love marks

Chapter 92, the eighth year without Fu Yufeng, I still miss them.

Compared to Tang Ming's sadness and fear, I acted calmly...

Dejected and calm.

It took me half a day to digest and accept the fact that I will be labeled as a disabled person from now on. I have gone through all kinds of complicated emotions in my heart, and now I only want to cry but have no tears.

After briefly understanding the process of the accident, the old brother frowned and struggled for a long time before saying, "Let's tell mom."

"Don't say it yet," I stopped, "tell her she can't bear it at this time."

"But you can't hide it for long, she will find out sooner or later," said the elder brother, "If you don't say it now, when will you say it? At this juncture, something like this happened to you, and you still keep it secret. In the future, when mom finds out, it will be more serious." Blame yourself... Besides, aren't you afraid that she will misunderstand that it is because of Fu Yu that you became like this?"

I was suffocated in my heart, and then I was powerless, "She will definitely blame Fu Yu, no matter what, it's all because of her..."

"Where's Fu Yu?" The elder brother said again, "Why didn't I see her, shouldn't she be by my side at this time?"

"I haven't told her yet," I said.

He understood a little bit, and then said, "She is still waiting for you, you have been lying down for so many days, even if Yu girl can hold her breath, can Feng Jin hold her breath, you are not afraid that he will find her home, when the time comes Naturally, there is no need to hide it from my mother."

"For the time being, he probably won't go to see his mother anymore," I guessed, "He said it's not suitable to come out now."

"Then when will you contact him? You don't want them to wait like this forever."

I am in conflict.

Seeing my tangled look, my brother sighed, "You don't mean to break up, do you?"

I was stunned and didn't speak.

"Even if you want to break up, I understand. After all, you are like this... Even if she doesn't dislike it, you don't want to drag her down."

My mood sank along with his voice.

"I said I wouldn't leave her." Right after I finished speaking, I felt guilty.Without knowing it, my lover loses contact for no reason, and whoever can change it can't go crazy.

But no matter now or in the future, am I still qualified to disturb them and drag them down.

"Call her," the elder brother stood up, "I'll go downstairs and pay the fee."

"I... I don't have a cell phone," I said.

"Where's your phone?"

"At Mom's."

Just think about it, if I had a mobile phone, would I still use other people's mobile phones to make calls?

He took out his mobile phone and handed it to me, hesitated for a second and said, "If you want to continue being together, let her come. If you don't want to drag her down, just make it clear. Personality, unless he dislikes you, breaking up may not work for him."

After all, my brother went out.

I looked at the phone, my palms were sweating, and it felt like it was going to burn and it was so hot.

I know that when this call is made, she will rush over without hesitation, and then say nothing and never let go, continuing to fulfill their obsession.

I have no doubt that they will not abandon me.

As long as you dial this number, we will continue to be together regardless of obstacles, without thinking about other things.

That is impossible.

So my action hesitated.

I can't think of anything.

They can ignore it, but I can't.

It seems simple to say that I just lost a calf, but how difficult it is to put it in life, you don't need to think about it to know that it will be very difficult.

It's enough for me to bear this kind of difficulty alone, everything is caused by myself, and I can't drag it to others.

The call was not dialed out for a long time, so I was cruel and threw the phone aside.

After a long time, my brother finally came back, put the payment slip in his hand into the drawer, said in a hoarse voice without looking at me: "The fees have been paid in the past few days, but there is not enough money, and the subsequent fees have not yet been paid." Come on, I have to go home in a while."

"Do you want to tell mom?" I asked knowingly.

"I can't hide it." His voice was restrained.

I sighed slightly, "When I talked to her, my tone was more normal... I'm still in the rented house, you can go and get it;" Then I changed my words, "Forget it, let her do it."

In this way, the hospitalization fee is not enough, and the family does not have much savings.

I sighed again: "You can ask the doctor later when I will be discharged from the hospital."

"Okay." He only replied once, and walked out again.

"Don't worry, let's go later," I said, "It's noon, and they're all eating."

The elder brother hesitated for a moment, then continued to walk out, "I'm going to smoke a cigarette."

I was slightly surprised, when did he learn to smoke.

