Xiaoman

On the afternoon of the 29th, Liu Xiaoman was doing his homework in his grandfather's room.

The noisy TV outside the door, Cancan's self-entertaining noise, the ding-dong sound of pots and pans in the kitchen where Aunt Mei is frying things to prepare for the New Year, and the sound of grandpa and his dad talking about what they don't know... Many voices gathered together, rolled into a thick hemp rope, passed from his left ear to his right ear, and then rubbed back from his right ear to his left ear.

He has the perseverance to learn in any environment, but these days, it has become more and more difficult to persist in this kind of perseverance.

Every day was noisier than the first day, and the three of them lived in his and grandpa's house, and each day was more natural and less polite than the first day.

This morning, his father was already able to rummaging through boxes and chests in the kitchen to find something to eat. He took out a big bowl of canned food and rice wine made by his grandfather, and ate it with Cancan.

Grandpa didn't say anything when he saw it, and he couldn't refuse to eat it.It's just that Liu Xiaoman felt distressed. Usually, their grandparents and grandchildren were reluctant to eat these, and they had to pretend to give them away when necessary.

But there are some better aspects. Although Aunt Mei loves to bluff and speak in a hurry, she has a little bit of "outsider" self-consciousness.

Liu Xiaoman felt a little selfish. On the one hand, he thought they were annoying, but on the other hand, he felt that his grandfather could rest more or less, so he treated Aunt Mei more politely.

What I hate the most is Cancan.

Rummaging things, screaming, running around in each room, making noise during the day and crying at night, especially likes to do something when Liu Xiaoman wants to stay by himself for a while, to attract his attention.

Liu Xiaoman was embarrassed to lock the door, but if Cancan couldn't unscrew it, he would keep twisting it.In any case, they have already moved in, and Grandpa's attitude is already quite obvious. As a grandson, it's hard for him to act like he doesn't want to be seen.

It's just that he is really confused, why can a child have such a great interest in a person who is obviously not interested in him?

Liu Xiaoman really has no experience with children. His family has no relatives, and the only relatives of the previous generation are far away, and they have stopped moving around for a long time.After all, moving around requires each other, and he and grandpa don't have extra expenses to pay for these walking costs, so naturally they won't come.

So he really didn't know if all the kids were so unattractive, or only Cancan.

Thinking about it, Liu Xiaoman sighed, maybe because of a cold, his resistance was lowered, and even his mind became weak.

Lying on his arms with his head in confusion for a while, he looked at the closed door and found Xia Liang's cell phone and earphones.

Originally, he just wanted to listen to music with headphones on, but as soon as he turned on the screen, his hand involuntarily clicked on Xia Liang's WeChat.

After they separated that day, the two didn't see each other again. They only chatted secretly on WeChat. I didn't dare to say more.

He really prefers that there is no holiday now, and he can still go to class every day. It is very comfortable to sit with Xia Liang in the classroom and do nothing.

Now looking at the chat records with Xia Liang, he couldn't hold back and typed two words: Brother Liang

Xia Liang didn't reply, Liu Xiaoman plugged in the earphones, clicked on the app with "Music" in its name, fumbled to play a playlist that "relaxed you physically and mentally".

When the music sounded, he felt a sense of relief in his whole body.

No wonder it is said that music is a good friend of human beings. At this time, being able to isolate the outside sound and immerse yourself in your own world really purifies the soul.

The song is in English, with a sense of rhythm in the soothing, the first round is quite comfortable to listen to, but a little drowsy.

can not sleep.

He shook his head, picked up his pen and continued to work on the problem.

He actually kind of wanted to hear the song Xia Liang put earphones in his ears for the first time, but he didn't know the name and couldn't find it.

He was startled when the music was suddenly interrupted by the sound of "ding ding dong dong". The sound suddenly became loud for some reason.

