The sea of ​​suffering is boundless, it is me who turns back

57

A palm-sized bird pressed onto a branch.

Cyan feathers with slightly raised tails, dotted with blue.Hidden among the pink and white petals, it looks like a green leaf.

As the breeze strokes its wings, a layer of fluff floats up, which is very soft and soft.

A figure came from the other side of the courtyard. The simple and elegant white clothes were trimmed with gold silk, and the dark dragon pattern tucked from the hem of the clothes to the waist.Then a white jade belt vividly outlined the shape of that narrow waist.

When the blue bird saw the person coming, it grabbed the flower in its mouth, flapped its wings, and swooped down.

Long Xiao stood still, stretched out his hand very naturally, and hugged the flying bird.

"Pick me up?" Long Xiao smiled and stretched out his hand, scratching the top of Qingniao's head.

The bird's beak lightly pecked at his palm, and spit out a piece of broken flower.

"Bring me flowers again." Long Xiao raised his eyes, and glanced at the acacia in the courtyard: "What should I do if my tree gets bald?"

After hearing this, the blue bird ate the flowers back in one gulp.The little paw jumped up and down, turned around and pointed its tail at Long Xiao.

Long Xiao was overjoyed, and flicked the slightly raised feather twice with his slender fingers, and walked into the room while smoothing the feathers: "I'm teasing you, turn around."

The blue bird didn't have the slightest backbone, flicked its tail, and jumped back quite obediently.

It was probably because the blue bird's fur was too soft and comfortable to touch. Ever since Long Xiao picked it up, he never left his hands.He scratched the tender flesh under the blue bird's neck, and said, "Give me the flowers."

The blue bird tilted its head and rubbed Long Xiao's palm, opened its mouth, and a little pink fell out.

Long Xiao pinched the petals and sniffed: "It smells so good."

As if getting a reward, the blue bird jumped up and down twice.

Long Xiao put the flowers on the case, and casually leaned against the table: "Where is the claw, let me see if the injury is healed."

The blue bird raised its left paw obediently, and Long Xiao lifted it up to take a closer look. The little paw was tied with a white ribbon, which couldn't even be called a ribbon, it was as thin as a silk thread, and it took a lot of effort to untie it.

But Long Xiao's fingers are very dexterous, he can pick out the head with a slight hook, and he can go around the whole thing with two or three strokes.

There was a small wound on the paw, which has mostly healed.Long Xiao heaved a sigh of relief. Just a month ago, the claw almost broke.

He poked it twice: "It doesn't hurt, does it?"

The blue bird shook its feathers.

Long Xiao quickly let go: "Does it still hurt?"

The blue bird shook again, even harder than before.

Long Xiao understood: "Oh, it doesn't hurt anymore." He sat down with the bird in his arms, and when he squeezed with two fingers, the silk thread turned into flying smoke: "I won't tie this up for you anymore. It's uncomfortable after being tied up for so long."

The untransformed blue bird can't speak, and Long Xiao has basically been "soloing" to the bird for a month.But he was quite energetic, and he didn't feel bored when no one paid attention to him.

Long Xiao teased Qingniao for a long time, then suddenly sighed: "You are going to leave when you are well, be careful in the future, and don't run to the Tiger Garden again. I saved you once, so it may not be the same next time." Good luck. Got it?"

"I don't know what you will look like after you transform. When I was a child, I really wanted to raise a little creature. Although my father didn't scold me when he found out, his face was so ugly. Maybe he thought I was worthless? Now that I can make decisions on my own, I don't know. I don't have that kind of thought anymore." Long Xiao tapped the blue bird's belly with his finger: "You are an accident."

Xu was convinced that even uncivilized creatures could not understand people's meaning, Long Xiao babbled endlessly to a bird, and usually behaved in a graceful manner, but now it seemed to open the gate to release the water.

Qingniao stared at Long Xiao eagerly, her black eyes were like black beans.It opened its mouth, closed its beak up and down, and left a red mark on Long Xiao's palm.

Long Xiao laughed twice: "Bite me, do you think I'm annoying?"

"I can't help it. Usually no one talks to me." Long Xiao leaned back on the back of the chair and rubbed the space between his brows tiredly: "Actually, I'm also very tired, but they...they seem to need me more."

The wind blew in through the window, and the blue bird's feathers scattered "shua", Long Xiao's voice became low, and even his face was blurred.

Fu Ziqiu frowned, and slowly opened his eyes.

It was dark, and the firewood in the house was almost exhausted, and the faint light of the fire swayed and illuminated the hut.

