The sea of ​​suffering is boundless, it is me who turns back

51.

The crackling sound of the firewood pile behind him made the deep silence that spread in the hut because of Fu Ziqiu's words seem less unbearable.

"I……"

I do not have.

I can't say it.

Long Xiao's eyes, which were as tender as water, dried up little by little.

He felt ridiculous, even embarrassing.

He didn't deliberately imitate anyone, perhaps to Fu Ziqiu, Gu Zhizhou was Gu Zhizhou, and Long Xiao was Long Xiao.

But to Long Xiao, Gu Zhizhou is his other side.They have a common soul and share a heart.He inherited Gu Zhizhou's memories and feelings, and even felt the sharp pain when his body shattered.

These are all his own things, why do he say that he is learning from Gu Zhizhou?

Long Xiao felt that he had slept for 800 years, and his ability to resist blows plummeted.Or, he should consciously keep a distance from Fu Ziqiu, and he shouldn't have come over at all.

Never should, never should, to Fu Ziqiu, he should not be alive.

Long Xiao smiled.

Everyone said that he was invulnerable to swords and guns, and invulnerable to all poisons.As everyone knows, a few words of someone can hurt him to the ground.

"I'm sorry." Long Xiao didn't know what else to say besides being sorry, what else did Fu Ziqiu want to hear, when he came back and stood here, every breath he took was wrong.

"Would you like to rest for a while?" Long Xiao said in a relaxed manner: "I'm so hungry, let me find something to eat. What do you want to eat? Are fish okay? There is a river behind here."

It was windy and rainy outside, Fu Ziqiu's first reaction was whether he would get wet or cold if he went out to look for food now.He thought about Gu Zhizhou's poor water skills, how to catch fish.

"You are not afraid?"

Long Xiao felt his heart was blocked by someone, very stuffy.

"Not afraid." Long Xiao finally couldn't laugh: "I am a dragon, I am not afraid of water."

The light in his eyes dimmed, his throat tightened, and he had to clear his throat before he could speak: "When Gu Zhizhou was young, he was afraid of water because I made blood into karmic fire, and water and fire are incompatible, so..."

When Fu Ziqiu heard the word "Gu Zhizhou" from Long Xiao's mouth, he was a little out of breath.He felt that there were two people in his body tearing at the same time, one telling him not to do this, and the other encouraging him—

Hurt him, he is the one who took away the person you love the most.Hurt him, he will have a hard time, and you will be happy.

At a certain moment, the pleasure of wanting to be hearty and hearty strongly prevailed.

From Gu Zhizhou's departure to Long Xiao's return, Fu Ziqiu never felt relaxed.Neither hysterical nor defeated, he hid all his grief deep in his heart and became an untouchable wound.

But Long Xiao's whole body is a knife that cuts the wind, no matter what he says or does, even if he stands still, Fu Ziqiu's most sensitive nerve can find him around the bend.

Long Xiao lowered his eyes, and his eyes naturally fell on him.

Dust, mud, damp water spots.

I feel so dirty.

It was his presence that soiled this body.

He was the one who made Gu Zhizhou dirty.

The room warmed up slowly, and the sparks danced without worry. The window was clearly open to let in air, so how could I still feel suffocated.

Long Xiao couldn't stay any longer, every part of this room made him uncomfortable.

"I'm going to catch fish." Long Xiao said.

Opening the door, the pouring rain was swept in by the wind and hit him violently. As if he was being rescued, Long Xiao took a deep breath.

The wind and rain poured into the body along the nasal cavity, mixed with the restless spiritual power, the internal organs seemed to be twisted into a hemp rope, this throbbing feeling finally overwhelmed the discomfort in the heart.

Fu Ziqiu stared at Long Xiao's thin back, watching him rush into the desolate autumn scenery, his clothes were completely wet.

The old wooden door was closed little by little, and he kept Long Xiao out, and Long Xiao kept the wind and rain out.

·

The rain did not show any signs of slowing down, and later on, it actually started to snow.

Long Xiao sat by the fire to warm himself up, and there were two fish sticking out of a branch he picked up from somewhere.He silently shadowed in the cracks between the firelight and the corners, trying to minimize his presence as much as possible, staring at the howling wind and snow through the small opening of the window.Like a whistle, it still makes a sound when it rolls to the door.

He tried to circulate the spiritual power in his body, but it was still messy, and his whole body was throbbing with throbbing pain.

Fu Ziqiu looked at him from a distance, his warm face flickered, and his expression was indifferent, and he couldn't tell what he was thinking.

When Long Xiao came back, his body was dripping with water, soaked in the river, drenched in the rain, and his tattered clothes made of grass stuck to his body, making him even more skinny.

