love marks

Chapter 140, It's better to be open and aboveboard if you want to hide it...

It has been half a year since Fu Yu was promoted again and went to work in a different head office.

This time is different from a business trip, is it a real long-distance relationship?

We make a phone call every day, no matter how late it is, we can only fall asleep through the phone, otherwise it seems that something is missing.

I don't know what's wrong with Fu Yu and Feng Jie. Recently, there are more and more sweet words. They obviously don't know how to say such nasty things in the past. During the time in different places, they talked all over the phone. It’s like I have to make up for it all at once, like text messages or QQ messages. I keep talking about “baby” and “dear” all day long. One sentence: "I want to say, I feel I was at a loss if I didn't say it before."

I've already said we're breaking up, and we're no longer in a relationship, but we're still doing what lovers do. I'm also very helpless about this. Since when have I become so indecisive.

Life is still going on as usual, but the uneasy feeling in my heart, the uneasy feeling that has been faint since half a year ago, has suddenly become stronger recently;

This feeling has been going on for half a year, and now it's even more wanton. Is something really going to happen?

I want to ignore this anxiety, but I can't, so I can only worry about it every day.

When talking on the phone with Fu Yu in the past two days, I clearly felt that she was emotionally impetuous and impatient, as if she was about to accomplish something, and she didn't say much when I asked her, only that her career would soon be over. It's spring.

I'm a bit puzzled, isn't she satisfied with her current situation? As the secretary to the president of HC's head office, she lives a fulfilling life every day and earns a considerable amount of money. We won't be as entangled as before. It's just average in a can, what else is she dissatisfied with?

Although I don't know what they are busy with recently, the more excited she is, the more uneasy I feel in my heart, for fear that there is something wrong with their work.

"It feels like you've been a little impetuous recently, you should calm down and don't be too impatient." I reminded.

She didn't take it seriously, she was in a very good mood, and suddenly said: "When I go back, let's get married."

I was taken aback when I heard the words, and subconsciously asked, "When are you coming back?"

"It's coming soon, within a month, we will have a trip to get married at that time, we will go to Canada to get a certificate, and then go back to China to visit all the scenic spots, and then I will buy a car..."

Listening to her ending is full of joy and happiness, I still feel very uneasy, I can't help but interrupt her, "Yu'er..."

"Huh? You said."

She stopped talking and waited. The momentary gap made me panic, "Are we... really going to get a certificate?"

"Why, you don't want to marry me?" she asked in surprise.

"No, it's just... I'm a little unsteady."

"What's unreliable, I said it too suddenly, you were scared." She didn't feel anything wrong, and said, "It's okay, there is still a month before I go back for you to prepare, what will you do by then? Don't even think about it, just follow me."

I didn't say anything more.

It feels strong, but it's just a feeling, and I don't want to dampen their enthusiasm for their work.

In the past six months, Jiang Lubai has become popular as he had expected, with constant invitations, just because he and Gu Chenghao filmed the film and television drama "Zero Degree Water Cold", which became an instant hit;

Either because of the recognition of his acting skills, or because of the joint influence of the popular star Gu Chenghao, in short, when he became popular, he gained more fans, and his identity as a singer was also discovered. He was much more popular than before. Having won the championship for several weeks, and with the precedent of filming dramas, Jiang Lubai has officially taken the all-round development route. Fans, his announcements are also overwhelmed, and his reputation is getting bigger and bigger. The security escort, with that posture, is about to catch up with the old brother and Gu Chenghao.

Gu Chenghao had nothing to say, and the elder brother was also happy to see the success: "Another star of tomorrow has risen."

"He is getting more and more popular now, his appearance rate has greatly increased, and he will catch up with you soon, do you feel lost or something?" I deliberately teased my brother.

The old man didn't think so, "Carrots and cabbages each have their own favorites, so there's no comparison."

"You are right, but recently some fans have complained that your appearance rate is too low. Apart from your works, you have not appeared in any programs, and you have not posted on Weibo. Thank you for waiting." I said, "Otherwise, I would still Give you more publicity."

"No need," the old man waved his hand, "Just take good care of young master Gu and Gu Chenghao, you know I don't like to show my face too much, otherwise with your ability, I can still calm down?"

I laugh while saying nothing.

