sunspot said

"In my impression, my father is a very gentle person. He doesn't smoke or drink, and he never comes home late except for overtime work. He also helps my mother with cooking and housework at home. He usually drives a big car, and often He was running long distances, but he was always calm. He also put photos of our whole family in the car, saying that he was impatient on the road, angry on the road, and tired. Just look at the photos and remind himself that there are still wives and children waiting at home. , must not drive dangerously."

"I was only in the first grade the year he went to prison." When Luan Jingnian said this, there was no unnecessary expression on his face, it was still her signature world-weary face, with the corners of his mouth drooping slightly serious.

The desks in the classroom were smashed and crooked, and half of the chalk writing on the blackboard was still half wiped.

"This incident spread widely around my house, and it had a great impact on me. I couldn't go to school. For almost a year, I could only stay at home with my mother every day and dare not go out." Luan Jingnian After a pause, he continued: "Then one day, I can't say which day, things suddenly improved, my mother took me to move, I went back to school, and it felt like life was back on track. "

"But it's not on the right track."

"Maybe you don't understand. My mother didn't work. After my father went to prison, our family not only lost their source of income, but also paid a lot of compensation. But under such circumstances, we moved into a large House, life is much more comfortable than before. I didn’t understand what was going on when I was young, but when it got a little bigger, I couldn’t help but guess.”

As soon as he said this, Luan Jingnian restarted the conversation and started talking about his father.

"My dad never drank, really didn't, not because his job didn't allow it, but because he was allergic to alcohol."

"And he has always been very gentle in his behavior. I can't imagine that he was drunk, ran a red light in the downtown area and drove in reverse and killed someone. Until now, I still don't believe it."

Luan Jingnian's own train of thought wasn't very clear. After he finished speaking, he didn't follow along. After thinking about it, she turned to the first page of the small book and started a paragraph of analysis on other trains of thought again. .

"I bought this book a year ago, not long after my dad was released from prison. He hasn't changed much, and his voice is still soft and gentle, but one day I overheard a phone call, and then I started reading Start recording in this notebook and organize your thoughts.”

She opened the book, pointed to the column "5. Song" and said: "During that phone call, my dad was arguing with someone, and the voice sounded very impatient. To the one with the surname Song. It seems that the phone said that the one with the surname Song was on the wrong team, and that he will be re-elected in the next few years, so we can’t let things go. It’s been so many years, and the handle has been brought out long ago.”

"Afterwards, my dad yelled more and more times on the phone. The name of the person my dad mentioned the most was Song - later he was called Director Song, and there was also an editor-in-chief Su. On the other end of the phone I don't know who it is, and my dad never calls him, I call the people on the phone 'they'."

Luan Jingnian's eyes flashed, a little stubborn and shrewd.

"I secretly checked my dad's cell phone, and the call history was deleted very cleanly, but then one time, I came across a text message by accident. The text message had just been sent, and I didn't dare to click on it, but there were a few words on the screen The content of my son's preview reads 'Song Qing is in Qingshui Township...', there are not many directors named Song Qing, and there is only one who is born in Qingshui Township, and then I found Director Song's information on the Internet."

"I've searched for who Director Song is for a long time, but I've always been brooding over the car accident that year. I turned over and over to read the news of that year. I'm familiar with Editor-in-Chief Su..."

Her words were suddenly interrupted at this point, the eyes that were looking down at the book were lifted up, her fingers were still pressed on the words circled in red, and her nails made a shallow mark on the paper.

Song Hailin woke up profusely in sweat.It turned out to be a dream.The words that Luan Jingnian left him in the classroom and said to him that day ended with, "By the way, my father's name is Luan Shengchen."

This was the first time he heard the name of the driver who caused the accident, the person who made Su Shen, who was on the tip of his heart, unable to stand up.But at this time, he couldn't get angry, he could only tremble.Because, if he is angry, if he hates, his father may also have a place in it.

He also has a place in it.

The children of the murderer, these years have been happy, only Su Shen has had such a hard time earning a living, and it has been so difficult for a person to lose everything he shouldn't have lost.

Why!

For such a long time, these words reappeared in the form of dreams over and over again, making him restless again and again.

At that time, Luan Jingnian was interrupted by him.

