Blind Faith

Mark arrived at my house on a Friday night, and we spent the night on the couches—he on one, I on the other—drinking beer and talking.

We each talked about things that were new to each other at work.He told me all sorts of Hartford gossip, and the same nonsense of the same people on different days.I told him about the veterinary hospital and the people and animals I met at work.

Then, needless to say, he asked me about Isaac.

When I think about him, I smile when I talk about him.I can't help it at all.I told Mark how I met him twice this week, after get off work on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and each time I stayed until close to midnight.

"So," Mark said with a smile, "you've gotten to the bedroom stage?"

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help laughing.Yes, that's it.I gave Isaac his first blowjob on Tuesday night and the second on Thursday night, the same day Isaac gave me his first blowjob.I looked at Mark and kept smiling. "I won't tell you!"

Mark looked at me in shock, then shook his head at me. "Oh my gosh. You really like this man."

I smile.There's no point in denying that. "Yes, I like him a lot." Then I pointed at him with my beer glass. "So you'd better behave yourself tomorrow. No crude jokes, no dirty remarks, and no jokes about the blind."

Mark laughed.

On Saturday, as I drove to Isaac's house in the Jeep, I reminded him again. "Be nice to him," I said as I stopped the car, "I don't want to ruin my relationship with him because of you being mean."

He silently crossed himself over his heart as a vow, and then laughed.I gave him a blank stare and let Missy get out of the car.It ran ahead of us, sniffing all the way to the front door, and we followed behind.

I rang the doorbell, raised an eyebrow at Mark, and said softly, "Be nice."

Isaac opened the door, looking as charming as ever.He wears slacks, an expensive polo shirt, leather loafers and his designer sunglasses.

He smiles. "Hey."

"Hi," I replied, kissing him on the cheek, and standing beside him, I took his left hand.

Mark grinned widely, and Isaac held out his hand. "You must be Mark?"

Mark quickly took Isaac's hand and shook it up and down very firmly. "Yes, that's me. Are you the Isaac someone's been talking about to me all day?"

Isaac laughed. "I guess that's just me." He stood aside and invited Mark in, before closing the door behind him. "Come in."

Isaac and I entered the room first, and we are still holding hands.I know he's a little nervous, and I try to calm him down.Mark followed us into the kitchen and leaned next to me at the counter.

"So," said Isaac, "how about I get you something to drink?"

"Okay." I replied.

Isaac let go of my hand, and when he opened the refrigerator, he asked, "Mark? Would you like something to drink?"

"Uh ok, no problem. Thanks," Mark said.Then he looked at me and mouthed, "He doesn't look like a blind man."

Isaac stopped and turned to us. "Any questions?"

I laughed.His intuition is really amazing.Mark looks a little surprised at how Isaac knows we're talking about him, and then he waves his hand in the air stupidly, as if testing Isaac to see.

Mark has many qualities.But I would never say he was smart.

I shook my head and smiled at him. "No problem, everything is fine, Isaac. It's just that Mark is making the rude gesture to see if you're really blind."

Isaac turned in the direction of my voice. "How old is he? Twelve?"

"Sometimes it does."

"Hey!" Mark complained for himself. "I'm still here!"

I laughed, and Isaac laughed as he pulled a large pitcher of iced tea from the fridge.

"And it's not an insulting gesture," Mark said huffily. "This is at best a... waving..."

Isaac snorted. "In your head it sounds smarter, doesn't it?"

I laughed and Mark nodded. "Well, yes, it's very smart."

Then Isaac poured three cups of iced tea, and Mark watched him; watching how his long fingers found the rim of the cup, watching how he moved the kettle, how to put the spout on the cup, how to avoid spilling a drop. case, pour out three cups of the same amount of tea.I couldn't help showing a little proud smile.

Isaac asked, "Did Missy go straight to the backyard?"

"Yeah, I guess it's trying to find Brady."

Isaac nodded. "So you want to go to the backyard?" he asked. "We can sit outside if you want."

I touched his arm. "sounds good."

So we sat outside at the patio table enjoying the beautiful summer day while the two dogs sniffed and poked around.

As soon as we sat down, the conversation started with Isaac's question to Mark. "What else can you do but wave to a blind man?"

Mark laughed, and the two of them started bickering.Isaac was relaxed, almost handy, and I realized that maybe it wasn't Isaac who was nervous in the first place.but me.I hope they get along well.I hope they can like each other.

Mark was still funny and charming, and the three of us chatted easily for almost an hour.Isaac offered to get us a bottle of water, and as soon as he got to the back door, Mark tried to whisper to me, "Now I know why you like him. He's so fucking hot!"