This day, Gu Chenghao finished filming an advertisement, and just finished work, he saw a car approaching from a distance, and the car stopped not far away, Jiang Lubai walked down after a while, and went straight to Gu Chenghao.

I was a little surprised and a little relieved. He didn't take a special car, but changed to an unremarkable car to visit the class, which seemed low-key.

Now Jiang Lubai is different from the past, it can be said that he is high-spirited, and his whole body is full of endorsements and sponsorships, which is equivalent to a walking billboard, relying on the fan effect to attract many celebrities with the same style.

But fortunately, although it is very popular, Jiang Lubai still maintained his original intention and was not impetuous and proud. This surprised me a bit, but seeing how close he and Gu Chenghao are, the relationship between the two seems to be getting better and better. Well, I am also very relieved, near Zhu Zhechi, with the supervision of Gu Chenghao, a senior who is also a teacher and friend, Jiang Lubai will not go astray.

When Gu Chenghao saw Jiang Lubai coming, he went up to meet him, and the two walked aside to chat.

After I packed my things, I made sure that everything on the notepad was done, so I was about to withdraw. When I turned around and saw that the two of them were still chatting, I wanted to go up to remind them. Just as I was about to go up, I saw Jiang Lubai put a hand I pinched Gu Chenghao's buttocks, and Gu Chenghao just patted his hand, without extra performance.

But when I saw this scene, I was stunned.

I'm too familiar with the action of pinching the buttocks. Fu Zhe would often do it to my elder brother, and Feng Ji would also do it to me, so I subconsciously thought that it was a kind of flirting between lovers;

But now Jiang Lubai also does this to Gu Chenghao...

Could it be that the two of them...

No matter from which point of view, this kind of flirting is not something you can do casually, not to mention that Gu Chenghao is several years older than Jiang Lubai, and he is his senior in the circle, even if the two of them have a good relationship, it is not enough to make such a joke .

Unless that possibility...

It suddenly occurred to me that when "Zero Shui Chill" was released, the first to catch fire was "Bai Yang", the official or private CP. "Bai Yang" was the surname of the character they played, and many of their fans were CPs. Fans, even jumped out of the plot to stand on the real CP. In the beginning, for the sake of publicity, the official also acquiesced to this relationship, and it became popular for a while.

Looking at the degree of "intimacy" between the two now, wouldn't it be a fake show?

Of course, I can't conclude that other people are like me just because I bend myself.

I suppressed this thought and went to tell them to get in the car and leave. I happened to see Gu Chenghao's neckline open, and suddenly I had an idea, and I took the initiative to button him up, and helped him tidy up his clothes;

Gu Chenghao was a little flattered by my actions, and his ears were a little red; I secretly looked at Jiang Lubai's expression, and sure enough, Jiang Lubai, who was in a good mood and smiling, had an unnatural expression now. I stared at the movement for a long time without leaving my sight.

I purposely rubbed my hands against Gu Chenghao's body for a while, felt the waistcoat line on his abdomen with my fingertips, and raised the topic and said, "I'm in good shape, I have abs, how many muscles are there?"

"Six, six yuan." Gu Chenghao replied embarrassedly.

"Sister Song, your actions are a bit ambiguous. It's time for others to misunderstand, especially the paparazzi. Those people are the most suspicious." Jiang Lubai finally lost his temper, and leaned forward and said to Gu Chenghao, "I really have six-pack abs. How do I get them? I will practice someday. Which gym do you go to?"

While speaking, he seemingly inadvertently blocked my hand.

I knew it in my heart, and deliberately exposed him, "You still need to practice, don't you already have six yuan?"

"It's not obvious. It took a lot of effort to practice, but if you can't hold on, it will become one again." Jiang Lubai said.

I touched it, "Yes, let me see."

He backed away again and again, "Don't make trouble, sister Song, it's so ambiguous...it's really ambiguous."

I took advantage of the situation and replied, "It's just touching the stomach, not the buttocks, how can it be ambiguous."

The expressions of the two were instantly unnatural.

As soon as I clicked, I didn't stay any longer, just turned around and left.

They are not children, and they know how difficult this road is. Tang Ming is a lesson from the past.

Don't blame Jiang Lubai's crow's mouth, just such a small action was really seen by others, and it was so boring that it was uploaded to the media, so the story of "bone soup love" that I haven't witnessed for a long time was fired again Cold rice.