Fu Ziqiu turned over slightly, poked his head out from the bed, and glanced at Long Xiao who was sleeping on the ground.

Long Xiao turned sideways slightly, with one hand on his face and the other on his stomach.He had just come back to life, and his physical strength and energy were very weak. The pain that had been clamoring all over his body during the day finally improved a little later. At this time, he was breathing evenly, and he should have slept soundly.

When they were sleeping at night, the two pushed each other for a long time, and Long Xiao was very determined to sleep on the floor.

Fu Ziqiu almost said that it's a big deal to squeeze together.

In the end, reason still prevailed, and after realizing it, he didn't stop Long Xiao anymore.

So, for no reason, he dreamed of the dragon screaming and playing with the birds, was he thinking about it every day and dreaming at night?

The dream was quite realistic, as if I had experienced it myself.

It snowed for most of the day, and the ground outside was covered with a layer of whiteness. After the fire was completely extinguished, the house became brighter.

The blanket covering his body was too short to cover the tall and long-legged Long Xiao.The trousers were rubbed up a little, and the thin ankles were exposed, as if carved out of white snow.After a while, the warmth in the room gradually faded, probably due to the cold, Long Xiao shrank his feet.

This action reminded Fu Ziqiu of the dragon whistling and tail curling in the daytime, with a cuteness in its formality.

The old north wind blew in through the half-opened windows, blowing away the smell of smoke in the house.

Fu Ziqiu pawed at the edge of the bed, and touched Long Xiao's hand beside him with the back of his finger.

So cool.

He got up from the bed lightly, clasped the casement, and pulled the window shut.

There was a little noise when the window was closed, of course it was due to the fact that the window was too old and broken, and it creaked.

Long Xiao was disturbed, turned over and lay on his back, and fumbled in a daze, "What's wrong?"

Fu Ziqiu knelt down beside him: "Close the window, it's fine."

"Um……"

Long Xiao responded with a humming sound, and closed his eyes.

Fu Ziqiu didn't get up immediately. With Long Xiao's light sleep, he only needs to move now, and this person will be fully awake immediately.

But it could be seen that Long Xiao was exhausted, otherwise he would have woken up just after that touch.

Fu Ziqiu looked at Long Xiao quietly, and sized him up unscrupulously through the color of the snow.

Eyebrows, nose, lips, chin, ears.

Everywhere is familiar.

Especially the mouth, he even kissed it, it was soft and very sweet.

This kind of familiarity does not only come from Gu Zhizhou, just like the dream just now, there is a kind of illusory reality, which is the familiarity in the strangeness.

Can't tell the feeling.

Long Xiao and Gu Zhizhou.

It was hard for Fu Ziqiu not to separate them.

One has been with him day and night for 20 years, and he has been thinking about him for another 100 years.

The other is the god of war who lives in other people's mouths, the emperor praised in the history books, the god who has been honored with thousands of glory in the countless illusory pasts, and is high and inviolable.

Feng Ya said that they are the same person, how could two people who are so close and so far away be the same person?

They are like two extremes, there is no difference from the hair to the toes, but there is no similarity from the inside to the outside.

It's like a demon mirror, as beautiful as the outside, as bad as the inside.

Long Xiao was steady, but Gu Zhizhou jumped away.One selfless, one mean.Long Xiao never uttered bad words, but Gu Zhizhou just didn't like to say good things.Gu Zhizhou is like the other side of Long Xiao, all rules, principles, and bottom lines must be broken one by one.

He fulfilled the unattainable dreams of this lawful man all his life, the freedom and freedom that he never dared to imagine in his previous life.

Fu Ziqiu stood up, hugged the quilt on the bed, and gently covered Long Xiao.

When pulling up the quilt, Long Xiao moved and turned sideways towards Fu Ziqiu.

With this movement, the long and smooth hair fell down, covering most of his face.

Fu Ziqiu stretched out his hand to push it away, and wrapped it behind his ear to hang it.

Long Xiao's lips pursed slightly, and he murmured, "Aqiu..."

Fu Ziqiu froze in place.

Woke up?

Didn't wake up, just dreaming.

Long Xiao is a very sensitive person, he is very accurate about people's likes and dislikes.After the "Aqiu" yesterday, he remembered his obvious resistance, and today he directly changed it to "Ziqiu".

Now it's not so easy to control.

Probably fell asleep.

What made it difficult for Fu Ziqiu to tell was who actually yelled this sound.Is it Gu Zhizhou hiding in Long Xiao's body, or himself.

