Hey, where is my knife?

DAY5 quarrel

As it turns out, Truth or Dare is a really, really bad game.Especially when everyone is drinking too much and talking nonsense!

"No, no, no... hiccup, brother Kai chose the truth again? Then... hiccup, this time I have to ask an extremely sharp, straight-to-heart question."

"I'll come, I'll come, I'll come!" Jiang Xiaobai raised his hands in circles, "Brother Kai, suppose, it's a hypothesis~ Assuming there was no problem of principle, would you not have divorced someone?"

"..." Drinking was a mistake, really.

Especially when everyone is drinking too much, completely forgetting what to say, and only someone who comes to pick up someone is not drinking too much.

Especially, when no one sees someone at all, and someone appears quietly and eeriely behind everyone.

……

In the autumn of that year, it was very cold in October, and the heating had not yet come.

Mr. Li's heart is also cold and awkward.

Ji Kai: "No, didn't I have no time to answer?"

Li Weidu: "If there is no ghost in my heart, I will deny it on the spot. I don't know you yet?"

Ji Kai looked up at the sky.

How should I put this matter... It's too old to be completely unconscionable.In fact, if he hadn't cheated at the beginning, he would have no reason to divorce that marriage, although he would never dare to say this for the rest of his life.

Rubbing next to a certain sunfish, Li Weidu said, "Don't touch me! Since you still have nostalgia, go back and go with your ex!"

Ji Kai: "No nostalgia! Absolutely no nostalgia, it's time to leave!"

Li Weidu: "It's late."

As it turns out, reasoning with a sunfish is a lot to think about.It was already midnight on such a cold day, yet Mr. Li was still angry and dressed in thin pajamas, sitting on the cold leather sofa in the living room with a pillow in his arms and ignoring people.

Ji Kai came out: "Go back to the bedroom and sleep, you're going to catch a cold like this."

Li Weidu: "Don't sleep! I'm sleeping on the sofa today."

Ji Kai then nodded, turned and left.

Li Weidu: QAQ

The life after marriage is enviable, and outsiders see it as sweet as honey.In fact, there is no love for a long time!Don't even come to care if it will freeze to death!Li Weidu curled up on the cold sofa alone, pitifully weak and helpless.

After a while, Ji Kai came back.

Holding a cup of hot water, he sat down next to someone who was shivering with cold, and could clearly feel that someone was struggling fiercely between continuing to be angry and giving up resistance because he couldn't resist the warm temperature on his body.

"drink."

Li Wei didn't even want to pick it up, but it was too cold.

Holding up the warm cup, I suddenly felt Ji Kai's feet stretched out. The moment the soles of the feet touched the backs of the feet, the sad peripheral circulation finally regained consciousness.Li Weidu was shocked. It turned out that both feet were already frozen to death? !

"..." There is still love.

Just sucking the temperature of others for a while, Ji Kai suddenly stood up again: "I'm really sleepy. If you insist on sleeping here, I'll get you a blanket."

Li Weidu continued to feel sorry for being weak and helpless.

After holding on for a while, Ji Kai's blanket came back.While throwing down the blanket, the whole person was warmly pressed down, nestling on the sofa, squeezing the person inside and hugging tightly.

……

When he woke up the next day, Li Wei hugged his muscular and flexible waist in a spineless manner, with his thighs still on his buttocks.

"..." No, Caicai didn't want to reconcile.

It's all because it's too cold!

***

DAY6 Face St.

"Look, Uncle Li, there are 5 people in my live broadcast room!"

Zhu Yan held up his mobile phone and frantically slapped Li Weidu's face the whole time.Li Weidu was expressionless.

"A lot of people give me gifts!"

In the live broadcast room, there are all kinds of flowers, hearts, and exclamation marks on expressions, all kinds of "Wang Huohuo, you are so awesome, you are actually Mr. Li himself!"

Mr. Li is probably a typical rich man who is handsome but low-key.So even when he was a diamond single young man, he didn't go out of the country often, and was chased and called "husband" every day.

However, it is different in the world of their company's online game "Prosperity".