Liu Xiaoman hurriedly put down the pen to adjust the volume, but when he picked up the phone, he realized that the picture on the screen had changed. Xia Liang's profile picture and name were prompting him whether to connect to the video conversation.

video?

He took the phone closer, hesitated for a moment, and quickly clicked "Agree".

Xia Liang's face appeared on the phone, and when he saw him connected, he smiled and said "Hey": "I was shocked, you have big eyes."

Liu Xiaoman was in such a good mood for a moment, his eyes and the corners of his mouth curled up.

"Stand back, the phone is leaning against something on the table," Xia Liang said, "I want to see your face."

Liu Xiaoman put his phone next to the book, only to realize that he could see his face in the upper right corner.

"I lost weight." Xia Liang stared at him for a while and said.

Liu Xiaoman touched his face, it was okay, he didn't think he was thin, maybe he looked narrower on his phone.

But when he took a closer look at Xia Liang, he was not narrow, he was still so good-looking.

"I just thought you couldn't talk, so I hung up a video," Xia Liang said, "I said you just listen."

Liu Xiaoman nodded, he looked at Xia Liang's background, it should be on the small sofa in his room.

"How are you? These few days." Xia Liang continued.

Liu Xiaoman looked at him, wondering if he should shake his head.

not good.

Not good at all.

It sucks.

But he didn't want to talk about it as soon as he called, as if he was in a lot of situations.And being able to see Xia Liang's face, the happiness brought by this incident immediately offset more than half of the badness.

He nodded.

Xia Liang didn't need him to admit that it wasn't much better, there must be a lot of situations.But Liu Xiaoman didn't want to express it, so he didn't expose it, and changed the subject: "Miss me?"

This question is easier to answer than the previous one.

Liu Xiaoman might not be ashamed to admit that he had to face to face or send a message.In the video, he was thick-skinned for some reason, so he nodded without hesitation.

Xia Liang laughed.

"When I saw you send me a message, I knew you missed me," Xia Liang said, looked under the camera, stretched out his hand and stroked something twice, "I just went out to help carry the New Year's goods."

Liu Xiaoman wrote "Mom?" on the draft paper and held it up.

Xia Liang's eyes were bent: "It's too self-conscious, shouldn't you call me auntie?"

Liu Xiaoman put the paper on the table.

"Yes." Xia Liang finally agreed, "She doesn't know why she is so idle these days, she has been staring at me at home."

And the mood swings are huge.

Xia Liang didn't say this.

He felt that it should have something to do with his father coming back tomorrow. His mother was a little nervous, and she was normal when she was normal. If something made her unhappy, she would turn her face immediately.

For example, grandpa still goes fishing on the first day of the new year, or every time Xia Liang wants to go out.

To put it aside, Xia Liang doesn't care about her at ordinary times, the New Year is coming soon, and he is still in front of his grandfather, he doesn't want to make the relationship between mother and child too unpleasant.

Another crucial point was that he always felt that her mother knew something about him and Liu Xiaoman.

It may have something to do with the fact that after sending Liu Xiaoman back that day, he went out from the alley and met his mother at the door of the house.

He always felt that the way his mother looked at him was a little strange.

"During the Chinese New Year, don't make your family angry," Liu Xiaoman wrote quickly.

Xia Liang took a look, didn't continue to talk about himself, and then asked Liu Xiaoman: "How will your family live tomorrow, will the three of you be able to leave after the New Year?"

It's choking.

Liu Xiaoman shook his head.

Although there are only him and his grandfather during the Chinese New Year, he doesn't like winter, and he doesn't like the loss of health caused by the change of age, but when it comes to the end of the year, the atmosphere should still be there, and there should be joy.

This year, no matter what, I can't be happy.

Don't talk about joy, it's not bad if you don't cry.

The two were "talking" and the camera on Xia Liang's side shook, as if something was about to jump up.

Then, under the camera appeared a front paw that Xiaoguo was randomly pulling, and a big face that was stuck firmly on the camera.

