secretly like him

Gu Xun wanted to say too many things to Shen Yanzhi, but in the end all he said was sorry.

He didn't know when Shen Yanzhi knew that he liked him, but he also understood that it must not be today.

Thinking of Shen Yanzhi's kindness to him these past few days, Gu Xun's heart became agitated.

When he deliberately got close to Ayan, what was Ayan thinking in his heart?

Gu Xun couldn't help shivering a little while holding Shen Yanzhi's hand.

He really just, just likes Ayan, he is very happy to be with him, and he didn't deliberately want to take advantage of Ayan...

Gu Xun had a feeling that he couldn't explain it. He didn't know whether Shen Yanzhi would believe his explanation.

Then, Shen Yanzhi felt that Gu Xun's hand holding his hand gradually relaxed, trembling, as if he was about to retract.

Shen Yanzhi inhaled lightly, feeling as if something had opened a gap in his heart, and the pain was so vivid.

Finally, Gu Xun let go of his hand. In the darkness, there seemed to be a lingering sound of his "sorry" just now.

Shen Yanzhi listened to his breathing, which was suppressed by Gu Xun with all his strength, but the sadness couldn't be suppressed, it just accumulated more and more with time.

Shen Yanzhi slowly exhaled the bitter air in his chest, stretched out his hand, and pulled Gu Xun into his arms.

His whole body was scorching hot, Shen Yanzhi almost had the illusion of being scalded.

A scorching liquid fell on his shoulder, Gu Xun seemed to want to hide, but Shen Yanzhi wrapped his arms around him.

Shen Yanzhi said: "A Xun, don't apologize, there is nothing wrong with liking someone."

His voice is gentle and firm, as if there is a kind of power that can appease everything.

Gu Xun couldn't help but feel even more sad, Ayan is so good, why can't he like him as a brother, why should he like him that way!

Gu Xun finally cried out, moved his hands, and finally just grabbed the corner of Shen Yanzhi's clothes, but couldn't help but bury his face on his shoulder.

The cry was not earth-shattering, and it still showed a kind of depression in the dark bedroom.

Shen Yanzhi's eyes were a little hot from his crying, he couldn't tell what he was feeling at the moment, he just...just wanted Gu Xun to not feel so uncomfortable.

In the end... how to do it?

Shen Yanzhi tightened the strength in his hands, and hugged Gu Xun even tighter, as if he could take away the pain from him.

When Shen Yanzhi spoke again, his voice was not as steady as before. He said, "Ah Xun, I don't hate you, I just... I just don't want you to suffer more in the future."

Although they are still different, Shen Yanzhi is too aware of the feeling of looking forward to being liked by someone, but being disappointed in the end.

He didn't want Gu Xun to face this kind of thing, Gu Xun shouldn't be like this, he should like someone who also likes him.

This way the feelings you gave will not be in vain, and you won't... you won't face that kind of great sadness and disappointment.

Shen Yanzhi once thought that he should be careful to pretend that he didn't know anything.

But just now, he suddenly realized that this might be a very bad idea.

For Gu Xun, a relationship may mean forever, and it means growing old together.

That's why he was so resistant and hard to accept the divorce of the happy couple in his impression.

Shen Yanzhi was a little scared, afraid that if one day he fell in love with someone else, what would he do with Gu Xun who had been silently liking him?

And he himself, in fact, is far from being so good.

Shen Yanzhi felt like a liar who tricked Gu Xun into liking him, but couldn't respond to him well.

Pretend to be ignorant, maybe it will be fine for a long time, but what about Gu Xun who silently gave his feelings...

what should he do...

Shen Yanzhi felt a lump in his throat, and said softly: "Ah Xun, you should like someone better, and you should have a good time, I'm not that good, I... I'm very afraid that you will be sad in the future."

Gu Xun grasped the corner of his clothes tightly, his nails seemed to pierce through the clothes into his palms, but the pain was nothing compared to the feeling in his heart.

