Tang Seng is a cook

Wukong has been with his master for half a year, and he has long since discovered that although his master is ignorant of immortality and is a mortal body, for some reason, he knows a lot.

Obviously, the master is just a monk who was born and raised in the Eastern Tang Dynasty for 20 years. He has never even been out of the door, but he still travels all the way, like a prophet. Occasionally, he will come back to say something, and the master will know where they are. What a goblin.

Although it is not accurate every time, but eighty-nine is not far from ten, and you can always get it right.

If he mentioned a place name, the master didn't respond and just said, "Well, let's go!" The monkey knew that no matter how dangerous this place looked, it was guaranteed to be safe.

Sure enough, tried and tested!

It's just that the monkey listened to the "Golden Cicada" a few times before, and later heard what the Buddha said about "the second disciple". Knowing that the master had an extraordinary background, he didn't care too much, and on the contrary, he became more and more convinced of his master.

So this time when Zhuang Fan said that the water is different, although the monkey said it lightly, he was very vigilant in his heart, and ordered several juniors one by one, and even Hongye and Honghaier went up invisibly and ordered He asked again.

Especially Houzi knew that his elder brother Hongye, who seemed to have lived for a long time, actually knew nothing and was very curious, so he frightened him and said: "If you dare to be curious, drink the water secretly, and the master will know about it." , Stir-fried pork on a bamboo board!"

Hongye and Honghaier trembled in fright, the master and apprentice hugged each other, shook their heads together and said: "Don't dare! Don't dare! I swear to God, I will never drink!"

Only then did the monkey feel relieved, gathered his soul and returned to his original body.

If a person who wants to die is determined to die, no one can stop him.

When Zhuang Fan was leading his disciples to cross the river in a boat, Hongye secretly landed in the green leaf boat, took a gourd, and drew a lot of water.

Putting his arms around Master's neck, Hong Boy whispered in his ear, "Master, where did you hide the water? Who are you going to drink?"

Hong Ye hugged her apprentice, rubbed her smooth chin with the other hand, thought for a while and said: "Your grandfather didn't say that the water is bad, but I want to find someone to try it, but there is no goal!"

The red boy said in a low voice: "Master, I saw that when I crossed the river just now, Grandpa touched the water with his hand, and rubbed his fingertips twice. I think the water is non-toxic, but he can't drink it. Did he drink it?" Have loose bowels?"

Hongye said: "It should be more serious than that, otherwise he couldn't take out all the bamboo boards and threaten us..."

Red Boy rubbed his little butt, and said aggrievedly: "Master, stop talking, my butt hurts."

Hongye rubbed Honghaier's chubby face and said, "How dare you say that if you hadn't caused trouble last time, your grandfather would have been willing to beat you and your little uncle?" Your master and I wouldn't be so miserable later on!

The red boy didn't answer, turned his face to the front, and said eagerly: "Master, master, grandpa and the others have crossed the river and got on their horses. Let's go!"

Hongye nodded helplessly at his little nose and said, "Little slippery boy!" Whenever he heard something he didn't like, he would act shamelessly!

A while ago, Honghaier and Wuyou were very jealous, because Wuyou's feet were worn out on the day after passing Jindou Mountain, and when he set off again, he sat on the green leaf boat. The two children chatted and chatted. Talk about twisting, from now on, just like the two little fighting cocks, they will fight for Zhuang Fan's attention when it's time to rest.

Fortunately, once, the two of them got into a fight by the stove, one was breathing fire, the other was stirring up Huntian Ling, and inadvertently overturned a pot of porridge cooked by Zhuang Fan, and the master was so angry that he rarely moved Thick, put them down one by one, a bamboo board came up from one person's little butt!

Regarding the internal conflicts among the children, Zhuang Fan had expected it, but he didn't expect that two troublemakers would mess with him?

It's common for children to fight, quarrel, stretch their arms and legs, but why can't they harm the food!

