gentle and affectionate

Chapter 36.

I don't know how long it took before the darkness before dawn finally leaked a ray of pitiful light.

What filled the nostrils was the most obvious damp smell of corruption, and the culprit was probably the simple wooden bed in front of the window.On the old skeleton, there are flimsy sheets in a mess, and the old thin quilt is also rolled into an irritable shape, showing the restless sleep of its owner last night.The cold and hard single bed has been completely cooled since it was abandoned, and it has been further wetted by moisture, so it can only be grayed out in this bleak twilight.

There is a kettle and a porcelain cup on the low tea table. Unlike the country where the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, the kettle is as useless as the bed. It is empty. Alcohol smell.

No faint kudzu tea fragrance.

In the corner of the wall, the empty bottles were scattered all over the place, showing a mess far greater than this amount, and even the wine bottles that filled Kazuwasame in memory could not compare to it.

And I sat on the windowsill, smoking one cigarette after another.

The oversimplified furnishings in the room made the mess in the corners more conspicuous. The broken pieces were somewhat similar to those in the long alley that day, but the most similar thing was that they were lifeless.

Therefore, it is probably because of this damage that the only complete door stands out.The heavy wooden door seems to have been replaced not long ago, so it hasn't been corroded by the moisture too much, so it can still lie there completely, isolating this space from this so-called "home" - separating me and them isolated.

very nice.

Sitting on a cement window sill that is the same as the floor, facing a window with only a frame.The sky outside the window was finally no longer completely dark, but showed an extremely deep dark blue, although it took me a long time to feel this slight change.

In fact, in just a few minutes, the sky seemed to get brighter.

Such a change, which is not obvious to me, can only mean that time is passing.In this space isolated by the door panel, the damp musty smell has never disappeared, and here, there is also the smell of high-concentration alcohol for no reason. The inferior liquid has evaporated all over the room, adding a bit of darkness like a dead person.

To say it is refreshing, there is probably only the rising gray circle in front of me.

I forgot when I learned to smoke.The appearance of the gray-white tiny solid hovering in the air is wonderful, so it is not difficult to guess what kind of curiosity it was at the beginning that made people prefer to endure the pungent smell.I think it was probably a sneaky taste in a boring afternoon when I was a teenager, but I have long forgotten the cause. I only remember that Wang Wei cut off my fine wine for several days, so I couldn’t quit it. I don’t know why it was because of the wine. Or for the reason of making Wang happy.

King Kui can figure out how to use alcohol addiction to overcome smoking addiction.

But... I took a puff, and whatever the reason, it doesn't exist now.

Therefore, the sleeping wine and the dream-like smoke first merged with the inherent corruption of the city from the air.Mixed with all the smells of decadence, the simple but messy room, and the hysterical scream of a woman at three o'clock in the morning, it became a mess, but I don't want to care about these now, and I don't want to spend my energy to fight. reason.

Because I can't move now.

Because I was hiding behind the curtains, breathing in the smell of old fabrics, smoking a full cigarette to wake myself up.

Because, I was looking at him.

——Black clothes and black hair hidden in the boundless night, only vague outlines can be seen, but they will not be mistaken for anyone.I think this is probably the kind of intuition that this ninja often talks about.But his intuition skipped work for some reason, and he didn't even notice me.

So, I also hid in the night, behind the curtains.

He has always been tall and burly, with muscles as strong as a horse, but he does not make people think that he is too fat, and he can even be described as thin and tall, probably because of his taller than ordinary people.I guess, his habit of bowing slightly probably comes from fighting all the year round, it is the closest posture to defense.

Although, that posture is indeed a bit like an old man, a bit funny.

But even so, it will not affect his original demeanor at all.For example, now, he stands there until the sky turns from pure black to dark blue, the city turns from silence to voices, until the hysterical woman cries gradually loses strength and becomes quiet, he has been standing there like a majestic tower Tall and straight mountains.

in silence.

But now, when viewed from the second floor, he is no longer as tall as he usually looks, and his aura is not as strong as before. Standing there alone, his silhouette is a little deserted, which makes people want to understand the continuous sadness .It's just that no matter how long it takes, I can't see his expression clearly, and it's impossible to know what he's thinking, let alone what made him stand in the yard, standing in the middle of the night.

There is no one around him, no words, only the green grass he sows is silent with him, reaching the blue sky.

……

So, I just looked out through the glass window full of mud spots.

