Stories

is fake! I shouted at him hoarsely: "It's all fake, everything about you is fake, you're not Qi Chu!" "

Qi Chu covered my mouth.

His eyes are like a wilderness that has been burned by fire, a barren land.

"Hush." ​​He nervously stopped me from continuing, and looked into my eyes quietly: "We can start over, you will forget it soon, we can have a new story, we can meet earlier, yes huh? You don't remember anything, it's nice..."

I thought of the drawer in the study, the palm of his hand covering my mouth was hot, but I was like falling into a cave of ice.

"I...I will find you," Tu Yao said weakly, blood gushed out of his body, spreading on the snow like a blooming flower: "I will find you, a thousand times, Ten thousand times, I will find you..."

However, he was unable to continue, because an invisible force struck from the air, his body seemed to be broken, and the light in his eyes dimmed.

Qi Chu laughed, and he looked at me with crazy eyes.

"Look, no matter how many times you start over, I'm always the strongest one, don't you understand, this is your world, and I'm the strongest..."

His laughter stopped abruptly.Because I stabbed a table knife straight into his chest.

He lowered his head and looked at the wound on his chest, his eyes were a little sad and a little unbelievable.

No blood came out.

He pulled out the knife, and the wound healed, but his expression was painful.

"You hate me, don't you?" He looked at me, eyes like wilderness burned by fire: "So I always hurt Zhao Li, I always bring Jing Moyan into the house, and I always come last Bad guy, obviously you love me too, obviously you also want to start over, you want to find the best ending for us..."

Snowflakes falling on his head and sticking to his hair, this scene is more like when we were in our 20s, chasing that bus in the snow together, running and running, and finally fell in the snow together, laughing stand up.

At that time, I thought, that's great, is this heavy snow saying that one day, I can accompany him to Baitou.

It's just what happened afterwards.

The world is so big, we ran and ran, and somehow we got separated like this.

What do people think when they are dying? Are they all like me, lying in the snow, watching the snowflakes fall from the high sky, the snowflakes are soft under the body, the body sinks, sinks, and keeps sinking into the deepest dreams.

"No, I don't hate you."

I hear myself say.

But I couldn't say it, he was on top of me, choking my throat, I could only look into his eyes.Still the same 16-year-old, still the same 16-year-old eyes.

He let go.

The cold air rushed in in an instant, my throat hurt like tearing, I curled up on the ground, and coughed heart-piercingly.

"I don't hate you." I heard my voice hoarse like a broken robot, I turned over and looked him in the eyes: "I don't hate you, because you are just a shadow I created."

He looked at me in astonishment.

"You are just a phantom I created in my mind. I replay my life again and again in this world, hoping to get a different ending. I hope my father will not die, Ling Lanqiu will not die, Cheng But I won’t die. I hope I can save your father and change your life. I hope you don’t leave a shadow on love, worrying that you will be as crazy as your mother, so you dare not love others. In this way, maybe we will There are different endings."

"But I miscalculated someone."

"No matter where I hide, no matter where I hide, he will always find me, no matter how weak he becomes in this world, even if you pull out his tongue and destroy his limbs, even if he becomes Beggar, become a bum, he will always find me. You can't see my wounds, he will. He will always come to me, in my worst moments, when everything around me is starting to crumble, He will come to love me."

In the winter of that year, Tu Yao and I watched a movie. There was a story in it. Before he became a monk, Ananda, a disciple of the Buddha, met a young girl on the road and fell in love with him ever since.The Buddha asked him: How much do you like that girl? Ananda replied: I would like to be transformed into a stone bridge and be exposed to 500 years of wind, 500 years of sun, and 500 years of rain, but I beg her to walk across the bridge.

I laughed at that time, and said it was really not worth it, what good is it to build a stone bridge, 500 years of wind and sun, only for a moment.She doesn't even know who you are.

He didn't speak at the time, but after a long time, he suddenly smiled and said, "It's actually worth it."

I treat him like a teenager, and promise lightly.

I never thought that he would really like to be that stone bridge.

On the day I was shot, I came back from the United States. When I was about to get home, I was very scared. I was afraid that my indomitable blood in my youth would be given to others, and I would give him a lukewarm rest of his life.I don't think it's fair to him.