But Long Xiao didn't give Fu Ziqiu too much time to worry about it.

I don't know what he dreamed of, but Long Xiao's hand on the side of his face suddenly grasped the quilt tightly.

The lips opened a small mouth, and the hot air was exhaled vaguely, hot enough to melt ice and snow.

Then, Long Xiao eagerly read out a name.

At the same moment, Fu Ziqiu's ears warmed up.

Long Xiao in front of him turned into a surging lake of fire, a man in red stood beside him, stood there for a while, and then jumped down.

Tongues of flame rolled up his red shirt, the tide submerged him, and the magma swallowed his flesh and blood, every inch.

Huge wings spread out from the man's back, and the beautiful blue feathers were only in sight for a moment before being stained with blood, leaving an empty skeleton soon.

But in a blink of an eye, new fluff emerged again, but the speed of growth was not as fast as the fire engulfed it, and it was scorched again within half an inch.

He had seen this scene in Shura Road a few days ago.

But what was different at this moment was that amidst the severe pain of burning flesh, Fu Ziqiu heard a familiar voice.

He was extremely sad and hated, a despair he had never experienced in his life so far.

"Qinghe... no, please."

Fu Ziqiu couldn't tell the difference again.

The one who spoke was Gu Zhizhou, who was subdued by different people?Or Long Xiao who has never bowed his head to anyone?

Long Xiao's eyes suddenly opened.

The voice is still echoing in my ears——

"Please, let's go..."

The false and real phantoms dissipated, dreams and reality intertwined, only the heart-piercing pain remained boundless.

"I beg you."

Their eyes met, and compared to Fu Ziqiu's blankness and surprise, the emotions in Long Xiao's eyes seemed to be more complicated.

He sat up suddenly, and rushed towards Fu Ziqiu uncontrollably.

Fu Ziqiu was hugged vigorously, his legs and feet lost strength, and he fell to the ground.

Long Xiao hugged him so tightly, as if eagerly grabbing something.With his head buried in his neck, he could feel his heart about to jump through his clothes.

Fu Ziqiu didn't know how to react, his body was as stiff as a piece of wood.

Is the person hugging him Gu Zhizhou or Long Xiao?

Fu Ziqiu always wanted to distinguish them, every movement, every word, he wanted to find out the difference like a critic.He stubbornly felt that as long as he knew who was who, the traces of Gu Zhizhou's existence would not be erased.

If even he confuses them, then Gu Zhizhou's last thoughts in this world will be gone.

Thinking like this, he felt Long Xiao's panting in his ears, and found that he was trembling slightly.

Fu Ziqiu moved, as if he wanted to push him away.

"Don't..." Sensing his movement, Long Xiao trembled even more.His emotions seemed to be about to climb to a peak, and any small reaction could make him collapse.

Long Xiao's voice was distorted, mixed with helplessness and unobvious pleading.

He said in a very low voice, "Don't push me away."

Fu Ziqiu's heart suddenly felt sore, and the nerves in his head twitched uncontrollably, mixed with messy thoughts.A hand seemed to reach out from his body, pinching his wrist, forcing him to move his palm to Long Xiao's back, and gently pressed to his side.

The clothes on the back were already soaked in cold sweat, sticking to the body, showing a chill.

Fu Ziqiu felt the abrupt spine, and began to compare again. Gu Zhizhou was not so thin, but the body under his palm was skinny, too thin, so thin that it made people feel distressed.

In this kind of quiet night, the sudden fragility of the person in his arms made this idea out of control as soon as it came out.

Fu Ziqiu also hugged it with the other hand, his body exerted a little strength, and the warm red light evaporated the drenched clothes.

No one spoke, Long Xiao needed time to calm down, Fu Ziqiu probably didn't know what to say.

Only the palm attached to the spine kept patting, as if afraid of breaking the thin bones, the force was very gentle.

I don't know how long it took, the panting in my ear gradually subsided.

Fu Ziqiu wondered how long Long Xiao would last in this state if he didn't say anything.He sighed and asked softly, "Did you have a nightmare?"

There was a gap in the middle, and after a long while, Long Xiao responded dully.

"It's okay, it's just a dream, it's all fake."

After saying this, Long Xiao tightened his arms again.

Fu Ziqiu was a little uncomfortable being strangled, and his movements stopped: "You..."

"Ziqiu." Long Xiao called him suddenly.

Fu Ziqiu swallowed back the words: "What's wrong?"

He felt Long Xiao tremblingly exhale a hot breath, the breath became intermittent because of the trembling, like a curved wave, more like a winding road with no end in sight.

