i think i still love you

It's almost reflexively red.

"I can't let it go anymore." Gu Yifei didn't look up, but his voice was a little unsteady.

"..." Xiao Yifan didn't continue.

"I really have nothing with Chen Hai. I took you back to break Chen Hai's thoughts. I don't love him, but I can't just watch him destroy himself." Gu Yifei explained.

Xiao Yifan laughed after hearing this, shook his head and said with a long breath, "Is this what you wanted to tell me these two years?"

Gu Yifei shook his head and paused for a long time before saying, "I don't know how to express, how to describe the position of you and Chen Xing in my heart. Chen Hai told me about your conversation. I didn't know that you were not because of Chen Hai that day."

Thinking back to that day, Xiao Yifan's heart ached, and he clenched his hands tightly.

"Yifan, you know, it's impossible for me to forget Chen Xing, it's beyond my control." Gu Yifei paused at this point, "He died because of me, and he had the surgery to accommodate me. How to forget, it's not that I don't want to forget, it's that I can't forget at all." Tears gathered in the corners of Gu Yifei's eyes little by little.

"I know" Xiao Yifan nodded, the pain in his heart gradually became stronger.

"I've never regarded you as his substitute. In fact, you are completely different from him. I...I...I'm with you because I really love you." Gu Yifei tilted his head, tears didn't even slide down his cheeks, He hit the back of his hand heavily along the eyelashes.

Hearing "love", Xiao Yifan couldn't control his emotions at all, he covered his heart and tears silently dripped down his chin into the black woolen coat.

"I used to be too slow. You never asked for it. I thought what I gave was enough. I didn't know until you left, but it seemed a bit late. I sold drugs and I couldn't get a visa. I used It took me two years to get the visa." Gu Yifei continued.

"Then Xu Chenxing asked if you want it?" Xiao Yifan turned his head and looked into Gu Yifei's eyes and asked.

"I..." Gu Yifei was speechless, "Aren't you and him..."

Xiao Yifan interrupted Gu Yifei's words, "Gu Yifei...it's late, here..." Xiao Yifan pointed to the position on his heart, "You scraped away the three words Gu Yifei with your own hands."

"I'm sorry." Gu Yifei didn't know what else to say at this moment.

"Gu Yifei, do you know why I was suddenly excited just now?" Xiao Yifan said.

Gu Yifei didn't answer.

"Because...it's because of you...my child is three years old, he can't...can't speak." Xiao Yifan was so choked up that he couldn't speak a whole sentence.In the past few years, many things have been relieved, but the little stone is the pain that he can't bring up.

Gu Yifei was stunned like a thunderbolt above his head.

"You told me how to forgive you. It's not because you, Xiaoshi, won't be born prematurely. He doesn't need to be connected to a ventilator, and his vocal cords won't be damaged. He won't undergo surgery over and over again here. Gu Yifei...you Tell me...how can I forgive you." Xiao Yifan just looked straight at Gu Yifei, letting tears flow down his face like a river, as if he was so thin that he might fall down at any time.

"So... you came to the United States to give Xiaoshi..." Gu Yifei's mind was blank now.

"Gu Yifei, let me go, I can't love anymore, I really can't love anymore." Xiao Yifan begged, tugging at Gu Yifei's collar.

"No, no, Xiaofan, no, let me love, I will love, give me another chance to redeem my sins?" Gu Yifei rubbed Xiao Yifan into his arms.

……

……

After calming down, Xiao Yifan stood up and turned around and said to Gu Yifei, "You go, we really can't do it anymore, I will take care of Xiao Shitou, maybe... I will find him a mother, you know I like it except you It's all women."

"Yifan, it doesn't matter who you like, I won't give up on you again." Gu Yifei also said firmly.

"There was a person who gambled like this before, and then...he lost"

The corner of Xiao Yifan's mouth twitched into a mocking smile.

(38)

That conversation was not a successful one, but it was enough to make Gu Yifei realize that some things were not as simple as he thought, and Xiao Yifan came to the convenience store much less since then.On the contrary, Gu Yifei's pancake stand has become a well-known snack in the neighborhood. It was originally just a way to catch up with his wife, but now it has become a profitable business, and the income is quite considerable. He really has no money now. This business is at least enough He paid for the 3 employees he raised in vain in the US investment company.

When Xiao Yifan happened to pass by one day, he saw a small cart expanded from Gu Yifei's pancake stand, which said "Osmanthus wine brewed dumplings", and there was a boy in his twenties standing beside him.

Xiao Yifan glanced at it, and entered the convenience store, and just as he went out after shopping, he saw Gu Yifei standing at the door with a bento box waiting for him.

Xiao Yifan looked down and said nothing.

"Bring it back to Xiao Shitou to taste." Gu Yifei grinned.

"How much, I'll pay you." Xiao Yifan asked.

Gu Yifei said "tsk" and said, "I haven't paid my son's support for several years, what kind of money do you pay?"

