Heart Medicine

Song Liusheng disposed of the withered tea plum, and made up his mind that he had known Qin Chuxun for more than four months.Although they didn't know each other for a long time, Song Liusheng was deeply impressed by everything he did with him.

The last time Qin Chuxun and Song Liusheng discussed, they used the small hospital bed as the stage to simulate a small concert. Although Song Liusheng was the only one in the audience, Qin Chuxun still sang happily.

Another time after that, Qin Chuxun also put on makeup, brushed his eyelashes and put on lipstick, and accompanied Song Liusheng in a skirt. They also took many photos and recorded the beautiful moments forever.

These seem to have just happened in front of the eyes, but overnight, things have changed.

Probably Qin Chuxun's biggest regret in life was not being able to stand in front of that person in person, say out loud that he liked him, and confess to him.

Happiness is in a place full of flowers. Qin Chuxun planted flowers for him. The garden was full of flowers and fragrant, but the man hurried past indifferently, without stopping to take a look.

In reality, fruitless crushes are mostly like this.

Song Liusheng flipped through the photos in the album, Qin Chuxun obviously looked so beautiful and full of youthful vigor, but...

In Song Liusheng's eyes, these color photos had already become black and white.

Because Qin Chuxun left.

The operation failed, and Qin Chuxun never woke up again. After waiting for Song Liusheng for more than ten hours, what he finally got was a death certificate and the cold corpse lying in the morgue.

How much he wished that Qin Chuxun was just asleep, and all this was just a nightmare of his. Song Liusheng wanted to force himself to wake up quickly. When he woke up, he would see Qin Chuxun opened his eyes and became lively again, full of vitality Full.

however……

As long as people are alive, they are doomed to be unable to escape reality.

Qin Chuxun couldn't remember what his biological parents were like. They had a car accident, and then Qin Chuxun was sent to an orphanage. He was not yet five years old at that time.

Not long after, Qin Chuxun was taken away by a young couple, so he was raised by adoptive parents.After graduating from high school, Qin Chuxun filled out the same volunteering as that man, and was also admitted to the Film and Television Academy, but insisted on entering the entertainment circle.

But his adoptive parents have always been very opposed and disliked Qin Chuxun very much, so their relationship with Qin Chuxun has become more and more distant.

Later, the family adopted a younger brother, and the Qin family and his wife's thoughts were all transferred to the youngest son, completely ignoring Qin Chuxun, and letting him fend for himself in the entertainment industry.In the future, whether he becomes famous or chooses to quit the industry, it has nothing to do with them.

However, the love of nurturing for more than [-] years cannot be said to be broken. The Qin family couple saw the eldest son disappear like this, and the fresh life in their twenties suddenly disappeared, and they also looked sad.

Qin's mother couldn't hold back any longer, holding her son's cold body, she couldn't cry, she had too much self-blame and regret in her heart...

Song Liusheng watched from the side, and couldn't help thinking of his mother.

That night, Song Liusheng was haunted by nightmares again, his body was constantly breaking free from the shackles, and the shadows gradually engulfed his whole body.

In the dream, Song Liusheng was still very young. His mother braided his hair, put on cute hair clips, and put on a beautiful dress. Her gentle palm stroked Song Liusheng's cheek, and there was a warm smile in her eyes.

But the next moment, the woman's palm became icy cold. She pinched Song Liusheng's neck, and her sharp nails penetrated into the flesh and blood.Her eyes were also bloodshot, she hated and resented, and there was a weird smile on her lips.

It is hard to imagine that this is the expression of a mother looking at her own son.

Later, my mother fell into a pool of blood, and the blood splashed Song Liusheng's face, and he cried.

Some shadows may last a lifetime.

Song Liusheng was startled awake.

He broke out in a cold sweat and flustered. He called "Grandma", but remembered that Grandma was sick, so sick, she had been recuperating in the hospital for the past few months; Song Liusheng called "Chu Xun" again , but as soon as I called out, my heart was suddenly empty.

Song Liusheng comforted himself repeatedly, maybe because Qin Chuxun was too beautiful, God couldn't bear to let him continue to suffer in this world, so he took him away, he will be happy in heaven.