Fu Ziqiu didn't regard him as Gu Zhizhou, and the sympathy he felt in the morning was completely dispelled by Long Xiao's two sentences "water and fire are incompatible".This is the bandit who took Gu Zhizhou's life, he doesn't care or feel distressed, he can't even do it to a stranger.

Suddenly, he heard two desperately suppressed coughs.

Fu Ziqiu couldn't understand himself, even couldn't accept the so-called indifference and distress. He told himself that this person was not Gu Zhizhou, and he didn't care about anything related to Long Xiao.

However, a stronger desire to protect ignited like a fire in his always painful heart.

It seems that there is a person in my heart, manipulating his behavior, depriving him of consciousness, yelling at him, beating him madly, telling him——

"Don't do this to him!"

So Fu Ziqiu couldn't sit still anymore, and blurted out: "Are the clothes dry?"

Long Xiao seemed to be taken aback, then nodded subconsciously: "It's almost there."

He looked at the person who was meditating by the bed and said, "Is your injury better?"

Fu Ziqiu didn't know what was wrong with him, what was wrong with him.He got out of bed uncontrollably, and when he realized it, he had already walked in front of Long Xiao.

He lowered his face and gave a lukewarm "hmm".

Long Xiao smiled at him through the firelight, his face was warmed by the scorching: "It's snowing outside."

Fu Ziqiu paused, then simply sat down cross-legged, picked up a piece of firewood and stirred the fire: "Has your spiritual power recovered?"

"No." Long Xiao said truthfully, "It may take a few more days."

Fu Ziqiu looked at his expression, and the voice in his heart forced him to ask: "Are... are you feeling unwell?"

"Huh?" Long Xiao raised his eyes abruptly, probably because he didn't expect Fu Ziqiu to suddenly care about him, and looked very surprised: "No, I'm fine. If you want to eat fish, I can still catch it."

"I don't want to eat fish." Fu Ziqiu gritted his teeth: "I just want to say, if you are not feeling well or tired, go to bed and lie down for a while."

"No." Long Xiao shook his head: "There's only one bed here, what if I occupy you, you still have injuries."

"how about you?"

"how do I?"

Fu Ziqiu sighed, and his mood gradually calmed down: "You have been sitting here for two days?"

"How could it be?" Long Xiao said with a smile: "This fire can't burn for two days, don't you have to get up to add firewood? The fish is almost ready, are you hungry? Try it later."

Fu Ziqiu didn't speak, he really didn't want to eat fish now, he wasn't in that mood, he didn't feel in the mood to eat anything, his appetite seemed to be stifled.

"And ah," Long Xiao continued: "When I was fighting in the past, how could I have such good conditions, such as a roof and a fire. Things that often happen in the wind, eating and sleeping in the open, that's all over, it's not a big deal."

Long Xiao suddenly brought up the past, and pulled Fu Ziqiu back to that war-torn era.

It's been a day, and Fu Ziqiu doesn't think about the outside world as if he is evading.This place is like a paradise isolated from the world, cutting off the troubles of the world, and allowing him to temporarily shrink back in the reality of "Gu Zhizhou is dead" and "the chaos of the three worlds".

Although there was a person who made him feel uncomfortable sitting opposite.

Although he was looking for other people's business all day.

But now that Long Xiao took the initiative to mention it, he had to force himself to face it again.

Fu Ziqiu asked, "What are you going to do?"

"I'll go back to the Nine Heavens when my spiritual power recovers." Long Xiao didn't hesitate, as if he had planned it early in the morning.

"You can't hide the demon thing."

"En." Long Xiao lowered his eyes, his fan-like eyelashes trembling slightly.The firelight distorted his features, and the soft outlines were smeared into crooked shapes.

After a long silence, Long Xiao slowly said, "It's my fault."

Some snowflakes floated in through the window, and as soon as they fell on the ground, they were melted into water by the warmth of the room, evaporated in an instant, and stayed in the world for only a moment.

"The demon said, your powers are symbiotic."

Long Xiao responded, and said with a low smile, "He was born from my body, like my son."

Fu Ziqiu didn't think it was funny: "So? Is this your reason for not killing him?"

The smile on Long Xiao's face faded inch by inch.

He turned his head and continued to look at the snowflakes outside the window.It's a cold day, the river must be frozen, I don't know if I'll catch another fish before I leave.

"I..." Long Xiao's throat trembled. I don't know what year and month he remembered, and it became a little difficult to even speak: "At that time, I..."

"I was injured." Long Xiao slumped his shoulders and sat there with a slightly hunched posture: "I and Yin Chi didn't get any benefit from that battle between gods and demons. I have no choice, I..."

"Can't kill him."

As if someone had stabbed his heart with a needle, Fu Ziqiu looked at the god of war admired by the world—when the glory and brilliance disappeared, he was like a helpless child, deeply blaming himself for his irreparable mistakes.

I really want to hug him.

As soon as this thought came up, Fu Ziqiu pressed it back forcefully.