I really can’t blame people for hating media gossip. Sometimes I’m speechless. This kind of statement that was overthrown 800 years ago has been repeated after such a long time. Is it interesting? Those editors and reporters who talk about media gossip are really brainless. The hole is big enough, and a little primer can make a hole for you.

But even though it’s nothing like fried rice, this time it’s different, because there are three people involved, so I just made up a possibility of a suspected love triangle for you, but what they said was so objective and general that you couldn’t find it even if you wanted to. When you get angry, you can only suffer from being dumb.

But this is not over yet, I planned to ignore it, but the following news made me want to ignore it: I don’t know who, picked up the small details of the daily interaction between Gu Chenghao and Jiang Lubai, and revealed that the two seem to be different An ordinary relationship!

It is said to be extraordinary, but it actually refers to same-sex love. Some people say that they are very likely to fall in love with each other because of the drama, or they have a trick before filming. Filming is just an opportunity, saying that they are in an underground relationship...

One is a very popular newcomer, and the other is a big-name celebrity in the entertainment industry for a long time. This kind of news is really explosive news. Some websites crashed and paralyzed for a while, except for the Weibo of the two parties who were surrounded by fans. The organizers with whom they announced the signing relationship also called to inquire, and the studio's phone was also ringing.

We held an emergency meeting temporarily. As Jiang Lubai's boss, my brother also attended the meeting.

In the long table meeting, the two parties sat on both sides, relatively speechless.

My brother glanced at me and signaled me to start first, so I released the information I collected before and started the topic first, "Now there are a lot of discussions about the relationship between Gu Chenghao and Jiang Lubai outside, from the news we got, you guys The relationship between the two seems to be very good, if you use words that are not exaggerated to describe it, it is a bit ambiguous, looking at Renji, it is no wonder that people think there is something wrong with the two of you, what do you want to say about it?"

Gu Chenghao remained silent, Jiang Lubai asked, "Can you find out who released the news?"

"I haven't found it yet, but that's not the point. The point is that this turmoil has gone too far, and it won't go away for a while," I said, "We need to discuss countermeasures. After all, such news has no positive impact on you. Especially you, Jiang Lubai, how many followers you lost overnight, and how the public commented on you. You have seen those remarks by taking advantage of Gu Chenghao's superior position, and you have seen those remarks. Now let's think about how to respond. If such rumors Once it is confirmed, it will also have a great impact on your image, and all subsequent announcements will be cancelled, those organizers are very careful about face."

"What about Gu Chenghao? What will happen to him?" Jiang Lubai asked.

"Of course there are influences, but fortunately, he has a stable foundation. After all these years in the industry, the number of fans is also very stable, and he is his own boss, so he will not be restricted by the agency company, so the influence is not too big."

Jiang Lubai looked at Gu Chenghao for a while, his eyes were dim, and he asked, "What does Senior Gu think about this matter?"

Gu Chenghao lowered his eyes, not knowing what his expression was, and he spoke after a while, "I have nothing to say, just listen to Sister Song, and do whatever Sister Song wants to do."

I looked at Jiang Lubai, and Jiang Lubai was also looking at me. When he saw me looking at him, he turned his eyes away, and said with some emotion, "I will post on Weibo to clarify that Senior Gu and I are just good friends. As for the ambiguity, it is purely false, and the official blog will ask Sister Song to cooperate with me to deal with the aftermath."

Hearing this, Gu Chenghao looked up at Jiang Lubai, his eyes seemed a little surprised, the corners of his mouth moved but he didn't say anything.

I knew it in my heart, so I summed it up, "I know, I will use the official blog to respond in a while, which is an answer."

As soon as the meeting ended, I informed my assistant Xiao Chen to let her post on the official blog:

"I forgot where I saw this sentence. Friends of the same sex who have a good relationship look a bit like gays. There is also a sentence that people are afraid of being famous and pigs are afraid of being strong. Once they are famous, they dare not even get too close to friends of the same sex. , wouldn’t the fans be sad if they are not together in the future? I would like to thank the fans for their enthusiastic attention and hope to continue to support them in the future. I also express my congratulations to the sincere friendship of the two good brothers. I hope they can withstand the pressure and continue to achieve more excellence in the future work."

Finally, let Aite talk about the two parties involved, which can be regarded as an official response. As for how they deal with it in private, it is their business.

