backstroke whale

Seeing Avon's knowing expression, I gave her a wry smile, and holding 18 yuan, I went straight to the No. 14 bus stop.

Tonight, no matter what, I want to see you.

I found the place where you live based on the address. It is a simple and clean building. It was dinner time, and I could vaguely see people moving around.

I don't want to disturb your family, but I, standing outside the house, feel uneasy.

This is a very quiet residential area, with a two-story building, decorated in beige and cypress wood, it feels very comfortable and homely.

I can't help but think of the traditional red brick and rubble old house in my hometown in Changhua. The white and elegant old house has a patio where you can see the sky as long as you look up. On summer nights, the whole family enjoys the shade there.

When I was young, my father always liked to arrange the peanuts that go with wine on the ground, and taught astronomy and astrology on the spot. There are seven Big Dipper stars, and they look like this, and there are three Orion stars, and they are arranged like this... I wear pink embroidered with brown Dressed in a doll-headed dress, squatting on the ground and looking up at his father's smiling eyes, the brightest star in the night sky.

What passes between the starry sky and the peanuts is my childishness and my father's youth.

I retracted my thoughts, and the urban style buildings came into view, dazzling and dizzying.

I closed my eyes, swallowed a few saliva dryly, swallowed the night sky in the courtyard mixed with the smell of my father's beer, and played with the watch strap on my hand, remembering that I haven't been home for a long time, and it's time to go home up...

A soft call brought me back to reality from my nostalgia.

"Sister? Isthatyou?" You stood by the window, looking at me in surprise.

I, who was leaning against the wall, hurriedly stood up, and took a few steps forward in a panic. Before I could answer, you had already arrived.

"Standing for a long time?" You asked looking at my messy hair that had been blown by the wind for a long time.

"Fortunately, we arrived earlier than him." I pointed to a black dog passing by the road.

You are leaning against the wall and smiling, holding a glass of water in your left hand, wearing dark blue and white striped pajamas, with a leisurely and natural look.

"Why don't you ask me why I came here to look for you? Don't you have any curiosity, junior?" I said with a relaxed smile, and the bright red dripping on the ground came to my mind.

"Curiosity? Yes! It's worse than a cat!" You drank slowly, and continued, "But at the same time, I'm also lazy than a pig, too lazy to guess, think, or ask."

"Lazy to explain?" I asked tentatively.

"Explanation?" You wondered.

I couldn't hold back my temper and simply raised the topic: "Didn't something happen to your good friend at noon today? The whole school knows about it, and the rumor is that it's because of you."

As soon as I said this, I immediately felt annoyed, annoyed that I was so impatient.

You lower your eyes and think with your head down, the wind is cold.The scene is colder.

"Is the senior sister here for an interview with the editorial office? When did the school magazine become interested in campus gossip news?" Your sarcasm is elegant, cold, and full of arms.

"It has nothing to do with the school magazine, it's just...it's just that one of my classmates is the sister who directly reports to that junior, and she asked me to inquire about it. If it wasn't like this, I wouldn't want to stand here and blow the wind for an hour or two! "I made an excuse temporarily to cover up my excessive concern for you.

"It's okay, if you don't want to explain it, forget it." I retreated and said this deliberately.

"It's not that you don't want to, it's that you're lazy." You looked meaningless.

"Other people's speculation may contain malicious and slanderous attacks, you really don't care at all?" On the contrary, I am nervous for you.

"Aggression? Let them talk about it, just say I'm gay! Don't bother to care about it!" You said it easily, but I blushed because of your words.

It was the first time someone said the word "gay" face to face, and this person was actually "you"!I immediately fidgeted as if the most sensitive nerves were provoked by a sharp needle.

"Okay, then just pretend I didn't ask or come! It's late, I have to go." I was anxious to escape, afraid that you would notice what was going on in my eyes.

Without waiting for you to say goodbye, I picked up my schoolbag and left with a blushing face. Behind you, I saw you off with scorching eyes. My sight was blocked and I turned around at the corner of the street. I speeded up my feet, hoping to catch the last bus.

Back at the residence, I slumped on the bed tiredly and sneezed a few times, blowing the cold wind all night, and now I have a splitting headache.

I learned about your strong self and the less soft side of your personality, and found that I was like a school girl in front of you.

If you say that you attract attention because of your appearance, your self-righteousness and way of thinking are the incentives that people can't help but want to spy on.

