Net king's heart, pupil light and shadow

In fact, even if Youtong has let go of participating in the competition, as Shimizu said, everything is unknown if the notification does not come down, so during this time, she is still obediently serving as a partner and a good student.But for the first time, she found that this good student was too outstanding, and she knew it when she mentioned it. In the eyes of others, this may be a gratifying thing, but in the eyes of Youtong, it is not a good thing.

This cognition came from one afternoon when she found Kitahara Masa and the boy who accompanied her at the summer festival in school one afternoon. As for the name, she couldn't remember.At that time, she only thought that leaving as soon as possible was the best policy, so she hid herself like a thief. She was not noticed by others because of her inconspicuous appearance, and then she took a free time to evacuate from the school quickly.

Here's the thing.

After school that day, she wanted to go to the club activity room to do her homework, so she walked on the corridor on the second floor of the teaching building with her schoolbag in her hand. She just glanced at the school gate inadvertently, just in time to see a school uniform different from that of Lihai University. On campus, the males seem to have met somewhere, and the females look a little familiar. If you take a closer look, you can see that they are acquaintances.She was stunned for a moment, and then she wailed in her heart, Mom! ! !The ghosts linger! ! !She instantly thought that it was the sequelae of that quiz contest, it was over, it was over, something happened.

She changed course immediately.This route change was very wise. In the process of changing the route, she heard some people's words.

Kitahara Ya casually asked someone if he knew Yijiyuan Youtong?Which class is it from?where will she be now

Passerby A: "There is no such person in our grade."

Passer-by B: "That's a second-year senior. She's very good at studying and always takes first place."

Passerby C: "She is a member of the Learning and Thinking Department. I always see her in club activities, but the senior sister doesn't like to talk."

Youtong felt a little headache, her usual demeanor was revealed by the juniors.

Girl A looked at the questioner suspiciously: "Who are you and why are you looking for her?"

Kitahara smiled and said, "I'm her friend."

Girl B: "Oh my God, Ijuin still has friends?!"

Girl C: "Don't talk nonsense. We are not in the same class as her. She is in class A. Now that get out of class is over, you can only go to the club to see."

Afterwards, the three girls walked away, and girl A was still puzzled and said disdainfully: "Are you saying that she is talking nonsense? With the virtue of Yijiyuan, can you still have friends?"

You Tong hid elsewhere, and didn't see that Bei Yuanya, who was facing her back, frowned faintly after hearing this, and said with emotion: No matter how bad my morals are, I won't speak ill of others behind my back.

Later, when she saw Bei Yuanya stepping into the club activity center, she walked towards the gate without looking back.

Going home at night, Youtong is always restless, so much so that after dinner, he wanders around the living room, Haoyi watches her go left and right in the room, and remembers that when he was making dinner just now, he often loses his mind , I really couldn't see it anymore, "Sister, don't turn around!"

Seeing his sister stop walking, looking at him with dark blue eyes in confusion, Haoyi asked again: "What's wrong with you today?"

Youtong moved to the side of the sofa, sat down discouraged, and beckoned to her younger brother to let him sit down too. When Hao sat down, she said in a low voice, "I saw Xiaoya again today, at school."

Hao Yi was stunned. He knew that his sister had just seen her a few days ago, but he didn't expect to see her again after a few days, and it was still on the campus of Lihai University.Over the years, my sister has been avoiding her original friends, not only from those who hurt her, but also to avoid secondary harm caused by the exchange of news.My sister can survive once and try to stand up, but it is impossible to bear the second time.My sister has been a cautious person since she was a child. In order to avoid possible mistakes and injuries, her usual practice is to cut off all possible problems that may cause problems, and never leave any hidden dangers.In fact, he sometimes thinks that this approach is a bit extreme, and it is easy to trap himself in it, but he can't help it, because he can't think of a better way.Hao Yi scratched his hair, "Did she see you?"

Youtong shook her head and sighed: "If she always comes, it will be a matter of time before we see her."

"Are you afraid, or simply don't want to?"

"I don't want to..." She wasn't sure either.

"It's useless if you don't want to. I think you'd better think about how to say it if you see it."

Youtong coaxed his younger brother back to the room, and sat alone in the living room for a while.Now she has nowhere to hide, and she is the one who reported herself. Even if Bei Yuanya is not present, she will still be noticed by people watching the TV show. The current plan is to face it calmly. However, facing it calmly is easier said than done.

Unknowingly dazed, unknowingly getting up, unknowingly going upstairs, just up two steps, was attracted by the unexpected white door, and unknowingly retreated, she hadn't paid attention to the music at home for several days. room.Standing outside the door, she was confused.After the accident, she has been sad, resentful, unwilling, and fearful here. Every time when her family is away, she will remember the past and pay homage to the past alone in the music room with only dim wall lamps on. She has never touched the dusty violin again. the piano case, and did not touch the velvet that covers the grand piano.

Unknowingly, he had already entered the music room, closed the door of the music room with the memory of his body, and turned on the dimly glowing wall lamp.This time, instead of sitting against the wall, she approached the covered piano, stood silently aside, slowly stretched out her left hand, and retracted it when she was about to lift the flannelette.Because she was born left-handed, no matter what she does, she always stretches out her left hand first, and uses her left hand to hold the violin. .After a while, she stretched out her hand again, gently placed it on the flannel, and rubbed it back and forth a few times.For two years, she didn't have the courage to touch, and today, she won psychologically.I used to feel sad when I saw this, but today it seems to be peaceful.

Youtong felt very inexplicable and confused, what happened to me?Why don't you feel sad or entangled?