There may be many better and better people than Shen Yanzhi in the world, but he has already met Shen Yanzhi.

He can no longer see other people's well, he can only see him in his eyes.

So how to like a better one?How can I be happy without him?

How much he thought that everything today was just a nightmare, and when he woke up, everything was still the same as before.

It was obvious that they had just won first place together during the day, and he hadn't even had time to carefully put away the certificate with their names written on it.

Why did it become like this?

Gu Xun never knew that a person could cry so much.

If you like someone, you can also flow away with tears.

It would be nice if that was the case.

Gu Xun's crying lips were trembling. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't form a complete sentence in his mind, and finally he could only shout: "Ayan..."

The voice didn't even sound like his own, it was so hoarse and distorted, it seemed to be ringing far away.

Gu Xun heard himself say: "I will, I will work hard... I will try my best to like you like a brother, just like I like Xiaosong and Juntao..."

"give me some more time."

Perhaps, he just needs a little more time.

The strength in Shen Yanzhi's hand became tighter. He wanted to say a lot to Gu Xun, but the last thing he said was "I'm sorry."

Gu Xun shook his head, his sweaty hair brushed against Shen Yanzhi's chin, he didn't speak, but his expression was obvious.

Don't be sorry.

Gu Xun thought, there's nothing wrong with liking someone, and there's nothing wrong with disliking someone.

Just, don't like it.

Neither of them was wrong.

It's just very simple, one likes it and the other doesn't.

Gu Xun slowly loosened the corner of the clothes in his hands, his fingers became a little stiff due to the excessive force just now.

Gu Xun carefully said softly, "Ayan, don't hate me."

It doesn't matter if you don't like it, as long as you don't hate me.

Shen Yanzhi: "I won't hate you."

Such a good Gu Xun, how could he hate him.

That night, Gu Xun felt that even if he hadn't cried all his tears for the rest of his life, he would have spent all his tears for the next few decades.

He didn't know how he fell asleep, he only knew that the next day his eyes were swollen and his throat was so dry.

Gu Xun heard Shen Lan say in a daze, "Why did it burn like this all of a sudden!"

Shen Yanzhi seemed to be answering something, Gu Xun tried his best to listen, but couldn't hear clearly.

Then it seemed that I arrived at the hospital, and the smell of disinfectant was so strong.

When Gu Xun woke up again, what he saw was the white ceiling of the ward.

Seeing that he woke up, Shen Lan really wanted to cry and laugh at the same time, so she quickly asked him to drink water and took his temperature again.

Gu Xun carried out all the fucking orders, his eyes turned around in the ward.

Not Shen Yanzhi.

Gu Xun's mouth moved, and he wanted to ask where Shen Yanzhi was, but when he reached his mouth, he held back.

He promised Ayan that he would like him like a brother.

But Shen Lan chattered to him: "Xiao Shen took care of you all night before going to school, and you have to treat him well in the future, do you understand?"

Gu Xun nodded, feeling joyful and sad at the same time.

The person he likes is so nice and gentle. The only pity is that he doesn't like him.

Gu Xun didn't know how long it would take to stop liking such a person.

The unit of measurement of a lifetime seems to be too long for him now.

But he still felt that it should take a long time.

Because, he really likes Shen Yanzhi so much, so much, so much.

I like him so much, as long as I think about whether I like him or not, my heart hurts.

Gu Xun took a deep breath and felt his throat hurt so much. He obviously didn't say anything last night, so why did it hurt so much.

Could it be that he is in a bad mood, so his resistance is also on strike?

Gu Xun was thinking endlessly, his eyes fell on the hanging bottle, there were not many drips left in it.

Shen Lan followed his gaze and saw it, and hurriedly called the nurse to change the bottle.

Gu Xun fell asleep again in a daze.

After staying in the hospital for two days, Shen Yanzhi was not at home when he returned, so Gu Xun held back and didn't ask.

He knew that Shen Yanzhi had moved back to live. Although nothing in the house had been moved, he just knew it.

