Xiaoman

After going out from the stairwell, Liu Xiaoman did not return to the ward.

Xia Liang went to look for him in the ward, went to the corner of the corridor where they always huddled together to talk and make problems during the Chinese New Year, went to the hospital cafeteria, went to the water room, there were so many people on the road, everyone passed him in a hurry, every day Everyone is not Liu Xiaoman.

The bakery's phone kept ringing. After he got through, he just said "no more" and then hung up, and then kept calling Liu Xiaoman.

I kept calling, but no one answered.

The first two were hung up, and the third one turned off the phone.

Xia Liang took a taxi to Liu Xiaoman's house.

There was no one at Liu Xiaoman's house, and the double doors were closed tightly. I don't know if there was no one there, or Liu Xiaoman was hiding inside and didn't want to see him.

The possibility of being at home was really slim, Xia Liang went to the hospital again.

On the way, he repeatedly called the number that was turned off, dialed, turned off the phone, hung up, and called again.

I don't know how many times I repeated it, and when the cold mechanical sound finally stopped, Xia Liang was so excited that he almost hung up and redialed. "Little Liu—"

"Liangliang." Grandpa's voice came from the phone.

Xia Liang was stunned.

"The kid just came to give me this mobile phone, saying that you left it with him." Grandpa said.

Xia Liang looked at the frame-by-frame street scene outside the car window, and lost all his strength in running around on his legs for a long time. His breathing suddenly became hot, and he fell down and felt cold.

"Throw it away." After a while, he struggled to squeeze out three words from his voice, then hung up the phone, leaned back on the back seat of the car and closed his eyes.

Liu Xiaoman.

He couldn't help thinking about Liu Xiaoman's back without turning his head.

Don't you feel pain?

Liu Xiaoman was dying of pain.

He was sitting in Fan Yiyang's bedroom in a daze. He ran over suddenly with red eyes, which shocked Fan Yiyang's family.

"What's the matter, Xiaoman? Tell auntie, is there something wrong with grandpa?" Fan Yiyang's mother wrung out a hot towel to wipe his face, let Liu Xiaoman sit on the edge of the bed, and she sat in front of Liu Xiaoman with a small stool.

"Uncle will accompany you to the hospital to have a look?" Father Fan also asked him.

Liu Xiaoman just shook his head, saying that grandpa is fine, it's fine.

"What's the matter? You came here crying, there must be something wrong," Fan's mother frowned, and spoke cautiously, "You have to tell auntie, auntie can help you, right?"

"Xiaoman?" Fan Yiyang poured him a cup of warm water.

"I..." Liu Xiaoman opened his mouth, tears came down again, "I didn't pass the exam."

"Oh, you child," Mother Fan breathed a sigh of relief, patted him and stood up, and looked at Father Fan, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, "You scared me to death!"

"What do I care about?" Father Fan smiled, and rubbed Liu Xiaoman's head, "If you didn't pass the exam, you came to find Brother Yangyang, and you found the right one. He will take the exam, and everything else except the exam..."

"Okay Dad." Fan Yiyang interrupted them and pushed them away, "I told him, what should you do."

"Then I'll cook. Xiaoman will chat with you, brother Yangyang, and have dinner at home." Mother Fan told him.

Fan Yiyang closed the door, sat down on the small stool, and looked at Liu Xiaoman for a long time.

"Is it really because of the exam?" He wiped away the tears from Liu Xiaoman's face and asked softly.

Liu Xiaoman turned his head away, he was choked by his swollen throat, he couldn't speak, he didn't have any strength in his body, his heart was pinched and twisted, he was trembling with gasping, only tears were endless Falling down without a trace.

"I'm so uncomfortable." After choking for a long time, he only said this sentence.

Fan Yiyang's face moved.

"I'm so uncomfortable..." Liu Xiaoman lowered his head and buried his face in his knees, and Fan Yiyang let out an "ah" from his trachea as if he was out of breath.

On the last day of the Ching Ming holiday, Xia Liang was dragged out by Luo Hao and the others.

"We won't see each other after the college entrance examination. Auntie, we'll be back after we have a meal!" Guo Wei was in charge of borrowing someone from Xia Liang's mother.

Mom didn't refuse, everyone blocked the door, and there was no reason to refuse, she just told Xia Liang to come back early in the evening since school starts tomorrow.

Xia Liang stayed at home for a day and two nights. He was really a nest. He threw himself on the bed as soon as he got home like a dead body. He didn't want to turn on the lights, talk, drink water, eat, or look at his phone.

If it wasn't for being unable to urinate on the bed, he wouldn't even be able to get out of the bed.

boring.