In "Prosperity", Li Weidu, the chief designer, is undoubtedly a well-deserved first-class male god-level existence.

Even the largest guild in the game is called "Little Wife Group", and its full name is "Li Weidu's Little Wife Group".

At present, Zhu Yan can be regarded as a minor figure in this guild.

The reason why they joined this guild back then was very simple and rude - they were all called "little wives group", obviously there were many girls.As expected, except for him, they are all girls, and they are loved by the group every minute.

The "little wives group" has strict promotion rules.

When you first come in, you are a "little master". After three months of continuous daily contributions, you can be promoted to "promise", and after one year, the top 30% of contributions will be promoted to "persistence", and so on.

Zhu Yan has been playing for a long time, and it is said that he should be promoted to "noble person" next month.

But it still feels too slow.So he directly boasted to the group members that he could "face the saint" and wanted to leapfrog directly to the imperial concubine.

As a result, colleagues in the guild said one after another, heh!Would you like to show us one?You can really face Mr. Li, don't leave the imperial concubine, you kid is the queen of this group!

As a result... the face-to-face was successful, and it was broadcast live.

Ding dong——Your guild title has changed, all the sisters: "Auspicious Queen Empress".

"Ahaha," Zhu Yan spun around happily, "The new queen Wang Huohuo thanked His Majesty Long En!"

Li Weidu: "..."

What kind of silly boy is this?Stupider than his relatives...

Fine.

He was photographed for more than half an hour in vain, the bear's debt of favor, he bears his father to pay.

***

DAY7 European Emperor

Ji Kai occasionally plays Prosperity, playing the role of a nanny loli girl.

Although I have reached the full level and joined the camp, but in fact it is just to get the level title mixed with a beautiful bag sent by a system. The whole person is basically a daily salty fish appearance and landscape party.

One day, wearing a nanny outfit, I went to the war zone to dig herbs.

Although the game stipulates that once you join the faction, there is a risk of being killed by the enemy in the war zone.But at the same time, the game also has a small customary rule-wearing milk costumes has too low attack power, but being in the wild is equivalent to being listed and exempted from fighting.

Ordinary people also abide by the rules and don't bully enemies in milk suits in the wild.

But that day, when Ji Kai was leisurely digging for herbs, he was attacked by someone!

"Call me brother." A young man dressed up as a male high school attacker beat him to the point of death, and was still jumping around proudly beside him: "Little Lolita, be good, call me brother!" do not kill."

Ji Kai opened the microphone: "How shameful to pretend to bully a basic milk? Gewuen, get out."

The other party made a big move: "Damn! Such a cute shape, and a bunny bag on his back is actually a dead ladyboy, a waste of emotion, and a vendetta!"

Ji Kai: "..."

Then, inexplicably, the daily life of being squatted by neuropathy every day, being wiped out when going out, and even being slaughtered in the city began.

Ji Kai is really a fisherman, and his hand speed is not good.

And the opponent's master skills are really good, even the system government NPCs come to catch him, but they often fail to catch him many times.

It was only later that he found out that this person can be considered a top [-] PvP expert in the entire server.The reason why it is only in the top [-] is because he "never played seriously".

This kind of master, who abuses the handicapped and the external party every day, of course has no pressure.

However, the masters never expected that an unimaginable thing happened that day when the nurse Xia Luoli chased her to the door of the Demon Cult.

Little Lolita "Help, help~" and hid behind the NPC.And that NPC is none other than the big boss "Li Aotian, the leader of the Demon Cult" who is patrolling here.

Demon Cult Leader: Someone who dares to bully me?

Master: Damn, the NPC speaks its own lines without clicking it?By the way, is there a subplot here?Is it possible that I have been dazzled by the Internet recently?

Master: Damn it!Hierarch, why did you attack me!

I belong to our Demon Cult camp, that little lolita is the remnant of the righteous way!

Then, the leader of the NPC Demon Sect pulled the little loli behind him.Mopping her head, she threw an invincible golden bell cover to the little Lolita.