But the only friend around me is gone, and those agreed things can't be realized.Qin Chuxun's death had a great blow and impact on Song Liusheng, especially psychologically. He started to fall ill again, and this time the severity of the attack was much more serious than before.

Song Liusheng has been having nightmares these past few days. He is fine during the day, but once it is late at night, not only is it difficult for him to fall asleep, but he is full of hallucinations and auditory hallucinations.

He heard the ridicule from his classmates, the teacher's blame, Qin Chuxun's shouts, his mother's beating and scolding, and his own crying when he was a child...

Song Liusheng was so frightened that he curled up in a corner, shivering under the quilt.For some reason, he felt chills all over his body, and the chills spread from his chest to his limbs.

He was cold and hurt even more.

The auditory hallucinations continued to flow into the brain. Song Liusheng's brain seemed to be drilled by an electric drill. The pain made him beat his temples on both sides continuously, and then he couldn't help but hit the wall.

Song Liusheng's heart also seemed to be pressed against a boulder, feeling stuffy and uncomfortable, as if he was about to suffocate.

His condition was particularly serious tonight, but Song Liusheng, who rented a house near the hospital, was alone at this time.

Even wearing a beautiful dress couldn't relieve Song Liusheng's heart, he couldn't find any peace and satisfaction at all. He felt extremely uncomfortable, and then picked up the fruit knife at home.

Rolling up his sleeves and trousers, Song Liusheng began to cut his arms, thighs and calves.After a while, blood slowly overflowed from his arms and legs, and the wound was painful, but Song Liusheng was relieved instead.

The old wound stopped bleeding, so he cut a new one, and cut it sharply, leaving many small wounds. Song Liusheng tried to use the pain in other parts of his body to numb himself.

In Song Liusheng's dreams, a white butterfly would often appear. Unfortunately, the butterfly was flying lightly, but suddenly its wings were broken, and all its brilliance faded away. The butterfly fell into the mud...

In fact, that white butterfly is like Song Liusheng's mother.

Mother Song was a ballet dancer when she was young. She won many awards and performed on stages all over the country. A bigger and more international stage.

Song Liusheng has seen videos of her mother dancing before. She is wearing a white dance skirt, with a light and moving figure. Every time she spins and jumps, she will form a beautiful curve. She is really elegant and noble like a white swan.

However, Mother Song had an accident during a performance. Her leg was broken, and she could only sit in a wheelchair for the rest of her life, and she would never be able to dance on stage again.

There are countless men who once loved and pursued her, but after learning that she will be disabled in her next life, most of them were scared away, only Papa Song never left.

Mother Song finally married this man, but her feelings for him were not love.

Mother Song was pregnant. She prayed to Buddha everywhere and prayed devoutly. She wanted to have a daughter, hoping to help her fulfill her unfinished dream. Unfortunately, she gave birth to Song Liusheng.

There was a new baby son in the family, Song's father cheered happily, Song Liusheng's grandparents were also very happy, except for Song's mother, she looked disappointed.

Because Song Liusheng was a boy, Mother Song never looked at him directly, and she was indifferent to this son.Instead, she pestered her husband, hoping to have a second child, and she desperately wanted a daughter.

As a result, during her second pregnancy, Song's mother accidentally fell off the wheelchair and suffered severe bleeding, which not only caused a miscarriage, but also made her unable to have children.

After Song's mother suffered a serious illness, she was completely disheartened. She lay on the bed all day in a daze, crying silently, no matter how much Song's father persuaded and comforted her, she hardly responded.

Song Liusheng, who was only four years old at the time, quietly walked to his mother's bedside.He knew in his heart that his mother didn't like him, so at this time, he didn't even dare to hold his mother's hand.

He carefully pulled the corner of his mother's clothes, wanting to let her see himself, Song Liusheng smiled at his mother: "Mom, you...you look at me, okay? You still have me."

Listening to the immature child's voice, Mother Song turned her face slowly. Only then did she realize that her son was already four years old, he could walk and talk already, and he had also started kindergarten.

She, who had never cared about Song Liusheng before, looked at her son's handsome eyebrows, and suddenly thought of something, and her eyes suddenly brightened.