Xiao Yifan's face darkened immediately, and he pushed him away.

Gu Yifei hurried to catch up and pulled Xiao Yifan, "Yifan, Yifan, it's actually for you to eat. Where did Xiaoshi eat so much?"

"Who cares about this with you!" Xiao Yifan said sternly.

"what is that?"

Xiao Yifan lowered his voice and said, "You promised me, Little Stone has nothing to do with you."

Gu Yifei's smile was stiff, and he gradually lost his smile and returned to seriousness, and nodded "Yes".

Xiao Yifan couldn't bear it, but his reason told him not to be entangled.

"Then you take this first. You probably won't be able to eat it in the United States for so many years. When you are pregnant with a small stone, you can eat it if you can't eat anything else. I'm afraid this kid will like it too." Gu Yifei took the bento box in his hand Hand it over again.

Xiao Yifan did not seem too magnanimous for not taking it this time, so he took it.

Xiaoshi naturally likes this kind of fragrant and sweet food, but the little guy has been accumulating food for the past few days, and the balls are not easy to digest. Xiao Yifan gave him a few to satisfy his cravings and dared not let him eat more , there was more than half a bowl left, Xiao Yifan ate all the soup under Xiao Shitou's eager gaze, and the taste didn't change at all. After eating, he felt a little moved in his heart.

……

……

"8 knives a piece, it's too dark! Why didn't he grab the money!" Xiao Yifan and Xiao Shitou were holding a box of wine rice balls at the dining table, and Xiao Yifan was thinking about it.After eating it, Xiao Yifan's greedy worms have been hooked out, but he can't put down his face to eat it, so he has to ask others to bring it for him. It's fine if the portion is half less than the first time, and the price is not cheap.

Little Stone looked at him and smiled.

"What are you laughing at?" Xiao Yifan flicked the little stone, got up and went to open the door for the person who rang the doorbell.

Xiao Yifan opened the door and paused with a smile. It was the boy from Gu Yifei's booth who came. He carried a bag and handed it to Xiao Yifan with a smile, "Brother Gu asked me to bring it over."

Xiao Yifan opened it and looked at a large box of Jiuniang Yuanzi, and looked at him inexplicably.

"Well, brother Gu asked me to tell you, don't ask someone else to bring it next time, and let me give you one every day from now on." The boy said with a crisp voice and a smile.

"I... Please tell him that you don't need to give it to me." Xiao Yifan was a little embarrassed, he didn't know how Gu Yifei knew.

"Brother, I'm just a food delivery person, not a messenger. If you have anything to say, you can tell Brother Gu yourself. I know the boss wants me to deliver it." The boy said crisply.

"Then how can you bring him..."

Before Xiao Yifan finished speaking, the boy left a "goodbye" and ran away.

Xiao Yifan opened the bag and saw that there was a big box full, and he muttered, "Send it early! Isn't this a waste of money!"

That night Xiao Yifan took Xiaoshi tablets and fell asleep rubbing his stomach.

……

……

Xiao Zhengyan did not know where Gu Yifei came to the United States, and he wanted to fly over to see him, but during this period of time his blood pressure was always high and could not drop, Xiao Yifan was really worried about taking the long-distance plane, after haggling a few times The two sides reached an agreement to let Ma Ning come over for Xiao Zhengyan.

When I met Ma Ning in a foreign country, I had no relationship with them, but I felt a little bit of intimacy. When we ate together, Ma Ning kept putting small stones on his lap without taking a few bites.

Xiao Yifan took some vegetables and said, "Uncle Ma, don't just feed him, he can eat by himself, you can eat it yourself."

Ma Ning seemed to be more interested in Xiao Shitou and said, "Your dad must be very happy to see Xiao Shitou growing up so fast."

Xiao Yifan returned to the country once in two years. As a son, he was really unfilial, and asked with some guilt, "How is my father's health these days? Is his blood pressure still unstable?"

Ma Ning smiled and said, "There are good times and bad times. The more I am at home, the better he can control. I am busy with work and he doesn't eat on time. He is always stubborn and refuses to listen."

"My dad is like this, and there was only Xiaodong before..." Xiao Yifan quickly retracted his words and said, "My dad is very stubborn."

Ma Ning smiled and said, "He's still quite worried about you, so let's go back to China sometime later. This time, after he heard that Gu Yifei came to look for you, he couldn't eat any food in a hurry."

Xiao Yifan bowed his head guiltily and said, "Blame me, I always don't let him worry, but he didn't cause me any trouble when he came, and I don't know how my dad knew."

"I said so." Manning said.

"Huh? You..." Xiao Yifan asked.

Ma Ning went on to say, "The company had a loan last month, which happened to be made by his company. I talked about him when I was chatting with the chairman of his company."

"Oh, that's it." Xiao Yifan didn't ask further.

"It's really hard for him to find you. In the past two years