It's like an adventure deep into the jungle.

I had a cold for a few days, and lived a life of nowhere, almost hibernating.

Wringing my nose early in the morning to write the Chinese quiz for the morning self-study, the bell rang to hand in the paper, and Avon immediately came over with a pack of Kleenex.

"Are you okay? Do you want to see a doctor?"

"I can still..." I replied weakly.

"Two physical education classes in the afternoon, I think you might as well take time off to see a doctor! Anyway, physical education." Avon thought for me with concern.

"Wait..." At this moment, I just want to find a plug to plug my nose, the rubber kind.

The cold disabled the nose, but did not damage the hearing. I rested on the table and listened to my classmates talking about you. My mood was a bit complicated.

Suddenly, the conversation fell silent, and just as I was about to open my eyes to see what was going on, Avon had grabbed me:

"Xueyi, Xueyi! That school girl...that...she came to find you!"

"Who?" I asked dizzily.

"That schoolgirl...she's outside the classroom! She said she wanted to find you..."

Before Avon could finish speaking, I got up abruptly and walked out of the classroom.

You will take the initiative to find me?It can really satisfy my little self-esteem, and I stepped out of the classroom with great energy, but it wasn't you who was waiting there.

It was Li Xiangyun whose left hand was still wrapped in gauze.

(six)

I long to walk side by side with you without any worries.

I long for you to value my existence.

I long to live in your eyes without anyone else's place.

I desire and you understand my desire.

At six o'clock in the morning, the hour and minute hands divide the circle into two longitudinally.

The train station in the early morning of Sunday, without the embellishment of commuting students, is of course deserted and quiet.

In the gray sky, white smoke still billows from the breakfast car, and sandwiches are neatly arranged. The warmth reminds me of Avon.

Avon is a caring roommate, who will give me hot bread and hot milk to care for me when I stay up late writing and forgetting to eat and sleep.

Then he reminded me with a disapproving expression: "Hunger is the main cause of stagnation of creativity."

Passed the platform, cut the ticket, and leaned on the back of the chair with a sandwich to wait for the train.

Looking at the green ticket with broken patterns in his hand, he began to hesitate.

In the mist and morning light, the prohibition lights on the far side of the train track turned into the pair of bright red hot eyes in memory. Wherever the eyes came, the day was like a night charm.

I closed my eyes and fell into the prototype outlined by the memory one by one.

Li Xiangyun, who is well known for cutting his wrists, unexpectedly appeared outside my classroom that day.

I have seen Li Xiangyun several times from a distance, but my eyes are always on you. This is the first time I have looked at her so closely.

"You are sister Xueyi...from the editorial agency?" She asked cautiously.

I nodded and met her gaze from a step away.

She clasped her hands and leaned against the railing. Her melon-seeded face with phoenix eyes looked calm and classic, and her long, slightly curly hair was neatly tucked behind her ears. If she hadn't seen it with her own eyes, she would never believe that the person in front of her was the same as the hysterical man sitting on the ground that day. The distracted junior is the same person.

I felt that she was examining and moving around me with the same scrutiny.

"I'm sorry to come to you suddenly, senior sister. Are you busy? Is the class of the second year of high school heavy?"

Li Xiangyun narrowed his eyes and said, with a thick sugar-coated tone, sticky.

"It's okay." I waved to Avon who was eavesdropping by the wall, motioning for her to leave.

"I want to ask you a favor." Li Xiangyun took out a ticket.

"This Sunday, our guitar club is going to Chung Cheng University to participate in the folk song writing competition. There are a total of ten people going, and Fiber is also participating. She has been preparing for a long time, and she must be very good when the time comes. I originally agreed that I would go with her... ..." At this point, he gave me a meaningful look before continuing.

"But the day before yesterday she suddenly told the president that she would not participate."

Why?It took a lot of effort to hold back this question mark and not to say it. I don't want others to notice my concern for you.

Especially in front of a classmate like you.

Seeing that I didn't react much, Li Xiangyun continued to say quietly: "The song that Fiber prepared was written for the friend who gave her guava. Fiber said that if the other party can't hear her, there is no need to sing. She decided not to participate. Because I'm sure that friend won't go to hear her perform."

I remembered the unwillingness and anger of being robbed in front of the Madara-level mailbox that day.

"There is another possibility. Maybe she just knew that the person she was supposed to thank was an impostor and liar. She was sad to be deceived, so she decided to give up and quit. I think there is nothing wrong with this." I attacked my opponent coldly.

