city ​​of angels

Before leaving, Ning Yu treated Yaya to a meal as farewell.

He has the best relationship with Yaya in the company.It was supposed to be a good day to eat barbecue, but Yaya said that she was in a bad mood because of a broken relationship, and asked Ning Yu to go to the bar with her to drink instead of eating.

Yaya is a lesbian.After Ning Yu heard what happened to her, it was probably the story of her pursuing the other party for a long time and finally rejecting her.After hearing this, Ning Yu felt a little empathetic. Thinking of himself, he drank two more glasses of wine and said, "I guess I'm about the same as you. People I like don't want to fall in love."

Yaya was curious: "Where is the sacredness so hard to chase? Which fairy?"

Ning Yu doesn't like to talk about his affairs with others very much, so no one knows.He thought to himself that being with Yaya was good enough, she had already talked about her emotional trauma, so it would be fine to exchange it with her, or to communicate.

Ning Yu glanced at Yaya before saying, "It's not a woman, it's a man."

Yaya wasn't too shocked, she just asked, "Straight man?"

Ning Yu shook his head.

"That shouldn't be, are you not taking the initiative when you are not nice to others?" Yaya wondered, "Your qualifications are also good, which zero has such high requirements?"

"I feel that I am still very active." Ning Yu glanced at Yaya before saying quietly, "I am the one below."

Then the conversation between him and Yaya was strangely silent for half a minute.

"Do you have a picture?" Yaya was curious, "Who is it?"

Ning Yu thought for a while, and showed Yaya a photo of Ah Chong secretly photographed on the tour bus.

"Handsome and handsome." Yaya nodded, "It looks very healthy, do you like this one?"

When Ning Yu finished telling her story, Yaya said to him bluntly: "If you want me to say, you should give up. You can't catch this kind of person, and it's not interesting for you to pester him like this. What do you think? Do people like you?"

Yaya is a very rational person, she never sees problems emotionally, and always discusses the matter as it stands.In her opinion, Ning Yu's unrequited love story is a meaningless investment. As a friend, she has to be persuaded.

Ning Yu thought for a moment: "I don't hate it anyway. I think I should...have a chance?"

"According to what you said, I haven't seen anything before, so I'm missing you?" Yaya began to pour cold water on her, "You still read every night, you are going to play "The Reader"? His attitude is very clear, to put it bluntly, your current The behavior is commonly known as licking the dog."

From Yaya's point of view, Ning Yu's unrequited love in the past year has been richer than her own, which contrasts too much with his appearance.He posted a hypocritical circle of friends that was only visible to the other party for a year, and all kinds of hints and expresses were about to put the words "hurry up and fall in love with me" through the screen to slap people's faces.

Ning Yu disagreed: "I like him. I am willing to do everything for him and enjoy it very much. No one stipulates that he should respond to me when I like him. I am willing to give. How can this be called dog licking?"

Yaya sighed: "You just listen to my sister's persuasion, do people care about you?"

Ning Yu turned the wine glass with one hand, took out his mobile phone with the other hand and looked at it, the latest one was last night's farewell, he handed it to Yaya to read: "He will return to me... Look, does it look like a relationship? "

Yaya leaned over to take a look——Ning: Good night (the moon) I love you.The other party replied: Good night (hug).

Yaya: "...do you say I love you every day when you lick each other?"

Too straight and too disgusting!Why is this 183 tall man chasing others like this! !

Ning Yu nodded: "Three times a day in the morning, noon and evening, I'm used to it. Sometimes he returns, sometimes not. If you insist on saying that I'm a dog licker, then I still have a lot of experience."

She felt that she was about to suffocate: "...you are too direct..."

Ning Yu didn't seem to care too much: "It's better to be direct, and you will lose if you hesitate!"

"Let's analyze it. Ning Yu, I feel that you and that person are not in the same rank. You can't handle this kind of person." Yaya pointed out the key point, "You can see how confident he is when he talks to you. But not conceited, not greasy, measured but knows how to break the boundaries... This is a skill that has been honed for a long time, do you understand the gap between you and others is the master and bronze? What do you use to play with others?"

Ning Yu replied: "...I have to be gold now."