Outside, it was a mess washed by the rain.In the over-built city, the dark gray concrete floor is as lifeless as the window sill I am sitting on. The wooden window frame matches the poorly growing trees on the street, and I don’t know when it will be felled into someone’s rotten furniture.

Perhaps it is for this reason that the touch of green in the yard is particularly eye-catching.Two months ago, the grass seeds scattered by the man just took root in the seemingly compacted soil. Until now, in midsummer, the grass seeds have grown vigorously, almost becoming a scene in this old courtyard.This rare piece of greenery made the messy courtyard look refreshed and alive, and the person who gave this vitality was standing there.

I don't want to care about being depressed, I don't want to move, I can't move, I hide behind the curtain, afraid of being discovered by him.

Had a terrible sleep last night.

When I woke up, there was a moonless sky, and the hoarse voice of the clock pulled me back to reality.Dreams that are too real almost feel like memories, almost even the tactile sensation is there. Even though I know everything is terrible and absurd, I can’t use my reason to feel the unreasonableness like before, so I have a long and meaningless dream. Struggling until finally waking up almost crying...

The torrential rain a few days ago took away the unbearable heat, but added the grinding humidity.The joints were sore and turned over and over, and the whole body was so heavy that it was difficult to lift up, but the skin was getting closer to the bones day by day, and the figure disappeared, but the nightmare that had lasted for days could not be eliminated.

I thought he would laugh at me if he found out, because he couldn't even handle this.

When I dreamed back at midnight, it was the face I hadn't seen for a long time.I don’t know if it was a dream or waking up, but I remembered the quarrel with Hei Gang a few days ago. It was the second day after the heavy rain, and the second day after a sleepless night, I also woke up very early. The boy who is not under.

There is no other reason, but his wound festered.

No matter how gloomy the city is, one has to survive. It is impossible to justify two young and middle-aged people in the family to do such a simple thing as going to the streets to buy food.The young man had lost some blood and had better rest for a few more days, but Hei Gang's right hand was festered, but he was still trying to be brave and wanted to go to the street alone.

"I'll go."

It was obviously an inappropriate proposal, but it eased the embarrassment between the two of them. I just walked out without looking at the wound on my arm that might have begun to fester... I have clear memories of the process And chaotic, silent without any sense of time, I just remember that in the end, Sakura and I overcame their objections, and the two of them went out regardless of their objections.

……

I threw away the butt that had unknowingly burned my finger and lit a new one.After waking up, I couldn’t sleep anymore. In the dark night, I didn’t check the time. I only knew that when I sat on the window sill with exhaustion and soreness all over my body, I saw the person in the yard who was almost hidden in the night at a glance. I didn’t know him Standing for a long time, I don't know why.

don't know why...

I heard that he was exposed to the rain that day, and he quarreled with me just after changing his clothes the next day; but what kind of quarrel was that? Right scene, and this probably happens every day, but I don't even look at that face again.

I know he was so angry with me that day, so he couldn't sleep all night, but I don't know why today... I put out the cigarette butt again, and lit it again. This cycle filled the whole night, smoking one after another, watching Looking at him, the blue color around his feet is getting fresher and fresher.

The dilapidated curtains turned out to be such a good cover, and even ninjas with strong insight could not find me. For a moment, I thought about the possibility of wearing a curtain to carry out an assassination.And he stood in the yard like that, his long clothes might be wet by the morning dew, and he took a few steps lightly occasionally, but most of the time he remained motionless like a statue.

In this way, until you can clearly feel that the sky is bright, although it is cloudy and there is no morning glow, it seems to have injected a little life into the city. Gradually, someone's voice sounds.

When he turned back to the house, I stood behind the wall, and when I looked again, there was no one in the gray darkness.

Its daybreak.

So... it's time to wake up from the dream.

Since it was only gray, there was nothing to see. I left the window sill, sat on the bed and listened to it creaking, and then heard the sound of pots and pans coming from the kitchen connected to the living room. The voice shows a daily life that is extremely inconsistent with myself and the city.

I couldn't hear clearly, but I still listened quietly, listening to the unclear daily life outside the door, it seemed that Heigan and Xiaolang were talking.Ever since I became a vampire and didn't have to eat anymore, Heigang has been cooking almost all the time. Occasionally the boy would help, but most of the time Heigan declined politely.However, the reason doesn't seem to be that the little wolf's workmanship is bad. Although I can't taste the taste, I have seen the princess who ate the taste of her hometown, with tears in her eyes while eating.