That night, Zhuang Fan transcribed the poem Mi Nong on paper, the format followed the layout of title, author and the whole poem, and gave it to the two children, saying: "Copy the whole poem ten times! Write ten times silently tomorrow, Make a mistake and rewrite it!" It's like a self-criticism!

Nezha had done copying homework when he was a child, and when he was studying art with his master. Now I took it over and read it. I am very lucky. Fortunately, this poem does not have many words. Can go to bed early!

Hong Haier was dumbfounded!

He can't read!I didn't even take a brush!

His father is an illiterate cow spirit, and although his mother is called a princess, she is actually a Rakshasa girl. The couple are completely ignorant of these knowledge in the world. Yes, I only taught him to read a few characters, so even now, the red boy still doesn't know a lot of big characters.

However, Hong Haier is a child with strong self-esteem, he can't and can't bear to say it, holding the paper tightly and refusing to say anything, seeing that Wu You has spread paper on the small table, put pen and ink on it, and is about to copy it by hand. , couldn't help biting his lips, his face was flushed with shame, and there were tears in his eyes.

Seeing this, Zhuang Fan embraced him and said, "But did Grandpa hurt?"

Hong Haier twitched and nestled in Zhuang Fan's arms without saying a word, he mumbled for a long time before saying: "I can't read..."

Because I felt ashamed in my heart, I refused to even say "I".

Just as Wuyou wanted to make fun of this little kid who always robbed him of his father, Zhuang Fan fixed his eyes. Zhuang Fan glanced at Wuyou, then looked at the ruler beside the table, the third prince would have wilted, honestly Bow your head and write, and don't dare to stir up trouble again.

Zhuang Fan did not let Honghaier go, coaxing him to stop his tears, and grabbed Hongye, who claimed to only recognize oracle bone script and dismissed other scripts, and began to give them tutoring every night.

It's not too difficult to learn, first learn to write your own name, then write your hometown address, and then write people you know, that's it, Hongye master and apprentice, they have learned a lot.

On Hongye’s little book, it reads crookedly, “Hongye, Longevity Mountain, Wuzhuang Temple, Hot Spring, Apprentice, Monkey King, Tang Sanzang, Red Boy, Eat, Drink, Sleep, Zhenyuan…”

On Honghai'er's little book, there is a crooked note of "Holy Infant King, Honghai'er, Songyunjian, Grandpa, Master, Princess Iron Fan, Cuiyun Mountain, Banana Cave..."

Such active learning and application, after all, I remember more and forget less. Even Hongye, who feels dizzy and drowsy when she sees a book, can stutter and read after taking out a book.

When he was almost done with his studies, Zhuang Fan saw that Honghaier could hold the pen steadily, so he finally asked him to copy "Compassion for the Nong" ten times. Definitely find a place without food!

It's just that the poem of pity farmers has not yet been published, and even the author has not been reincarnated, so Zhuang Fan told the two younger ones not to spread the poem outside, that's all.

Didn't they know that since the moment they finished the task, the Third Crown Prince and the Holy Infant King completely forgot about that day when the crops went down to the soil at noon!

Typical exam seeders.

Don't talk about those trifles, let's just talk about coming to the Zimu River today, despite Zhuang Fan's precautionary measures, he caught all the apprentices, but he didn't catch a single Hongye. The boy discussed that it would be better to give the unlucky one a drink.

Hong Haier advised his master, "Master, if we don't know what will happen if we drink this water, you must find a bad person to drink it for him!"

Hongye also whispered: "Why? Why do you choose bad people?" He has more vegetation and mountain spirits, and they are stronger. No matter good or bad among mortals, they are too weak. Tough, what if you drink to death?

Hong Haier leaned over and said angrily: "Hey to the bad guys, Grandpa won't be angry if he finds out!"

Hongye suddenly realized, oh!That's what it means!

