Baima Weiyang

I don't know if it was God's favor that made me find the two people I was looking for at the same time.I stared blankly at Maggie Ami’s sweet smile on her face, blankly watched the wooden bowl she held up in mid-air close to Tsangyang Gyatso’s lips, blankly watched Tsangyang Gyatso’s There was a slight smile on the side face...until Maggie Ami's gentle voice sounded like a nightmare in my ear, "Dolma?" I quickly recovered and smiled at her dullly...

Gently closing the door behind my back, I sucked my nose painfully, but my eyes were too dry to shed tears.I walked two steps out of my mind, feeling that I couldn't hear the sound in the private room, so I dared to run on a rampage.I didn't know how many short stools I knocked over along the way, and when I reached the stairs, my feet suddenly softened.There was a sound of "bang bang bang bang" next to my ears, and I froze my hands, allowing my body to slide straight down the steps to the stone floor.

I sat down blankly, ignoring the eyes of the whole room looking at me, stretched out my arms and hugged my knees, and burst into tears.In a trance, I felt that someone walked up to me in two or three steps, and gently pressed my shoulders with trembling hands.I paused, and looked up at Gesang who was staring at me, "Actually, I should knock on the door first, right...so it won't be so sudden, and I won't feel so uncomfortable..."

"Dolma..." Gesang's eyes were dimly lit, and he stretched out his hand and slowly embraced me in his arms.I twitched my nose and burst into tears, "Gesang, I'm in so much pain. Do you understand, that feeling... as if... as if my heart was crushed..."

He nodded sharply at me, and raised his hand to wipe away the tears on my face, "I understand, I understand..." I trembled and turned my eyes, and glanced at the counter inadvertently, and the face that resembled Maggie Ami suddenly made me feel ashamed. A hysterical chill enveloped me.I hurriedly grabbed Gesang's robe with my fingers, and I stood up tremblingly, "Hurry...take me out, it's so cold here...I don't want to stay here, I don't want to stay here again..."

"Okay, I'll take you out right away." Gesang held my arm and led me out the door.I silently lowered my head and stared at the stone floor under my feet. There were many people in my peripheral vision, and the tavern gradually became full of voices.When stepping over the threshold, a rough man's voice suddenly came from the counter, "...Let me just say, it's clearly my son-in-law, otherwise how could I occupy that small private room every day?"

I froze for a moment, subconsciously stopped walking.Gesang held my hand tightly, and his dark brown eyes revealed a look of relief, "Don't think about anything, just follow me, just walk out..." My nose was sore when I heard it, and tears poured down my face again. fall down.Gesang frowned, and wiped away the tears on my face, "Why are you crying, brother will take you to have fun! It's no big deal, don't you think brother is very good?!"

As he spoke, he glanced casually into the tavern, and I felt a pain in my hand. When I looked at Gesang carefully again, his expression was already frozen on his face... I watched him clenched his fingers tightly, and his joints were faint. Turning pale, the phrase "deceitful" in the throat fluttered for a long time and finally swallowed it back into the stomach.

Following his gaze and turning back to his body, he saw Maggie Ami walking down the stairs in a trance.I stared straight at her, with no one behind me.At that moment, I really realized that I really have to lose Tsangyang Gyatso forever...

The winter night wind blew by, and the fragrant cloth kept flapping on the window sill.The prayer wheel in the distance was pushed at a constant speed and made a "thrilling, thumping" sound.Walking silently into the dimly lit alley, the noise on the street was suddenly blocked by a thick stone wall.Only the sound of buckling soles of uneven steps can be heard in this silent night...

The black shadow in front of me paused, and there was a deep "boom" in my ear, and Maggie Ami, who turned around, knelt down towards me without warning... The lights from the street shone flickeringly, pulling There were two slanting shadows, one long and one short... I stared at her blankly... Gesang's silence, the proprietress' eccentricity, Tsangyang Gyatso's alienation...all of them were engraved on Maggie Ami's beautiful face at this time .

"Dolma, I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't do this, but I can't control my heart."

I stretched out my hand to hold her arm, and said indifferently, "Get up. I'm not him, what are you kneeling on me for?" Let me kneel down, it will make me feel better..." I smiled, but was speechless for a while.Maggie Ami looked up at me, her eyes flickering, "Dolma, you should feel it, the first time I saw my master, I fell in love with him."