Attack, and stand by the wound, waiting for Bobo's blood to ooze from the wound.

Li Xiangyun ignored the attack, "I really hope that Fiber can participate, because she has really practiced for a long time, please hand over the train ticket to that person, if that person really cares about Fiber... I ask her to get on the train to go to Beijing in three days. Go to Chiayi."

The tone was not a request, but a threat.

"Why do you think I must know who the guava man is?"

Li Xiangyun, who had been facing me calmly, finally ran out of patience, and his face suddenly changed from red to white.

Caressing the wound on his left wrist, he stared at me with red eyes and said word by word: "I just know."

A pair of eyes are like the blood on a knife, carrying the flame of challenge and competition, slowly fading away, leaving only a small red dot, and finally disappearing.

The tangy smell of rust and the unique shaking of the railroad track brought me from the river of memory to the shore of reality.

No. 33, row A, six cars, by the window.it's me.

Six-car Row A No. 34, by the aisle.will it be you

the answer is negative.

A middle-aged man was carrying a magazine and slowly walked towards the position next to me.The smell of mace wax.

It was seven thirty-eight in the morning.Chiayi.Arrive.

One step out of the station, all the taxi drivers rushed up, very embarrassed.

Difficult simply because there are so many options to choose from.

Just as I was powerless to stand among the drivers, I caught a glimpse of you riding a locomotive in a windbreaker, heading straight towards me.

"Sister, it's really you! I thought I was mistaken when I saw it from a distance, but I didn't expect it was really you."

You stand in front of me with your locomotive on one foot, your hair is slightly disheveled, you look like a traveler, and there are traces of wind.

"Stealth riding a motorcycle? If you don't learn well at a young age, you are not afraid of encountering the police?" I pointed to the heavy motorcycle and said with a smile.

"I'm scared. But I'm not scared now."

"why?"

You get out of the car slowly, turn off the engine, and hand me the key, "Because, now it's your turn to be afraid!"

Your tone is relaxed, with an irresistible certainty.I take the keys, start the engine, and feel your weight behind me.

"Let's say it first, I'm not full yet! And I'm not good at hiding from the police, what if I'm stopped by the police? Are you not afraid?"

You nod.Said to be afraid.

"Then why should I ride?" I asked.

"Because I've been riding for two hours and I'm tired."

two hours?I was surprised in my heart.

"That's right! I wandered all the way from Taichung to Chiayi!" You answered the doubts in my heart.

Driving you along the small and simple streets of Chiayi, you hummed an unknown song in a low voice, smiling like a child.

The cold wind blew away the ponytail I gathered behind my neck, and the hair floated on your face. You sneezed and laughed and said, "You are so young and frivolous, drooling... Huh?"

Although I was unfamiliar with the road and the speed of the car was slow, this road eventually had a terminus. Soon, Chung Cheng University came into view.

I stopped the car and walked into the school gate side by side with you, my eyes were full of green, and I entered my eyes.

You ran to the sun excitedly, stood under the Terminalia lobata tree, stepped on the dead leaves hard, and smiled back at me and said, "I can't resist the dry sound quality of dry fallen leaves, so every time I see With such a large area, I can’t help but step on it.”

The light sifting through the leaves is reflected in your smiling eyes, and your frequent smiles deeply attract me. Looking at it, I can't help but fall into obsession.

Walking behind you, passing through the elegant bridges, fountains and departmental buildings, facing the university campus with broad green spaces and red brick buildings, there are occasional groups of young men and women walking in front of us while laughing and making noise However, it sprinkled all over the place and seductive youth.

The transpired youth is naturally sweet.

"It's worth all high school students spending three years of their youth to strive for... maybe this vastness!" I thought about the quiz on Monday and sighed secretly.

I counted the red bricks on the ground with my head down, and my thoughts wandered between reality and fantasy. I accidentally bumped into you who was turning around and looking at me.

The key in his hand fell to the ground.

"What are you thinking? You're standing there like this?" You said, and bent down to pick up the key.

"How can it be? I don't know who it is...the one who walked well suddenly stood still..." I retorted with a blushing face.

"It just occurred to me that I don't seem to know your name yet, so I can't always call you 'the senior from the editorial office' or 'the senior who gave guava'!"

