Whisper unintentionally

30.

"You don't want to comment?" Kou Yan'er asked in a flat tone.

"It's too early to evaluate. I want to ask more questions." Xu Xiaomai remembers that Kou Yaner repeatedly told students in class that they should not simply use the only standard of "morality" to evaluate people and things, let alone use it lightly. Psychoanalysis.Xu Xiaomai very much agrees with this point of view.She wants to know "why" more now.

"You ask." Since Kou Yan'er decided to tell her own story, she didn't want to hide anything anymore.

"Why? Why do you give up your principles so easily when it comes to your choice of love and marriage?"

"If I told you that I didn't have a clear principle at the time, would you believe me?" Kou Yaner asked back.

"Is it a question? If it is, I will answer it." Xu Maimai continued not to answer, she did not want to express her opinion.

"Then I won't ask. I'll answer your question directly. At that time, I didn't know what a happy family was or what love was. There was love everywhere in TV, movies and books, but I didn't believe it at all. Two types, the more popular the novel, the easier it is to see wonderful love, the more famous it is, the harder it is to find perfect love. In life, I always see my mother’s angry eyes, and what I hear is her love for that man. I can't find any good life model. So I don't have any expectations, and I don't have any vision for marriage. At best, I just choose to get married between "married" and "not married". If "married" "It can also help me find a job I like, which is more acceptable. As for this man, as long as I don't hate him, I will accept it."

Xu Xiaomai looked at Kou Yaner in disbelief.She has always felt that Kou Yaner is an extremely romantic person, and her taste will not reveal any worldly character in her.

Before Xu Xiaomai could ask the next question, Kou Yaner said, "It's my turn to ask."

Kou Yan'er really needed to take a breath, it was much easier to ask questions. "Do you still love that girl?"

"I don't love anymore."

"why?"

"Second question. Answers next round."

"It's still the first question. I didn't say hello just now, but your answer was too simple. If you have this attitude, I will answer you in the same way." Kou Yan'er has not adapted to the rules of the game, so he can only play tricks.

"Okay, I'll give you a chance to cheat. Love can change your mind and make choices, but it can't make the person who loves you lose his dignity. The dignity I'm talking about is not the kind of aggressiveness that wants to defeat someone, I'm talking about it." Dignity is to appear upright as a competitor, but she never gave me a fair chance, she cheated from the beginning to the end, she leaned into my arms and said she couldn't leave me, but in her heart she never gave me a fair chance. I was not prepared to fight against my family. And I was like a fool, believing in everything, believing that her sneaking was a "difficulty", that her cheating was a "roundabout tactic", and that her words were "love". In the end, it turned out that she hoped Don't lose both ends, I'll be her secret lover. This hurt is unforgivable. Well, it's my turn to ask."

Xu Xiaomai continued to ask, "Luo Xue said that you have never been short of boys to pursue. Why do you still say that you don't believe in love and don't know what love is? Isn't there a boy who impresses you?"

Kou Yaner thought for a long time, and it seemed difficult to answer, so when she spoke, her tone was a little confused and uncertain, "I don't know why, but there are many boys chasing after me, but no one has ever impressed me. They always like to say that I am beautiful , Saying that I have amazing athletic ability, that’s all. In fact, when I was praised by the stars, these words didn’t move me at all, because I heard too much, and no one cared about my anxiety in learning. After I was hurt, these words couldn't move me even more, because I found that these words were useless. In my most desperate and painful time, there is no one to share your pain. Without these little boys to help you stand up, you You can only rely on yourself. After I go to college, I can go to the library, watch movies, listen to music, and slowly start to recover a little exercise, swimming and running. I think all these things I like don’t need company, Chatting with them is far less interesting than reading and listening to music. I go to the movies with boys, and they will keep taking care of you, asking if you want to eat popcorn, ask if you want to drink water, or just eat and drink by yourself and run to the toilet .It seems that movies are not the point for them at all."

Xu Xiaomai laughed.The last few words, but still have a sense of the picture, so I added, "Do you still want to kiss you in the dark?"

"It's not your turn to ask questions yet. Don't answer. I'll ask next." Kou Yan'er finally got used to the rules of the game.

"Did you see that girl later? If we meet again, how would you feel? Do you still not love?" Kou Yan'er seems to be still struggling with this girl.Or maybe she was still not sure if Xu Xiaomai really didn't love her anymore.

"I've seen her, and not just once." Xu Xiaomai played with the wine glass in her hand, and when the glass was already empty, she turned the wine glass greatly, staring at the glass. "Do you know why I went to see her?"

Of course Kou Yan'er didn't answer.

"I just want to see if she's doing well. I want to hear her complain to me, so that I can get back at her with sarcasm."