Then, I saw Dayi Mie, the leader of the NPC Demon Cult, with a big move to kill his character in seconds.

Demon Cult Leader: "Get lost."

Master: "..."

Turn on the mic for a second, yelling crazily in your guild channel—what the hell, you don’t know what happened just now, what the hell, our BOSS Li Aotian actually protected the righteous little loli, and the little loli I met was a precipice The player is not an NPC, but a man dressed as a woman!

How could this horse-riding NPC favor players?Should not!Is Lao Tzu living in a real "Prosperity" family? !

Members of the guild: Boss, have you been masturbating too much lately, tired and not clear-headed?

"..." The master also suspected that he was masturbating too much.

I logged off the line decisively, and slept calmly all afternoon.Online again at night.

The target of the vendetta, the nanny, Little Lolita, is positioned...still in the Demon Cult's Blood Palace.

Status is Alive.

But, it shouldn't be!

Righteous people go to the Blood Palace, if they don't turn on stealth, they will be chased and intercepted by all NPCs immediately!How could that person be fine if his hands were still so disabled!

A "going with you like a shadow" followed.Teleported to the lobby of the Blood Palace, the little loli was sitting and drinking tea with the leader Li Aotian.

It's a good one to raise a glass to invite the bright moon, and the shadows become three people.

Wait, what is the little loli eating?

The "big tonic" and "mysterious fruit" of the Demon Sect? !The big potion is five hundred gold each, and the mysterious fruit is five thousand gold each, the kind that can add skill points... Now the leader is asking her to eat it! ?

"Damn it, come and see it!"

……

That night, the leader of the Devil's Cult had Mrs. Lolita and the news was spread ten or ten times, and the Serene Blood Palace was crowded with the Demon Cult's onlookers.

"Sigh. The leader's wife is actually a famous and righteous family, the eternal curse of this world..."

"Weakly would like to ask, what about Xiong Er Er at the door?"

"Is the system bug..."

The blood volume of the demon leader is 999999999 times that of ordinary full-level players.Experts know that if you provoke a little loli here, you will definitely lie down.

The next day the master woke up and turned on the phone, and the enemy, little loli, was in the main city.

A "following like a shadow" went over and found that little Lolita was standing on the highest attic in Chang'an City, surrounded by envious crowds.

Little Lolita can go up because she has an extra phoenix mount.

Legend has it that there are only three colorful phoenix mounts in the whole server. They are purely drawn by luck, and the explosion rate is so low that you can't see it... Regardless of the strange NPC plot with blind eyes during the day, you are too lucky, this fake loli!

No, it's definitely not luck!This is a PY transaction hooked up with the leader of the Demon Cult!

Poor leader, you have been deceived!Behind the cute little loli is actually a rough guy with a subwoofer!

The master silently drew his sword.

He also has a bird, although it is not a phoenix, but it can barely go up the tower!

It's better to just chop up the loli and grab the phoenix!

Then, he was knocked off the tower with a sudden blow.

Onlookers: Damn it, it's the god's transparent vest!God protects Lori, this melon is so delicious!

It is really a big melon.Because yesterday, Little Lolita had a drink with the leader of the Demon Cult and looked at the moon in full view, discussing from poetry to philosophy of life.Today, on this city tower, it is actually protected by the transparent vest of the No. [-] god in the whole server——

It's not that the ID is called a transparent vest, but that this man's ID has always been blank.

But because "Prosperity" does not recognize the space bar when registering an account, there are different opinions on how he registered.It is often said that this must be the internal GM, and there are even rumors that it is Li Weidu's trumpet.

Of course, most of the mainstream posts in the forum now are: Oh my god, I'm convinced.Date with the leader of the Demon Cult at night, escorted by the top expert in the world during the day, the little loli with a cute bunny on her back, the real version of the god-level Mary Su?

During that time, everyone was watching Little Lolita.

In fact, little loli doesn't go online much, and there are no rules.Occasionally, a bunch of people poked and poked behind her, watching her dig grass, resell at the trading house, buy seeds, plant grass, wait for the grass to grow tall, then dig and resell... Finally, I got money and went to buy Good looking.