Long Xiao whispered, "I'm sorry."

Fu Ziqiu's pupils shrank suddenly, and he felt that the sorry was not meant for himself. What Long Xiao wanted to apologize did not occupy Gu Zhizhou's soul. He never felt guilty about this matter, as if Gu Zhizhou was born to sacrifice for him .

So who did he say this apology to?

Who does this person think of himself as?

The temperature on Fu Ziqiu's body faded little by little, and eventually became icy cold.

He pushed Long Xiao away, brushed off his hand mercilessly, and said coldly, "You didn't apologize to me."

Long Xiao seemed to wake up suddenly from a burning nightmare. His body was chilly. He subconsciously stretched out his hand, and his trembling fingertips protruded from his sleeve. He wanted to touch the glamorous face in front of him.

Fascinated, two lifetimes, this is an unexpected accident that he can't wait for, it is the bliss that takes him out of the sea of ​​suffering.

But just as his finger was about to touch it, Fu Ziqiu turned his head away.

Nature is also the beginning of all sorrows.

Long Xiao's hand hangs down.

You shouldn't, you shouldn't have met me.

Long Xiao smiled shallowly: "I know you hate me."

"but I……"

I can't lose you anymore.

"I……"

I can no longer watch you pay for me and sacrifice for me.

"I hate you." Fu Ziqiu's teeth were ground into a circle of blood on his lower lip: "Is it useful?"

"What can be changed, can go back to the past, can Gu Zhizhou come back?"

Fu Ziqiu looked into Long Xiao's smiling eyes: "Can you bring Gu Zhizhou back? Can you give him back to me?"

Gu Zhizhou has been dead for a few days, two days?Or three days?Fu Ziqiu couldn't figure it out, his time stopped at that moment.Compared with others, Fu Ziqiu was one of the most worry-free when his lover passed away suddenly.

No crying, no fuss, calmly accepting the departure of one person and the arrival of another.There is resentment, pain, and unspeakable hatred in my heart.

But he was too sober, sober enough to know that everything was irreparable, soberly staying in the same room with Long Xiao, soberly falling into Long Xiao's drowning tenderness with his feelings for Gu Zhizhou.

Cut him apart and mend him at the same time.

He refuses to admit that he is Gu Zhizhou, and believes that he is Gu Zhizhou all the time.

The sky was brightening inch by inch, and after the fresh snow passed, the sun eagerly emerged.

The light made Long Xiao's face even paler. From his thin shoulders to his bony bones, it seemed that he was not ready to return to the world, and he could break down his flesh and blood and return to the depths of hell again at any time.

This is an unsolvable problem for Long Xiao, and it seems to be more difficult than dealing with the inner demon.

How should I separate myself from myself, and take out another self to return to Fu Ziqiu?

Long Xiao has been strategizing and making decisions all his life, but at this moment he also feels deeply powerless, like egg flowers being scattered, bones being torn apart by boiling water, he can't say anything, what he once hoped for, It is completely impossible for this person to live a happy and worry-free life.

Long Xiao felt that he had screwed up everything, he couldn't fulfill Fu Ziqiu's wish at all, and instead destroyed him with his own hands.

"It can't be right." Fu Ziqiu smiled, so beautiful and so bitter: "I am not a tolerant person. Gu Zhizhou died, and I complained and hated it. But without you, there would be no Gu Zhizhou. Without Gu Zhizhou, You wouldn't be sitting here now."

It wasn't until he said this that Fu Ziqiu realized that it was impossible to separate——

Any one of them is incomplete, Gu Zhizhou and Long Xiao are the incomplete part of each other's life, only when this part is filled, they will be complete.

complete person.

None of them are substitutes for anyone else, they are one, and the current Long Xiao is the real Gu Zhizhou.

He was sad, as if he was helpless, but the words he said were so heart-piercing——

"So I implore you, Your Highness the Dragon God, use every day of your life, use every drop of blood in your body to remember that your life was bought with other people's lives, you stole other people's memories and lives , I ask you, with this hard-won sacrifice, to live forever and ever."

After finishing speaking, Fu Ziqiu shyly withdrew his gaze, and refused to look at him any more. He pushed open the wooden door full of wind and snow, and merged into the vast world.

The big storm invaded in an instant, and Long Xiao couldn't resist at all. His arms in his sleeves were trembling and unable to support him. He fell on the cold ground, his heart agitated, and he vomited a mouthful of blood.

His thoughts gradually blurred, Long Xiao thought——

That is the most vicious curse I have ever heard in my life.