You stood upright, suddenly stretched out your right hand, and began to introduce yourself with a serious face: "Hello, I am Zhang Yiru from Class 62, Senior [-], I am undisciplined and playful, lazy, have poor grades, and have a terrible singing voice. Nice to meet you , and the [-] guavas you sent!"

"Hehehe, I'm Jiang Xueyi from Class [-], Grade [-]."

I couldn't hide my laughter when I was provoked by your serious actions, so I reached out and held your palm.

In the blur, a strange feeling came to my heart. If this kind of intersecting fingers is the most natural touch between friends, why would there be a presumptuous feeling in my heart that I would not let go?

But in fact, I let go without hesitation, when I realized that someone was watching us not far away.

To be more frank, I almost lowered my head and shook off your hand.

"Hey, Fiber! What are you still doing here? Yuan-senpai seems to be looking for you all the time! Do you want to go together? Everyone is in the auditorium."

A boy with a guitar on his back slowly walked towards us.

"Let me tell you secretly, our senior Lin Jiayuan is so handsome today! A girl asked him to call just now!"

The boy took a narrow look at you, and immediately added: "But he didn't give it! He's been looking for you, hey, he's gone! You don't even need to warm up for the game, do you?"

He patted you on the shoulder with the songbook in his hand, and the big words "Zhongyi Zhongyi Guitar Club" flashed before my eyes.

"I may not go there, please tell Ah Yuan."

"Why don't you go? Xiangyun won't come, and you won't participate when you come. What's the matter with you?" The boy jumped anxiously.

"I told the president that I'm not going to participate, I didn't even bring my guitar! You go to the auditorium, it would be a pity to miss the game, I want to go shopping in this university district, please tell everyone for me!"

You spread your hands and walked towards the square, the words "will not listen to persuasion" are all on your face.

Seeing that he couldn't persuade you, the boy had no choice but to leave angrily after a few words of attention to safety.

Your stubbornness is harder to shake than a rock.

If this is the case, then why do you have to ride the long distance to Chiayi?Who is that Lin Jiayuan?

Questions occupied my thoughts, and Li Xiangyun's cold eyes appeared in my mind.I shivered faintly in my heart.

A gust of wind blew down the bicycles in front of the building, and dozens of them fell together like dominoes.

I withdrew my gaze from a distance, looked at you and asked, "Why don't you participate in the competition?"

"Why did you throw your hand away all of a sudden?" You responded with a question, in a calm but frighteningly direct tone.

At that moment, from the clear reflection in your eyes, it seemed that I was also questioning myself.

Seeing that I didn't answer, you shook your hands and said with a smile: "Sister, don't pay too much attention to my words. In fact, every time someone asks a question that I don't want to answer, I will do this, unconsciously using another Questions to answer others. Heh, it’s just an attempt to divert attention.”

"Hmm." I responded slightly.

"Now, junior, I'm going to do something bad that will insult the school's reputation, and I need the help of senior!"

You stood up, patted your trousers, tiptoed towards the domino-shaped pile of bicycles, and smiled excitedly.

I looked at the bicycle and then at you, and immediately understood what you meant.It really is a bad thing that insults the reputation of the school.

Had to get up and watch out for you, because you're brazenly stealing a bicycle in broad daylight.

I don't know whether to admire your courage or my courage.

Five minutes later, we all rode a black bicycle wandering around the campus.

You stepped on the pedal with one foot, and I lightly rested the hand on your waist, not daring to put any weight on it.

The campus is huge and there are many slopes. You will be sweating profusely after riding for less than 15 minutes.

Along the way, we enjoyed the high-density plants and the sound of birds passing through the forest, chatting about music and the future.

Sitting on the side of the playground and eating bread for lunch, time flies by at the speed of light.

What impressed me the most was your sullen tone when I asked about your father and the fact that you were a vegetarian.

"I ask you, we are riding so happily now, what if the owner of the car finds out? This is a stolen property." I asked curiously.

"Are you afraid?" you asked back.

"Of course not! I didn't steal it."

"I didn't steal it either! I borrowed it. Who told the owner not to lock the car, no matter what, I paid the rent." You are quite confident.

"Rent?" I asked in surprise.

You turned your head and said, "Okay! Since you're so curious, I'll take you to meet the owner of the car."

We rode to the auditorium where the competition was held and stopped, and walked into the venue.

In the huge hall, there were many figures and voices, and a sense of dizziness struck.

It was such a headache again, and I frowned unconsciously.

