The director is too flirtatious

Dad said that Mom's problem was not very good, but it was nothing.I asked my father, and my father said that my mother had recovered, but when this matter was mentioned, my father was a little hesitant to speak on the phone.

I pretended not to know Dad's subtext, but when I went to sleep at night, I was always restless.

After crying for so long, it wasn't slow for me to fall asleep in the director's arms, but I didn't know if it counted as falling asleep.Because the consciousness seems to be half asleep and half awake all the time, leading me to experience many things.

Some mixed scenes, the few words with parents, the sweet relationship with the director, the company's competitive pressure, plus some messy things, it's like a hodgepodge.

Sometimes it's like going out to sea in a boat and encountering wind and waves, sometimes it's like the feeling of weightlessness when taking off in an airplane, sometimes it's like falling into an abyss, and sometimes it's like drowning.

I kept struggling in the dream, but I couldn't wake up.

When I opened my eyes, it was already dawn.This dream made me extremely tired, so when I saw the dawn, I breathed a sigh of relief.The director hadn't woken up yet, so I carefully broke away from her arms and picked up the phone.When the screen turned on, I actually saw a WeChat reminder.

The wechat was sent by my mother. The reminder on the display screen is not complete, but at a glance, I can roughly know what my mother sent me.My heart twitched suddenly, a kind of pain started from my heart and paralyzed my whole body.

My eyes turned red all of a sudden, I bit my lips and opened WeChat, holding the phone with trembling hands, and read the WeChat messages my mother sent me.

The time is after three o'clock and four o'clock respectively.At this point, my mother hasn't slept yet.

Mother: [It's really hard to imagine that you will become like this.In my impression, you are assertive and well-behaved, and you will listen to what others say.When did it start to be like this?Blind and paranoid, my mother doesn't listen to what I say, and I just feel that I am right, as if my mother will harm you.I am really sad why my daughter has become like this. 】

Mother: 【Why did you become like this?Who broke you down?I really want to know what else I can do and how I can help you.Lying in bed tonight, thinking of you makes my heart ache so badly that I can't sleep.I think of you when I was a child, you who followed me and called my mother.Then I remembered your indifference and determination when you told me about this today. What made you come to where you are today? 】

Mother: [Your father said, leave it to you, children and grandchildren have their own blessings, but how can I bear it?I have the heart to watch you take this wrong path.There is no future, no dawn, no children and grandchildren, no place for old people.Just thinking about it makes my heart ache. 】

Mother: [You have always been a sensible and good boy, haven't you?You are filial and smart, how could you do such a thing?Mom is really sad, her eyes are swollen from crying, what should I do... Yi Nian, wake up, don't do such stupid things, okay? 】

Mother: 【You said you can find a girlfriend, but how many of them are sincere?Fly separately when disaster strikes, you have no security, no status, nothing, if you have nothing by then, and you are old, what should you do?No family is complete without a man.Why does the Marriage Law stipulate that marriage must be between a man and a woman?Because the combination of yin and yang is orthodox, what are you two women? 】

Mother: [I don't know what made you think this way, but it's obviously wrong, isn't it?And if you think about it, if this kind of thing is known to everyone, it will be ridiculed.Don't you know the pressure of public opinion?If the neighbors knew about it, my mother would not be able to hold her head up in the community.You should know the truth that good things do not go out and evil things travel thousands of miles. 】

Mother: [People want face, tree needs skin, people live for face, do you have the heart to see mother being talked about by them behind?Just say that the daughter of the old Xu family is gay, how can your mother live like this?And mother just wants to hug her grandson, the cute child belongs to your child, and your husband's, don't you want it? 】

Mother: [Mom is old and can't bear the toss, think about it, think about it. 】

I took my mobile phone and read the messages sent by my mother one by one. After reading it once, tears had already wet the hair beside my ears.I dare not breathe too much, because my heart will hurt.I dare not turn around, because I am afraid that the director will wake up.

I just lay on my side and looked at my mother's message. I didn't dare to read it a second time, and I didn't dare to reply to my mother's message.

I'm sorry, Mom, I'm sorry for making you so sad.

But sorry, I cannot accept your proposal.

The generation gap between my mother and I was clearly revealed in this matter, or her overreaction was more intense than I imagined.I know that my mother is doing it for my own good, but I can't bear this kind of doing it for my own good.

I can refute what my mother said, and I can reason with her, but my mother will not accept it. On the contrary, she will be even more angry after seeing my words.I know this, so I dare not post it now.

At this point, mom should be asleep, right?At least let her have a good sleep, right?

With this thought in mind, I can no longer sleep because I am haunted by guilt, but I don't know what else I can do.I secretly turned around to look at the bright sunshine outside the window, and I could see that the sky was blue with a few white clouds floating around.

What a beautiful day...comfortable and bright.