"Yes! And you!" Mother Song stretched out her hand and touched her son's head for the first time, "Shengsheng, you will listen to what mother says, and no matter what mother says in the future, you will obey obediently, right?

"Yeah." Song Liusheng smiled and nodded, immersed in the joy of being stroked by his mother on the head.

So, Mother Song began to dress up Song Liusheng, braided his hair, told him to wear floral skirts, and raised Song Liusheng as a daughter.

"Shengsheng, you are so beautiful."

Song's mother praised him every day. Although she was smiling, there was always an indescribable weirdness in her smile.

Looking at himself with braided hair in the mirror, Song Liusheng became more and more puzzled when he thought of the strange eyes of his classmates at school: "Mom, but I'm a boy, and other boys in school don't dress like this, but I don't like them." Same, is that right?"

Song's mother's expression changed immediately, and she said coldly: "Why can't boys do this? Shengsheng, don't worry about others, you just need to obey me obediently."

"Does it mean that you will be happy if I wear a skirt?" Song Liusheng asked innocently.

"Of course, Shengsheng, I like the way you dance in a skirt the most, just like when I was young, how beautiful."

Mother Song's concern and care for her son at first made Father Song very pleased, but later he found something was wrong.Because Song's mother has always dressed Song Liusheng as a girl, sent him to school, taught him how to dance, and put on a girl's dance skirt, and specially danced the girl's part.

Papa Song noticed the abnormality, and quarreled with Mama Song more and more. He felt that his wife was too paranoid and had psychological problems, so he planned to take her to see a psychiatrist.

But within two days, Papa Song died unexpectedly in a traffic accident.

After her husband died, Song's mother was too lazy to take care of the two old people in the country. She sold the house and took Song Liusheng to the big city.

Because Song Liusheng is always dressed as a girl, the school's teachers often come to persuade her, saying that her doing so will affect the physical and mental health of the child, leading to the long-term isolation and exclusion of the child, so that the child will become introverted and silent, and prone to depression disease.

They had good intentions, but they were scolded by Song's mother and left.She became more and more nervous, and then moved with Song Liusheng many times, and changed schools many times.

Song Liusheng gradually grew up, not as naive as he was when he was a child, and he didn't understand anything. He gradually realized that he was a different kind.

"Mom, I don't want to wear skirts anymore, they're all laughing at me, and I don't want to learn to dance anymore, leg presses hurt so much, jumping and turning around are so hard."

Song's mother had a gloomy face: "Shengsheng, don't you listen to your mother? You are not a good boy!"

Song Liusheng was trembling with fright, and shook his head again and again: "I...I didn't! Mom, please, I really hurt, I'm so sad..."

"No! Shengsheng, you must dance!"

Mother Song became more and more serious. Once Song Liusheng did not do well, showed a refusal expression on his face, or made a wrong move, she would beat him with belts and bamboo sticks.

The once beautiful "White Butterfly" had its wings broken, and she hated it so much, her remorse gradually became a pathological sustenance, and she blindly forced her child.

Later, after some things happened, Mother Song's mental state became worse and worse, and she became crazy.

In the third year of Song Liusheng's junior high school, this woman committed suicide.

In front of Song Liusheng, mother Song's tears and blood kept flowing, holding her son's hand, crying and saying "I'm sorry" over and over again...

Two days later, when Song Liusheng went to the hospital to visit his grandmother, he saw a familiar figure as soon as he entered the ward.

"Liusheng, I found you." Xu Mingyan smiled at Song Liusheng.

Song Liusheng was in a daze, and he didn't recover for a moment. He didn't expect that Dr. Xu would come here.

After the two left the ward, Xu Mingyan sized up Song Liusheng, and when he realized something was wrong, he suddenly squeezed Song Liusheng's wrist.

Song Liusheng trembled coldly, because Dr. Xu touched his wound.

Xu Mingyan let go of his hand immediately, and now his guess is more certain: "Liu Sheng, your arm is hurt again, could it be you..."

Suicide again...

Song Liusheng lowered his eyes: "I'm sorry, Doctor Xu, I can't control it at all, because if I don't cut my arm, I can't help but stab the knife into my heart, because it hurts too much."