"Do you remember Yanniang?" Long Xiao asked.

Fu Ziqiu broke off a piece of firewood in his hand: "Remember."

"She is a very infatuated woman. She has been in love with Yin Chi bitterly for many years, and her desires have become crazy." Long Xiao said: "It's a pity that Yin Chi wants to rule the three realms, and has no intention of loving children."

Fu Ziqiu was stunned: "She's not..."

"No, that turmoil was Yanniang's own imagination from beginning to end. Yin Chi never promised her anything, and her real body even died earlier than Yin Chi."

Fu Ziqiu suddenly remembered the time when he went to look through the history books, Gu Zhizhou keenly realized that there was no record about Yanniang in the historical materials, and after a long time, they were not husband and wife at all?

But how did Long Xiao know? Could it be that Yin Chi took the time to share his love history with him during the war?

No, according to the book, after the third battle between gods and demons, in order to save the captured soldiers of the heavenly clan, Long Xiao went deep into the magic palace alone, and was imprisoned by Yin Chi for more than three months.

Three months is only an inch in the long life of a fairy.What did Long Xiao experience during the three months in prison, and why did Yin Chi let him back?

Suddenly, Fu Ziqiu felt a little sullen for no reason.Inexplicably, Long Xiao's face appeared in his mind, pale and weak, curled up on the bed.

At this time, someone came over, hugged Long Xiaolian and the quilt into his arms, gently lifted his face, and kissed the corner of the white paper-like lips.

The man just hugged Long Xiao all night, and when he was about to wake up, he carefully put him back on the bed.

what is this?

Fu Ziqiu was surprised by his amazing imagination, because Long Xiao could imagine such a big scene in just one sentence?Was he dazed too?

Long Xiao said: "She...is a tester."

"Trial?" The pores of Fu Ziqiu's body were all open, and a chill ran from the soles of his feet to the top of his head: "Trial for what?"

Long Xiao paused, then sighed: "The heart demon."

Fu Ziqiu's eyes widened slightly: "You mean, Yanniang's inner demons were...rehearsed?"

"Otherwise?" Long Xiao asked back: "Throughout the ages, all those who practice immortality and ask questions, how many people have no delusional thoughts, and those who are obsessed with ignorance, how many people have no inner demons. Have you ever heard of someone who can cultivate inner demons for nothing? Entity? If there is no external force to catalyze, how is it possible."

"You..." The person with a difficult voice was replaced by Fu Ziqiu: "You too, yes?"

Long Xiao didn't answer his question, but said: "Yin Chi is very intelligent, and often does what others don't do. He was probably forced out. In order to fight against the Celestial Clan and defeat me, he used a lot of brains. There are countless sorcery, Yin Chi studied day and night, combined various methods, and failed countless times before he got Yanniang."

"However, Yan Niang can't be regarded as a complete success. Although she has cultivated a physical body, her strength is insufficient. It may also be because her main body has low spiritual power. Moreover, she is obsessed with Yin Chi too much, and the demons that she differentiated are full of love and love. .In short, at the beginning, she was just a defective product."

"The time when she really showed her strength was after Yin Chi's death. She witnessed Yin Chi's decapitated body, which catalyzed the demonic energy in her body. I took thirteen generals of the Celestial Clan to intercept her, and finally came back Yes, it's just me."

Long Xiao faced the windy window and closed his eyes.

Her long hair fluttered gently behind her, looking a little lonely.At that moment, Fu Ziqiu felt a different emotion from him.

He is experiencing a kind of loneliness.

The so-called loneliness of the strong.

"You failed to destroy her."

"Yes, I don't." Long Xiao said, "Do you believe that there are things in this world that cannot be destroyed?"

"She is powerful?"

Long Xiao shook his head: "It's just one aspect, more of it is helpless. It's pure and helpless."

Looking back after a long time, the unbelievable feeling at that time is still very clear.

I can even hear the sound of Zhenling passing through Yanniang's heart, "puchi", I can't remember how many times I stabbed it, anyway, there is a hole in the chest, and my heart has been smashed, but Yanniang is not dead.

That was the first time in Long Xiao's memory that he lost control.

He had never been so crazy before, the hot blood splashed into his eye sockets, dyed those clean and bright eyes red, and hurt him even more.

What happened later, Long Xiao couldn't even remember.By the time he became conscious, he was already lying in the Nine Heavens.

It was Gao Yanru who brought people to rescue him. At that time, the dozen or so generals were almost dead. The corpses were piled up into a human wall, and Long Xiao lay unconscious behind.

"Yin Chi is dead, but the fourth war of gods and demons is not the end. I didn't know until I woke up that Yanniang had reorganized the soldiers and horses of the demon clan and was preparing to avenge Yin Chi."

People's delusion is really a terrible thing, whether it is love or hate, at a certain moment it changes from abstraction to concreteness, and turns into the sharpest sword, indomitable and invincible.

