Kneel to the white lotus

"Aren't you looking for the answer yourself?"

One sentence from Shen Xuzhi made Anyi Xing speechless...

What can he say?Can you still joke with the ghost and say that he doesn't want to look for it anymore?Well, after all, An Yixing is not comfortable, not mentally retarded enough.

Shen Xuzhi raised his head suddenly, smiled at Anyixing and said: "You want to know about me so much, then you promise me one thing, and I will tell you about me. Not only that, as long as you do this, I will never hurt you again, what do you think?"

Seeing Shen Xuzhi's face, An Yixing was a little surprised.

In his impression, people who jump to their death from a building are never very good-looking. Those whose faces are patted directly into a frying pan are still a little better, and more often their heads are smashed into watermelons, red and white, and flow all over the floor. .

But at this moment, Shen Xuzhi who raised his face looked no different from a normal person.If An Yixing was allowed to judge the cause of Shen Xuzhi's death based on Shen Xuzhi's current appearance, An Yixing would probably think that Shen Xuzhi's death was peaceful.

Shen Xuzhi's appearance belongs to the handsome and clean one.Oval face, straight and straight nose.Although the eyes are single eyelids and the eyes are not too big, they are a pair of smiling eyes, which look very kind and lovely.His lips are thin, but his lips are well-defined and obvious.

There is no doubt that Shen Xuzhi is not really a handsome guy, but he is the type who looks very comfortable.At least after seeing his face, An Yixing felt less afraid of him.

Even if An Yixing doesn't want to admit it, he has to admit that human beings are really the essence of a dog. As long as they are good-looking, they are not so afraid even if the other party is a ghost.

"No problem." Anyi agreed to Shen Xuzhi's conditions without hesitation.

Shen Xuzhi laughed twice, his smiling eyes narrowed: "Don't you even ask me what's the matter?" After speaking, he turned his head to Xiuxiu again: "Do you have any objection?"

"He has the final say." Xiuxiu, who had been watching Shen Xuzhi's movements, replied quickly, with a calm tone.

For a long time, no matter what An Yixing said or what decision he made, Xiuxiu never refuted him, but only silently supported him.An Yixing was aware of these things and was very moved, but now, hearing Xiuxiu calmly say "he has the final say", it is a completely different feeling.

If it is said that Xiuxiu's silent devotion without saying a word made An Yixing feel his gentleness and caring; then what Xiuxiu said this time is tantamount to the great satisfaction of Anyixing's vanity.

Just like smelling the freshness of spicy crayfish is different from tasting crayfish in person; it is also a unique feeling for An Yixing to transform from experience to hearing Xiuxiu’s thoughts with his own ears .

They all say promises, as if there is always room for words before they are spoken, no matter how pious they are, they can go back at any time; but once they speak out, it is difficult to retreat, and there is quite a way to go to the dark. .

"Then you agree?" Shen Xuzhi was not in a hurry, and asked An Yixing again.

"Will you allow me to bargain?" Anyi Xing, who had been a little erratic because of Xiuxiu's words, still reacted quickly.

Shen Xuzhi took a deep look at Anyixing, smiled without answering, and talked about him...

Speaking of which, this is not just the story of Shen Xu alone.Another protagonist in the story, An Yixing and Xiuxiu, also knew each other, and it was Gao Ge, another boy they had posted on the whiteboard.

Because Shen Xuzhi and Gao Ge are neighbors and are about the same age, they have often played in the same cradle since they were born.Later, when the two reached the age of kindergarten, they went to the same kindergarten together; when they arrived at elementary school and junior high school, they went to school together and chose a school together; , They are not only in the same class but also at the front and back desks: even after getting the dormitory key, they found that they are still in the same dormitory.

If it's a man and a woman, they will inevitably be teased by the elders from childhood to adulthood, and in the end, with the help of everyone, they can really make up a good story about childhood sweethearts.Although these two boys were also teased by their elders, everyone knew that it was a joke, and no one mentioned it since they became sensible.

But some things are really predestined by God, even if there are no external factors to fuel the flames, things will proceed according to the original track.Therefore, even if they were not a good couple, they still made up a couple later.

When he first went to high school and lived in school, the sixteen or seventeen-year-old boy was as curious about sex as he wanted. The two little friends rolled together inexplicably after studying it, and later established a relationship naturally.

After that, what should be done and what should not be done, what has been done but never done before, I gave the two of them a try in the small hotel next to the school.

Two people are not very old, but they are also very mature.They know that homosexuality is unacceptable to most people.There are even people who are homophobic and homophobic, so the two never make it public.In front of other people, the distance between Shen Xuzhi and Gao Ge has been kept very appropriate, even the parents who know them best can't see any clues.In the eyes of their classmates, the two of them are good brothers who work together and forge ahead together, and it is absolutely impossible to imagine the tricks between the two of them.

But the world is most afraid of mental arithmetic and unintentional. Shen Xuzhi has been dead for so long, but he has not recalled what sensitive things he did with Gao Ge, which attracted the attention of that person, so that he was targeted by the other party, so that he finally fell into Such a hopeless situation.