He tweeted a note to his apprentice and boasted, "You are so smart!"

Red Boy put his arms around Master's neck, smiled and discussed: "Then Master, give me half of the water!"

Hong Ye shook her head and said, "Come on, you're so hairy every day, if your grandfather catches you, Master won't be able to escape a meal of fried pork with bamboo shoots!"

As soon as the red boy covered his little fat fart, he could only sigh, and died down, but then said: "Then master, if you know what's weird about this river, you can definitely tell me! If you are going to drink water for someone, I will go and see it too. !"

Hongye said: "Well, well, it's all up to you!"

The two masters and apprentices talked and laughed, drifting all the way, followed behind Zhuang Fan, and came to the daughter country of Xiliang.

Zhuang Fan didn't want to go to the city at first, it's just that their master and apprentice haven't come across a serious town for a long time. The last time they missed the Wuji country, they never replenished their supplies. Running out of ammunition and food, seven people stood on the road and drank the northwest wind together!

Zhuang Fan rode on the white dragon horse, sighed, and frowned very worriedly.

Wukong said: "Master, but you don't want to go to the city?"

Master was in a hurry to go west along the way, and he would not enter the city or stay in the village, because he was afraid of delaying time, could it be the same today?

Zhuang Fan got off his horse and sighed: "If I knew I was in the black-bone chicken country, I should have gone to the city to buy it that afternoon. If we don't want to go in today, we have to go in."

Wukong said: "If the master is afraid of delaying the matter, why don't you tell the second junior brother to stay in the city to purchase, and let's move on?"

In the whole team, apart from Zhuang Fan, the one with the most experience in shopping is Xiao Bailong!

Zhuang Fan turned his head to look at the extraordinary white dragon horse, and then thought about the appearance of that young master Ao Yu, and thought to himself, he really wants to stay here, why not be eaten and wiped and squeezed out?forget it!This time, for the sake of safety, Wu Wang should not turn into a human!

Zhuang Fan thought for a while, then took off his Pilu hat, revealing his bald head with a long stubble, turned his head and asked the monkey, "Is Master black? Is the mark obvious?"

He hasn't shaved his head for a long time in order to make the sun marks less conspicuous.

The monkey was very calm, shook his head and said: "It's not black!" He laughed and endured the pain!

Master only thinks about his bald head, but forgets about his forehead...

Zhuang Fan said firmly: "Tell the truth!"

Monkey's face was serious, and he said firmly, "It's not black!" Master stopped asking, he couldn't hold on any longer!

Zhuang Fan buckled his hat and said, "Alright then, go and make some ink for Master, make it lighter!"

The monkey looked blankly, "Master, is it time to write?"

Zhuang Fan said: "I heard you say I'm not black, just put some ink on my face and hands, and make it darker!"

He waved his hand to call Bajie to come over, and said, "Fatty, put on your most frightening appearance in Gao Laozhuang!"

Both Wukong and Bajie were dumbfounded, and asked, "Master, why?"

Zhuang Fan sighed, pointed to the city that could be seen in front of him, and said, "Did you see it? That is the daughter country of Xiliang. In this country, there are only women and no men. Whenever a man is found, the citizens will shout, 'The race is here. '. If you don't look ugly, it will be difficult for us to get out of the city! By the way, Wukong, you have to change your appearance. Now you look at it, you are too handsome! You have fangs No?"

While talking, pinch the monkey's cheeks!

Monkey asked his master to pinch him, he hesitated and said something.

Hearing what the master said, Bajie was really terrified, and quickly wiped his face with his sleeve, and the pig's mouth and big ears grew out in unison.

Not only that, but even his face has changed. It used to be a white and fat little monk, but now he looks black, wrinkled and has thick hair. He has a fat head and big ears. .

Wuyou came over and hugged her thigh, raised her pink face and said, "Daddy, what should I do?"

