you are the minutiae of the world

The encounter with Du Chen was something I never expected. After that year, we had no contact with each other. We were originally people from two worlds, but we accidentally had an intersection.I met again when I was struggling to find a little meaning in life, which made me irritated——his abrupt performance was the same, with an affectionate appearance, asking for warmth, carefully, and sending sunflowers full of hope, which seemed like a stumbling pursuit Poor man in love.

Sitting on the bed in the tiny house, I took off my baggy pants and then my right leg.It is a prosthesis, and I haven’t worn it for many years. After all, I couldn’t afford it a few years ago and could only live on crutches. I bought a pair, and I specially customized an expensive one. There are too few things in this world that belong to me, but at least I can still have a leg—re-lighting the right to walk.

As for why the leg is gone...

That was the story that happened after Du Chen told me that he would make a promise with his body.

I don’t know if you have such feelings, but one day there will suddenly be a person’s face playing in a loop in your mind. Every time it flashes, your chest feels like being soaked in warm water. It is warm and comfortable. It was touched by him There seemed to be warmth in his neck.

I have more contacts with Du Chen, which makes me so happy that I can't sleep. When he is breathing in the corridor, my eyes follow him, and then he will turn around and wave to me. I can't hide my happiness from the classroom. Li walked quickly to his side and looked up at him.

But I still couldn't find anything to talk to him about, but I wanted to talk to him so much, I thought, maybe I need to learn about the interesting things in their mouths - idols, gossip, sneakers, sports and toys.So every time Du Chen chatted with his gang of brothers, I listened very carefully, and almost took a notebook to record it. I hope that one day I can chat with him alone, so that he won't feel I am bored.

"Hi?" Du Chen patted my head and asked me: "I'm so fascinated by listening, you also like to get a school belle in junior high school?"

I quickly shook my head and denied it flatly: "How is it possible!"

Seeing how I reacted so strongly, he smiled: "Why are you so scared and disgusted by others?"

As soon as he said this, the eyes of the brothers around him all fell on me. I was so nervous that I didn't know what to do. I was afraid that if this word spread out, people would laugh at me—what kind of person am I and what qualifications do I have? Dislike the school belle of the junior high school?

"How dare I..." I retorted in a low voice: "I...I...she is very beautiful, I can't climb high."

"You are quite self-aware as a follower," I heard his friend say, "Know what kind of bird you are, hahaha."

My head is even lower, I know that they are being merciful when they say such words. Back then, I was a cowardly boy with low self-esteem.

"Why can't I climb to the top?" Du Chen raised his eyebrows, pinched my chin and lifted my pity vigorously, looked at it for a moment, sighed, and said: "It seems to make sense. There is nothing shining beyond that point, you can't find your looks if you throw it into the crowd, and you can't see it if you match it with a beautiful one, but," he said, he suddenly pulled me into his arms, like two brothers With a good look, he solemnly said to the people around him: "No matter how ordinary my family Wang Jin looks, you can't call him. Did you hear me, I will cover this person from now on."

I don't know if Du Chen heard it, but my heart was beating so fast, thumping, as if it was about to pop out of my heart.

I became Du Chen's follower, worthy of the name, willingly.

I skip class when he skips class, I go with him when he goes to drink, I watch TV next to him when he plays games, I cook for him when he eats, I take the initiative to wash his clothes when he gets dirty, as long as he wants to find me, he turns around , I am always there.But I still couldn't get into Du Chen's circle of friends, and he never introduced me to his friends. I followed him like a real follower, watching them laugh and play, drinking and having fun, while I , just pay attention to Du Chen's state, send him back to the dormitory when he is drunk, buy food for him when he is tired from playing games, and take notes for him when he doesn't want to go to class.

I don't think there is anything strange about this, because he asked me to do these things for him is enough to satisfy me.

The turning point happened in the second semester of the second year of high school. In the autumn of the second semester of the second year of high school, I still remember that it had just started to rain that day, and the road was wet. I went to find Du Chen, but he was not in the dormitory. His roommate said he was a little Things went out, and when I came back, I found that it was raining again. I was afraid that he would get wet without an umbrella, so I took an umbrella and waited for him on the only way back to the dormitory.

I was only wearing a long sleeve that day, it was getting dark, the wind was blowing and the rain was wet and cold, I held my umbrella and stood there rubbing my hands, but I didn’t want to go back.

I waited for more than half an hour, and I saw Du Chen coming from the opposite side. Before I had time to wave to him excitedly, I saw him walking with a tall girl. They were walking. Suddenly I turned to a small forest beside me, and I followed in without hesitation.

I saw him kiss the girl.

My hand holding the umbrella was trembling, my lips were tightly pursed, feeling angry for the first time in my life.I want to rush to pull them away, I want to question Du Chen why he kissed her, I am so sad that tears will stay—even if I am only a teenager, I have not shed tears for a long, long time, after all, I grew up on relief. Who has the right to cry?Tears can't solve the problem. I am very pitiful, but I don't need pity. This is the comfort I gave myself when I accepted the funding.But at that minute, I really wanted to cry.But I restrained, I found that I am not normal.

I'm jealous, jealous of a girl.

Why should I be jealous of a girl?

I ran away in a panic and accidentally dropped the umbrella on the ground.

I ran away from bed that night, I rushed outside, walking aimlessly.

The rain was getting heavier and heavier, so I had to find a place to hide from the rain. When I looked up, I didn't expect to walk into the Internet cafe that Du Chen often went to.I fumbled in my pocket, and there were several hundred yuan, which was given to me by Du Chen. He asked me to refill his meal card, but I didn't make it in time.

For the first time, I opened a box alone and opened a computer.

I didn't realize until the next day that I was gay.

I fell in love with a man, his name is Du Chen.

I didn't feel scared or terrified because of liking a man. On the contrary, I was very excited because the person I liked was Du Chen.

I think I've been extremely lucky.