I smiled at Mark. "And he's hearing very well, too."

Mark's smile fades away, and he raises one eyebrow. "Did he just hear what I was saying?"

"I'm blind," Isaac called from the room, "not deaf."

I laughed and Mark bumped my arm and hissed me again: "You should have warned me!" Then his smile faded and he said softly, "He's a really nice guy, Carter. "

I looked at Mark, then nodded and smiled at him. "I know."

We spent the afternoon in the park, and I thought seeing how Isaac got along with his guide dog would scare Mark a bit - or somehow make it more real - but Actually not.When we sat on the park bench, Brady stayed at Isaac's feet, while Mark threw the ball out for Missy to retrieve, and when he got tired of playing, he played for Missy. order, and told us he was now going to use Missy as hookup bait for unsuspecting park visitors, male or female.

I was silent for a while. "I'm sorry," I apologized to Isaac, "but he's outspoken and has no morals."

Isaac chuckled, "About sex as bait, is it not limited to men and women?"

"Yeah, he's not picky," I explained. "As long as the person is alive or looks human, he's interested."

Mark laughed. "Some don't even meet those criteria," he says with a laugh.Then he corrected, "Well, at least they're still breathing."

"Regular." I warned him.

And Mark just laughed and led my dog ​​away, Isaac chuckled beside me. "He is interesting."

"He's crazy," I told him, "I should have tested him first."

Isaac laughed, and then he held out his hand as if looking for mine.I put my hand on his and he squeezed mine. "Thank you for today. Really a great day."

I stroke the back of his hand with my thumb. "You're welcome."

Isaac smiled, then fell silent for a while. "Is he really bisexual?"

"Yes. He really is. Why do you ask?"

Isaac shrugged. "There was a time when I thought I was, you know, not gay." He shook his head. "When I was younger, I had a friend...it was a girl, and I thought I really liked her. I guess I really did. But then I met Daniel, and I knew I I liked him, but I thought it was normal to like girls, but it was wrong to like boys, so I kissed the girl."

"Then?"

"And then there was nothing after that. Obviously nothing happened. I mean, it was sweet and exciting..." He sighed. "So at the time I thought I was bisexual. I thought I had to be sensitive to like both girls and boys. I didn't want to be in a relationship with a guy at all, you know, being blind is hard enough. But when I was with Daniel was in the classroom with him, and what was it like when he kissed me?" He smiled and shook his head. "It was like turning on a light in my head."

I smiled and squeezed his hand. "Then you realize you're not as into girls as you thought you were?"

Isaac nodded with a chuckle. "Almost like that."

"It's not that different from my situation," I confessed. "I think I'm a late bloomer. I didn't have much relationship experience until I went to college. But I was pretty sure in high school that I liked guys, and I just didn't show it until later." Then I thought about it: Was it much harder for Isaac to tell which was more attractive to him when he couldn't see the boy or the girl? "How do you know you like guys if you can't see them?"

Isaac chuckled. "Same as you. You just know you like a guy," he said, "by his voice and the way he smells."

"Smell?" I asked in disbelief. "Do you mean body odor?"

He grinned. "It's okay to not have body odor. The other party's antiperspirant, the other party's cologne." Isaac blushed a little while saying that. "Just like yours."

"mine?"

He smiled and nodded shyly. "You smell good."

"Oh."

He looked a little smug. "And I still have porn."

I stammered, "Pornography?"

Isaac nodded with a smile. "God, I remember telling Hannah I wasn't sure if I liked boys or girls, and then she asked me to imagine what kind of porn I'd rather listen to at night. She asked if I imagined it as a man and a woman, or two men ?” He sighed. "And so I found the answer."

"You imagine two men?"

"Every time."

I laughed out loud.Then I thought about it. "Do you listen to pornography?"

Isaac lowered his head and chuckled. "There are always some videos with really good sound effects."

I moaned from the sudden pain in my lower body. "I'd love to continue discussing this topic and even try it myself, but now we need to change the subject or I'm going to walk home in a very funny pose."

Isaac smiled with his head down, just as Mark came back.He looked at Isaac's smile and laughed too, then sat down next to us and sighed.

"Not hooked up?" I asked him.

"No, Missy has lost its magic."

I snorted. "Yes, it's all the dog's fault."

Mark leaned forward and patted Missy, who wagged his tail in response.Mark looked at Brady, who was still lying at Isaac's feet, and I knew he noticed that Isaac hadn't expressed any appreciation for the dog.My friend turned his gaze from the guide dog to me, and I gave him a small smile and shrugged.