"Half a month, she led people from the devil world to the sixth heaven." Long Xiao said, "It's scary, isn't it? When Yin Chi was here, he could only reach the fourth heaven at most."

Fu Ziqiu responded, "What happened later?"

"Later..." Long Xiao's fingers suddenly tightened: "A lot of people died. The corpses of the heavenly clan, the demon clan, and the sixth heaven were scattered all over the field. Except for a small number of immortals who stayed in the Jiuxiaoyun Temple, those with combat effectiveness They all participated in this war. But almost the entire army was wiped out on both sides. We were a little bit lucky. At that time, Master..." Long Xiao paused, and changed his name: "Yanru and Feng Ya worked together to defeat the demon clan first. The Punishing God Formation bought me time."

"Then you sealed Yanniang at the Rebirth Terrace."

"Well, Yanniang has basically collapsed. Leading people to the sixth heaven is already the limit. She overdraws all the magic energy and completely exhausts herself. If she can't be killed, let her go outside for fear of future troubles. I have to use The blood curse sealed her. Unexpectedly, she can still turn the tide like this."

Long Xiao sighed.

Fu Ziqiu asked: "But what you said, why is there no record in the history books?"

"I ordered it not to be included in the book. Too many people died, and the entire heaven was basically exchanged for blood. What do you write about this kind of thing to show future generations how miserable we are?" Long Xiao sneered: "What's more, the heart One demon is enough to scare you. At that time, the Three Realms were unstable, so why keep a knot in your heart, and worry every day if there will be another one? The people's hearts are stable, and the world can be stable."

So Long Xiao ordered to strictly guard against this matter, so that those who survived should not reveal half a word about the troubles caused by their inner demons.People who didn't know the truth thought it was just the demons coming again, and both sides suffered a lot of losses, but they didn't know anything about the existence of the demons.The crisis was finally resolved. Although there were heavy casualties, it gave Long Xiao an opportunity to re-divide the three realms and six realms.

This is what he has always wanted to do. He advocated being born with a soul and when all beings are equal, but he paid bloody hands for this ideal.

Before sealing Yanniang, Long Xiao's situation was already very bad. He was afraid that he would not be able to hold on, so he was even more anxious to reorganize the Three Realms.

"Then..." Fu Ziqiu bit his lip and asked hesitantly, "What about your inner demon..."

This is a topic that Long Xiao has always avoided. Although he narrated Yan Niang's story as completely as possible, it is easy to see the clue of this bright line, which was deliberately hidden by the master.

Yanniang said that before Long Xiao sealed her, he once said that "time is running out".

What does this "not much time" refer to, that he had already planned to use himself to seal the demon?or something else?Long Xiao didn't mention it, not even how his inner demons came about.

But Fu Ziqiu probably guessed something, since Yan Niang was Yin Chi's experimental product, then Yin Chi probably created Long Xiao's inner demons, and it was during the three months when he was imprisoned.

Long Xiao seemed to be tired, pinched his shoulders and turned his neck, but still refused to answer.

"Let's stop here today." Long Xiao turned his head, the loneliness, loneliness and helplessness that had been lingering on him from the beginning to the end of this memory, all disappeared the moment he smiled: "To make up for your historical knowledge , are you convinced?"

Fu Ziqiu was startled, remembering to have fun with Gu Zhizhou in Qinghuanzhou.

"Actually, you don't need to look at these, they are all here, just ask me."

"Why is the face so big!"

"Hey, seriously, how about I tell you something?"

"Okay, just talk about Yin Chi, I can watch it, call me brother if you make a mistake!"

Probably thinking of the same thing, Long Xiao and Fu Ziqiu both paused, looking a little uncomfortable.

Long Xiao recovered first, stood up, and relaxed lying on the window sill.In fact, he seldom has such a relaxed time. It is probably because these old things that are not in the books have been held in his heart for too long, and now he feels quite a sense of bitterness.Although it was half-hidden by him, and a lot of hidden beard and tail were omitted, I just felt happy.

What's more, Fu Ziqiu was a quiet listener all afternoon, and he didn't change his ways to make him feel uncomfortable.

This made him very comfortable, and even the pain on his body was relieved a lot.

Long Xiao stretched out his hand out of the window, and the fluttering snowflakes fell on his palm.

But what if the only way to get along in harmony is by telling stories, he doesn't have so many stories.

Long Xiao began to worry again.

Fu Ziqiu looked at the back, and it was hard to imagine that he would sit in the same room with the former God of War, chatting by the fire and enjoying the snow.

It was even harder to imagine that this person had the same face as Gu Zhizhou.

That Gu Zhizhou who couldn't read well, and the god of war who was well educated in front of him.

Fu Ziqiu got up from the ground, put two logs into the fire with a cold face.