Zhuang Fan rubbed his chin and said: "Although you are quite young, you are a boy after all, so you have to guard against it." He turned his head and called out, "Wu Wang, you and your little brother are going to your elder brother's place." Let's have dinner and rest at night, and you guys sneak over here again!"

Wu Wang quietly turned into a human form, a little novice who was slightly taller than Wu You, walked over and said, "Good master!"

Two brothers, one monk, flew side by side to Hongye's green leaf boat. The ancestor who was discussing bad things with the red boy was so startled that he almost fell from the other side.

Wu Wang sat down and wondered: "Brother, what are you leading my nephew to discuss? Be careful that Master finds out, I will punish you!"

Seeing that it wasn't Zhuang Fan, Hongye put her heart back into her stomach, and said without shame: "Excuse me, why should I cry?"

Wuyou and Honghaier heard this, and they shave their faces together to shame him. After shaving, they couldn't help but look at each other, snorted again, and turned their heads away.

Wu Wang licked the two troublemakers, told the story of Xiliang's daughter country, and said: "Master won't let us go down, and said that after they live in, we will go quietly at night, so as not to be discovered, even if we are idle. idle..."

Hong Ye hurriedly stopped her and said, "Play poker, play poker!"

He took out a new deck of cards and said, "I just made it! How does it feel?"

Wu Wang didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and said: "Brother, have you finished your homework, be careful and go down to master to check you!"

Hongye covered her face, lay on her back on the green leaf boat, and wailed, "I'm an old man. The old man wants to rest and have fun. Why study!"

It's just that Zhuang Fan has a lot of prestige, Hongye finally put away the poker, obediently took out the small book, and went to learn to read with his apprentice.

Bamboo fried meat is not good.

Only Wukong Bajie and caramel cake were left, Zhuang Fan tried his best to tidy up the two apprentices, and then said worriedly to Bajie: "Fatty, why don't you go up too!"

Bajie was looking at himself with a small mirror. It had been a long time since he was so ugly. He felt a little uncomfortable. He always felt that his nose was too big to block his sight. After hearing this, he said strangely: "Why, Master? I think I am quite scary. Already?"

Could it be that Master's aesthetics went wrong?Or is she really good-looking?

Who knew Zhuang Fan said: "Master, I'm not worried that you will have a psychological shadow. What if those girls are too enthusiastic and scare you?"

Bajie was a little disappointed, and said with a smile: "Master, don't worry, my heart is open, and there is no shadow. I didn't want to cause trouble before, so I hid it. There is nothing to be scared about. The apprentice is so brave!"

After hearing this, Zhuang Fan went to look at the monkey again, looked at it for a long time, and said, "Wukong, be more fierce! You look like a monkey like this, Mao Dudu is very cute, not scary at all!"

The monkey grinned there for a long time, rubbed his cheeks weakly and said: "Master, I really tried my best..."

Zhuang Fan scratched his head, hesitantly said: "How about you go up too?"

Monkey was stunned, and if he didn't do it, how could he leave?

Bajie said: "Master, you're just a lame son who likes himself. In fact, senior brother and I are not ordinary people at a glance. Those people will definitely run away when they see you. Don't worry about us!"

Monkey nodded and said, "Master, although you have lost some weight, you are still very handsome. Think about it, how can you do it yourself?"

Zhuang Fan rubbed his face, and said: "I heard that at that time, people considered fairness to be beautiful. Master was exposed to the sun and rain every day. This face is so rough that it is comparable to sandpaper. In addition, the complexion is dark. There are two of you. The guards are left and right, how blind must the citizens be to provoke Master?"

Now that I am as dark as an African, I guess the king will look down on him even more.

But Zhuang Fan was annoyed again: "I knew I shouldn't have shaved. I kept it. Although it grows slowly, I kept it all the way. I guess it will grow into a beard by now!"

Wukong said: "Well, what are you doing with a beard? You lose some soup, juice, and vegetables when you eat, and you have to wash them afterwards!" Otherwise, you can always smell the smell of food.