Crowd: "..."

Really a very Buddhist player, the legendary passerby heroine?

Then, in a very routine and legendary way—the passer-by heroine was spotted by the demon cult leader and the number one swordsman at the same time? !

The master thought to himself: Is there so many benefits for the female account?

Otherwise, I will also choose a female number.

Resolutely asked the girl to borrow a female number, fair skin, beautiful and long legs, and went directly to hook up with the leader of the Demon Cult.

Leader: "My Blood Palace will last forever, and I will rule the rivers and lakes!"

Leader: "I think when I was young, I had a different dream..."

The leader: "The moon is bright and the stars are thin, and the black magpie flies south..."

It's completely an NPC's recurring lines, hey, just ignore him at all, what's wrong!

I also specially selected the most sexy and enchanting modeling and the most gorgeous appearance, this hot figure and red clothes with big breasts, no matter how much better than a flat-chested and backed bunny loli...

"What a broken game, I won't play it anymore!"

Wait, I'm a straight man of steel, what the hell is an "old lady"? !

……

"Take off!"

In the end, the master couldn't take it anymore, and stood in front of little Lolita with the attitude of a fiery big sister in red.

"When we met for the first time, you said that my magic costume bullied your basic milk costume."

"Okay, let's go 1v1 today without any weapons. No one is allowed to bring a leader or a transparent vest. I have to let you, a dead shemale, know that I'm better than you even if I'm naked!"

Little Lolita: "Oh."

Li Weidu drank water and passed behind Ji Kai.

"Instead of me?"

Pale fingers moved quickly on the keyboard, and the eldest sister was beaten to death.

This game is really unplayable...

Kneel down on the spot.

"God of the shemale, you can play with my younger brother in the future!"

Ji Kai: "..."

***

DAY8 Mr. Li's daily life

Mr. Li's daily life a few years ago: he sat in the spacious office early in the morning, took out his mobile phone, and there were only a few new messages, all of which were from customers.

I don't want to care, press the screen off, throw the phone aside, and type the code seriously for two hours.Then, gloomyly, he went out to patrol around, to see which unlucky guy was chatting and shopping during working hours again.

Mr. Li's daily routine after being loved by someone: When he came to the office early in the morning, he looked at his phone first, and knocked out a cute meme with a blank face. After receiving the reply, he started to go to work full of energy.

After writing the BUG for two hours, I rested my chin and thought about what to make delicious when I went home at night, and I didn't have time to go out to inspect.

The secretary in the middle brought in a cup of hot coffee. After closing the door, he took out the black bear marshmallows he secretly bought from the drawer.Tear it open, put it in, and the three-dimensional bear floats on the steaming coffee.Happy.

After a while, I clicked the mouse again and put a few cookbooks into the shopping cart.Recently, Ji Kai's sweet and sour fish has really tasted better than him, so he needs to improve his cooking skills.

"Mr. Li," the secretary called through the intercom, "your courier has arrived."

It's hedgehog food bought for Guo Maomao.Mr. Li makes no sound when he walks daily, squinting his eyes, just in time to see a fishing employee outside secretly extending his evil hand to an unrelated website.

"You, come to my office later."

Employee: QAQ! ! !

But at this moment, President Li's cell phone rang.

Bingshanlian picked up the phone and started to melt silently. "Hello? Well... I came to work after eating breakfast! Oh, you will make it tomorrow, do you want me to order? I want to eat your baked carrot omelette. Well, I want something sweet. What do you want to eat tonight? What to control? Don’t control, I like fatter ones, fatter ones are easy to touch! I’ll pick you up at night, eh!

Putting down the phone, he turned his head and frowned at Moyu's staff: "What are you doing standing here?"

Staff:"……"

President Li: "Well, tell Vice President Chen for me, I have to leave early today after get off work. What are you still doing standing there? Go to work?"

Fishing employees: No need to go to the office for training?

Good Falun Dafa, Mrs. President!