Looking back, he saw Jiang Lubai's sullen expression, and was thinking about whether to say something to comfort him. Gu Chenghao came out of the conference room, glanced at Jiang Lubai and walked away. Jiang Lubai hesitated for a moment but followed .

Seeing their awkward looks, I couldn't help shaking my head, and for a while I wanted to pay Yu Fengjin again.

The elder brother came over, looked around, and said in a low voice, "Come in, I have something to tell you."

I was a little surprised, "What is so mysterious?"

Back in the conference room, he checked that no one else was eavesdropping, then closed the door, walked to sit next to me, and then asked mysteriously, "Do you think there's anything wrong?"

I was slightly taken aback, but felt that what he said should be different from what I thought, so I replied with a smile, "I think something is wrong with you, what's wrong, it's mysterious."

"One thing I think is a bit strange. Whether it is my studio or Gu Chenghao's studio, every time there is a scandal, the revelations are very detailed. Although the details are more credible, have you ever thought about those details? How do outsiders know?"

"Isn't that what those entertainment and gossip reporters do? They can't wait to poke at other people's windows, and it's best to find out what brand of underwear they are wearing."

"But in the past, entertainment reporters broke the news in a general way, and most of them were based on imagination. However, the details in the news in the past two years are very in place, almost like a personal investigation. What does this mean?" the elder brother reminded.

My mood immediately sank, "You mean, there is something wrong with us."

"Haven't you thought about it?"

"I've thought about it, I've always been skeptical, but the people in the studio are all old people who have followed the studio since its establishment. I don't want to tear my face, it's not good for everyone."

Of course I thought that there was something wrong with the people around me, but I didn't want to make a big fuss. As long as it wasn't too much, I chose to turn a blind eye and close one eye. Now my brother can't help it anymore, which shows that this time is really too much up.

"Once there was a second time," said the elder brother. "Now I suspect that the explosive news in the past two years may have been leaked by that person in order to profit from it. But since you don't want to touch him now, let's Just give him another chance, but be careful in doing things in the future."

"I know."

With suspicion, I have a defensive heart towards the people around me. When I am working, I will always observe the people around me unconsciously, and guess who is more likely to "sell information";

But before I opened the net to catch the fly, he couldn't hold himself back and bumped into the muzzle of the gun.

A month later, the scandal between Gu Chenghao and Jiang Lubai had just subsided a bit. When my brother and I were still suspicious, a new incident happened: my brother who was filming on the set suddenly passed out!

After hearing the news, my assistant and I drove to the production crew immediately, and my brother had already been sent to the hospital, so we rushed to the hospital again, where my brother was being rescued in the emergency room.

I asked the staff who took my brother to the hospital about the situation, and he said that he didn't know anything, he only knew that halfway through filming, my brother suddenly seemed to be in a bad mood, and then fell to the ground and couldn't get up.

Hearing what he said was scary, my heart was also suspended, and I had a terrible illusion in my heart, as if he really couldn't get up after falling down.

Putting aside all these bluffing thoughts, I asked the assistant to go back to the crew to find out the situation, see who was there at the time, and how many people knew about this matter.

Not long after the assistant left, Fu Zhe called. On the phone, he said in an anxious tone, "I heard that your brother passed out on the set, has he been sent to the hospital? How is it now?"

I was a little surprised, "I haven't told you yet, how do you know?"

"My secretary answered the call. I was in a meeting at the time," he hurriedly explained, and then asked impatiently, "Is your brother really passed out? Is it serious?"

"I don't know, I'm still trying to rescue them."

"Which hospital?"

"XX Central Hospital."

"Understood, I'll go right now."

In less than half a day, Fu Zhe arrived.

And before I had time to say a word to him, the rescue here was over, and my brother was pushed out from inside.

The elder brother was still sleeping, and the doctor said it was because the anesthetic hadn't worked, and then asked who the family members were.

"I am," I replied, "how is my brother?"

"The patient's life is not in danger for the time being, but his condition is not stable. Next, we will do a series of physical examinations for him," said the doctor. "Now I have some questions for you. Does the patient have any other patients? , have you taken any medicine?"

Fu Zhe and I looked at each other, "No, he's in good health, there's nothing wrong with him."

