you are the minutiae of the world

When I came out of the Internet cafe, the rain was over and the sky was fine. Until now, I still remember the breeze that blew across my cheeks. I stayed up all night but I was still full of energy. I went back to school quickly, wanting to wash my face before class, Then I saw Du Chen at the door of the dormitory. He looked like he was waiting for me. At that time, the school was very quiet and most of the students hadn't gotten up yet. Du Chen leaned against the wall of the door and played with his mobile phone with his head down.

When I saw him, I stopped in my tracks, lowered my head and smiled slowly.

I slowly walked to his side, my footsteps were very light, but he still heard it. He looked back from the phone and looked at me: "Where are you going?" Put it in your trouser pocket: "It's amazing, and you've learned how to stay out at night? Why, relying on me to mess with you, the housekeeper won't check on you?"

What he said made me feel interesting, I smiled and nodded: "Yes, don't you talk about covering me?"

He froze for a moment, and then laughed together: "Where did you go?"

"That Internet cafe you often go to," I replied.

"What are you doing?"

"Go online."

"Really?" He glanced at me suspiciously: "Watching a TV series all night?"

"Uh...yes," I hesitated for a moment, fearing that he would see something, I hurriedly said, "Ah, I'm so tired, I'm going to face-washing class." After finishing speaking, I was ready to run away , Du Chen grabbed my arm and looked at me: "Are you hiding something from me?"

"No," I shook my head again and again: "I haven't."

"Really?" Du Chen raised his eyebrows, pointed to an umbrella in the opposite corner: "Look at what that is?"

I turned my head and saw the umbrella. It was the umbrella I lost when I caught him kissing a girl yesterday. I brought this umbrella from my home in the country. It has been used for many years and there are traces of repairs on it. I'm the only one still using an umbrella like this.

"Did you see it?" he asked.

I hesitated for a moment, nodded, suddenly felt a little sad, rolled my eyes, stayed on Du Chen's rosy lips for a few seconds, and then left quickly. I don't want to recall that scene yesterday.

"I saw it when I saw it," Du Chen said casually, "Why run away if you have nothing to do?"

"I..." I hesitated for a while, I didn't know how to tell Du Chen, it was impossible to confess my love to him - after checking the information all night, I knew very well the hardships behind the word homosexuality, even though I'm not afraid, but I don't want him to be hurt. Du Chen likes girls, but this doesn't affect my liking for him. These were my naive and beautiful thoughts at that time. When I first discovered my sexuality, I didn't have time to be shocked. The first thing is to protect the young man next to me: "The school does not allow puppy love," I made up a reason: "I... I was afraid, so I ran away."

"You're so brave, how dare you," he stretched out his hand to pat my hair, and spoke in a teasing tone, but there was no teasing emotion in his eyes. I was both surprised and happy, I took a step back subconsciously, covered my head with my hand, and murmured Language: "I didn't wash my hair..."

"Fuck..." He put his hand under his nose and sniffed, a little speechless: "I forgot you just came out of the Internet cafe."

"How about...go to the bathroom to wash?" I asked cautiously.

"Aren't you going to wash up?" He said, "Get your things and go to the bathroom. I have something to tell you."

I oh, turned around and entered the room obediently, took out the things to wash my hair and face, and went to the bathroom with Du Chen.

Each floor of the school dormitory has a toilet and a bathroom for students to use, 24-hour hot water supply, very convenient.I followed Du Chen to the bathroom only to find that he woke up very early today. I wonder if he was waiting for me on purpose. He wanted to ask but dared not. His hesitant appearance caught Du Chen's attention: "What do you want to ask me?" ?”

"It's nothing."

"Really? Just wondering who was with me yesterday?"

"Who is it?" I asked casually.

"You boy," Du Chen heard the perfunctory in my words, and was amused: "What's going on today, you're so casual, usually you'd be surprised if there's any disturbance around me, why are you so calm today?"

"I usually...do you look like that?" I blinked, stunned, did I fall in love with him a long time ago?So obvious?

"Haha," Du Chen laughed twice: "Yeah, I have to follow me no matter what, I wish my eyes were glued to me, you can't see it as a brother?" Du Chen seemed to smile a little deeper as he spoke, He lowered his head and looked at me quietly: "Wang Jin, you don't like me, do you?"

I suddenly opened my eyes wide, and the pot in my hand suddenly fell to the ground with a loud noise. I looked like someone had been stabbed in my mind, and hurriedly denied: "No, no, no."

He slowly restrained his smile, bent down and picked up the basin and toothbrush that had fallen on the ground for me, then walked around me and put them under the faucet.

I heard his voice, faintly, but I couldn't see his expression.

He said: "Why are you nervous? There's nothing wrong with liking it. Otherwise, give it a try and see if you can catch me."

When I heard what he said clearly, my heart, which was beating fast because of the panic, started beating even faster. I swallowed, my Adam's apple continued to slide up and down, and my hands even trembled slightly: "You... what did you say? ?”

He was silent, turned on the water, and put the hand that touched my hair just now under the faucet to rinse it slowly.

I moved my steps, walked slowly to his side, stretched out my hand to pinch the towel, and asked again uncertainly: "Don't you...have a girlfriend?"

He turned off the water, shook the water, and dried the water on his hands, then took out a cigarette from a pocket and lit it, put it in his mouth and took a puff, and slowly exhaled the smoke. I stood very close to him and was caught He choked on the smoke, covered his mouth and coughed a few times.

"See if you work hard enough." He said through the smoke.

I thought this sentence was an encouragement to me, I thought he at least liked me, I thought he was giving me a chance.It wasn't until a long, long time later that I realized that when he smoked, the smoke covered his eyes, and I was too happy to see the mockery and hatred in his eyes.

As a timid person, in my sophomore year of high school, I started to take it seriously, leaving everything behind to pursue someone I like.I didn't tell anyone about this love, as long as he knew it was fine.Although I don't have the ability to do many things for him, I have passion and love.

Look, what kind of spirit is this newborn calf is not afraid of tigers.

Originally, I thought I had nothing to lose, but I didn't expect that everything I could have in the end was worthless in his eyes. What does he think of me?A guinea pig, a tool for revenge, nothing more than an insignificant thing.

When he talked and laughed, he pushed me into the abyss.