But at that moment, I suddenly understood.

It turned out that I had begun to love him.

I love him, so I worry that he will be wronged, and I worry that it will be unfair to him.I love him, so he shines like a star in my eyes, he deserves all the best, not a cowardly and plain person like me.

I am so afraid of the underground parking lot, not only because I am afraid of death, but also because I am afraid of missing his appointment for the rest of his life.

"Let go, Qi Chu." I heard myself say, my hand on his chest, I know there are countless healing wounds underneath, just like the countless glass bottle tops in the drawer in my house.

Let go, Xiao Lin.

"I won't let go!" There was hopeless paranoia in his dark eyes: "I killed him! Let's start again. There will always be a way, and we will have a different result..."

"You can't kill him. Even if you can bypass him, can you bypass Zhao Li? Can you bypass Jing Moyan?"

The gap created by fate between us is unavoidable. No matter how many times we practice, how many times we make perfect assumptions, and how many times we correct our mistakes, it cannot be undone. We will eventually end in collapse, just like snowflakes falling from the sky. No matter how slow it is, it will fall into the dust one day.

"You know, we have no other ending. Zhao Li, Ling Lanqiu, Cheng Ke, Xiao Hang... none of us can save them."

No one can save us.

"But I am the strongest in your world, isn't it?" He is still struggling: "I am your strongest obsession, as you said, when two people are together for a long time, it is like the bodies will become assimilated into each other Similarly, even the spirits will infect each other, so you can reproduce everyone around you in your mind, no matter how you cycle, it is still me who occupies the main position..."

But every cycle, you are the one who hurt Zhao Li, and you are the one who favors Jing Moyan. In the end, the person who comes to comfort me every time I am scarred is not you.

I already have a fair opinion in my heart, but you are still lying to yourself.

I suddenly feel very tired, I am not even so afraid, what are you afraid of?Reincarnated a thousand times or ten thousand times, the result that should come will always come.

I have accepted the answer that fate gave me, and it is engraved in my heart, like a piece of wood sinking in water, it will float up one day after a long time.

Snowflakes are still falling, one after another, falling from the infinite void, day and night.

"Do you know where the capital of Madagascar is?" I asked, lying on the snow and looking into his eyes.

He was stunned.

"Before leaving for the United States to listen to your concert that day, Tu Yao and I were watching a movie with Nuo Nuo in our arms. I suddenly thought of this question, so I asked Tu Yao. He didn't know. We were going to check it? Then the phone rang gone."

"That was the last thing I said to him before he was shot."

"Do you know why every time I wake up from a dream, it's because of this problem?"

"Because you don't know the answer to this question, and neither do I. I will only know when I wake up with Tu Yao. Because this question will remind me that you are my past, a deep-rooted past. And he is my s future."

So far, in my life, I have made many mistakes and lost many people. Those past events have been engraved in my heart and become scars that cannot heal.I wanted to start over again and again, but failed again and again, until this moment, I finally let go.

You are the mistakes I made, the person I lost, the past I can't let go of, the regret I never forget.

But for him, I am willing to shake hands with fate.

"Will you still think of me when you go back?"

"Will do."

"But you won't see me again, will you?"

"Yes."

"Then why did I let you go?"

"Probably because, after I go back, you in that world won't be so lonely."

"can you?"

"Yes."

There are 60 billion people in this world. Even if we will never see each other again for the rest of our lives, as long as we know that you are alive and I am alive, you will not be so lonely.

The sun shines quietly on the windowsill.

This is a very beautiful ward, like in an American movie, the sofa is a very gentle color, a little boy sitting on the carpet doing homework, with two cow horns on his hat, and a young man reading a book by the window , has the most beautiful eyes in the world, a bit like a fox.

Everything was quiet until a voice broke the silence.

"You...do you know where the capital of Madagascar...is?"

The young man like a fox, his whole body seemed to be frozen, his whole body froze in place, his eyes were wide open, full of disbelief.

In the next second, ecstasy swept over his expression.

"I know!" He pounced on the hospital bed like a puppy: "I know! I know everything!"