"Are there any infectious diseases, edema, or dehydration symptoms?" The doctor asked again.

"No."

"Anemia?"

"I'm not anemic." The more I listened to him, the more frightening I felt. I went straight to the point, "Doctor, just tell me, what's wrong with my brother?"

The doctor had no choice but to continue, "Through the first aid just now, we found that he had hyperkalemia and hyponatremia, accompanied by hypocalcemia, crushed muscle rupture and acute pancreatitis... The initial diagnosis was acute renal failure , but we have to wait for the inspection results to be more certain about the specific situation.”

When I heard the words "acute renal failure", I just felt my legs go limp. Fortunately, Fu Zhe supported me so that I wouldn't collapse on the ground.

"Acute renal failure?" Fu Zhe was also terrified, "Doctor, are you sure, is it a wrong diagnosis?"

"I also hope that the diagnosis is wrong." The doctor looked dumbfounded.

"Then, what should I do, do I need a kidney transplant?" Fu Zhe asked again.

"It depends on the specific situation of the patient. For example, if kidney failure is treated aggressively in the early stage, it is still possible to recover. For example, kidney transplantation is an irreversible and helpless move in the later stage." The doctor replied.

"Understood, trouble the doctor."

My brain was a little blank. After the doctor left, Fu Zhe helped me to rest on the chair, still comforting me, "It will be fine, as you have heard from the doctor, as long as it is not in the advanced stage, it can be cured. At worst, we can change it." Kidney."

I don't know what to say, I just hold his hand tightly, as if this is the only way to prove that I am not the only one who is suffering the shock.

Acute renal failure, if it's true... how should I explain to my mother.

It's all good, why is it kidney failure?

After being diagnosed, it is acute renal failure. Fortunately, it was discovered early. As long as the patient is actively treated, it can be recovered without a kidney transplant. This is a blessing among misfortunes.

My brother is in the hospital, and the filming process has also been delayed, but there is nothing I can do about it. The early publicity is sufficient, and a temporary change of actors will not work. After all, many people are diehard fans of my brother, just for my brother The drama I just chased.

But on my brother's side, it is not yet certain when he will be discharged from the hospital.The elder brother suggested that if not, he should replace him and find someone to act in his place.

It's not a good choice, but there is no better way, and even if my brother is discharged from the hospital, I don't intend to let him work again for a while.

"Then do you have a suitable candidate?"

"Jiang Lubai."

"Jiang Lubai?" I was surprised, "How could it be him?"

"Why can't it be him?"

"His temperament does not match, and his age is also very different. He can't play that kind of mature and mature sense of stability. This role is a test of an actor's acting skills." However, taking over your role at this time, I'm afraid the impact will not be good."

"There's nothing bad about it, it's nothing more than doubts about stealing my role." The old man didn't take it seriously, "The best thing about an actor's acting skills is to accept different roles and play what he looks like. I haven't tried you yet. How can you be sure that he can't act, temperament can be reshaped, age difference is not a problem, can it be solved by putting on makeup, as for investors and fans, there is still you, isn't there?"

Speaking of this, the old man smiled, and said quite gratifiedly, "With you here, I can rest assured."

"It's really not easy to hear a compliment from your mouth." As I said that, I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm serious, really," my brother patted my hand, a little proud, "I've lived all these years, and what makes me most proud is not how successful my career is, or finding a lover, but having You sister, this is my capital that is always worth showing off."

I was so embarrassed by the words, "Don't flatter me, don't be afraid that I will be proud."

"You have the capital to be proud, what are you afraid of." The old man smiled, and then said again, "I'm a little sleepy, I want to sleep for a while, you can go to work."

"Okay, then I'll go first."

After covering my brother with a quilt, I turned and left the hospital.

Originally, I was a little worried that my brother's hospitalization would cause another wave, although I also planned to mention that my brother chose to be absent due to physical reasons when announcing the change of actors in the new drama on the official blog;

But it wasn't until we officially replaced Jiang Lubai as the new leading actor, and a statement was issued on the official blog, that they didn't know that my brother had resigned, so it was all comments that fans cared about.Nothing else, and none of the gossip.

I was a little surprised by this. After all, there were many people watching when the crew was filming, and no one leaked the news.

However, I still think it is simple.