The monkey who was cultivated by the master to be hygienic and clean is now very disgusted with his own hair.

After the three masters and apprentices finished packing, they took out two half-empty cages as usual, put them on the back of the caramel cake horse, and walked towards the city gate.

Zhuang Fan took off his Pilu hat, and wore a shabby blue monk's robe with patches on the sleeves, holding a nine-ringed tin rod in his hand, with a dark complexion and a stern expression.

Wukong's hair stood up, his eyebrows stood up, and he carried the golden cudgel on his shoulders, full of evil spirits.

Bajie has the appearance of a pig demon, and he holds the caramel cake in a scary way.

These three people are not good-looking, and they don't seem to be easy to get along with, so when they entered the city, the people from the daughter country on the roadside only looked at them, and none of them dared to talk to them.

After walking in such a quiet way for a while, a female official called tremblingly by the side of the road: "I don't know where the visitor is coming from? You must know that this place is not allowed to enter the city gate without authorization. Please follow me to the post office to register your name, and wait for the next official Know my king, verify his integrity, and then let him go."

Bajie went up to talk to him as usual, but when the female officer saw him, she screamed in fright, her face turned pale, she stepped back a few steps, almost fell to the ground.

Zhuang Fan hurriedly stopped Bajie, thinking that we only became ugly to prevent being harassed. If we startled people, it would be bad. The poor monk is an imperial envoy sent by the king of the Tang Dynasty in the Eastern Land to worship the Buddha in the Western Heaven to seek scriptures. The two disciples next to me are my two apprentices. Don't be afraid, Master, they are all monks! Please ask the benefactor to check it."

The female official is a local post office, and she is used to receiving people and things. Hearing this, she calmed down a little. When she saw the three people in front of her, she hurriedly said: "I don't know the identity of the elders of Shangbang. I offended you. I am rude and rude. Please make amends." !"

Zhuang Fan hurriedly said that he didn't dare, so the postman invited the three masters and apprentices to rest in the posthouse, and went to Wufenglou to meet him.

Probably because of her low official position, she is not qualified to receive saint monks and apprentices.

It happened that the queen was discussing matters with the grand master and others in the palace, so she sent the postman to come in and asked her, "Is there anything to play?"

The postmaster told about Tang Sanzang, the younger brother of the Great Tang King of the Eastern Land, who went to the west to worship Buddha to learn Buddhist scriptures, and passed by the local area, and then said: "This younger brother of the Tang Dynasty has a high status, and I dare not be a low-ranking official. I am here to ask Your Majesty, whether you are with me or not?" He switched Guan Wen?"

The king was overjoyed when he heard this and said, "But the holy monk from the Tang Dynasty came?"

The postman didn't understand, so he said: "How dare you lie to your majesty, now you are resting in the posthouse, your majesty wants to see you?"

The queen said, "Not busy, let me ask you, how many apprentices are there with the holy monk? How many boys?"

The female officer was surprised and said: "There are two apprentices, but the boy has never seen it. I don't know how the king learned about it?"

The queen frowned, and said strangely: "I got news from the front, saying that this holy monk, since the beginning of the Sipanhami kingdom, has been loved by Songzi Guanyin, and he is always surrounded by boys of all colors, even five or six years old. There are also those who are seven or eight years old, and some who are in their teens, and they are all begged later to be apprentices, sons, and so on!"

She sighed, and said to her highness: "You also know that the emperors of our country have been passed down for thousands of years, and there has not been a man born. Therefore, hearing such news, isn't it a good opportunity for me? I have been looking forward to this holy monk. Come here, so that I can ask him for a boy, raise him as a son, and make him a prince in the future, so as to change the fate of our country, who knows..."

Having said this, he sighed heavily again.

Who knew that the holy monk didn't bring a single boy with him when he arrived in the country of daughters?