Luo Hao and the others forcibly dragged him out after washing and changing his clothes. As soon as the sun was shining, he felt that he had changed from a half-drawn corpse to a walking dead suddenly exposed to the sun. He would appear in a few steps, the kind with smoke coming out of his head.

"Can you do it, my brother?" Gao Yuxiang was stunned when he saw him. He called a car halfway and sat down to meet him. "I haven't seen you for a month. What happened to you... Are you out of your mind?"

Xia Liang saw that before he was about to speak, Luo Hao pushed him into the back seat with a "fuck", and pulled his head to look at the back of his ear.

"Get lost." Xia Liang was not in the mood to argue with him, and only frowned.

Luo Hao sat back, took a bottle of sports drink from his bag and handed it to Xia Liang: "This movement... You chewed a cigarette like a biscuit?"

"Your uncle, when I first came on the way, I said I was thirsty and didn't see you hand it to me." Fangzheng raised his foot and kicked, Xia Liang unscrewed the lid and took two gulps, then threw the water bottle to him.

"Xia Liang, you're wrong." Guo Wei came up last, leaning his elbows on his knees to look at Xia Liang, "Why did you transfer to another school and really focus on your studies?"

"If you move again, why don't you just sit on my face." Fangzheng pushed Guo Wei back with his arms crossed, and took out his phone to reply to his girlfriend.

"It's useless for you to pester him, you stand back a little." Luo Hao moved his butt.

"Well, I'm going to have dinner with my buddies, Brother Liang, I'll bring you delicious food tonight..." Fangzheng was so crowded that he sent it without saying a word, and he started to squirm with a sound of "Damn", "Squeeze all the eggs for me." Shrunk!"

"You two go forward and the other go back!" Gao Yuxiang directed from the front.

"Oh, if you say there are five people, I won't come here." The driver also began to complain.

The demons were chattering and dancing in the car, Xia Liang's head was pressed against the car window, and he didn't want to move.

It's not because of the pain, the pain that I've been pulling out the most has already been laid down two days ago, in this kind of environment, it's hard to relive the pain of that intensity.

It might be more accurate to say the seal.

He now feels that he just forgot where he saw a stupid picture - a human-shaped shell, 70.00% of which is blue water.

If you move less and talk less, you don’t need to exercise energy, and if you don’t exercise energy, the 70.00% in your body will be calm.

Otherwise, it would be wobbly, and every drop of water that swayed would contain the scene when Liu Xiaoman broke up with him, and the phone that grandpa said to return.

"Xia Liang, what's the matter with you? You didn't even fart for a long time." Luo Hao protected the territory of his butt without giving up, and forced to care, "Wow, I really can't talk to you who love to study, now You are a full-fledged disabled person, you can’t even shout out in the group, don’t call your name Xia Liang, go and change your name to Xia Daman!”

"Oh no," Guo Wei reacted against the car door, "You won't spend your birthday with Liu Xiaoman, will you?"

"Really?" Fangzheng was shocked, "What's the point of me abandoning my partner to give you a new life? Brother Liang, do you have the heart?"

When Xia Liang heard the words "little disability", his brain began to burn slowly.

"Stop." He looked up from the car window with an annoyed look on his face.

The driver glanced at him in the rearview mirror, and slowly stopped the car on the side of the road.

Xia Liang opened the car door and went down, opened the door of the co-driver amid Luo Hao's staring "Fuck?", and said to Gao Yuxiang, "Change the seat."

"Damn, just say it!" Gao Yuxiang immediately got off the passenger seat and punched Xia Liang on the shoulder, "I'm ready to jump out of the car and play street tracking with you."

Xia Liang felt that he might really be in a trance, "Little Disabled" and "Liu Xiaoman" echoed in his ears, and the water splashed in his body "Let's separate", he didn't realize what the movement process was, and his eyes were " With a bang, it slammed heavily on the door frame.

He covered his eyes full of black stars and squatted down on the curb.

Brother Liang, let's separate.

Let's separate, Brother Liang.

"Damn it! You are fucking stupid!" Luo Hao was about to stand up in the car, and bumped his head with excitement, "You stooped when you got in the car! You thought you were a Maoshan Taoist!"

"How could it still hit... Where did it hit?" The driver also hurriedly leaned over here and asked.

Listening to their voices, Xia Liang was still repeating the scenes of that day in his mind strangely, and the voices gradually merged into a line.

Liu Xiaoman said Brother Liang, let's separate.

Liu Xiaoman said it hurts.

Liu Xiaoman's tears fell on his hand, he hurriedly let go of Liu Xiaoman's hand.

Liu Xiaoman couldn't hold onto his empty sleeves.

"The kid just came to give me this mobile phone, saying that you left it with him."

……

"It's okay, fuck me," Gao Yuxiang knelt down to meet his eyes, and asked anxiously, "How do you feel?"