"You are a bronze in front of others!" Yaya continued to analyze angrily, "You just said that he is a Libra, right? Ning Yu, people say that Libra is the only constellation that is not a living thing. I like that person is Libra. , My feeling is that people of this zodiac sign are the most heartless, hot on the outside and cold on the inside, no matter what they do to others, they actually love themselves the most.” She spoke with a bit of resentment for failure in pursuit.

Ning Yu thought for a while after listening, and then said: "Then if I catch up with him, I will have a sense of accomplishment."

Yaya sighed: "Ambiguous people suffer a lot of grievances...you are blinded by ambiguity."

Ning Yu shook his head: "I am not wronged, nor have I been deceived."

Yaya rolled her eyes: "It's easy to be moved when you like someone, and some people will even vent that kind of resentment on the other person... You are very clear about this, and you are very compelled. But let me remind you, the modern city A common problem among young people is that they tend to misunderstand loneliness and sex as love."

Ning Yu took back his phone, he bowed his head and thought for a while, and then said: "I don't think it was a misunderstanding, I have proved it in a year. I have met many gentle people, many excellent people, many warm people, but only him It makes me feel hot, hot is not the same as warm, it makes my body temperature rise and I sweat."

"No, you can't be so stubborn." Yaya thought for a while, "Besides, this is a foreign country, and it's too difficult. Don't be stupid."

Ning Yu: "So I'm resigning and going to Thailand, I've already applied for the school."

Yaya's expression instantly became terrified.

"...You resigned to go to a school in Thailand?"

Ning Yu nodded: "Yes. Sister, you can find me when you come to Thailand in the future."

No wonder Yaya was surprised. Students who graduated from Ning Yu’s alma mater basically went abroad to study in prestigious schools. Yaya herself came back from Imperial College. It’s not that the schools in Thailand are not good, but in terms of professional fields. I thought about going to Thailand to study, but the scumbags would not consider it.

"Have you considered it?" Yaya's expression became serious, "In our industry, the development of Thailand is comparable to that of China? What about the future development? Do your parents agree to go there without relatives or reasons?"

Ning Yu was silent for a while, and then said: "Sister, I may not be very clear about what I want, but I know what I don't want."

Yaya shook her head: "No wonder everyone asked you where you went to find a new job. You only said that you would continue to study, but you didn't ask where you went to kill yourself. If you found out that you went to Thailand, I would be blown up. But if you rush over like this, no one will." I must have a crush on you, it's pointless."

"It's not entirely about him, it's more about me."

Ning Yu twitched the corners of his mouth, seeming a little embarrassed, "Sister Yaya, I have few friends, and I have the best relationship with you in the company. It happens that you are not heterosexual, and neither am I. Today I will tell you something about me. I think you should understand me."

Yaya nodded: "Go ahead, classmate Ning Xiaoyu."

Ning Yu poured a glass of wine, drank it down and let out a deep breath.

"When I was young, my parents didn't care much about me. At that time, in order to make them care more about me, I studied hard and tried my best to be obedient, but later I found it was useless. Instead, they thought I was very good, so don't worry about me."

"Since I was young, I was asked by my family to be a good student, and when I entered the company, I was asked by the rules to be a good employee, and I was always asked by invisible judges to be a qualified man... It was too tiring. The environment in Thailand was easy for me , Fresh, very interesting, I only know that I can laugh so relaxedly there. I am not giving up on myself, escaping from the status quo, I think I am pursuing the life I want, you can also understand it as self-exile..."

"You might think I'm stupid and acting great. But I sometimes feel that when I chase him, it's not giving. Instead, I feel that he is saving me because he gave me a chance to be real. Own."

It seemed that the switch to confide was turned on. Ning Yu babbled about the reason, his eyes turned red as he spoke, and he asked, "Sister Yaya, can you understand?"

Can you understand me?

Ask me to be decent, ask me to be strong and orderly, ask me not to make mistakes, ask me to be a man, ask me to love a woman, ask me not to cry.

Too much to ask for.

Don't want to be asked for these anymore.

Yaya is a single-parent family, and she feels a little sad.But she didn't say whether she could understand, because she knew that people could never understand each other.