In fact, he interrupted Luan Jingnian not only this time.many times.Most of them were interrupted by him because he couldn't bear to listen to it anymore. Luan Jingnian remained calm all the time. When she was interrupted, she would stop for a while, grasping the rhythm and continue immediately as if she hadn't been disturbed.

What she asked at the beginning of the day was, are you and Su Shen in a relationship?

Song Hailin didn't know how to answer her.

She immediately asked the second question, "What are you doing in Qingshui Township?"

Song Hailin felt baffled at the time. Luan Jingnian had asked him this question when he first transferred here.

"Go to school," he said.

Luan Jingnian looked at him for a while, then sighed, and said, "You really don't know—"

Immediately afterwards, she turned serious and said, "I don't think you should fall in love with Su Shen."

Song Hailin could barely keep up with her train of thought.

"What I'm going to say next, I have been suspicious for several years. At that time, there were ideas in my mind, but there was no opportunity to connect them together. It just so happened that I had such an opportunity a short time ago, so I compared After a complete speculation, I think it is necessary to tell you the conclusion I got."

"When our family moved to Qingshui Township, I felt something was wrong. Later, when I met you and Su Shen here, I felt something was even more wrong. The son of Editor-in-Chief Su and the son of Director Song. At first I approached You, because I want to know the purpose of your coming here. At first, I thought that you, like me, had found clues, and wanted to check it out myself. After observing you for a long time, I realized that you really seem to know everything. have no idea."

"I don't know what my dad's purpose is here, but it has something to do with your dad. They all came for the Su family. I don't know why they wanted to kill Editor-in-Chief Su, and I don't know they are coming What is the Su family looking for, but they belong to the same group, and they are not... good people."

Speaking of the last half of the sentence, Luan Jingnian's voice trembled.

Asking her to admit her father, such a gentle and caring father is not a good person, and it took her a lot of heart-piercing efforts.

"Do you understand?" Luan Jingnian raised his voice, "Your dad and my dad, as well as the people on the other end of the phone, are all in the same group. He killed Editor-in-Chief Su more than ten years ago, and now he may have to come again. Harm Su Shen!"

Song Hailin felt thirsty.

Luan Jingnian's words were kept in his mind over and over again, did it hurt Su Shen?

Was the car accident that year related to his father?

Su Shen will become what he is today, is it because of God's unfairness to him, because of his father?Relying on the previous generation, I don't know what to do with kindness and resentment?

Whenever I think of the cold, I hit the soles of my feet, my fingertips go up, and my whole body is frozen as if I can't move.

Song Hailin sat on the bed sweating profusely, looked at the dark mist coming in from the window, looked up at his watch, and realized that he took a nap at home until the sun set.

Ever since the weather got hot, everything seems to be agitated, irritable and irritable, the chirping of cicadas and birds is annoying to hear, especially in the crowded classroom full of sweaty smell and stifling heat when.The electric fan made a bang sound and turned half a turn, then creaked and squeaked for the remaining half turn, then bang again, and then turned half a turn in silence.Toss back and forth.

The disturbing noise, coupled with the teacher's eager yelling to drown out the noise, made people's ears and brains stunned.

During the few days of the college entrance examination, the examination room of No. [-] Middle School of Qingshui Township could not be occupied, but according to the usual practice, the students in the lower grades were given a holiday.The original intention of this practice is not to let the students relax, but to do it as a last resort.

The senior three students were divided into groups in the same examination room, and each group had a teacher leading the team. There were only a few teachers in Qingshui Township in rotation. Director Guan in logistics didn't let go.

However, the holiday is a holiday, and the homework is not lost at all, and there are more than usual.Song Hailin was doing his homework in the room while blowing on the fan all morning. He had a terrible headache, so he lay down and took a nap without eating lunch. When he woke up, it was already dark outside.

In Qingshui Township in summer, as soon as the sun goes down, everyone gathers at the entrance of the alley with little horses and cattail fans to chat. When Song Hailin rubbed his eyes and came out, grandma was chatting with a group of people at the door of her house. I don’t know who A watermelon was broken at home, and each person was gnawing on a corner.