In fact, I knew he didn't want me to see his out-of-control emotions, and the slightly swollen red eye circles had already exposed his catharsis.

Later, it was taken for granted that my mother knew about it. This woman in her mid-mature age secretly wiped away tears in the toilet, and even forced a smile to relieve my boredom.

I stayed in the hospital for more than half a month, and I insisted on leaving the hospital. When the bust was removed and fixed, I suddenly found a small opening in my chest. The opening was not big but deep. The doctor explained that it was to draw out the pleural effusion and insert the catheter. Yes; the mood is very complicated for a while.

We took a taxi home, but Fu Zhe didn't come because he couldn't get away, so he called to inquire.

Fortunately, my mother didn't implicate Fu Zhe because of Fu Yu.

Later, after staying at home for two days, my mother made a fuss about moving, saying that she wanted to change the environment and change her mood.

I knew she wanted to avoid Fu Yu, and to prevent me from going back to Fu Yu, I didn't object.

During the half month of hospitalization, none of us mentioned Fu Yu. We all consciously avoided this person. Although my mother was surprised, she didn't talk too much. For her, I could cut off the contact with Fu Yu. She wished for it.

We broke up and moved to another city on the third day after we were discharged from the hospital, and we started a new life since then.

As time passed, my broken ribs were almost healed, and my amputated calf was replaced by a prosthesis. It took me a long time to get used to this prosthesis. Every time I put on the prosthesis, I always unconsciously think of the night of the car accident .

Sometimes I wonder if this is God's punishment for me, because I am indecisive and indecisive, so this punishment is indeed a bit too much.

My brother prepared a wheelchair, saying that it was in case of emergency; but he has not used it since he entered the house. Although I am disabled, I am not a disabled person, and I will not rely on a wheelchair to live. I don’t need a wheelchair in my new life.

Because of the large expenses of hospitalization, the family is more struggling than before. My mother found a job as a shopping mall cleaner. When I heard her say it nonchalantly and even with a smile, I felt a sudden pain in my heart, and I suppressed my nose. I asked as if nothing had happened, "Didn't you work as an accountant before? This city also has places to recruit accountants."

"Yes, but it's too far away from home. It's more convenient to take care of you close to home." Mom replied.

I couldn't help the tears.

I turned my back and wiped my eyes, then changed the subject, "I'm hungry."

"What to eat."

"Mushu meat."

"Wait, I'll do it for you." Mom walked away.

I stroked my stuffy chest and let out a sigh of relief.

After confirming that I was in good health, I began to submit my resume to find a job. At the beginning, I didn’t have a specific direction. As long as I thought I could do it, I would take the initiative to contact me. Of course, there were always difficulties at the beginning. I study foreign languages ​​at university, so why not find some language-related jobs, as long as the majors are compatible, and those with less strict physical requirements should be able to do so.

Later, I finally applied for a job as an office clerk in a listed company, but after two years of stability, I was accidentally found out by people in the company that I was disabled, and the manager tried to persuade me to leave.

That’s right, after all, although I try my best to stay the same as ordinary people, my steps always show unnaturalness, so in order to avoid their suspicion, I’m always the first to go to work and the last to leave after get off work, but paper can’t hold fire, Still got fired.

The reason is that the nature of the company is foreign exchange, and foreign guests can always be seen, and my "image" will affect the overall company image.

Therefore, when I look for a job again, I always say "ugly things" first, but often the other party hesitates when they hear this, and I know that it is useless to say more.

My brother suggested that Fu Zhe help me find a new home. I was a bit resistant. I didn't want to take advantage of this relationship. After cutting off contact with Fu Yu, I stopped contacting Fu Zhe. I was worried that Fu Yu would find me through Fu Zhe's relationship. I.

And my brother and Fu Zhe are still in a relationship, so I rarely meet with my brother.

And the elder brother repeatedly assured on the phone that Fu Zhe would not interfere with my affairs with Fu Yu, and he would never ask me what happened to me and her.