***

DAY9 did not bring the key

Mr. Li, who didn't bring the key, was sitting in the yard with the lush little flowers and grasses, waiting for the baby bear to come to rescue him.

Autumn is here, the sunflowers are gone, and the seeds can basically be harvested.

He remembered that a few years ago, for some reason, the sunflowers and sunflowers in the yard were all wilted, and the seeds were not growing well.But I didn't feel very sad, after all, in the autumn of that year, Ji Kai lived in his house.

In the second year, without fertilizing or loosening the soil or anything, the flowers in the yard bloomed brilliantly again.

I didn't think so before.But since I had Ji Kai, the flowers bloomed well because he was there;

Qi Yang said that day, brother Kai likes to eat meat, Weidu you like to eat fish.Brother Kai is more straightforward, but you are the exact opposite. "

"You two seem to have nothing in common."

Li Weidu was unhappy on the spot, what does it mean to have nothing in common?

They all like art, they all like to stay at home when they have nothing to do, and they all watch Socrates and Kant. Isn’t that enough?The most important common interest is that he thinks Ji Kai is very handsome, and Ji Kai also... often looks handsome in the mirror.

This is the biggest commonality!

Speaking of which...Ji Kai is really handsome.

I can never get tired of watching him fall asleep.Yingting's brows stretched, like a child without any worries.

Suddenly blushing, thinking of a day when he was silently happy staring at someone's sleeping face, Ji Kai turned over, eyes closed, whispered something, and suddenly stretched out his hand to grab him to his chest.

Legend, the legendary buried chest...

It was like being trapped in a warm beach scorched by the sun, obviously half-suffocated, but finally gave up struggling and made a mistake to the end, and rubbed it shamelessly.

……

So sexy while asleep, more like a wild animal when awake.

Sometimes under the dim light, he will deliberately seduce him.The fragrance of body wash, and the smell of male hormones, slightly rough fingers, wet drops of water slide down.

Sometimes it's not even a deliberate seduction, just taking off the suit and frowning to untie the tie is enough to make people's spirits skyrocket instantly.

And sometimes, it has nothing to do with Fengyue, but just wants to kiss and hug him anytime and anywhere.

"Speaking of which, can bears like fish?"

On that day, Li Weidu had a whim, and after careful calculation, the bear and the fish... are actually the relationship between natural enemies, right?

Ji Kai is now used to the weirdness in his daily mind: "I won't eat your fugu again."

Li Weidu went to investigate carefully.

Bears do not eat fugu.

Because puffer fish are poisonous.

……poisonous.

Hahaha.

The whole person just sat at the door of the house in such a trance, with a bunch of random thoughts in his mind.Time passed very slowly, but it also seemed to pass quickly.Really... being with the person you like, any memory has too many little sweets to enumerate.

A familiar car drove over.

Stopped at the side of the road, with long legs, got out of the car and brought out large and small bags of vegetables bought in the supermarket.The sun at dusk hit Ji Kai's body with the deepest sense of light.

Sure enough, everything slowed down again, Li Weidu looked at him in rapt attention, and time tended to stop.

Then stood up and smiled.

Take a whole bag of heavy vegetables.

Ordinary life is nice.I bought a lot of celery and tomatoes, and the colors look great together.

***

DAY10 tooth extraction

This place in Switzerland, the local Chinese have a very pertinent evaluation of it - "good mountains, good water, so lonely".

Wherever you go, there are not as many people as there are sheep.

There is a small town next to the studio, not to mention the night market and the like. At four o'clock in the afternoon, all the shops on the street are closed and swept away, as if they have been invaded by some zombies.

The two lived here for half a year, and saw the blue sky, white clouds, green grass, and the Alps every day. After traveling for a few laps, there was nothing to do, so they decided to re-study the four classics together in their spare time.

When I watched "Water Margin" before, what I saw was brotherly loyalty and doing justice for the sky.

This time the idea is a little more profound, mainly to study the literary value behind this work as the four great masterpieces.

As a result, there is no necessary literary value out of the research.