I slowly turned my eyes away, and the thick and simple walls of Drepung Monastery, and the simmering mulberry furnace with jumping flames appeared in my mind... While recalling in ecstasy, I heard my own voice rang out in a low voice, "I know ...because I too..."

"I'm sorry." Maggie Ami grabbed my hand, and the cool temperature came over me, and I subconsciously wanted to shake it off.But looking down at her, her hands trembled unconsciously... In fact, she was not wrong. In love, the one who is not loved is the third party.The person standing between them now is me...

"Dolma?" Maggie Ami straightened her back. Seeing that I had recovered, she couldn't help but said softly, "Actually, I envy you very much. I envy your daring to love and hate. You are not deterred by his identity." , but I backed down."

She paused, and mist formed in her bright eyes, "I didn't understand how I felt about him before, but it wasn't until I learned that you were together that I suddenly realized that my love for him was already very deep." Yes... But from the look in your eyes, I know that you are in love. No matter how much my heart is suffering, I must bear it. Because you are my good friend, and what he loves is you... "She raised the corners of her mouth, but her throat started to choke, "But you left two years ago, and he returned to the Potala Palace. When he frequently appeared in my tavern, I couldn't restrain my admiration for him anymore. love..."

"You don't need to say any more." I stretched out my hand and forcibly pulled her up, probably not expecting me to do so, Maggie Ami couldn't help staring at me blankly.With my hands off her shoulders, I smiled bitterly, "I don't blame you. I left him first, that was my choice. Even if I do it all over again, I will still do that..." After a pause, A fishy sweetness welled up in my throat, "You are not wrong. I do love him very much, but you can also love him. I have no right to stop your love. Besides...he doesn't love me anymore... I could let go back then, and I can do it now...as long as he can be happy..."

After I finished speaking while twisting my breath, Maggie Ami was already in tears.I smiled and patted her on the shoulder, "At that time, I was sure that he would never give up on me, so I would rather be sorry for him than for him to be sorry for the Tibetans. Now... well, he doesn't love me anymore, I won't be so tired anymore. When I was around him before, I always made him angry..." As I said that the tears seemed to rush out of my eyes again, I hurriedly closed my eyes and suppressed the hotness. "I can't bring him happiness anymore, but... Maggie Ami, you must make him happy..."

Hearing this, she stared at me tearfully, with emotions in her eyes that I had never seen before.I didn't avoid it, I just looked back at her...beautiful, beautiful at first sight, this is the only adjective I can think of at the moment...Knowing her for so long, perhaps too I have been ignoring her strong inside because of her outstanding appearance.I used to think that she was a weak and shy girl, but when she knelt down just now, she was so firm and undeniable... It turned out that this was the reason why he refused to forgive me...

Facing a rival in love who is kinder than you, what can you do?What's more... That person doesn't want to see me anymore... Let Maggie Ami tell me all this, so straightforward, so decisive that there is no room for turning around... Actually, I was thinking all the way out just now, is it true? It's not that I thought too much about the scene I saw. After all, there has never been another woman around him... But when it comes to this point, it doesn't matter whether I admit it or not.Because... that's the truth...

Turning around, I walked out of the trail without looking back.The street lights hit my face suddenly, causing slight pain.I squinted my eyes, but I only talked for a while, but I felt that I hadn't seen such a bright light for a long time.Turning his head to look at the prayer wheel where the incense sticks were flying, Gesang was looking into the distance in ecstasy.Seeing me looking at him, I hid the pain in my eyes.I don't know why, but this action gave me sudden courage.

I took a deep breath, grinned, and gave him a big smile.Gesang was startled, and then walked towards him.I glanced at him, "Didn't you mean to take me to have fun? Why do you look like you're dying..."

"Hey..." Gesang burst out laughing, but his expression was still a little dull.I had a good time watching it, and I covered my stomach and laughed until my eyes were full of tears... "Dolma?" Gesang's face was a little blurry, and he was vaguely frozen.I waved my hand indifferently, stretched out my arm and hooked his shoulder with difficulty, "I'm fine! Let's go, let's go drink..."