After hitting the wall again and again, I was a little discouraged and acquiesced to my brother's meaning.Sure enough, it didn't take long for the job to be found. In view of my request, it was not the company I was with Fu Zhe, but another small company that was out of reach;

In fact, Fu Zhe wanted to find me a stronger next company, but due to my eagerness to avoid contact, I could only do what I wanted and work in a small, unremarkable company.

During the interview, I got straight to the point and first told the fact that I was disabled. Fortunately, the boss of the company didn't care;

"What I want is your brain, not your legs, as long as your head works."

So I successfully qualified for their translation position.

Half a year later, I took my savings and rented a small house outside and moved out again. This time I didn’t want to escape, but I didn’t want my mother to run around the family unit like a spinning top and worry about my situation when I was going to work.

Being able to move out already means that I have no problem at all by myself.

In the past six months, my mother has not contacted that man again, and my brother also resigned from his original job. One day, he suddenly told us a surprising news: he is going to be an actor!

And before making this decision, he had already taken two plays, and then he was sure that he really likes acting, so he decided to take this path.

After being surprised, I was a little worried: "Actors work very hard."

"It's not hard to do anything." The old man wanted to laugh.

It's not that I object, but I just feel uneasy, "You really decided? The entertainment industry is not easy."

"I'm an actor, not a gangster."

"Performance and entertainment are not separated. If you embark on this path, you can't help yourself in many things," I said, "What if you become famous with your conditions?"

The old brother was stunned for a while, and then he said seriously: "I just want to act well and not mess with other messy things."

Once the elder brother decides, he will naturally do it. I didn't say anything, patted him on the shoulder, and encouraged him, "Then work hard."

In the past five years, I have more or less faded away from the original edges and corners, and have mastered a bit of tact in dealing with people. The fifth anniversary of my brother's debut, I have been out of town all year round, and rarely go home;

Being in the entertainment industry, I know more about people than me.

There are a few more silver strands on my mother's temples. Apart from going to work, I often go home to accompany her on weekends, but recently I have new troubles, and I am gradually afraid to go back.

Yes, I have graduated from university for eight years, and now I am a young woman in her third year. Since ancient times, I have been standing in my thirties. Marriage has been put on the agenda by my mother. Whenever I go home, she will tell me about it intentionally or unintentionally. For this matter, I either declined or avoided it, but I still couldn't stand her earnestness.

I won't be going back this week.

In the end, I didn't want her to call, and I could feel her earnestness through the mobile phone: "You are not too young, when will you get married and give me a grandson?"

"My partner didn't have any children, and getting married is not just a family affair. Can I still just meet anyone on the street and drag him to get a certificate?"

"The main thing is that you have to have this thought. If you think it's okay, I'll help you find a few guys. Come back and have a look when you have time." Mom said.

When I heard this, I became depressed, "Forget it, I don't want such a low-level blind date."

"Then you should hold on tighter. I don't think you are in a hurry. Let me tell you, a woman will age very quickly once she is over [-], especially if you don't pay attention to maintenance. It's hard to find a partner when you're young." My mother turned on the chatterbox mode.

I stopped in time, "Young people these days are too individualistic to date, and I don't want to waste this energy... To be honest, I don't want to date yet."

"You are already thirty, when you don't have a date now, do you want to find your wife directly when you are 50 or [-]?!" Mom was depressed.

"That's the old age, that's all there is for one person." I said along the way.

The mother was angry: "I think you haven't turned your nerves yet, tell the truth, do you still think about that girl Fu Yu?"

I didn't expect my mother to mention her. When I heard this name again, my mind went blank, and I was a little dazed for a while, as if the previous past was just yesterday.

Seeing that I didn't speak, my mother sighed and hung up the phone.

"You made me rely on you, so don't try to get rid of me."

……

"You can choose a place and dig out a piece of meat, the kind that can see the bones, so that the traces will always be there."

I woke up suddenly, sweating profusely.

I touched my shoulder unconsciously, the traces were still there.

I sat up and opened the drawer of the bedside table. Inside was a box containing a few decorative red beans. The original red bean bracelet was broken after the car accident, leaving only a few beans.

Touch the neck again, and the red bean pendant is also there.

I looked at the time, it was 01:30 in the morning, and I couldn't help but sigh.

In the eighth year without Fu Yufeng, I will still miss them.