It seems that the competition is over, and there are figures moving around with guitars everywhere. A boy wearing a black long-hooded T-shirt and big jeans, with a trophy in his hand, pulls you to talk as soon as he sees you.

Is he the owner of the car?I thought to myself, a sour smell surged from my heart, I don't want to disturb you because of my pride.

Just about to leave the venue and find a place to nest, a girl wearing an orange scarf suddenly pulled me and started talking: "You are the school girl who gave guava to Fiber, right! Your surname is Jiang, right? Xiangyun I mentioned it before. Uh, I’m Lin Wenhua, the president of the guitar club, in the third year of high school, Class [-].”

"Hello, senior." I forced a smile, faintly feeling the pressure of my grades.

"You are very kind to Fiber." She warmly pulled me to sit on the chair together.

"Eh? Will it? Everyone treats her very well, don't they?"

"I said Fiber, she is the kind of girl who is easy to get close to. She is free and easy, hearty, unpretentious, crazy like a child, and people can't help but want to treat her well. Everyone loves her and protects her. , But, because of this, it is easy to cause some misunderstandings in public opinion.”

She glanced at the boy who was talking to you, and said meaningfully: "Did you know? That boy, the one standing next to Fiber, is a freshman in the Department of Foreign Languages ​​at Chung Cheng University this year. They are a couple! He was still studying in the past. When I was in first middle school, Fiber was still in middle school, so I got tired of practicing piano with him all day long..."

There was a muffled thunder in his ears.The feeling of dizziness was recorded one after another.One wave is stronger than the other.

I don't know what else the president said after that, and I don't know how long it has passed.

Your smiling face is actually reflected in the orange totem that is too thick to melt.

"Sister? Sister Xueyi? Are you okay?" You squatted beside my chair and shook my shoulders.

I meet your eyes, and your eyes are full of concern.

I actually have the urge to hug you tightly, even, I doubt that I really did.in the heart.

"Is everything all right?"

A voice with the same articulation as yours sounded behind you, the only difference is that the voice came from the boy next to you.

He extended his hand generously to me: "Hello, I am a friend of Yiru, a junior high school senior, Lin Jiayuan, you can call me Sam."

"Hello." I responded lightly.

"You are the senior who gave fiber fruit? I have heard of your name for a long time!"

I felt sick to my stomach at his sophistication.

Gather up and look at the human being who is your boyfriend in front of you.With neat short hair and thick eyebrows, he is not handsome, but he has an aura that is different from other boys. Maybe it is because he is wearing a size two bigger, which looks very special in the venue full of tight AB pants.

"OK, then lend me the bicycle first. Also, congratulations on winning the excellent work of the university group. I still have important things to do, so let's go first!"

You dropped the words to him, dragged me and walked out of the auditorium, leaving behind Lin Jiayuan who was hesitant to speak, holding his guitar in place.

It was almost stuffed into the back seat of the bicycle by you.

Even if he left in a hurry and left under the eyes of everyone, he would still not ignore the displeased look on the face of the president of the guitar club standing aside.

The cold expression is paired with a warm orange scarf, ironic and alienated.

The sun slowly snuggles into the restrained twilight.

You pedaled your bicycle very fast, like a star gliding on a green path, and flew towards the stadium on the side of the mountain quickly.

The hand on your waist involuntarily tightened.

Sitting in the back seat, I don't say a word, imagine if you are often sitting in the same seat and being driven around the campus by the owner of the car?

I maintained a rare silence along the way, and you just concentrated on riding the bike without looking back.

Melancholy melted slowly in my heart, and jealousy was like tears, which couldn't hold back no matter what.

When we arrived at the open space of the stadium, you threw the car away and dragged me to the commander's platform. The back of your clothes was wet.

"The car is here, what if it gets stolen?" I asked.What's more, this is your boyfriend's bicycle, I thought to myself.

You waved your hand, "If the old ones don't go, the new ones won't come."

Jealousy and depression sour to the bone, do you know if you are aware of it?

Or, I'm just a wishful follower, you don't bother to care at all?

I don't know why, but I vaguely understood the real purpose of Li Xiangyun's ticket. The memory chip in my mind was severely implanted into the picture of Lin Jiayuan looking at you and smiling, the pain that could not be removed.

"Wait for me here, the sunset is beautiful here, don't fall!" You pulled me to the top steps of the command platform, left in a hurry after leaving a sentence.

