Suicide

Human nature is so strange.When some of your little-known secrets are suddenly known to others, your first reaction may be to kill people to silence them. This is the evil power of instinct.

And I can only avoid Tang Xiyue instinctively, even though I hate and fear her, I dare not show it too much, probably because I am afraid of angering her, she will do things I don't want to see, So when he looked back at her, he was a little more relaxed.

In the past, I lived alone with my mother. My mother was a silent person, always full of worries. Later, I also lived with my father for a while, but he seemed to dislike me very much. I live with Aunt Bai. Aunt Bai is very kind to me, caring for me and taking care of me, but she is also very strict with me.This kind of tossing and tossing, coupled with the fact that many things happened beyond my age range, finally resulted in my withdrawn and indifferent personality, as well as that damned neurasthenia, which made me extremely sensitive, and I could only protect myself with a kind of self-protection. Be wary of dealing with people.I thought: Maybe this is autism!I would rather be bored in my heart than decide not to tell others.

So whenever Tang Xiyue smiled and showed me goodwill, it always made me at a loss. I didn't know how to face her or respond to her. I could only speculate in my heart, but there was no color on my face.I haven't dealt with people yet, the people I knew before, they are all bad, each one is a demon trying to restrain Zhan Zhiling, they tied her up, gave her an injection, forced her to take medicine, every time they made Zhan Zhiling It hurts my heart to look like I can't live or die!

In this world, I am not sure if there is anyone who treats me sincerely. Except for my mother and Aunt Bai, all the people I have communicated with have shown me their ugly side, including my biological father Zhang Guangji, He also tore off the cloak of hypocrisy in front of me, always without exception, so I also became evil and indifferent.

And when someone finally comes to save my loneliness, I have already become one with loneliness, and I may never need company again, but I still want to experience the feeling of carnival, will it also cure insomnia?Will he become a happy fairy from now on?Will it be possible to live and die together, regardless of high or low?So for this new attempt, I would like Tang Xiyue to sit in front of me and eat, hum a song to me, and accept that little pendant.

Tang Xiyue introduced her friends to me one by one, including Xiao Hei who loves to laugh, and the bald man who talks a lot. In fact, the bald man is not without hair. On the contrary, her green hair is very thick. According to Tang Xiyue: It was because the bald man met a perm master who was also the first time to perm the head, and the result was popcorn. The bald man felt ashamed to face others, so he simply pushed his bald head. As a result, the nickname "bald man" never I didn’t get rid of it, I couldn’t help laughing when I heard it, and turned to look at the poor bald man, but seeing her indifferent face, I felt ashamed and ashamed. According to my habit, I can’t bear others to call me so ugly of.

Tang Xiyue also has a best friend named Zhou Ting'er, who is as quiet as me, but she doesn't want to talk, and I refuse to talk, maybe because of the similar personality, I always feel that seen her before.

Of course, the most worth mentioning is Tang Xiyue’s boyfriend, his name is Long Yangcheng, he is from Zhejiang, he looks a bit literary, but in fact, he speaks with thorns everywhere, and he is quite serious, not bookish at all.In this way, I feel that he is not worthy of Tang Xiyue, but one size fits all, he is really nice to Tang Xiyue, and he is very polite to me, but I have always had a stiff face and almost no respect. He laughed. He probably heard Tang Xiyue describe my eccentricity, so he didn't care too much, and was still as polite as before.

After spending some boring days with them, I told Tang Xiyue: "I don't like this kind of life, I would rather stay alone than be with a group of people who don't resonate with me,"

Tang Xiyue burst into tears after swiping, and said: Can't you wait and see?We will surely make you happy, can you wait a little longer?

"Whether I am happy or not is not very important to me, because there is no difference to me between being happy and unhappy. Haven't you heard someone say that if you are too happy, you will cry? Then why should I force myself to pursue happiness? In the end It's all a tragedy of death."

"No, you don't understand. You haven't been seriously happy. The reason why you think so is because you have sunk in sadness for too long. How can happy and unhappy be the same? When you are happy, you will feel relaxed all over your body, like a camel It’s like finally walking out of the long desert, like a tired donkey can finally stop pulling the mill. When you are unhappy, you will feel stressed and out of breath, just like daffodils that have lost the moisture of water and are dying. How do these two feelings differ? Will it be the same?"

"It doesn't matter! Anyway, I just don't want to be with you anymore, thank you for your kindness, and please keep my secret." I said a little indifferently.

"Since you have made your decision, I will not force you, but I also want to tell you a secret. I haven't told anyone about it. It's just because I accidentally eavesdropped on your secret and caused you a burden. Let me tell you a secret." Use my secret to make up for you too!"

"I'm not interested in your secrets, and I don't need you to make up for it. I just don't want to be with you..." I explained eagerly, but Tang Xiyue seemed indifferent, and she still said uncomfortably, I don't know Whether she wants to leave, she can only stand there listening to her talking about "her former brother".

His name is Tang Qiling, named by his father, which means "inspiration and enlightenment". I hope that he will always be full of literary ideas and personable, but unexpectedly he becomes extremely stubborn, never learns, slovenly, and wild horses. However, at that time he He is only 17 years old, but he does almost all kinds of evil. He is always involved in all kinds of vicious incidents. Fighting is even more common. His parents (that is, Tang Xiyue's parents) are worried about him. But it didn't seem to get better, and finally he was expelled from the school and became a case of various teachers educating students.Tang Xiyue always ignored him. Maybe she hated his younger brother. It was his stubbornness that caused his parents to put all their hopes on Tang Xiyue. In short, Tang Xiyue seldom spoke to him.

Tang Qiling (Tang Xiyue's younger brother) had nothing to do after dropping out of school and returning home, and his parents seemed to have given up on him and ignored him, so he became more arrogant and lawless.His father barely talked to him and beat him up frequently, and his mother kept saying that it would be nice if he was half as sensible as his sister.In less than half a month, I died in a brawl, like a dream, the hatred that made you gnash your teeth a few days ago, but it left so suddenly and logically.Everyone unanimously did not shed many tears, tidied up the old clothes and prepared to be cremated, only to find that he had written such a letter,

dad!mom!sister!I'm sorry for causing you so much distress and trouble.I don't know why I became such a demon, maybe it's my nature, maybe it's my own fault, maybe it's because you don't want to understand, but no matter what, I'm already a meaningless person , in the future, if a dead body lies on the street, I hope that my parents will not be too sad.Finally, I will call you again, Dad, Mom, I wish you two elders a long and healthy life!

And Tang Xiyue, don't let your parents down, I believe you won't let them down, you've always been so omnipotent, you won't let people down, right?sister!

Tang Xiyue looked at me from crying to laughing, and said slowly: "This is my secret, isn't it as wonderful as you? I don't care if you tell others, really, because I think you are like my brother. , that kind of temper, that kind of unruly temperament, hateful and pitiful! If you want, I am really willing to be your sister for life, caring about you, understanding you, and forgiving you, so that you will not suffer from entanglement, pain, Autistic and helpless, Zhang Xiaoyu, are you willing to help me?"

The author has something to say:

Each chapter is painstakingly written, and I am serious about writing.

I hope everyone will actively criticize and correct!