It's been a long time, no wonder she's homesick.From the time I left Tokyo until I arrived in this city, I have actually experienced several worlds. It’s okay to have no feathers, but if there are feathers... I close my eyes and breathe in the smell of smoke, feel the slight choking they cause in my lungs, and think of those days when I ran for my life He looked exhausted, even Hei Gang looked very haggard, not to mention the two children.

Until the knock on the door sounded, I calmly put out the half-burned cigarette butt.

"Faye, you're smoking again!"

Of course the only one who can call me that is Mokona, and it is the only one, that can still maintain vitality in this dead place, and can so naturally reprimand me for my bad habits.

I resisted the dizziness when I stood up for a moment, stretched out my sore arm to catch the fluffy white ball flying over, and smiled a little: "Morning, you..."

The voice was hoarse beyond my expectation, and I could hardly speak. The young man who had been waiting at the door might have glanced at me, and then I heard Mokona panicked and said:

"Fai Fai, what's wrong with you? Is your throat uncomfortable?"

"Hmm," I squeezed my dry throat, "Maybe I'm a little thirsty."

"There's water here."

Looking at the gray-green in front of me, I was a little dazed for a moment, and quickly realized that this is a water bag that I often bring when I go out, but right now I can’t even say a word, and I don’t care much, so I have to take it with some embarrassment.The water moistened my throat, I don't know if it relieved the dryness, but I really didn't feel it.

"……thanks."

"fine."

"Look, Fay, it's all your fault for smoking too much! Don't smoke anymore!"

"Well, okay"

"It's so perfunctory," the little guy showed a little dissatisfaction, and then suddenly became quiet.

"Mocona?"

"Fay..."

"You look so bad...do you still want to go out?"

"Well……"

What it said behind it was a little unclear, and I responded vaguely.I really have to go out today, and it's not that I don't want to buy more things at once, but the weather here is too humid, and the small and old freezer can't do much.

What's more, today I have to go out to get medicine, and Hei Gang's injury is still not healed.

"Is breakfast good?"

"Well, Mokona ate a lot." Mokona still got excited when he mentioned the food, "Heigang seems to have gotten up early today, and he actually made some snacks..."

Well, it was very early, but he probably didn't sleep.I was a little distracted, listening to the little guy whispering in my ear, the uneasiness caused by physical discomfort seemed to be relieved a little.

Hei Gang was not in the room, so Xiao Lang and I went downstairs one after the other, holding up the railing.

"You..." the boy suddenly said.

"Ok?"

I was a little puzzled, after all, the little wolf doesn't often take the initiative to speak, especially to me, he seemed to hesitate, paused for a while before saying:

"The room... smells a bit heavy."

I froze for a moment before realizing what he was saying.

"It's okay, I will pay attention to ventilation."

"No...or else, today first..."

"Let's go get the medicine."

As I said to myself, the young man hesitated, as if he wanted to say something, but he gave up in the end.It's a pity that I can't guess, because I can't see his expression clearly, I think it's probably because he hasn't slept all night, there seems to be some tinnitus, I took two deep breaths.

"Let's go."

"……it is good."

"you……"

"Hey, why, didn't you just say yesterday that 'Hei Gang' is going to go back on his word again?"

In the yard where I had just stood half the night, he stood in front of me, looking down at me like that night, which made me deeply annoyed why this guy was actually a whole head taller than me.

In this way, it must have been a cold war yesterday.

"'Hei Gang', do you really not want this arm?"

"Good morning."

"Well, is it?"

I inadvertently reached out to touch his wound, because I was too close to avoid it, he let out a very low muffled grunt.Because I couldn't see clearly, I didn't avoid his sight anymore, but I somehow felt that my vision was clearer than before.

Well, is this the legendary return to light?

I grinned.

"Hey, when did 'Hei Gang' learn to tell lies? It's not good to learn from me," I patted him on the shoulder, planning to go out without him, "'Hei Gang' should stay at home obediently and take good care of him. Sakura oh..."

Suppressing the dizziness and wanting to walk away, I was talking to him almost subconsciously, just begging not to say anything that shouldn't be said, which caused him to pester me for no reason.

"You stop."

"open……"

He grabbed my wrist with more force, causing the creaking joints to hurt like being pricked by needles. I tried to shake it off, but found that there was no force at all, and the blood in my whole body seemed to be concentrated at the top of my head.

"open!"