I sat on the steps, the cold wind was not so gentle, it had the warmth of sunlight, and the distant mountains and rivers had a color temperature of blue with blue.

I don't know when you stood behind me, smiling silly, holding a brown guitar in your arms.

"Suddenly wanted to sing while watching the sunset, so... I ran to borrow a guitar." You said and handed me a can of coffee.

Hands are hot, heart is warm.

You sit down against the wind, adjust your tunes, and start singing as if no one else was there:

The sky has nothing to do with me, the forest has nothing to do with me

The rainbow has nothing to do with me, the seasons have nothing to do with me

Snorkeling in the ocean waves

I am a wandering sea plant

Want nothing at all

You are a backstroke whale in the sea

I can't take anything with me

actually don't want anything

because I can't take anything with me

You have played the last chord at the end of the piece steadily, and the index finger of your left hand is still in the third position.

I didn't applaud, I didn't shout encore, I didn't even dare to meet your eyes.

There is no smell in the air other than the aroma of coffee, just quietly watching the last touch of yellow and rust-colored mountain shadows on the horizon.

In the twilight, you handed me a note, with the lyrics of the entire song written in personalized handwriting.

So I know this is a song you gave me, a song that is completely from you and only belongs to me.

We walked down the steps, returned the guitar and bicycle, and we walked in the night.

The atmosphere of silence is stainless steel air, cold and hard, even worse at night.

There is still no lack of human warmth around us. Couples of couples walking, and people who are double-carrying night tours keep passing us.

Finally you decide to break the silence and propose to play a game of Solitaire, and the loser has to ride the motorcycle to the train station.

"I'll start first, let's use "why" as the theme, and we must have the three words "why" in every sentence we say." You said.

Before I could answer, I started playing on my own, "Why does the university have a lake? Sister, it's you."

"Why do universities have bronze statues?" I said without thinking.

"Why can't middle school students fall in love?" You stared at the oncoming couple, raised your eyebrows and said.

Why can't girls date girls?I whispered in my heart.

"Oh! You're poor? Isn't your senior from the editorial agency?" You rolled your eyes into moons and smiled teasingly.

Just as he was about to retort, he found Lin Jiayuan standing at the school gate from a distance, looking around, thinking he should be waiting for you.

Withdrawing my eyes, I immediately met your smiling eyes. An inexplicable burst of anger rushed straight to my forehead. All the jealousy, jealousy, anger, and love all rushed up. I couldn't hold it anymore, and broke out in one breath. Three questions that should not be asked:

"Why do you accompany me and not your boyfriend? Why do you sing to me? Why do you write a song for me?"

You stop and respond to me with silence.Until a fallen leaf falling on my left shoulder was gently brushed away by you.

"Goat's hoof..." you said slowly.

"You lost...you should have answered with a question."

You walked to the bridge near the school gate, looked at the reflection on the lake, and suddenly countered coldly:

"Why did you give me guava? Why did you have to give it for three months? Why didn't you show up for so long?"

"Because I'm in love with you," I said.

(Seven)

It is not regrettable, it may be more appropriate to say that it is panic.

On the dim lake surface, with such an emotional and hateful cry, all the dormancy and exploration are exposed to the sun.

The scheming that you think is perfect, without any trace of concealment, shatters and disintegrates in front of you one by one.

It's like I'm standing naked in front of your eyes, waiting for you to dissect.

I feel sorry for the bewildered shock in your eyes, so I personally handed you a sharp knife, called confession.

However, this was originally just a private matter of mine!

I have never regretted choosing such a heavy way to respond to you.

Cruelly losing my self-esteem for this, I am still glad that I still have the courage to talk about love frivolously.

"I'm in love with you."

It was the last sentence I said to you in my high school years.

When I returned to my residence in Taichung, my whole body felt light as if I had collapsed.

Perhaps it is because I have actually felt the heaviness before that I can realize the lightness at this moment. The heaviness has weight because of the lightness; the lightness has the position because of the heaviness.

I know that the lightness I feel at this time is because I have transferred some of the weight to you.

I forgot how to leave the university lake with you, forgot how to get on the train, and even tried to forget you.

However, the scene of playing and singing against the wind, and the scattered notes on the command platform, all still remain in my mind.

Suddenly there was a rustling sound of footsteps outside the door, and a pair of blue slippers lingered on tiptoe.It's Avon.