Just when I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that I didn't have to deal with those moths any more, comforted the emotions of the fans, and concentrated on preparing for my brother's discharge from the hospital, the assistant called me and asked me to go back to the studio as soon as possible. As soon as I got out of the car, I found that the entrance of the building was blocked by a group of media reporters.

Just as he was about to run away, he was recognized by sharp-eyed reporters, so he was reluctantly surrounded by those reporters.

"Agent Tang, I'm from XX Entertainment. According to informed sources, the popular star Tang Ming has been hospitalized due to physical reasons?"

Because I mentioned it on the official blog before, I didn't deny it: "Yes, but my health has improved and I will be discharged from the hospital soon."

"I heard that there is a problem with the kidneys. Is it because of acute kidney failure that caused the shock on the set?"

I was surprised, how did they know it was kidney failure?

Just when I was thinking about how to answer, a question from the reporter next to me didn't blow my mind: "Agent Tang, I also heard that during Tang Ming's hospitalization, a friend of his same sex stayed with him in the hospital. This person is said to be The actor who starred in the Danmei online drama with him before, is this true?"

"Who did you hear?"

"Agent Tang, Manager Tang, please answer my question again. They say that Tang Ming and that friend of the same sex have an unusual relationship. Some people have seen them go out and go shopping together in pairs many times. May I ask what is the relationship between Tang Ming and that friend? What kind of relationship, it won't be true as the rumors say, it's not an ordinary friend but a lover relationship?"

I just felt annoyed when I heard the words, "Who said that, where did the rumors come from..."

"Manager Tang, Manager Tang, just tell us."

Looking at the gloomy reporters, I just feel dizzy. Didn’t they all live in peace before? Why did they all show up all of a sudden, and they all came with “evidence”? How did they know such details? , where did you get the news...

It's an insider playing tricks again!

This person is really afraid that the world will not be chaotic.

The group of people in front of me were still making noise, but I didn't have the patience to talk nonsense with them, so I calmly replied, "I'm sorry, I still have work to do, and I won't accept interviews for now. Go back first. If you have any questions, we will meet you in a few days." Hold a press conference and I will answer your questions at that time."

Having said that, I just walked forward on my own.

They were still reluctant, "Agent Tang, please tell us a few words, Manager Tang, don't leave..."

At this time, the assistant Xiao Chen and several security guards ran over to maintain order, "We don't accept interviews, please go back."

The two gangs were in a stalemate, the more noisy they were, the more I wanted to escape. In the chaos, someone behind me pushed me hard, and I suddenly lost my center of gravity, and fell to the ground with a pounce.

"Don't squeeze, don't squeeze, Sister Song has fallen!" Xiao Chen shouted.

Then they tried to help me to get up. They said they were helping me, but in fact they were dragging me. Because two groups of people were trying their best, I almost snatched it up. I lived up to the expectations and fell again.

"Sister Song!" After a shout, the scene suddenly fell silent.

I looked up at them suspiciously, each of them had a stiff and strange expression, no one stood still, so there would be no more crowding and arguing, each of them was stunned.

I didn't react until I wanted to get up and found the problem:

Two falls and my prosthetic was out of place.

The leg is crooked on the ground at a strange angle that a normal person's leg would never have. People who don't know it will think it is a broken bone.

No wonder they were all dumbfounded, no one would have thought of this accident.

"Sister Song...your leg...?!" Assistant Xiao Chen's face turned pale, and suddenly shouted again, "Call 120!"

When a group of people were in a hurry to find their mobile phones, I stopped them calmly, "Don't bother, it's a prosthetic, just put it on."

Then, under their surprised eyes, I calmly took off the prosthesis and put it on again.

This is the first time since I stepped into the society that I have exposed my flaws in front of outsiders. It was still in broad daylight and under the eyes of everyone. There was no thigh, and then stood up calmly, without saying a word, turned around and left gracefully.

They didn't catch up again.

I knew that the matter would not end, the next day, various websites and media still broke the news that the famous celebrity Tang Ming was suspected of being gay, not only that, but also the news that I made an embarrassment in public yesterday was also on the headlines of the hot search.

Jiang Lubai was stunned, and Gu Chenghao was worried, "Sister Song, what should I do?"

But I was rarely relaxed. After one night, I also wanted to understand that what should come will always come, and I can't stop it.

"Cold."

If we lose our horses, we can't know what a blessing is.