A warm liquid spread densely and moistly between the fingers. He didn't know whether it was blood, water or sweat, but he couldn't feel it.

Xia Liang's eyes are numb now, his brain, heart, body, including thinking are all numb, and his whole body is inexplicably calm.

He used to think those half-dead people who broke up on TV were funny, but it turned out that it was his turn, and he was more funny than anyone else.

"It hurts." He answered Gao Yuxiang calmly, even his throat was numb.

Liu Xiaoman did not know until nearly a month later that the day he broke up with Xia Liangti was Xia Liang's birthday.

In the past few days, he was out of his mind, and after crying at Fan Yiyang's house, he still wiped his eyes and said nothing.

When I went back to the hospital and saw Aunt Mei and Grandpa again, I didn't say anything, as if nothing happened, I just went out to use the toilet.

Aunt Mei hesitated to speak for a while, but finally she didn't take the initiative to ask more questions.Cancan saw that he had cried, and pointed to Liu Xiaoman's eyes and turned to Aunt Mei and said, "Mom and brother are crying."

Aunt Mei knocked his hand off, talked to him about other topics, and never mentioned "your little friend" to Liu Xiaoman again.

Later, grandpa should go to the rehabilitation center. Liu Yong was consulting with the doctor about transferring to the rehabilitation center, and he followed suit.Knowing that in addition to the refund of medical insurance to let the family breathe, stroke patients can also apply for severe illness, and if they are lucky, they may have the opportunity to receive subsidies, so they ran around with Liu Yong's family and went to apply for his grandfather with proof of documents.

At other times, he attends class and does the questions, filling himself with the questions regardless, preferably without raising his head or thinking about anything.

He can't think about it either.

He had to fill himself up without leaving a single gap, he had to keep walking, he was so tired that he fell asleep every day, so that he could squeeze Xia Liang out of his mind.

Otherwise, when he thought of Xia Liang, and the bewildered look in his eyes when he was raptured and broke up, he couldn't do anything.

Until that day, when Li Meng took advantage of Wang Chao's absence, he turned his head and asked him in a muttering voice: "Hey Manman, what did you give Xia Liang on his birthday? My Brother Chao's birthday is coming up soon, and all the presents I can think of are so fucking good." ah."

Liu Xiaoman was writing out formulas on the draft paper. Just hearing the word "Xia Liang" made him feel empty, and when he heard "birthday" again, he was stunned.

"What birthday?" He asked Li Meng absently with his eyes open.

"The birthday of Chao Yue Yue." Li Meng was used to him never watching the group, "I..."

"I said Xia Liang's birthday." Liu Xiaoman interrupted him.

"What the hell," Li Meng blinked, "Are you stupid? Didn't I circle you in the group at that time, April Fool's Day, Xia Liang's birthday."

Liu Xiaoman didn't listen to what Li Meng said later.

It's hard to describe what that feels like.

The self-numbing and self-avoidance of so many days before have all come to naught.

Liu Xiaoman repeatedly recalled the scene when he and Xia Liangti broke up like masochistic, every detail is still as clear as it happened yesterday, every expression, tone, dialogue, and movement of Xia Liang are all magnified, reflecting the red The glow of the sunset is intertwined in my mind.

Every time he recalled a little bit, what spread out in his heart was the distress that made his fingertips tingle.

Self-blame, regret, bewildered, sour... Distressed.

It is necessary to strangle the breathing through the mouth, nose and lungs, and poke the lungs to avoid the unavoidable distress.

Liu Xiaoman even felt heart palpitations, he didn't understand that he was going too far with his eyes closed, and wanted to break up with Xia Liang on his birthday.

Why can't it be postponed for a day?Why is it so... selfish?

He forced himself to recover from the excruciating pain of being pierced by the pen tip and nails in his palm, Li Meng was still talking nonstop.

"You and him," Liu Xiaoman interrupted him again, "did you say happy birthday?"

"I said it, of course I said it." Li Meng glanced at him suspiciously, "Isn't it, you didn't even read the news about you? Your former deskmate is too..."

He pointed at the table of Liu Xiaoman and Xia Liang, and used a nondescript idiom that he was quite satisfied with: "People, go, tea, cool!"

After the class bell rang, Liu Xiaoman spent a long time concentrating himself.

He failed.

That class was Guo Dasheng's class. I don't know what he said. The class laughed "buzzingly".

This sentence is like a key, a small memory is lit up, Liu Xiaoman thinks of something, his wrist moves by itself, and he flips forward along the draft book.

No.

He searched in the desk for a long time, took out the last draft paper that had been used up, turned the pages from the end to the beginning, and finally saw the conversation he was looking for on a certain page.