She gently stuffed a history reference book through the door and left quietly. The note paper clipped to the book was written: "Tomorrow I will take the exam of history seventh and chapter 8. The key points are marked with a red pen. Hurry up." Read it! There are cold noodles from the convenience store on the table, if you are hungry at night, you can eat it.”

A burst of warmth spread out like rice paper dipped in ink, peacefully waking up in the southern sunlight.A smile slowly crept up his lips.

It is a happy and warm thing to have a roommate who always remembers to care about your belly.At this moment, I am sincerely grateful.

Put the note paper on the desk, turn on the radio, and try to sort out your mood.

Turning around to pick up the days that I can’t count, the bitterness of looking forward to you, the beauty of getting along with you, the anxiety of being watched by you, the sadness of seeing you staring at others... Only then did I realize that you are here to enrich me memory.

In this part, I'm still lucky.

It's all just that you chose another lucky person to enrich you.

One lucky boy.

Some things, once said, it means giving up.

Hastily left this sentence in the diary, and closed it with your lyrics.

I'm a wandering sea plant that wants nothing

You're a backstroke whale in the sea and you can't take anything with you

You should have known it earlier, Fiber, I am not even willing to let you frown, what will I use to force you?

After returning from Chiayi, I changed my attitude towards you and devoted all my energy to writing manuscripts.

I kept writing, writing obsessively and evasively, and then submitted articles to sell my works.

From the school journal essay solicitation and inter-school competitions to the large newspaper supplements, the occasional income from manuscript fees is when a group of roommates who leave their hometown to study gather together.

For this reason, Avon really went to subscribe to the United Daily News for half a year, and even skipped school to get back a toaster worth 300 yuan as a gift. The roommate laughed hard for three days.Every time she was asked about ordering newspapers, she always said seriously:

"Xueyi's manuscript fees have been eaten by me, so it's only natural to help her cut and paste articles!"

I kept writing at a speed that surprised even myself. The energy poured out in this way not only broadened my horizons for myself, but also planted the paranoid factor that I would have to live by gnawing on words in the future.

In the increasingly thick scrapbook, the years without you are recorded.

From midwinter to midsummer, a solid seventy or eighty pages.As soon as the electric fan blows, the small room is suddenly fragrant.

Entering the third year of high school, the atmosphere of life changes suddenly.

There are more Arabic numbers on the wall that become less and less every day. The teachers who come and go on weekdays start to increase the number of lectures with a sense of mission. Students who compare each other have dark circles besides the mock test scores. thickness of.

The weather is getting hotter, the sky is getting bluer, and the mango trees in front of Zhuang Jinglou are getting more and more fruity. The warm wind is blowing, and the fruit is fragrant.

In the years when books are piled up, people's madness is the only adjustment, and you must grab a mango.

Picking a refreshing evening, before the eighth class, I made a tool for picking mangoes with a bamboo pole and a net for fishing, and went to the second floor to pick mangoes that were not ripe at all.

Avon fished the tree with a net for most of the day, but only caught one, and it was too small to know if it could be eaten.

"Why do you have to eat the mangoes from the school's mango tree? Can the market buy them for you?" Avon asked breathlessly.

I saw her slumped on the fence, rubbing her sore arms.

I smiled and wrapped the only mango in my hand with tissue paper and put it on her hand.

"I heard from my sister that if a middle school girl eats the mangoes from the school's fruit tree, she must be admitted to a national university for the entrance exam!"

"real?"

"Of course it's true." I suppressed my laugh and nodded sincerely.

She held the mango and dragged me to the class.

"Then let's go! I have to cut everything into 42 parts, and share one point with the classmates! Don't worry, I will cut big pieces for you, so that you can be admitted to National Taiwan University in one fell swoop! Hahaha..."

Avon's refreshing laughter caught the attention of people on the sidelines of the court. As we walked, we could vaguely see a figure on the court who seemed to be looking towards us.

The dreamlike figure made his heart suddenly tighten.

I have been avoiding you for several months, maybe you are no longer what I remember, is that familiar figure really you?

Before I could tell, Avon had pulled me back to the classroom.

The sky outside the window was half-orange and half-purple, and the moon was rising in a translucent shape. The honor guard girls were still practicing desperately with their guns on the playground.

Maybe I only make a single-frequency inertial movement between the classroom and the cram school day after day, which is also a serious practice.

Practicing indifference to you.For my lonely and fragile self-esteem, I seal you