Wearing half-sleeved shorts and slippers, he slowly retreated home, for fear that they would call out his grandparents, grandparents, uncles and grandmas one by one when they saw him, and they would have to listen to everyone praise him before they finished.

Back in the yard, he stared at the wall separating Su Shen’s house, and was about to turn over when he suddenly heard a sound, a crunchy metallic sound, he couldn’t tell what instrument it was coming from, but the tone was familiar, Moscow Evening in the suburbs.

He grabbed the bricks protruding from the wall, kicked twice, and flipped neatly into the courtyard of Su Shen's house.

When Su Shen heard the movement, she raised her eyes to look at him, and the tone of her voice also stopped for a while, but he immediately recovered and picked it up again.Song Hailin stood there watching, while Su Shen sat under the grape trellis. The vines on the trellis were full of tangled vines. Because they were old and neglected for many years, the grapes had already ceased to bear fruit. Every year there were only Put down some green vines and withered yellow vines.

A small light bulb with a small wattage was tied to the shelf, and the light was scattering half of Su Shen's face, while the other half was slightly dimmed by moonlight.He put a flat square silver metal shell around his mouth, and moved the position according to the tone, and only then did Song Hailin know what instrument the sound was coming from.It turned out to be a harmonica.

Su Shen was halfway through blowing, seeing Song Hailin still under the wall in a daze, couldn't help but bend the corners of his mouth, his breath was unsteady, and the tune behind him turned and let out a low sob that was like howling. He amused himself.He stopped and smiled at Song Hailin, "Are you putting a tree on there?"

Song Hailin took two steps towards him and asked, "Do you know how to play the harmonica?"

"What's the matter, do you doubt life?" Su Shen shook the harmonica, "I can't imagine that there will be people playing this thing in the 21st century?"

Song Hailin shook his head and said nothing.

He took the harmonica in his hand and looked at it. There was nothing special about it. It was an ordinary harmonica with a silver body and a name engraved on one side.

"My father's." Su Shen suddenly pointed to the name.

Song Hailin responded vaguely.In his impression, Su Shen seldom mentioned his father, and when he mentioned it, he basically used some old things as excuses.Dad's photo Dad's book Dad's harmonica.There are only a few words to mention it, and there is no other description.

He couldn't help but think of the dream just now, the conversation between Luan Jingnian and him was still as if it was yesterday, it was chillingly clear, he subconsciously didn't dare to continue, trying to avoid this topic.

Su Shen herself doesn't like to talk about his father very much. He just played the harmonica for a short time, and didn't bother to stomp his feet and move around. Mosquitoes surrounded him in circles. He had bitten some red bumps on his body, and now that he realized it, it was uncomfortably itchy.

He reached out and scratched his arm.

Song Hailin saw his movement, took a closer look, and said, "Stop scratching, the more you scratch, the more itchy."

Su Shen ignored him and continued to scratch, "It's itchy even if you don't scratch it, it's itchy anyway, scratching can make you feel better psychologically."

His skin is fair, usually a little hard touch can turn red for a long time, but now he scratched it hard, it is covered with several red marks, a large area, it hurts to look at it brightly.

"I can't say no to you." Song Hailin pressed his hand.

Warmly rubbing against the red mark, the already hot mark became even hotter, as if it really relieved the itch.

I can't care less about itching.

Song Hailin reached out and took out a small green bottle from the pocket of his shorts, unscrewed the cap and poured some in the palm of his hand. Just as he was about to wipe it on Su Shen's arm, the smell made Su Shen pull his arm to cover his nose.

"Hey don't move." Song Hailin grabbed his arm back again.

"It makes me have a headache." Su Shen still wanted to twitch his arms.

"Cover it with the other hand." Song Hailin reminded him.

Su Shen raised her other hand to block her nose, "I choked so much that I forgot that I still have an arm."

Song Hailin smiled, "Is it because of your high and low IQ in feelings?"

"I have a headache when I smell the essential oil." Su Shen frowned, remembering the third year of senior high school who had been fighting for a day in the examination room today, and there is still one year left. "I heard that many people use it in the examination room of the college entrance examination. What should I do if I am so choked that I can't take the first place in the interstellar exam?"