That person was Jiang Qiuyu, a weak and affectionate name, and a seemingly weak and affectionate person.

Shen Xuzhi still remembers what a sunny Saturday it was, the sky was blue and the clouds were like snow.In less than three months, the two of them were going to take the college entrance examination. After Shen Xuzhi and Gao Ge came out of school, they went directly to the small hotel next to the school.Maybe it was because it was the last lingering time before the college entrance examination, or maybe it was to vent the pressure of studying. In short, after a lot of rain, the two of them went too far.When Shen Xuzhi walked out from the hotel, he couldn't move forward.

However, something unexpected happened suddenly, which caught Shen Xuzhi and Gao Ge by surprise.

As soon as he stepped out of the hotel, Jiang Qiuyu and several other boys in the class appeared out of nowhere.A dozen or so boys, all staggering like hooligans, stood in twos and threes with their waists pinched, completely blocking the way for the two of them to leave.

Jiang Qiuyu's contemptuous and disgusted eyes were like nails, nailing Shen Xuzhi in place one by one, and he couldn't move: "I'll just say they are gay! This is here to mess around, you still don't believe it!"

The boys pushed and rubbed Shen Xuzhi and Gao Ge, mocking with a playful smile: "Yo? Dude, did you just finish having fun?"

"I heard that the man used that place, which one of you stabbed the other? Or each other?"

"Disgusting or not, I heard something will happen..."

……

Mouth full of obscenities, to the extent that Shen Xuzhi can hardly imagine.Before this, he never knew that a boy of seventeen or eighteen could be so disgusting and cruel, and would do everything he could to hurt irrelevant people.

After hearing this, the irritable Gao Ge got into a fight with a few boys, and Shen Xuzhi, who was afraid of Gao Ge's loss, naturally stepped forward to help.However, two fists are no match for four hands. The boys insulted them with all kinds of obscene words and spit on them at the same time.

Later, someone didn't know who said something, which caused them to rush to take off the clothes of Shen Xuzhi and Gao Ge.

A good student in the eyes of the two teachers and a good boy in the eyes of the parents, the panic and fear shown at this moment greatly pleased the boys brought by Jiang Qiuyu, and gave them a sudden sense of pride.

The more flustered Shen Xuzhi and Gao Ge became, the more they resisted, and the happier they became, the more energetic they became. This bullying and struggling contest continued until Jiang Qiuyu directed the boys to take off Shen Xuzhi's pants.

On the two tender butts/buttocks/petals, the brand-new light blue fingerprints and palm marks were engraved into everyone's eyes like tattoos.

Everyone...except for Jiang Qiuyu, almost froze in place.

Shen Xuzhi only feels that he is naked/naked, wandering from inside to outside, from soul to body, helpless.Someone put him on the planing table, sliced ​​him into slices one by one, and put each slice under the microscope for careful study.

Afterwards, Shen Xuzhi's memory was blurred, he only vaguely remembered that Gao Ge pulled up his trousers and carried him home.

After the anxious weekend passed, Shen Xuzhi and Gao Ge knew that parents might be invited back to school.

Sure enough, the two were called to the teacher's office before self-study on Monday morning.

The usual head teacher's admiring and proud gaze was completely gone, and there was only deep helplessness and disgust hidden in his eyes.

In the following time, Shen Xuzhi's past was too chaotic to remember clearly.

With less than three months left to take the college entrance examination, it is no longer possible to transfer schools.Under the coordination of the parents and teachers of both parties, they changed the dormitory and seats for Shen Xuzhi and Gao Ge, and separated them as much as possible.

However, compared with Shen Xuzhi's subsequent experience, the separation from Gao Ge turned out to be the friendliest thing among them.

Because what Shen Xuzhi faced next was boundless bullying, ridicule and malice.

There are always countless dirty things in the desk: poop, mice, all kinds of insects that Shen Xuzhi has never seen...

When going to the toilet, he was blocked in the toilet to urinate, his pants were stripped off, and he was shrunk in the toilet.

It's not that Shen Xuzhi never mentioned it to his parents, but they only told him to be patient and told him that he could start again after the college entrance examination.He will go to a place where no one knows him, and then he can have a girlfriend and live like a normal person...

Shen Xuzhi, who had been bullied for so long that he was somewhat used to it, listened to his parents' words of enlightenment, and instantly understood what despair is.But what about despair?He is, he has nowhere to go.

However, Shen Xuzhi finally failed to wait for the "new life" described by his parents.

When reminiscing, Shen Xuzhi couldn't even remember the day of the week, he only remembered that the weather was very good that day, just like that Saturday, the sky was bright and the sun was shining brightly.

He was beaten by a group of boys, and he fled to the top of the building. Those people still didn't let him go, poured paint on him, leftovers, and beat him with specially prepared eggs.

Suddenly, Shen Xuzhi woke up and realized that he was not without a way out.

He turned around and jumped down from the top of the building like a free and happy bird.