"I really want to come up and see who I'm talking to." Xia Liang said with a smile, poking Xiao Guo's head twice.

Xiaoguo curled up on the heels of his legs twice, trying to get down on the ground, Xia Liang put one leg up and stepped on the edge of the sofa, and leaned back so that it could lie comfortably between his legs.

As expected, Xiaoguo got down on the ground, and continued to stare at the camera with his hands in his hands.

Liu Xiaoman couldn't help but wonder if Xia Liang was raped?

He glanced at it.

It's all Xia Liang's fault.

A pair of Shang Xialiang, the mind automatically becomes unhealthy.

"What should I do?" Xia Liang's voice brought back his unhealthy thoughts.

He was leaning on the sofa, holding the phone with one hand on his bent knee, and the other hand casually stroking Xiaoguo's hair, looking back at him slightly: "I want to hug you."

Liu Xiaoman and him looked at each other through the video, from the top of the sky to the bottom of the heart, the whole person was confused.

I want, too.

He couldn't speak, he could only droop the corners of his eyes with a blushing face.

Still wanting to continue talking, Liu Xiaoman keenly caught the sound of the doorknob being turned through the earphones, and he buckled his phone into his homework in a little panic.While taking off the earphones, Xia Liang's mother seemed to call "Xia Liang" on the other end.

The chaotic sounds outside filled his ears again, he turned his face to look, it was not grandpa who opened the door, Cancan hung his hands on the doorknob like a monkey, showing half of his face to look at him .

always like this.

Liu Xiaoman was almost helpless.

The adults outside the door didn't seem to notice what Cancan was doing, they were still busy with their own business, Liu Xiaoman looked at him for a while, seeing that he didn't intend to go out consciously, stood up and prepared to close the door.

From standing up to walking over, Cancan was hanging on the door and staring at his empty sleeve. Liu Xiaoman was standing in front of the door, and just about to shake the handle, he asked crisply: "Why do you only an arm?"

Liu Xiaoman's outstretched fingers curled up as if they were stung.

He has not heard such a straightforward question for many, many years.

It became very quiet inside and outside the house for a moment.

Aunt Mei rushed out from the kitchen, holding a large colander in her hand, her eyes were wide open, her facial features looked a bit hideous, and she roared, "Cancan!"

Cancan fell off the doorknob, and sat on the ground with her buttocks on the ground. She couldn't understand how her words caused such a big reaction, so she blinked and was a little dazed.

"Get him there!" Xiao Man's father also roared, and patted the table.

Cancan was frightened, and began to cry again with her mouth deflated. Aunt Mei came over and pulled the straps of his cotton trousers, picked him up, and held the colander in the other hand and took it to the door: "Xiao Man, you Learn from you, Auntie won't let him bother you."

The door was slammed shut in front of him, Liu Xiaoman stood there, outside the door was Aunt Mei's slap on the child, the sound of crying, his father's growling impatiently, and grandpa's coughing.

The side across the door is me.

A handicapped man with only one arm, like an outsider, like a shady burden, like a time mine—a landmine that can detonate a whole room when you step on it.

He didn't know what he was thinking, his mind was sluggish with a cold.In the white noise, Cancan's phrase "Why do you only have one arm", mixed with the noise outside, echoed constantly.

Why do you only have one arm.

Why do you only have one arm.

Why do you only have one arm.

Yes, he wanted to know too.

Try to make yourself calm, try not to feel inferior, try to believe that as long as you work hard, you can be like other people, live upright without being viewed by others, and try to let yourself accept the flawed self.

He really worked hard, but he also wanted to know.

Why is it him?

Why him, only one arm?

I don't know how long it took, maybe only a dozen seconds, maybe a minute, he sniffed, sat back at the table and took out his phone again.

The video on the screen has been cut off, and in Xia Liang's dialog box, it shows "chat duration 05:36".