He remembered everything about Shen Yanzhi clearly.

The commonly used things that Shen Yanzhi brought over from the small foreign building are gone now.

Gu Xun sat down in front of the desk, and opened his diary, which was thick as hell.

Those two ice cream coupons were still inside, Gu Xun looked at them and thought of his mood that day.

Then slowly, the sweetness of that day seemed to be scorched, and it became bitter a little bit.

Gu Xun's fingers slowly groped on it, and suddenly found that the date printed on it seemed to be a little lighter, and he was a little flustered.

He looked at it carefully and found that it had really become lighter, and he really wanted to cry instantly.

Why!

Why are the ice cream coupons against him!

Gu Xun felt extremely uncomfortable, and then he saw the name he secretly wrote down at the very beginning of the diary.

The whole person is even more uncomfortable.

If you don't like someone, it's really... so difficult...

Gu Xun took out a pen, and gently flipped the diary to a blank page that hadn't been written yet. After a long pause, he wrote [I don't want to like you too, but it's too late. 】

Gu Xun threw out the pen, feeling that he couldn't even give up on basketball and games completely, how could he give up on someone he likes?

He thought about it over and over again, and probably he just pretended not to like it.

Gu Xun gave himself a thumbs up, as long as his acting skills are good, there is nothing he can't fool!

Then he locked the diary again and put it away, and turned his head to get ready for sleep.

When standing in front of the bed, Gu Xun looked at the empty lower berth, lost his mind for a long time, and finally climbed to the upper berth silently.

Just leave it there, empty.

After Gu Xun went to school again, everyone noticed that after Gu Xun got a bad cold, he became silent for a long time.

Gu Xun pointed to his throat with a smile without saying a word, and Wang Xiaosong added for him: "He's dumb. When he recovers, you will have to bear it."

Gu Xun gave Wang Xiaosong a thumbs up, saying that was the case, and the explanation was correct.

But only he himself knows that the reason for the silence is that he discovered that he didn't know when it started.

No matter what he said or did, he almost always revolved around Shen Yanzhi.

A Yan speaks and shuts, walks with A Yan to school, sits with A Yan in class, after school, plays ball, sleeps, all together.

Obviously, it took about two months to do everything, why does this person seem to permeate the whole life, even his pores seem to have him.

Gu Xun still can't change his habit of talking about Shen Yanzhi, so he can only force himself to shut up.

Speaking of it, Gu Xun didn't know whether it was more difficult to keep his mouth shut or not to talk about Shen Yanzhi, this was simply a worldwide problem.

In fact, they get along well now, but they don't live together, they still go to and from school together, and they still eat lunch together, but...

Gu Xun didn't dare to look beside him, he opened an exercise book and started to do the sample problems above.

He thought, it's just that he can't go back.

Gu Xun read the question slowly, but couldn't help but think in his mind, what kind of couples can still be friends after breaking up, this kind of thing is just nonsense, he and Ayan are not couples yet, it's just exposed, he It was so embarrassing.

If it is two people who have loved each other, how can they get along like friends?

Anyway, Gu Xun couldn't even imagine what he was thinking.

He was absent-mindedly doing the questions, and for some reason, there was a lot of noise outside the classroom.

"Hey! The ranking is out!"

Immediately, many people rushed out, all crowding to the door of the teacher's office.

Gu Xun didn't move, it's not that he wasn't curious, he was just afraid that if he acted too eagerly, Shen Yanzhi who was beside him would see something.

Shen Yanzhi turned his head to look at Gu Xun who was still staring at the exercise book, and asked softly, "Aren't you going to take a look?"

Gu Xun swallowed, pretending not to care, and said, "There are so many people, I am delicate and weak now, so I won't squeeze with them."

As a result, as soon as he finished speaking, someone came to announce the good news.

When Wang Xiaosong ran over, he was very excited, his chubby face flushed, "Gu Xun! Gu Xun! You are ranked 88!"