Tears flowed down again unknowingly, and I was so scared that I quickly wiped them away.Carefully getting up from the bed, sat in a daze for a moment, and realized that he couldn't go on like this.

If so, go for a run.

I changed into my tracksuit and tied my hair up.Pull yourself up and go downstairs.

The director's community is actually relatively large, and there are many people running in the morning on the road around the edge of the community every day. When I went down, I also found people running in twos and threes.

Feeling very down, a little depressed.I took a picture of my face, then did a little pre-run preparation and started running.

Let me forget about these things first, these messy things without any solution, haunting me like a curse, forget them all.

It's just that jogging can't forget everything in my mind, so I ran faster and faster, like crazy, like a [-]-meter sprint, like hysteria, rushing to a blank mind, difficulty breathing, as if I would faint in the next second.

My body couldn't bear the impact. As I ran faster and faster, my heart beat like an explosion, and my head swelled accordingly.I couldn't breathe, so I opened my mouth to breathe.

A gust of wind hit my mouth, making my throat sore.

But those unpleasant repressions still weigh heavily on my heart, and every beat is like moving forward with a heavy weight.

My legs couldn't move anymore, my heart was about to explode, and every cell in my body was protesting against my tyranny.I finally slowed down, and then stopped, propping my knees with my hands, breathing heavily.

At this moment, I am at a loss.I don't know what I'm doing or where I am.

I raised my head somewhat at a loss, and looked at everything around me. It wasn't a familiar environment, nor could I say it was completely unfamiliar.Let me look over here, there is a mother holding her child and preparing to go out.I looked over there again, and there were two old men jogging and laughing over there.

Everything is so peaceful, but I always feel uncomfortable.

This kind of discomfort is not heart-piercing, it seems to be hidden deep in my heart, sometimes I don't feel any beating, but sometimes it feels like something is being pressed.

I can't laugh if I want to laugh, and I can't cry if I want to cry.I don't know what I should do, how to relieve my sadness.

The young girl passing by while running looked at me curiously, and there seemed to be a little worry in those smart eyes.I wanted to give her a thank you smile, but I pulled the corners of my lips and found that I couldn't smile.

How can I not laugh?How can I go back and face the director?

I stood up straight, and the girl didn't stop, just ran away.I looked at her back, patted my face lightly, and cheered myself up.

I dragged my tired body back home, and when I opened the door, I found that the director had already got up, sitting on the sofa, without saying a word, with a blank expression on his face.

Her hair was a little messy, and it seemed that she hadn't tidied it up.She looked a bit depressed with a blank expression, she just sat on the sofa like this, without a cell phone or a pillow, wearing a nightgown, like an abandoned doll.

I was a little startled, and couldn't help asking: "Why are you sitting here?" I was a little worried in my tone, such directors are really rare.

The director looked at me, still expressionless.My heart trembled, and I hurried over, reached out to stroke her hair, and stroked her forehead, "Is it uncomfortable?"

The director suddenly reached out and hugged me, she put her arms around my waist, and buried her face in my lower abdomen.

She looked a little fragile, and my heart ached, as if I realized something.I struggled lightly and didn't break free, so I didn't continue to struggle, and said softly: "I just finished running, and I'm sweaty and dirty."

The director didn't make a sound, and continued to hold me in this posture.

My breathing slowed down, as if I was afraid of scaring her, and my voice became softer, "What's wrong?"

The director finally spoke this time, she put her face on my lower abdomen and said softly: "I woke up, you're not here."

My heart ached slightly, it was hard to imagine that such disturbing words would come out of the director's mouth.I leaned over to hug her, and she put her arms around my neck.

I stroked her back, kissed her hair sideways, my voice was a little hoarse, with a little sadness, "Hey, I just went for a run."

"The day after you came out, you disappeared when you woke up." The director repeated this sentence, and after she finished speaking, she seemed to realize that something was wrong with her, so she paused, "Sorry, my reaction seems to be a bit older. "

My heart suddenly clenched tightly together, making me so sad that I almost shed tears.

"Sorry, it is my fault."

"It's not your fault, it's just that I... don't know what happened for a while." When the director said this, he hugged him tighter and tighter.

I couldn't hold back my tears anymore and fell down.

I'm sorry, Yier, I made you feel insecure.

The author has something to say: coming out of the closet is actually a quarrel over and over again, and the content of your quarrel is indeed the few sentences that come and go, which cannot be avoided.The content of Yi Nian's quarrel with her mother is almost the content of my quarrel with my mother. In fact, coming out of the closet is like this.Patience is wearing down, and in the end it becomes, subconsciously irritable after answering the phone.Moreover, Yi Nian's character is difficult to be truly cold-handed, and this will turn into a tug of war.

Coming out is a long and tangled process, and I'm trying to overdo it, but since I'm trying to describe the back and forth, it might feel like a bit of a drag. emmmmmmmmm don't care, continue to write according to my ideas.