Just A Bit Obsessed

Jared's words were still ringing in Alexander's ears as he left his cousin's place and got into the car.

He leaned back in the driver's seat and wiped his face with one hand.

Sometimes, love is not beautiful.It is not so simple and neat, nor is it textbook perfect.Love has no ideal template.Sometimes it's dirty and nasty, and sometimes it's creepy.It can even be painful at times.

He thought of Jared's downcast posture and unnatural smile, the look on Jared's face when he looked at the French kid, and then Meera and the other ex-girlfriends.They were all beautiful and nice people, but if Alexander had to be honest, being with them wasn't one-tenth of what he was with Christian, and it wasn't just about sex.He'd never felt that overwhelming urge to touch, to kiss, to pull, to be with each other before.He never couldn't take his eyes off when they laughed, and he was never impatient to see them.Everything—his reactions, his emotions—was well contained.Everything was predictable and superficial, and he liked it that way.He used to like that.

Someone opened the co-pilot's door and sat in. Alexander's thoughts were also distracted.

It's the French kid, Gabriel.He didn't even wear a coat and was covered in snow.He stared at Alexander. "What the fuck did you do to him? Jared was drinking, he never drank. Whatever you did, go back and make it up!"

Watching him, Alexander realized that the man in front of him was not as young as he had thought.He was probably about Christian's age, but the curve of his lips made him look weak and harmless.But now, Alexander saw the tough expression on the man's face, and it was obvious that his first impression of him was wrong.His intuition told himself: this man is far from being a weak, pitiful and helpless existence.

"Me?" Alexander asked back. "I'm the one to ask this question, right?" Damn it.He shouldn't have said that.Jared didn't want Gabriel to know.

But there was no trace of confusion on Gabriel's face, he just averted his eyes.

Alexander narrowed his eyes and studied the man in front of him.

"You know," he said suddenly. "You know that, right?"

Gabriel nodded, still not looking at him.

"If you know, let him go."

"It's not that simple," Gabriel said succinctly.

"It's simple. He loves you, you know, but you let him watch you with your girlfriend. You don't even care about him, do you?"

"You do not understand."

"I really don't understand," snapped Alexander. "I'm going to tell Jared you know."

Gabriel grabbed his arm. "Don't you dare," he growled, his green eyes flashing dangerously.His expression changed completely, and something ruthless and ugly secretly surged in the depths of his eyes. "If you do, then I promise he'll never talk to you again, understand? I can do it. If he had to choose, he'd choose me, not his cousin. He's mine."

Alexander stared at him.The man's appearance was indeed deceiving.Innocent and cute child?Come on. "Does he know that you are such a selfish psychopath?"

Gabriel laughed, as if hearing something funny. "Jared knows me better than anyone. He's seen me at my worst." Something that looked like shock or embarrassment flickered across his face. "I'm not a nice guy, but he still loves me. I'm not giving him up. Never."

Alexander shook his head slowly. "Can't you see how cruel this is? Don't you give a damn? He's about to break down."

Gabriel gritted his teeth and lowered his eyes. "I know," he whispered hoarsely. "I hate myself for hurting him, but I just—I can't let go, get it? He gave him... my career. He gave me everything I have now." He turned to look out the window . "From a penniless orphan to a star earning 20 pounds a week. I have everything I dreamed of. I didn't need him anymore." He paused, and when he spoke again, his tone was full of resentment. "But I just need it. I hate this too - this emotional dependence, desperate for his attention and encouragement. I've never been emotionally dependent on anyone until I met him - I've never had anyone to depend on before .I hate this kind of relationship, and I hate that I am always afraid that he will tire of me and leave me, you know?" Gabriel shook his head, curled his mouth and smiled: "Of course you don't understand. No one understands. "

"I understand," said Alexander. "Knows better than you think."

Gabriel shot him a suspicious look. "Really? You feel the same way?"

"How to say, it's not exactly the same. I don't have as many psychological problems as you do."

"Thanks," Gabriel said. "So what's your problem? A woman, I assume?"

"A man," Alexander said.For some reason, he found it easy to talk to Gabriel about it.It may be because this child's psychology is much more distorted than his own.

"Ha," Gabriel muttered something like "Sure enough, it's a family tradition." "What's wrong with this man? He doesn't want you?" Gabriel frowned. "If he also likes men, it should be unlikely."

"What do you mean?"

Gabriel snorted. "Did you look in the mirror? You look a lot like Jared, and Jared is handsome. Everyone at our club loves him."

except you.

"Let's get down to business, what's wrong with this man?" Gabriel continued to ask.

"I want him."

"Uh, what's the problem with this...?"

Alexander looked out of the windshield at the heavy snow.

"Wait, when you say 'I want him', do you mean you want to take his hand and kiss him till he dies, or—"

"I mean everything." Alexander thought of Christian's face, his full lips, his gorgeous smile, the curve of his neck, his dark nipples, his thighs, his long legs wrapped around him, his tight asshole , body temperature, and black eyes——

Alexander laughed self-deprecatingly, feeling that his lower body was about to move. "Everything. From looking at him stupidly, to wanting to rub my cum into his skin so he smells like me from the inside out."

"Uh," Gabriel was a little embarrassed. "That's too much talk, man."

Alexander looked at him. "You should know Jared doesn't think purely when he looks at you, right?"

Gabriel squirmed, flushed, and bit his lip. "I usually try not to think about it."

"You should think about it," Alexander's voice was even more grim. "He's not a replacement for your unsuspecting parents, not your brother or some kind of monk. He's a normal, healthy man, and if you really love him as you say, stop being one Selfish little bastard, let him go."

Gabriel's originally bright eyes dimmed immediately. "I can not."

Alexander sighed deeply. "Are you sure you don't like men at all? I used to think I was straight too."

Gabriel shook his head. "I'm not interested in men at all." He said gruffly, looking at his fingers. "You know, I'm glad I'm not gay. I'm so eager and dependent on him now that I don't need him physically. I can't even imagine what kind of clingy person I will become if I want him physically. Fine. I probably wouldn't let him out of my sight for a moment."

He looked back at Alexander, his green eyes wide and pleading.He was that innocent and vulnerable kid again. "Please don't let him know."

Alexander pursed his lips, but nodded curtly.

"Thank you." Gabriel put his hand on the doorknob and stopped. "You know what, I hurt my spine when I was 16 and everyone thought it was going to end my career. I was scared to death myself. What if the doctors were right and I couldn't walk anymore ? I can’t get up all the time—after all, if I don’t walk, I won’t fall.” There was a soft, slightly sad smile on his nostalgic face. "But Jared - who was my physio at the time - told me that if I didn't try, I wouldn't fall. So I tried. Now I'm the best winger in the world. "

"It's also the most 'modest'." Alexander snorted and started the wipers to sweep the snow off the windshield. "Thanks, I understand the essence of the story, but it's not necessary. Because I won't deceive myself anymore." Alexander smiled wryly. "I can't live without him."

Gabriel nodded without smiling. "Yes," he said hoarsely, and opened the door. "I understand. Good luck."

"You too," Alexander started the engine. "Don't break my cousin's heart."

Gabriel's answer was overshadowed by howling wind and swirling snow.Maybe that's for the best.