"Interstellar Number Two is far away from you even with a headache." Song Hailin praised him, raised his arm that had been smeared with essential oils, and changed his hand to cover his nose. The hand that was covering it was brought over to wipe it, and he was still muttering, "Wipe it in advance to prevent mosquito bites."

After wiping his arm, Song Hailin rubbed what was left in his palm, and wiped it all over his arm.

Su Shen pointed to a plate of mosquito-repellent incense near her feet, "I can't prevent it, and it's useless to burn the mosquito-repellent incense all night."

Song Hailin was about to speak when he suddenly felt something leaning against his leg, and immediately slapped him hard.The mosquito ran away without being patted, and the bitten place immediately itched.

"In front of the mosquito coil, this mosquito is too bold." Song Hailin was so angry that he wanted to laugh.

"That's right." Su Shen followed with a smile, "Where to put the face of the mosquito coils."

Song Hailin hurriedly applied another thick layer of essential oil on his exposed calf.

After the paste was finished, he squatted down and prepared to paste it on Su Shen's calf.

Su Shen didn't wait for him to reach out, and pushed him with a smile, "I can't feel it on my legs, and the smell won't dissipate overnight."

What he said was meaningless, just to explain the facts and to avoid being eroded by the strange smell of wind oil.But after Song Hailin heard this, he was stunned for a moment, and the essential oil suddenly fell to the ground.

The little bottle bounced a few times on the muddy ground, and lay there without much struggle.Only a small drop was sprinkled outside, mixed with the soil, and the unpleasant smell slowly evaporated in the hot soil, humble and insignificant, without even making a sound.

There was still a layer of bright green balm on Song Hailin's palm that hadn't been wiped away. He grabbed Su Shen's hand fiercely, and after calming down for a long time, he sighed to make himself look less disturbed.His voice pierced his throat, and he asked in a low voice: "Brother, would you like to tell me about the car accident?"

Su Shen froze for a moment, and naturally began to feel guilty.Because of hiding Song Hailin's past, those things that he didn't even want to touch in his life.Song Hailin might be eager to know everything about him, he thought, just like he was annoyed because he didn't understand Song Hailin before.

He looked down at the balm shell at his feet, exhaled, and said, "You want to know?"

Song Hailin didn't speak, noncommittal.

"To be honest, what you heard from the village is almost all I know," Su Shen lowered her eyes, "I don't remember, I really don't remember the six years before the car accident, I won't lie to you. "

Song Hailin suddenly looked up at him.

Su Shen smiled, and patted the back of his hand to comfort him, "That's fine. In fact, I may have lived a happy life before, and I may know what it's like to have parents, or I may know that I can walk, run, and dance. What is it like, if you know it, you will resent my current state."

I can tolerate pain, but the premise is that I have never experienced no pain.

"Now, I feel like I have never experienced anything. I was born this way, which is pretty good. In fact, it is not very accurate to say that I am open-minded. If I have the memory of the past, maybe I really can't be so indifferent now. .”

When Su Shen said these words to Song Hailin that he was usually difficult to say, he suddenly felt a lot more relaxed.The arrogance and conceit he carries is tiring, but in fact, letting go of your defenses in front of someone you trust and showing weakness heartily, not only is it not ashamed, but it can also feel redemption.Save yourself by yourself.I am saved by myself who can accept and love that person.

Song Hailin pursed his lips.

"Then you," he asked tentatively, "do you hate that person?"

He asked vaguely on purpose, he could vaguely refer to the driver, or he could ask for his father, for the person behind the phone, hate?

From what he said just now, Su Shen seemed to be relaxed. He was willing to expose his real weakness in front of Song Hailin, he was willing to reveal all the darkness and unwillingness in his heart, and he was willing to take a step forward. The first step is to slowly tell everything he is ashamed to say in the future.

At this moment of willingness, no matter whether he had time to say it or not, but at the moment of making a decision, he was very relaxed.

"Hate." He raised his face slightly, with the corners of his mouth curled up, looking at Song Hailin with confidence as usual.There are only Song Hailin and the thin moonlight in his eyes.

Song Hailin looked at the moonlight in his eyes, it was originally shining warmly, but when it stuck to his skin, it felt like ice knives were mixed in, and it was cold to the core of his heart.

He said, hate.