I seldom get angry with him face to face. Even if I disagree with him recently, I just say it coldly, and I have always maintained a peaceful appearance as much as possible. Even I myself did not think why I would suddenly be so angry; obviously he was also a little surprised He paused, but he refused to give in. He only relaxed a little while holding my hand.

"You..." His attitude softened a little, but he didn't give in, "You don't know outside..."

"Just to get the medicine, nothing will happen."

I am stating the facts.The inexplicable anger made my thinking a little confused. I wanted to push him away, but there were double images in front of my eyes, and the distance was even more uncertain.

As a result, the hand that was pushed out was pushed into the air.

"Your eyes..." he said in disbelief.

"Let go—!"

I interrupted him sharply, and then the tingling sensation in my throat came again. I didn't want to explain anymore, and almost used all my strength to shake him away.The arm hurts from being thrown, the blood on the head seems to be more concentrated, and the swollen temples can't be relieved. I subconsciously looked to the side, but found that I was standing beside him, but I couldn't see his expression clearly. Although I know that expression will not be very good...

I just went out like that night, leaving the man alone in the empty yard without looking back at him.

……

As you can see, my vision is deteriorating.

Or, to put it more accurately, this whole body is degenerating—I haven’t sucked blood in the half a year since I became a vampire, and human food has become dispensable to me, so, probably Just like people will die if they don't eat, this body is getting worse day by day... It's not unexpected.

The first thing that starts to show is the mental state.Theoretically, I don’t need to sleep any more, and I slept longer and longer day by day, even my reaction slowed down, and my mind began to be in a trance, otherwise I wouldn’t have forgotten the blood of Heigang that I had been guarding against a few days ago, no As for leaving him and me alone in that situation, almost...

Forget it, anyway, I probably don't have many days left, just let me fend for myself like this.

And that day, I did go out with Xiaolang, and I probably got the things I should pick up smoothly. It is still expected who I met on the way.

As long as you go out, you can see gangsters everywhere. Hei Gang's worries are completely true, but he just used the wrong target... In the darkness, I can only see figures shaking, and I can't even hear their curses. I have to say that my hearing has declined It’s not all a bad thing, I dodged their attacks by feeling, and then listened to the creaking sound of my joints between defense and attack, and suddenly wondered if this was an early experience of the feeling of the elderly, Deafness, blurred vision, and severe joint pain.

That's great, in this case, you don't have to spend hundreds of years in vain to experience it.

Fortunately, after I deliberately kept a distance from Heigan, the hunger for blood has never happened again since that day, and I have no abnormal symptoms other than not drinking enough water and wine. There will be no embarrassment at all.I hate Heigang, because he made me alive on his own initiative, because he turned me into what I am now, a human being, a ghost and a ghost, and I have to carry so many things on my back to continue living, but I But couldn't kill him.

Because of the things on his back, and because of him, there is one more him.

Therefore, I entrusted all this murderous aura that could not be dispelled to that darkness; but the strange thing is that no matter how the blood flowed, my body was as cold as if I had fallen into the cold pool of Thracian... The numb body doesn't know what an injury is, so no matter what the situation is, it can protect the boy.

I finally breathed a sigh of relief until it was confirmed that it was safe, but my eyes finally fell into darkness.

I didn't move because I didn't know where to look. I raised my head to look at the dazzling sky just now, but suddenly found that I couldn't see anything, so I shivered in this midsummer weather. I don't know why. ...After a while, there seemed to be a juvenile voice in my ears, but the volume was not loud. I tried hard to think about how to react to make it seem a little more logical, but my head was swelling and hurting.

I tried my best to keep my eyes open, but I couldn't see a ray of light; thinking that I would no longer have to avoid anyone's sight, I suddenly felt an uncoordinated sense of relief, like the relief that death is about to come.

Because... that would be like suffocation.

The blood was no longer churning, my whole body was cold, and my body ached to a terrifying limit, reminding me of the day when I faded into a vampire a few months ago, and what was even more frightening was the panic in my heart.I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, and the distorted sense of relaxation was quickly replaced. I stood alone in the darkness, and the surroundings were empty.

After thinking about it, I will never see it again...

After watching the figure all night, I was really impressed, although it was hazy, because I never thought that within half a year, I would be able to forget a person's facial features...

"Master Black..."

The voice is so small that I can hear it for myself, even I can't hear it clearly...

I stood there silently, until before the boy pulled my sleeves, I felt the cold hands suddenly wrapped in warmth.