On the contrary, Mr. Li enjoyed watching the physical description of Wu Song fighting a tiger, and took a sneak peek at the people around him. He couldn’t describe it after turning off the lights; , and then cannot be described again.

Ji Kai: "..."

So in your eyes, Lao Tzu is the body of a hero fighting a tiger?

Still want to play all the poses written in the book?People are serious about fighting tigers, okay?What do you want to do?Are you reincarnated from the resentment of the tiger that was killed?

You said that you are a man with fair skin, beautiful long legs, and a clear and cold look, with such a strong taste, why are you so perverted sometimes?

……

Ji Kai commented on himself—although his normal character is not bad, but sometimes, it is indeed easier to gloat.

On the other hand, Li Weidu of his family is very kind, and rarely gloats at other people's suffering.In particular, he will not feel happy because he is unlucky.

There are always exceptions in life.

A high-end private dental hospital in Switzerland.Ji Kai slumped on the chair and was extremely tired, while Li Weidu suffocated a smile beside him.

laugh!Still laughing!I'm biting cotton and almost crying, are you still laughing? !

There is no more love.I must play Wu Song and Tiger every day, I am tired of playing and have no love.

……

In fact, when Ji Kai first had a toothache, Li Weidu was quite nervous.Anxiously driving to the hospital, the doctor looked at it for a while: "Well, wisdom teeth."

Li Weidu: "What?"

Doctor: "I have wisdom teeth, they are crooked, and I have to pull them out."

Li Weidu: "Oh."

Ji Kai: "?!?!"

Li Weidu: "How can a normal person start to grow wisdom teeth in their 30s?"

Ji Kai: Who said you can't grow wisdom teeth if you are over 30!Is my development too late?

Hospital.It was Ji Kai who was holding his teeth, and forced Xixi to wait there for Li Weidu to negotiate pre-operative matters with the doctor for him.

As a result, after waiting for a long time, the person still hadn't come back, so he could only drag his heavy body and cover half of his face to look for it.

When he found it, Li Weidu tugged him: "You came just in time, hurry up, I forgot how to say Menghan medicine in English, this doctor speaks German, and his English is half-baked, I really can't understand him. "

... Mongolia sweat medicine.

"Yeah, Mongolian sweat medicine," Li Weidu didn't notice anything wrong at all, and urged "tell me quickly" on his face, and finally realized after a while, "Anesthetic medicine, I mean anesthetic medicine!"

Ji Kai covered his cheeks with grief and indignation in his eyes.

Immediately afterwards, there was another round of complicated communication between English, French, and German. It was easy to communicate with the doctor, and Li Weidu patted Ji Kai with peace of mind.

"Don't be afraid, it's a minor operation. It's been confirmed. The Mongolian sweat medicine here is very safe and won't have any side effects."

If it wasn't for the toothache, Ji Kai would have to lift the table.

Let him know what it means if a deep mountain bear does not show off his power, you will treat me as Hello KTV.

You are the tiger hero!You have to use Mongolia sweat medicine!

……

Later, Mr. Li promised in person that he would quit "Water Margin" and never mention sweat medicine again, and sent an audio to Ji Kai's mobile phone that night, singing "Two Tigers", which is very characteristic of Li Weidu and has super tone-deafness. ".

It is said that it was specially recorded as an apology for this matter. Half of Ji Kai's face is still swollen. He was already a little migraine from being brought on, but it hurt even more after listening to it.

It's just a sonic weapon.Don't sing, don't sing, don't sing, can't you accept your apology!

Two days later, the swelling of the cheeks finally subsided, and the sequelae were temporary numbness of the cheeks and a stiff smile.

Early in the morning, when Ji Kai's signature vest was showing his muscles, frowning and poking his face in the mirror, Li Weidu was beside him preparing to brush his teeth with a concerned expression on his face.

"This Swiss Mongolian sweat medicine is so powerful, it's been a few days and it hasn't passed?"

Ji Kai: "..."

Mr. Li felt that his face was not right, so he silently turned on the phone and clicked on the accompaniment of two tigers.

Ji Kai: Don't sing, don't sing!Tiger Fighting Hero forgives you!