"You know how to drink?" Gesang looked at me in surprise.I gave him a blank look, "Of course. I'll show you how much I can drink today...and see if I don't drink you to death!" Gesang was stunned for a while, and replied dumbfoundedly, "...OK, drink me to death! "The two said a few more words, looked at each other, and couldn't help laughing loudly.

"Bang bang bang..." I kicked open the wine jar on the bluestone slab, and the sound of the porcelain rolling was very clear in the silent night.Turning my head to look at Gesang who was sitting against the stone wall, I raised the wooden bowl to respect him, but unexpectedly, I poked him directly on the forehead... "Ouch!" Gesang gasped in pain, and said He pulled down my hand, "Grandma, poked me several times a night, look, my whole face is swollen..."

"Hehe—" I leaned over with a drunken smile, but there were several blurred heads in front of me.After identifying him for a while, he finally saw Gesang's real body.I gave a thumbs up and stretched it out in front of his eyes, "The Dionysus... really is the God of Dionysus! As expected of the wine that has been soaked in the jar...it can drink better than me!"

"Hmph..." Gesang smiled sullenly, and stretched out his hand to pull me back to the wall.I staggered and sat down on the cold bluestone slab, looking at Gesang's reddish cheeks, tears welled up in my eyes.I swooped over and grabbed his skirt, I was trembling with anger, "Tell me! You...you obviously have hands and feet...why do you want her to feed you wine?!"

Gesang froze for a moment, and opened his eyes immediately.Probably drank too much, he straightened up and leaned back against the wall tiredly.I let go of his skirt in a daze, but his hand was grasped by him, and the same smell of alcohol floated over, "What else are they doing? You... Let me listen to what you said, look at the door and I Just get angry, how many times I want to kick it away..."

I let go of his hand and patted his shoulder comfortingly, "It's okay...it's okay, next time I...I'll take you in!"

"Haha..." Gesang laughed out loud, and I was startled, only to feel a full belch in my throat, full of the spicy wine smell.After a while, the laughter in my ears suddenly stopped.I froze for a moment, and before I turned my head, my whole body was hugged.Gesang gently stroked the back of my head, and his hoarse voice sounded slowly, "Maggie Ami..."

I paused, my closed eyelids tingling.If Tsangyang Gyatso is a wound on my heart, then Maggie Ami is undoubtedly the most ruthless salt on this wound... When it hurts, it will even "prick and prick" and bubble... …I trembled uncontrollably, feeling as though the narcotic sensation of alcohol was slowly fading.Just as he was about to stretch out his hand to push Gesang away, he stepped back first, "Oh! Damn it, how could I have forgotten him!"

"What..." I rubbed my eyelids and stared at him inexplicably.Gesang hurriedly supported the wall and stood up, "Your elder brother came to Lhasa to look for you. If we don't see you again, I'm afraid the whole Barkhor Street will be turned upside down by him!"

"Brother?!" I was taken aback, but after thinking about it for a long time, I didn't think that I had such a relative. When my headache was splitting, Gesang only told me to stay here and hurried out of the alley.

The night wind blew past my body, making me shiver from the cold.Too lazy to think about it, I picked up the wine jar and poured it into my mouth.The heat of the Tibetan baijiu burned directly into the stomach, and after a while, a wave of dizziness rushed to the forehead.The drunkenness of alcohol volatilized filled my empty heart, and I leaned back against the wall in satisfaction, squinting my eyes, staring at my thoughts...

In a trance, I heard a burst of hurried footsteps.I turned my head, and the half of my face that was pressed against the stone brick gradually warmed up.He raised his eyes to look at the bright place, there seemed to be a shadow moving, but he couldn't see his face clearly for a long time.I staggered and wanted to stand up, but what hit my eardrum was an angry voice... "What did you do to her?! Why does she look like this?!"

I paused, this voice is so familiar, it seems to have been heard before.But... where did I hear it... I was trying to remember, but there was a scuffle sound beside me.I shuddered, and my consciousness instantly woke up, "Dunzhu?!"