Gu Xun's first reaction was that this ranking is really auspicious, and then he almost couldn't resist turning his head to ask Shen Yanzhi for praise.

In fact, his neck had already been twisted, and it was only halfway through the twist that he realized something was wrong, and it was stuck again abruptly.

Gu Xun clearly heard a sound from his neck.

Gu Xun: "..."

Will he be the first person in history to wring his own neck?Is there a similar record?

Gu Xun resisted so much that he didn't stretch out his hand to rub his neck, but laughed awkwardly: "Ahahaha, is it... 88, I will tell my mother later, I will definitely post it!"

Then he stood up and said in a panic, "Let's go, I'll go and have a look too!"

From the beginning to the end, he didn't dare to turn his head to look at Shen Yanzhi.

Because he was afraid that after seeing it, he would not be able to hide it.

After finally getting to the top of the list, Gu Xun's eyes stayed on the No.1 position for a long, long time.

Hey, hey, his sweetheart...

Gu Xun grinned involuntarily, and the people next to him thought he was very happy with his ranking, and expressed their congratulations.

While being polite to others, Gu Xun looked down the list and finally saw himself at position 88, an improvement of 10 places from last time.

Although the magnitude is not very large, he is still very happy.

Because, he is a little closer to that name.

When Gu Xun was happy, Min Yibo walked out of the office. When he saw him, he immediately smiled, "Gu Xun!"

Gu Xun came back to his senses, and grinned at Min Yibo: "Teacher Min!"

Min Yibo now likes Gu Xun more and more, who doesn't like a child who is willing to learn and make progress!

Min Yibo patted Gu Xun's shoulder: "Very good, every time there is improvement, we must continue to maintain it."

Although Gu Xun had a thick skin, but being praised by the teacher in front of many classmates was really a big girl on the sedan chair, he was a little irritable and panicked.

Min Yibo saw that he was very embarrassed, he laughed, and said: "Okay, call Shen Yanzhi for me."

Gu Xun: "..."

Your Majesty is just a few steps away!Can't you go by yourself!Don't think you want to be thin now!According to your momentum, it will only take a few minutes to gain weight!

Gu Xun complained crazily in his heart, but he still answered on his face: "...Okay."

Turning around, Gu Xun was contemplating his expression, repeatedly trying to figure out how to talk to Shen Yanzhi more naturally.

When he was in the seat, Gu Xun felt that he wanted to make a face, it was really difficult!

Gu Xun also smiled awkwardly at Shen Yanzhi: "Then what, Ayan, the king called you to come over."

Shen Yanzhi turned to look at him, stared at him for a moment, and then said, "Okay."

Gu Xun's hair was almost blown by him, but after hearing what he said, he finally smoothed it out again.

The days went by day by day, this weekend, a group of boys made an appointment to play golf together, and also went to have barbecue together.

The self-service barbecue opened by his father's colleague is not very popular in the town now. It's the time when these half-children can eat, so it's not too cost-effective to eat a buffet.

Gu Xun felt that he had grown a lot during this period of time, even if he was embarrassed, he could calmly face the time when he was with Shen Yanzhi... embarrassment...

Gu Xun has no shadow over this barbecue restaurant, no matter what happens after eating that day, food is innocent anyway!

Of course, if Shen Yanzhi didn't sit opposite him, he might have a better dining experience...

Gu Xun lowered his head and ate fiercely. Anyway, he didn't dare to look at the opposite side. Suddenly, he felt the chair beside him being pulled away.

Gu Xun turned his face away, almost scaring the flesh out of his mouth.

Damn!What the hell!

The person sitting next to him who was facing him had at least eight or nine earrings on his ear, and his hair was still an indescribable green!

The buddy turned to look at Gu Xun with a cigarette in his mouth, and smiled at him: "Hi!"

Gu Xun: "...Damn it!"

It's not that he wants to swear, it's that he really can't control it!

