sunspot said

Extra

My name is Hu Yuran, a patient.

The days in the hospital were a bit difficult, and it was the kind of hardship that I couldn't get used to.

The branch tree outside the window has always been lush and green, with transparent green leaves, sometimes I am fascinated just looking at it.Once, when the little nurse came to deliver the medicine, she saw me staring outside, smiled, and said it was fake.

I didn't react at first.

She continued: "This tree is fake. Because of the popular story about the last leaf, all the trees planted outside the window of the intensive care unit in the hospital were replaced with fake ones."

After saying a few words from the intensive care unit, she felt that she had made a slip of the tongue, didn't speak anymore, put down her things and ran out.

I think the person who gave this order is cute.

Besides, what she said was right, it was a serious illness, and she had only a few days to live.

In fact, I didn't look at that tree to see the green plants. After all, it's really boring to look at a living thing that can't move for a long time.I know that there is a man sitting under that tree.

It turned out that he was sitting on the steps downstairs, smoking a cigarette, staring into the distance in a daze.

Later, the staff of the hospital went to chase him away, saying that smoking at the door was bad, so he moved to the place under the tree closest to my window.

I don't know what he was thinking when he was sitting under the tree, but my mind is full of him now.

Later, Song Hailin came several times, he watched me staring out of the window without moving his eyes, and once asked me, "If this is the case, why do you have to leave him."

why?

Maybe it's just an illusory thing that I've been chasing for half my life, just like asking why people live.There is no end, and there is no final answer, but at the beginning of life, you want to live, and then you live, it becomes a state, a normal state, that's all.

Therefore, leaving Qu Shiran seems to be a goal I set for myself at the beginning. After so long, when I think about it now, it doesn't seem to matter anymore.leave or stay together.

do i hate him

hatred.

But that doesn't stop me from loving him.

I used to think that I loved that brother Ran who would help me carry my schoolbag, smile at me, and like to drink strawberry pearl milk tea in a small county town. I thought my brother Ran was killed by the current Qu Shiran up.However, after leaving him, I realized that this Qu Shiran is the original him.

Therefore, love and hate are not two irreconcilable contradictions in themselves.

I hate him, but at the same time, I love him.

Especially at this time, there are only a few days to live, and love is infinitely magnified. As for hate, I have no strength.

Su Shen is not dead.

When I saw him, I was taken aback, almost thinking that this was the legendary world after death.

It was only later that I found out that he was not dead.

To be honest, when I heard the news, a small hope sprang up in my heart, maybe, I too... I'm afraid it's unlikely, miracles can happen every day.

From the beginning to the end, I envied Da Heizi and Brother Tiedaner.

It's not that I want to make myself smooth-the two of them have a lot of ups and downs, but I just envy their state of complete trust in each other.

Fighting back and forth is very tiring, but unfortunately, Qu Shiran and I seem to be caught in such an endless loop. If we don’t fight, we can’t do it. It seems that love and hate are both vigorous and life-threatening, and we love to the point of death. It sounds very romantic. , but in reality, not at all.not romantic.very tired.Especially for a patient like me, it's exhausting.

Can't go on vigorously.

To live this life peacefully and peacefully is what ordinary people are afraid of, fearing that they will be ordinary for a lifetime.Maybe it's because of the partiality that I can't get it, but I yearn for such a life instead.

It is destined not to be realized, so I yearn for it.

The day Su Shen and Song Hailin came to see me together, I saw Qu Shiran through the crack of the door.

He just looked in for a moment, and immediately moved away.

Song Hailin carried the fruit basket, most of which were oranges, and a little bit of oranges.

I guess Qu Shiran bought it.

When Su Shen was peeling the orange for me, I saw another shiny ring on his finger. It was very ordinary, but I always felt that the little silver ring seemed to be shining brightly. bright.

The orange was a bit difficult to peel, he concentrated on the peel of the orange, and Song Hailin took the opportunity to stuff a piece of banana from the fruit basket into his mouth.He didn't even look at it, he opened his mouth and answered.

I am amazed, everyone knows that Su Shen hates eating bananas.

The power of love is really great.I wonder.

Before he could think it through, Su Shen turned his head and spat out the banana in his mouth into the trash can, glaring at Song Hailin, "Murder your husband."

Song Hailin withdrew his hands resentfully, and said, "I'm training you, you can't be picky eaters."

"How fresh, almost thirty people, still exercising and not picky eaters?"

Song Hailin chewed and swallowed the remaining bananas, and suddenly changed his tone, "Do you know?" He said, "Do you know when I was the saddest after you left me?"

Su Shen shook his head.

"That morning, after you left, I found that you still had that poached egg left in your bowl."

Su Shen was stunned for a while, then asked, "What's so sad about this?"

"Sorry." Song Hailin said.

Su Shen suddenly became serious, and the corners of his mouth curled up, "I'm very sad, but..."

He frowned, as if he was thinking seriously, as if he couldn't figure it out, "What does this have to do with me being a picky eater? I like poached eggs very much."

Song Hailin's mouth twitched slightly.

He murmured, "Well... this, I originally wanted to teach you not to hold on to the things you like to the end in the future, isn't it, I thought it was wrong, anyway, that's what it means."

"What do you mean?"

"Just!" Song Hailin blushed in embarrassment, "It's all for your own good!"

Su Shen pursed her lips and smiled.

I also laughed along with them, secretly laughing.

I've always admired the way they get along.

Unfortunately, I don't live long.

On the day I entered the operating room, I didn't see Qu Shiran.

But I know that he will definitely be in a place very close to me, looking at me.

But ah, I want to see him.

Look at his face, touch his hands.I'm afraid it will be the last time in this life.

But probably he couldn't hear my inner voice, so he didn't appear until the door of the operating room closed dully.

Qu Shiran, I only hope that in the next life, if you can let me go, I can let you go too.

If we can meet again, let's pass each other.

Finally, I love you.

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