The two people in front of them stopped, and one of them rushed a few steps.I just felt a cool wind blowing towards my face, and when I recovered my senses, the familiar baby face came into view.I stared at him blankly, my mouth trembling slightly, unable to speak.After a while, the grievance in my heart rushed into my eyes, and I threw myself into his arms, "Beads, little beads..."

Dunzhu hugged me with his backhand, and kept patting my back, "Okay, okay, don't be afraid, brother is here to save you..." As he spoke, he gave Gesang a hard look. , "Tell me how this bastard bullied you, I will definitely get it back for you..."

I was taken aback and stopped crying quickly.Turning to look at Gesang, it turned out that his clothes were disheveled, and his face was full of tears, "I really don't have one!" Dunzhu gave him a serious look, and turned his eyes back to me.I shook my head like a rattle.Seeing me like this, Dunzhu's face softened a lot, but his eyes were still glaring at Gesang, "Then why didn't you say it earlier?!"

Gesang sighed, and almost rolled his eyes helplessly, "You hit me as soon as you come up, how can I say it?!" Hearing this, Dunzhu coughed embarrassingly, "It's good if you don't bully! If you dare to bully, I will definitely Destroy your tavern!" Gesang didn't get angry when he heard this, but just looked at me speechlessly.I apologized with my eyes, and he smiled and shrugged.

As if noticing the communication between us, Dunzhu gave Gesang a white look, and then looked back at me, "What's wrong with you? Who is bullying you?!"

I couldn't help feeling warm in my heart. Although Dunzhu often couldn't understand the situation, seeing him in Lhasa made me feel like going home. How long has it been since I experienced that kind of happiness... Thinking about it, my eyes It was hot again.I lowered my head and buried myself in Dunzhu's arms, smelling Qiongjie's smell carefully, but tears flowed down my face, "Little Zhuzi, I'm broken in love, he doesn't want me anymore..."

Dunzhu was taken aback, and his arms froze for a long while before he hugged me tightly, "Good boy, don't cry, don't cry..." When I heard it, my sobs became more violent, "I...I want to too, but ...But, I...I can't stop...he doesn't want me anymore...I...my heart...it hurts so bad..."

"I don't want him, I don't want him, there are so many men in the world..." Dunzhu patted my back again as if comforting, and seemed to slap the alcohol in my body into a rampage, and after a while , I felt dizzy for a while, and the voice next to my ear was also in a trance, "Stop crying, a heartbroken man, it's not worth your crying... He doesn't want you... Brother wants you..."

I sniffed and raised my face from his arms, "He's not a heartbreaker...I only want him..."

As soon as he finished speaking, Dunzhu looked serious, and stared straight at me with a pair of round eyes, "He is just a heartbroken man, he hurt you so badly, what's so good about that kind of person... Where can I find me?" ?!"

As soon as I heard it, the smell of alcohol rushed to my forehead, "You are not good...you...you are so poor in martial arts and have a big temper, you are not as good as Tashi Pingcuo!" After thinking about it, I waved my hand to deny it again, " No, he also has a big temper... In this way, Ngawang Rinchen is the best." I thought back and forth, and the gentle face appeared in my mind, "He...he has a good temper and good martial arts. The second generation of an official...except...except that Dad is not very good, everything else is fine!"

"Dawa Dolma!!" Dunzhu squeezed my arm angrily, "Don't you think I'm the cutest among them?!"

I was stunned by the pain, stared at the baby's face for a while, and then burst out laughing "Wow", "Yes, yes, haha--little beads are the cutest!" Dunzhu was startled by me. Jumping, it took a long time to recall, "Damn, your laughing is scarier than crying!"

I was startled, only to feel that his voice was blown away by the night wind before it reached my ears.Stretching my neck and leaning forward, "What..." Unexpectedly, Dunzhu pulled me up before I finished speaking. "Ouch..." I staggered, and before I could stand still, he dragged me out of the alleyway...

"What do you look like, a big yellow girl, drunk on the street and not coming home at night!" Dun Zhu babbled like a cannonball.I couldn't help but get a headache, and turned to look for Gesang, who was just a few steps away.I stretched out my hand to grab Dunzhu's robe, and just wanted to talk to him, but I felt his steps stop.I was taken aback, tripped by his boots, rolled crookedly, and when I raised my eyes again, I was covered by a tall black shadow...