give you a soft spot

Xi Zhuo's fire is not only because of me, but also mixed with other things.

It's unwillingness, it's disappointment, it's powerlessness but having to hold on.

Since he came out publicly, his career has been on the decline.Unlike Zeng Yuan, who was banned immediately due to the express regulations of drug use, the industry has always carried out a slow and slow ban on stars with problematic sexual orientation.

Many big directors and big productions have already started to ignore Xi Zhuo in the first choice.

Xi Zhuo's insistence on keeping Yan Yiyun is not simply to compete with Luo Shu, but he also puts his hopes on Yan Yiyun.As early as the beginning, he was extremely optimistic about Yan Yiyun. Among so many juniors, I never heard him praise anyone, but I only said that Yan Yiyun was a good seedling.

At that time, he had discerning eyes and knew people and signed Yan Yiyun under the flag to train him carefully. He didn't expect that the young man wanted to leave now, and he didn't get anything for his efforts. Although he was familiar with the feeling of being betrayed, he still hated it.

But I, for the sake of the overall situation, completely ignored his personal feelings, said something that made him sad, and he turned around and slammed the door to leave. I don't blame him.

I used to complain in my heart that he didn't keep me every time I was about to leave. I only realized it after experiencing it. If the matter is not resolved, if you pull him back, you will only continue to quarrel. It is better to separate temporarily.

But I was wrong, this separation is not temporary.

Xi Zhuo disappeared.

I waited for him to come home after get off work every day, but he didn't come back.Two weeks have passed and there is still no news, and he has not returned home or company.

There is no sign of him anywhere, I can't find him, or he won't let me find him.He didn't answer the phone, he didn't reply to the message, he was really angry with me this time.

Even Bai Yang refused to tell me where Xi Zhuo went. I didn't want to be busy with work, but I promised to go home every day. I always wanted to see him sitting on the sofa playing with his mobile phone or watching TV as soon as he opened the door, looking up and smiling at him. Let me just say, you are back.

Disappointment again and again told me that he might really not want me anymore.

A few days later, the contract termination lawsuit, which lasted for nearly three months, ended. Xi Zhuo gave up first. He did not attend the last game, and no one outside knew where he went.

Yan Yiyun officially terminated the contract with Xizhuo Film and Television Entertainment. On the day we went to the company to go through the formalities, we met downstairs. He was wearing a hat and mask, and he had an air of keeping strangers away. He walked among the staff, glanced at me, and then looked away. .

It is said that both parties made a concession, Xi Zhuo Film and Television Entertainment gave up all rights to control Yan Yiyun, and half of Yan Yiyun's income during the original contract period will belong to Xi Zhuo Film and Television Entertainment.

I followed upstairs to see if Xi Zhuo would be present on such an important occasion.The security didn't stop me, I passed smoothly, only saw Bai Yang dealing with things, and there was no sign of Xi Zhuo.

That was the first time I didn't go home during Chinese New Year. My mother and her two old sisters went abroad to play, so there was no need for me to go back.

Staying alone in Xi Zhuo's apartment, feeling the loneliness that invades the heart amidst the lights of thousands of houses, looking for any breath about him.

It's not that I haven't had this kind of moment of breaking up, but I have never been so afraid.In the past, even if he couldn't see him in person, he could see him on the screen, but this time even the paparazzi declared that Xi Boss was missing.

When I returned to the studio after the year, the first thing I did was to ask He Liang to help me find a house, and decided to move to Zenzhuo's apartment. If he chose not to come back because he was concerned about my presence, then why should I hang on.

He Liang acted very quickly, and after three days, he rented a two-bedroom apartment for me near the studio. I wanted to go back and pack up my things and leave immediately, but Sister Gu insisted on asking me to interview a makeup artist with her. I was not in the mood to refuse. Open the door and go in, sit on a chair and watch the interviewers come in and go out one by one.

After four or five people went out, a small woman came in. I was looking at my phone before she gave her name, and I immediately looked up when I heard her name.

"What did you say your name was?"

The woman smiled and repeated: "Jiao Lin."

The memory rushed back to that midsummer night like crazy. After the concert, I stood helplessly outside the venue, and the first number I dialed was this woman's.

I was probably the most incompetent interviewer, and I smiled and nodded in greeting: "Sister Jiao."

After going around for a long time, the person who used to only hear the voice sat in front of me and met again. There was an indescribable excitement. At that time, she helped me get Bai Yang's number and returned the ring. I should be grateful I never forget.

I looked down at the ring on my left middle finger. The man who gave me the ring said that he would be in love with me forever, but now he has disappeared.

I suddenly remembered the box that hadn't been opened, and got up and left without stopping for a moment.

Sister Gu was taken aback by my actions, and yelled and asked me where I was going.Before closing the door, I turned around and pointed at Jiao Lin: "It's her, don't interview anyone else."

The No.30 seven days when Xi Zhuo disappeared, the sweetness that was once buried together is now tears.I still didn't wait for his permission to open the present he gave me when he came back from Paris.

It is a bunch of keys, there are four or five keys, large and small.

He still likes to write something in his own hand when he gives me something.

"I'll wait for you until you're ready."

I turned the card over and saw what appeared to be an address in French.

When Bai Yang received my call, he still said as usual that he didn't know where Xi Zhuo was. He didn't hesitate to explain clearly until I said that I opened the box and saw the card.

Last time Xi Zhuo went to Paris to participate in an event and came back a week late because he was busy buying a promising villa, and what I had in my hand was the key to that villa.

I didn't even wait for Bai Yang to finish speaking, so I hung up the phone and quickly packed up my things to book a plane ticket.

He must be there, he is waiting for me there.

Once I turned down his offer to live with him, and he kept waiting for me to get ready.However, I was always unprepared, busy with work and in the dark, and valued my dreams more than him.

And he gave up his dream long ago for me.

He stepped down from the stage and left under the spotlight. He had long been willing to give up his aura and go to tea, rice, oil and salt, but I always refused thousands of miles away, using ambition as an excuse in a high-sounding manner.

Now think about it, dream or Xi Zhuo, which one is more important.

It seems that it is not difficult to choose.

Without Se Joo, what good is it for me to realize my dream.Still can't laugh happily, can't sleep soundly, can't live peacefully.

He gave up the whole world for me without saying a word, why can't I give up everything for him.I seem to be swallowed by life, numb to the mechanical work to make money again and again, forgetting the feeling of going all out for one thing for one person, living rationally, living soberly, are all pathetic.

I have said many times that as long as I can be with Xi Zhuo, I don’t need anything, but I have never done it.

This time, I must do it.

Two years ago, I came to Paris to find Qiyi, and I returned with a spark of dream, which ignited a raging fire and made me glow and glow.Now I would rather the night rain in Paris could drown it out, and let me return to the sky full of stars who can be crazy for Xi Zhuo at any time.

Because I couldn't find the location of the villa, I temporarily settled in the hotel until dawn.

The rain stopped, and the remaining dampness in the air dissipated after the sun rose.A few years ago, I was looking forward to strolling in this romantic city, but now I have no intention of missing the scenery.

After taking a taxi and showing the address to the driver, the scenery outside the window began to recede.

Pressing on the phone screen, I touched the man's face on the background picture with my finger, I will never let him wait for me in this life, I want to go together, I want to stay together.