She patted the big boy in front of her on the shoulder: "But classmate Ning Xiaoyu, if someone ignores you and hurts you, then what's the point of doing this?"

Ning Yu seemed to have thought about this answer many times, and he answered quickly.

"To be honest, I don't know." Ning Yu lowered his head, "I also thought about why I was so persistent, and I also suspected that there was something wrong with me. I even went to see a counselor, and she told me that my behavior projected The most important thing is my family education. Because my father’s love for others is paranoid, so I subconsciously feel that being like my father is the right way to love others. But I am not the same as my father The point is, my dad needs to reciprocate, but I can not reciprocate, and sometimes I even enjoy that kind of self-abuse game... Maybe I am really sick."

Yaya is a bystander, she looks at things objectively, and said bluntly: "I envy your courage, because I can't do it. But as a friend, I still want to remind you that unrequited love is easy to move yourself. The correct way for you is to analyze Pros and cons, care about gains and losses like an adult, let giving and rewarding a virtuous circle."

As soon as she finished speaking, the gentle saxophone was cut to the next song in the quiet bar. Yaya laughed as soon as she heard the prelude: "This song is too suitable for you, so listen to it. It's all about this." , I don’t want to persuade you anymore, I hope you won’t regret it in the future. Finally, I’m moved to chase after this night, if you can’t catch up, you will grow up!”

They clinked glasses in the singing of "Waste", swallowing cold liquid and bitter memories.

That person sings, it's okay, you don't have to give me a chance, anyway, I still have a lifetime to waste.I just have such a little bit of stubbornness left, which can be called my advantage.

That person still sings, even if I spend another ten years with you, it doesn't matter.

The writing is fearless and a bit sour, not very suitable for a man of science and technology like him.But this location, the wine just now, the dim lights of the bar, and the faint crying at the table in the opposite corner all make this scene a bit sensational.

Listening to the song, Ning Yu suddenly felt a little tired. He lowered his head and pressed the center of his eyebrows.

He said: "Actually, I am not afraid of being rejected. I also know that I am often touched by myself, and I have all kinds of negative emotions. I also know that I am lonely and need sex. I may misunderstand that it is love."

"But nobody did that to me, no."

Yaya was taken aback by Ning Yu's expression.

"I can't dance, and he told me it doesn't matter, he said dancing can make mistakes. He remembers my birthday, and only he can talk to me when I'm sad, because he can't laugh at me. He taught me how to get along with my colleagues, and told me Joke, give me... no one has ever given me these, Sister Yaya, do you understand?"

Do you understand?he asks.

He seemed to be talking drunk.

Yaya looked at the wine bottle on the table, and thought to herself, isn't it because I lost my love today?Why did I keep comforting him?But Yaya knew that she shouldn't talk now, so she just listened quietly.

"I really want very little, and I have been working hard, but my father doesn't like me, my mother doesn't like me, no one really cares about me..."

Ning Yu's voice began to choke, and he was a little incoherent, "Shanghai is so big that I can't find anyone like him. I also feel that there is something wrong with me, and I also want someone to teach me to control myself, but I really like it." He, I can't control it at all... He is really good, you know? When I think of him cooking, he always loses his mind, laughs, and then puts too much salt, which tastes bitter. Sister Yaya, I I worked really hard, I know you will say I'm stupid..."

Yaya saw that this tall, handsome boy who usually smiled shyly had his head down, with a downcast expression on his face, as if... crying.

He drank a lot, his tongue started to grow loud when he spoke, and his eyes were very red.

"I really like him." Ning Yu said, "Just think of me as being moved by yourself, anyway, I'm still young, I...I still have a lot of time, I..."

He didn't finish that sentence, and seemed to be unable to continue.

Yaya felt a little uncomfortable watching, and she was speechless.Because when Ning Yu was talking about that person, the expression on his face seemed like some important internal organs in his body fell to the ground.

She finally asked: "Let me say something bad at the end, it is also advice. You have been saying that you need him, so what can you give him? Ning Yu, feelings cannot be satisfied by only one person."

Ning Yu's answer was stupid and childish, but it sounded sincere——

"Give me all I can," he said.