Chen Feifei saw his expression as if he had seen a ghost, so he asked, "Are you scared?"

Gu Xun nodded stupidly, then became furious, pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and threw it on the ground, jumped up and stepped on it a few times, then pointed at Chen Feifan and scolded: "Chen Feifan! Are you sick? ! Make it like this! You still smoke like a person! I will smoke to death, believe it or not!"

Chen Feifei was stunned for a moment, then laughed wildly: "Hahahahaha, Gu Xun! You are so fucking funny!"

Gu Xun was so angry that he wished he could pull all his hair out!

Seeing him trembling with anger, Chen Feifei couldn't hold back the smile on his face, stretched out his hand and scratched his head: "Don't be angry, what a big deal..."

Then he turned his face towards Shen Yanzhi and pouted: "Who is this, why don't you introduce me?"

He basically knew everyone present, but he had never seen the one opposite.

Gu Xun was stuck for a while, and then introduced to them: "Ayan, this is Chen Feifan, I'm a kid."

Chen Feifei is the child of the model couple who divorced before. Before that, their family moved to the city. Because of this, Chen Feifei didn't take the high school entrance examination in the town.

This will look like it may be moving back again.

Seeing that he introduced himself to Shen Yanzhi first, Chen Feifan curled his lips in dissatisfaction.

Shen Yanzhi nodded to him without changing his expression: "Hello, I'm Shen Yanzhi."

Chen Feifan pouted again.

Gu Xun couldn't take it anymore, and slapped him on the back of the head: "What kind of attitude! Say hello to someone!"

Chen Feifan grinned and raised his head, reluctantly said to Shen Yanzhi: "You are fine too!"

Seeing that he could still listen to people, Gu Xun suppressed his temper a little bit. When he sat back, although he was still angry, the urge to slap Chen Feifei in the heart was gone.

But Gu Xun still couldn't accept Chen Feifei's attire: "What are you doing! You're still green! Do you think you're a green turtle!"

Chen Feite was frank: "I am mocking my father, who made him love my mother."

Gu Xunxin said that this barbecue restaurant may have a problem with feng shui, or it just doesn't match his horoscope, why did he come here twice in total, and all Nima impacted his outlook on life and the world?

Gu Xun stuttered when he spoke: "Ah? You...your father..."

Chen Feifan took the chopsticks and grabbed the meat from his plate to eat: "Ah, don't be embarrassed, he is shameless, why are you embarrassed to say so?"

Gu Xun: "..."

He wasn't embarrassed, he just felt devastated.

Other friends who were stunned by Chen Feifei's new look also came back to their senses. Wang Xiaosong asked sincerely, "Did your father smoke you?"

Chen Feifan sneered: "I am young and strong, and he is weak with kidney deficiency. If he dares to fight with me, it is not certain who smokes."

Gu Xun changed direction: "Then your mother didn't smoke you?"

Chen Feifei didn't sneer this time, his expression lost for a moment, and then he said: "She is busy with being sad, so she is not free for now."

Gu Xun patted him on the back and said sincerely, "It's okay, I'll whip you when I'm full."

Chen Feifei: "...Are you serious?"

Gu Xun gave him a wicked smile: "Do you think I'm joking?"

Gu Xun wasn't joking at all. After eating, he wiped his mouth and smoked Chen Feifei into the alley: "I'll let you dye your hair! I'll let you get your ears pierced! You still smoke! You're going to die!"

Chen Feifan hid and begged for mercy: "Brother! I was wrong! I won't dare again!"

Shen Yanzhi frowned, and asked Wang Xiaosong: "...you don't care?"

Wang Xiaosong was enjoying himself watching the play, so he almost ate a melon seed. Hearing his question, he said, "It's okay, Fei Fei and Gu Xun are on good terms. They both nursed together when they were young. Don't worry, Gu Xun Definitely won't beat him to death."

Shen Yanzhi nodded after hearing this, and his eyes fell on Gu Xun who was chasing Chen Feifei up and down.