Whisper unintentionally

29.

Xu Mai's love story is over.In the afternoon, she felt that the popular science she told was like a story, and now it came again, but she told her own story as if she was telling popular science knowledge, simple, plain and true, without concealment, and without emotion.To be precise, it does not show emotion.

After playing all day, Little Button was so tired that he went to bed early.Xu Maimai and Kou Yaner were sitting at the bar not far from the swimming pool.This conversation is serious and requires the right environment.

"A lizard with a broken tail." Kou Yan'er stared at the direction of the swimming pool in the dark, the shadows of the trees were dancing, and he fully understood what Xu Maimai said at dinner.Kou Yan'er still clearly remembered the proud attitude of that big lizard.It's really an inspiring piece of advice.

"Then why were you scared like that by the lizard this afternoon?" Kou Yan'er asked.

"Is it a question? If I answer it, I will start counting." Xu Xiaomai was finally able to speak out about the humiliation many years ago, and she felt a lot more relaxed.

Kou Yaner didn't even think about it, "It doesn't count, I won't ask." This question is actually not important, she has many deep questions.

"Then, tell your love story. After we finish, let's ask together and each other." Xu Xiaomai couldn't wait to know about Kou Yaner.

"My story is not a love story." Kou Yan'er corrected, took a sip from the wine glass, and took a deep breath.Telling a story that you have no love is as ridiculous as exposing yourself as illiterate, so it takes more courage.

"My story probably has to start with my parents." Kou Yan'er looked at Xu Xiaomai, "Don't worry about the story being too long. Even if it starts with my parents, it won't be very long. A mediocre life just has no drama. And twists and turns, the same thing, it doesn’t take much time to talk about it.”

"My father and my mother divorced very early. Some people complained that my father is a back view of myself. In fact, it is not bad. To me, my father is not even a back view, just a noun. My mother and I are two people Life. My mother is very strong by nature, and a failed marriage may have made her more competitive."

"My mother used to be a staff member of the sports academy, so my athletic ability was discovered very early. Then she saw the light of hope in life, and she thought I could bring her infinite glory. However, sports are just fun for me , is a hobby. I don't want to compete with others at all, and I don't want to do a lot of difficult moves that I can't do in order to win. I'm afraid of the feeling of falling. I'm afraid of pain and shame. But I don't The ability to resist, I can only practice and practice, fall and fall."

"Sports are similar to art. They are both dominant abilities, and it is easy to stand out from the crowd. As Cher said, I am very famous in school. But in fact, I am not happy at all. My grades are poor, which makes me I often feel like a fool. The teacher takes good care of me and almost never asks me questions in class, and my grades do not participate in the ranking of the whole class. On the surface I am admired by the stars, but in fact I am a weird existence. I slowly become more and more isolated."

"Xue'er is very good to me, she is my only friend. I rely on her very much in my study, when I can't understand her explanation, she even helps me with my homework, and especially practiced imitating my handwriting .More importantly, she can help me stop the pursuit of those little boys. I thought I could finish my middle school under the protection of Cher. But, I finally fell a big one in a competition, and I didn’t fall Being crippled is considered a blessing.”

"Leave school for a year and go back to school. Xue'er and the others have already gone to college, and I became a poor repeater. I didn't know anyone, and I was alone facing those textbooks that made me dizzy. Gymnastics was out of the question, so I picked up my books and got back to living like you all. That's the life I really wanted to live. But for my mom, it was all hopeless. This reality cannot be accepted.”

"Everything went smoothly afterwards. I graduated from university and continued to study for a master's degree. I have already let my mother down once. I must at least be like you in terms of academics, find a good job, and maintain my mother's face. Then, at my mother's request, I went on a blind date. That is the son of the Director of the Personnel Department of our Physical Education Institute."

Kou Yaner stopped, took a sip of wine, and lit a cigarillo.

Xu Xiaomai knew that it was time to get into the main topic of the story, but she had already vaguely guessed the result.

"My mother told me every day that your physical education major is nothing, and you can't find a fucking job. Staying in the university and teaching is the best ending for you."

It was not difficult for Xu Xiaomai to guess the tone and appearance of Kou Yaner's mother when she said this. Many, many mothers used this tone.

"You should have guessed it later, right? I fell in love with Director Li's son, and Director Li managed to get me a place to stay in school. Two years later, we got married and gave birth to little button. That's it, I That's the story."

Kou Yan'er turned his eyes to the darkness, but did not look at Xu Mai.

"Then, let's go to the questioning session now, who will ask first?" Xu Xiaomai knew that the core content should be found in the following session.Kou Yaner has always mixed her own feelings in the previous narration, but from the love part, she just finished talking in a few words, without her own feelings, without self-justification, and without any details.