The spacious music room seemed extremely narrow due to the darkness. She walked to the darkest place based on her memory and perception. There was originally a large floor-to-ceiling window, but it was completely covered by two thick blackout curtains. not come out.Walking to the floor-to-ceiling windows, she suddenly opened the two curtains with both hands, and the vacated gap just accommodated her figure.In the night sky, the full moon is soft and the stars are dotted. The silver brilliance shines into the music room through the glass window, and the figure is elongated and projected on the floor.

I used to have obsessions in my heart. Since I moved, this music room has never seen natural light, and the family members have never forced her, let alone touch her heartache easily, so this place has always been a forbidden area, with the doors and windows closed, and the darkness is endless. Light, like the cemetery of musical instruments.

Tonight, the music room was sprinkled with moonlight for the first time, and the dark blue eyes looked at the vault for a long, long time.Withdrawing his gaze, he closed the curtains again, turned and walked towards the door of the music room, turned off the wall lamp, and left.

It was already late when she returned to the room, but she couldn't fall asleep, so she got up from the bed and turned on the computer casually.Wandering aimlessly on the forum, she found that it was boring to have no acquaintances. She couldn't understand what kind of mood she was in now. Why was she no longer excited when facing the music room and musical instruments? Did she not like it anymore?No, if there is no problem with her hands, she still wants to play.Are you not angry or not caring?Not right, imagine that if that person stood in front of her, she would still be annoyed.But why is it abnormal tonight?It's not that she has nothing to do to make herself unhappy, she has to stubbornly maintain the same mentality as before, she just wants to figure out why it is now.She couldn't figure it out, if mom and dad were at home, she could ask and check the time, she couldn't drag her brother up, right? Although he was more stable and mature than his peers, he was still a primary school student and there was no hope at all.

Resting her chin and thinking hard, the computer beeped, and her friend went online. She took a closer look and saw that it was Xin Qing. It had been a while since she had gone online.He hurriedly said hello, but he didn't expect the other party to send it faster: Oh, Tongtong is still awake so late?

Bright and dark pupils: Don’t you too?I haven't seen you for a long time. What are you up to now?

Xin Qing: The teacher asked me to participate in the painting competition. I have been thinking about it, and I don’t have the mind to surf the Internet. In fact, I don’t like competitions. There are too many rules and regulations. I prefer to paint as I like.But since you decide to participate, let's deal with it practically.

Bright and dark pupils: You have come here, so let it be.

Xin Qing: Otherwise, what should I do?The school needs grades, and the teacher needs performance. As for me, I also have to cooperate in a timely manner, which will help my future studies.

Youtong naturally understands this truth, if she can continue her music journey, she will probably do the same.Suddenly felt that it was too late for Xin Qing to come up, and hurriedly asked: I have a question for you.

Xin Qing: Huh?

Bright and dark eyes: A used to have a good skill, B was very jealous, by chance, B intentionally disabled A, and could no longer show his skills, A was very painful and very angry, because A thought it was all his After that, he didn't even dare to look at the crafting tools, let alone touch them again, and he trembled with anger just thinking about them.After a long time, when A saw the crafting tools again, his mind was calm. Why do you think this is?

Xin·qing was a little dizzy on the computer side, but she had just put down her paintbrush and browsed the Internet, and she felt dizzy about this problem for a while... In the middle of the night, her brain was spinning slowly, but the light and dark pupils returned to her A complicated logic problem occurred, and she was about to burst into tears.But because I rarely see netizens asking questions, and I rarely see scene questions, it’s okay to think about it occasionally.After a while, she wrote: Has that anger faded over time?

Bright and dark pupils: Probably not, thinking of that person is still unforgivable.

After a while, Xin Qing wrote: I guess, maybe those tools are no longer the whole of his life now, and there are other things to fill the gap.Just like I paint, I don’t necessarily only use blue paint to paint the sky. If the blue is lost, there are also red, purple, yellow, gray or other colors to replace it. In this way, different scenery can be painted. It must be worse than blue, and sometimes even more appropriate and appropriate.

You Tong was stunned.Fill in the blanks?Replace the original color?So what is she replacing now?Is it because she is studying hard and absorbing knowledge, or because she has been positive recently and chooses to participate bravely.Perhaps Xin Qing mentioned a point she had never thought of. She was surprised and a little unacceptable at the same time. She always insisted that music is irreplaceable in her heart, but it was suddenly replaced. Perception of wasting time.The obsession in the heart has not been eliminated, and the hope that those things that have been abandoned may have been destroyed may have been replaced.

Because Xin Qing was too sleepy, she said good night and went offline.

Youtong turned off the computer and lay down again. She was so sad that she found that she couldn't fall asleep anymore... She has been struggling with what music is to her, and why it was replaced. The hobby specialty that she has persisted for eight or nine years has been lost overnight. Not to mention the destruction, it was replaced by other things in just two years.Is she careless, or is she careless?

Lying on the bed and wrestling with myself for a long time, I suddenly realized that I was looking behind me. I actually looked behind me when I had to think about the way ahead. I felt more and more that I was not short-sighted, but honest. .

Kitahara Ya.

Youtong knows that the time to face her will come soon, and the time when the old people get together is also approaching her. When and where is unpredictable, the only thing she can do is to find her true self in the limited time and face up to the truth bravely. For the worst possible scenario.Suddenly thinking of Shiraishi Uman, facing the 20-person group of Kanako Yagyu alone, she can calmly face it, and she can be tolerant afterwards, without giving up. This kind of composure is absolutely extraordinary. .She really wanted to know how Baishi Yuman did it, and why she could see it openly.It would be great if I could get to know her.

The author has something to say: just take a day off, there is still a lot to write, and I will go to work tomorrow, so I will post it anyway tonight!