"Then," said Isaac, breaking the silence between us. "What are you two doing tonight?"

Mark stretched his limbs greatly, and then yawned. "Dinner and clubbing. If I can't hook up with a friend in a park with a dog, I'm going to show them my dancing moves."

I laughed out loud. "Very good. A sympathetic shot."

Isaac's mouth fell open, and Mark laughed. "Hey, whatever." Then he looked at Isaac and said, "Isaac, you should come with us."

"Oh, I still can't." Isaac shook his head. "But thank you for the invitation."

Mark asked him, "Have you ever been to a nightclub?"

Isaac replied softly, "No. It's not a safe place for me, I can imagine."

I tightened his hand, "If you want to come with us, I promise I'll take care of you. I won't drink and I won't let go of your hand, and you'll know you're safe the whole time. "I actually wanted to dance with him.

Isaac turned to face me. "I won't go, but thank you for the invitation."

"It's okay, I guess I'll be busy taking care of Mark anyway," I said, shrugging.Then I leaned in and whispered in Isaac's ear, "We can slow dance at your house anytime anyway."

Isaac cleared his throat, then smiled.He leaned toward me too, and whispered, "That sounds good."

"Okay, you two," Mark declared, "I'm enough. We're going to a gay bar tonight. If I have to watch two people show off their love, it has to be me. In case of a kick."

Isaac laughed. "Has he always talked like that?"

I nod. "It's always been like this."

He held my arm the whole way back to Isaac's house.As before, he didn't really need guidance, he just wanted to touch me.It's almost like we're holding hands.Almost.When it was time to say goodbye, Mark took Missy and put her in the back seat, giving Isaac and I some privacy.

We were standing in front of his house. "Have a good night," he said softly.

I leaned over to him, running a hand along his chin. "Can I come over after get off work on Tuesday?" He nodded and I pressed my lips to his.His hand caressed my back, opened his lips for me, and kissed me deeply.I'm melting in his arms for his touch, his taste, and hard as his tongue slides in my mouth.

With a reluctant moan, I slowly stopped the kiss and parted our lips.I pressed my forehead against his cheek, trying to steady my breathing. "God, Isaac..." I murmured, not sure if I was speaking to him or myself.I took a small step back, but still cupped his face in my hands. "I'm serious about the slow dance thing I said earlier."

He was still smiling by the door as I left.

Before driving a block from Isaac's house, Mark said, "He's great, Carter..."

"but?"

"But what about him and his dog?" Mark shrugged. "I don't get it, Brady is a beautiful dog. Smarter than Missy, and that says something. So why doesn't he touch him?"

I knew he would ask that.I'd seen him look at me when he patted Missy when we were in the park.I sighed, "I'm not sure either."

"But you should have noticed it?" Mark analyzed. "The way he ignores it, doesn't pat it, doesn't even pay attention to his presence? I mean, I just knew him for a few hours, and I figured that out."

"Of course I noticed."

"But you never asked him?"

"Uh, no," I hesitated, "what can I say? There's no law that says you have to pat your dog. I think he'll confess to me when he's ready. I don't want to push him. .”

"Because you're in love with him," Mark said in a tone that stated something obvious.

"what?"

"Hey, come on," Mark said, "blindness isn't contagious, is it? Surely you can tell."

I rolled my eyes at him, but I pretended I was concentrating on driving.I really do?Am I really in love with Isaac?I mean, I love being with him, I love talking to him, hearing what he has to say about the world, I love the way he kisses me, touches me, I love...

Oh shit.

Mark snorted. "As a top student who graduated from college with a GPA of 4.0, you are so fucking stupid."

Mark didn't say much more about it, well, at least until he got too drunk that night.We shook our heads in the crowd on the dance floor, and he could tell I wasn't paying attention.He turned me around a lot, then pulled me towards him, and whispered in my ear, "He won't hurt you. He's not like Paul. He won't betray you, and he won't hurt you." your heart."

He let go of me with a smile, then turned around and went to a random stranger, laughing and laughing.I left the dance floor and found a seat to sit and watch Mark dance. Ten minutes later, I shook my head and smiled as he grinned at me and disappeared with the stranger into the bathroom.

I know Isaac won't hurt me.At least not in the way Paul used to hurt me.I'm not going to walk in the door one day and find Isaac in bed with another guy.He is not that kind of person.But that doesn't mean he can't hurt me, or break my heart.