ruan Youran were quite vigorous when they were young. It was not the first time that Ruan Youran gritted her teeth and said to her that she would never care about that incomprehensible stinky woman of Chu Nian.At the beginning, Qiao Xiaoxiao shared the same hatred with her. After all, she was the teacher's sister, and she needed to try her best to please her, but a few times later... she found that she would follow Chu Nian stickily within a week after she finished speaking. After the slap in the face, she stopped talking to her.

Young who has not tossed?

Although she has never had it...but she has always written about it in novels and TV dramas.

Ruan Youran squinted at Qiao Xiaoxiao who was getting closer and closer, "Little boy, let me ask you, do you still like my sister?"

In a word, Qiao Xiaoxiao's face became as red as the watermelon in her arms.

Ruan Youran snorted coldly, "Are you practicing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Are you still holding back after so many years? I just hate people like you who don't say anything, just hold back and hurt innocent people, selfish and hate Fault...blalala..."

The words in the cheap mouth don't change.

Qiao Xiaoxiao looked helpless, "Do you think everyone is like you, the proud son of heaven, you can express what you want without any restraint, and you can bear any result."

Ruan Youran reacted very quickly: "It's better than you holding back like this."

Qiao Xiaoxiao was a little lonely: "I'm not holding back...you try holding back, it's just that the teacher... always treats me like a child."

Ruan Youran looked Qiao Xiaoxiao up and down very unceremoniously, "What about the children? You said that four years ago, are there any children as old as you? If you don't dare to say it, just say that my sister doesn't like it—"

Jianjian didn't say the latter words, but Qiao Xiaoxiao looked at her with bright eyes.

Ruan Youran gave her a big roll of eyes.

This man is not a fool.

It is really better than Chu Nian.

As far as my sister's personality likes to be clean, if she really didn't have any meaning for her, she would have stayed somewhere cool, and how can she be so happy here hugging the watermelon bought by her sister?

After being silent for a while, Ruan Youran slapped the blood-sucking mosquito to death, "Little brat, tell me, what kind of mentality do you have, you just hold back and don't say anything."

Qiao Xiaoxiao didn't bother to talk to her, "Why should I tell you, if you want to know, why don't you ask her yourself."

Whoops, I've become refined.

Ruan Youran sneered: "I have to talk to my sister later—"

"Ah ah ah." Qiao Xiaoxiao looked like a cat whose tail had been stepped on, she sighed: "I'll say what I say. Actually... It's not that I don't want to say it, but I'm afraid of the consequences after I say it, and I can't bear it." She Touching her chin: "Look, if I don't say it, she might still treat me as a student and spoil me, but if I say it and she refuses, then I might never see her again."

Ruan Youran didn't speak, she looked at the stars in the distance.

Such lowliness surprised Qiao Xiaoxiao, she was really happy to see such an optimistic person.

What happened to her and sister Niannian?

No one dared to ask.

Ruan Youran didn't say anything, but Liu Xinrou spoiled her so much that she wished she could bring all the food to her mouth.

It was only on the seventh day that Liu Xinrou noticed that the dark circles under Ruan Youran's eyes were getting heavier, she sighed softly: "Bitch."

Ruan Youran looked at her.

Liu Xinrou's eyes are very beautiful. When she looks at you, you will feel extremely comfortable and have a sense of satisfaction of being watched, "My sister will not ask or tell you about your feelings. I am your family and will always I will stand by your side, but you have to know that your body is not just your own. If one day, you tortured yourself and fell ill, the two aunts will be sad, and I will be sad. All the care is about you. People will suffer even more.”

In this case……

Ruan Youran lowered her head.

In fact, she didn't know that something was wrong with her body.

In the evening, she called her mother's aunt, Sophia.

Aunt Sophia was also a doctor when she was young. After she retired, it was time to study psychology. Chatting with her, Ruan Youran was also very relaxing. She simply described her situation.

"Auntie, I can't fall asleep. I'm obviously sleepy, but I can't fall asleep anyway. There are many distracting thoughts flashing in my mind. Sometimes, when I finally fall asleep, I will suddenly hear a sharp voice in my ear, which suddenly wakes me up. wake up."

"I... really think that there is something in my heart that cannot be broken through. It wants to come out, but it can't get out..."

"I always dream of a bright red operating table. There is a person on the operating table. She is so miserable. She has been cut open. I am in pain. I want to see her face, but I can't see clearly..."

"Sometimes, I even wonder, is everything about me a dream? Am I in a dream and haven't woken up? But I have cut the flesh with a knife, and it still hurts...it's not a dream...it's not Dream……"

……

This is the first time Ruan Youran has described her state to others in such a long time.

Sophia listened very carefully, without interrupting a word, until Ruan Youran finished speaking, she replied softly: "Qijian, you have a knot in your heart, you want to let go of your active thinking, you know it shouldn't be like this, but you However, her subconscious mind was resisting, and there was a reaction in her heart. Auntie thought, if you really want to go down, you should not think about this knot at all, let go first, don't look at this knot, and don't use such extreme Way to hurt the body, let yourself go."

— Let yourself go.

Ruan Youran was in a trance for a moment.

Another day of struggle.

It's time for her to let herself go.

Maybe, she really lived too narrowly.

One shouldn't confine oneself to any cage in one's life, shouldn't one?

In this world, in addition to love, there are family and friendship, bright sky, and hot sunshine.

She shouldn't have trapped herself in a cage of pain, she shouldn't have tied herself up in a knot tied by her own hands.

She shouldn't be like this.

Just like Chu Nian said.

They should have a happy start and a splendid end.

It's time to bring all this to a successful conclusion.

When she woke up the next morning, Ruan Youran flicked her cell phone. She was silent for a long time, and finally dialed the number she knew so well and had called countless times in the past three years but never got through.

She hadn't expected it.

I thought it was still the cold shutdown sound that responded to her.

But now, with the sound of "beep, beep", Ruan Youran thought that her heart would beat faster, that she would be so nervous that her mouth would dry out like every time before.

However, she didn't.

Maybe, she was really so heartbroken that she was so calm and ordinary.

"Hey?"

The voice that Ruan Youran had been looking forward to countless times over the years finally rang.