look at you bend you

In the study room, Nan Zhenyu sat in a leather swivel chair, and Nanfang stood by the window not far away, looking at the bare trees outside the window.

"I haven't been back for so many years, and when I come back, I still have this kind of tone of asking questions?" Nan Zhenyu's dissatisfaction was obvious in his tone.

"Xingshi asked the crime? So you have always understood my son's right to know in this way," Nanfang smiled, turned around and sat down opposite Nan Zhenyu, "I didn't think about blaming anyone, I Is it too much to just think I have a right to know about my mother? Why won't you tell me?"

"..." Nan Zhenyu sighed, lit a cigarette and took two puffs, "Xiao Nan~ There are some things you can't bear, do you really want to know? No matter what the answer is?"

"Yes, you tell me to listen!"

"You really look like your mother, both in appearance and personality, just as stubborn and cruel ~ Don't you think that it will hurt me if I uncover this scar again?" Nan Zhenyu leaned on Sitting on the back of the chair, I closed my eyes.

"..." Nanfang was stunned for a moment, seeing a trace of confusion flashing in his old father's eyes. He had never thought about this question or avoided it on purpose. He has been walking a one-way route all these years, and he has even given a long time ago in his heart. He answered by himself, so he couldn't forgive the person in front of him, and he felt sorry for the life that ended hastily.

"Hey~ That's all, since you said you have the right to know, then I'll tell you..." Nan Zhenyu stood up, went to the bookcase, opened the safe inside, took out a file bag from it and handed it to Nanfang, "Let's take a look at this Bar?"

Nan Nan took the file bag, suddenly a little scared, he hesitated to answer the questions that have been entangled for so many years, it feels like the fruit you have been longing for in the desert is hanging in the air within reach, one step forward you There is a glimmer of hope to live, but the quicksand under your feet will swallow you up if you are not careful...

Nanfang untied the string round and round, pulled out the paper inside, and the bold and square bold characters at the beginning came into view, making the eyes sore and unbearable.

"Mental Fortitude Report"

Authenticated person: Fang Ya'an

The paper in Nanfang's hand kept shaking until he couldn't see what the rest of the words were written on. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists. When he spoke again, Nanfang couldn't hear his own voice, "What is this?"

"Do you still want to know?" Nan Zhenyu asked, with a trace of helplessness in his voice.

"May I ask you what this is?" Nanfang gritted his teeth and asked.

"Your mother...was in a bad state of mind during that time. I took her to see a doctor. This was the conclusion given by the doctor at that time... severe depression!" Nan Zhenyu walked to the bed and stood.

"Depression? What's the reason?" Nan Nan asked. He didn't know his mother had depression. How could this be possible?

"The reason why your mother married me was not because she loved me, but because he wanted to forget the person he couldn't ask for in his heart," Nan Zhenyu smiled wryly, his voice a little hoarse, "I saw her for the first time in a At my friend's house, she sat quietly on the sofa, with a decent smile on her face all the time, but I saw sadness in her eyes. I fell in love with your mother at first sight, but the person in her heart was never me , I chased her for a year and she never agreed, but suddenly one day she told me that she would marry me, do you know how I felt at that time? I felt that I was the happiest man in the world, although I knew she was not Love me, but she is willing to accept that I am willing to stay with me and that is enough."

"After we got married, I brought your mother back here to take over your grandfather's business. After we had you, I felt that life was complete. It can be said that I died without regrets." Nan Zhenyu looked at the south, "But I underestimated her feelings for that person, and I overestimated myself... After having you, she often hugged you to meet that person. The first time we had a quarrel, Nan Fei... was at that time Yes, the life that made me feel that I would die without regret suddenly changed beyond recognition. I was suppressing, and your mother was also suppressing. The days went on in such a suppressed way. I thought about letting your mother go, but I couldn't bear it. How can I give up this kind of love that goes deep into the marrow? It was too late when she felt that something was wrong with her. It will be so painful..."

Nanfang recalled all the things before his mother's accident. He often lost his temper with him and his father. He had a strong desire to control. He was not allowed to do this or that, and was often alone in a daze...

"Your mother never loved me. Her love was given to others. I hated and complained, and even cut off contact with that friend, but what's the use of that? It's just deception..."

"Then...what am I?" Nanfang twitched the corners of his mouth, his face pale, "Her love has been given to others, so what am I?"

"Xiao Nan, you shouldn't doubt your mother's love for you... He never loved me, but I always believe that you are irreplaceable in her heart."

"Really? So why did she take me to meet other men?"

"Xiao Nan..."

"So why did she drive herself crazy and abandon me? What about you? Why do you deny everything about me and deny the meaning of my existence? Why do you have someone else after you keep saying you loved my mother all your life? Heh~ yours Love is really superficial..."

"South..." Nan Zhenyu interrupted him, "You shouldn't say that about your mother..."

"I know," Nanfang stood up while supporting the chair, "It turns out that I should hate myself the most all these years. Now that I think about it, I really failed. Obviously everything has traces to follow, but I just ignored it. Depression Syndrome? I didn't even notice..."

"You were still a child at the time..." Nan Zhenyu patted him on the shoulder, "I didn't tell you back then because I was afraid that you wouldn't be able to accept it, and that you would blame yourself... As for Xiaofei's mother..."

"Stop talking, I understand!" A man's fiery feelings cannot be responded to, and the inner torment can be imagined, but... "But I'm sorry, I still can't accept it, I know it can't be all your fault People, but you should not provoke other women when you have a family, even if you have a child, you betrayed your family, and let another woman bear the third party's infamy, and even made Nanfei lose A childhood that should have been complete!"

"Oh~ I knew..." Nan Zhenyu sat back on the chair, "Xiao Nan, you have been like this since you were a child. You have a clear love and hate. This is why I don't want you to know, although it also makes you hate me. After so many years, it's better than being disappointed in me now..."

"..." Nanfang smiled, "Hate...not so much, just can't figure it out, disappointment...it's true! Can I ask you another question?"

Nan Zhenyu nodded.

"You...for so many years...you don't want to see me, is it because of my face?" The face so similar to his mother made his father feel timid?

Nan Zhenyu looked at him without speaking.

Nanfang sighed, "Understood... You shouldn't have kept these things from me," walked to the door and turned his back to Nan Zhenyu, "Take care, quit smoking! I'll see you another day...Dad! "

The last word Nanfang was called very lightly. He didn’t know if Nan Zhenyu heard it. He said that letting it go was not complete. He admitted that he was too hypocritical and had an emotional cleanliness since he was a child. Intellectually, he should understand what his father did. , I even feel that this man is very pitiful for not being able to get the one he loves all his life. It is never my mother who gets what he asks for, so why not his father?

But from the beginning, he knew that the person he loved had someone else in his heart, but he still gambled on the marriage. If he lost the bet, he would seek comfort from others. He couldn't accept such impure feelings. Dad, but he can't achieve the relief he thinks, he suffers himself and others, isn't this a torture for himself and others?

Nanfang always believes that there are no gray areas in relationships, love is love, not love is not love, there is no so-called separation of spirit and body, just like the day he found out that he likes Li Yan, he has been desperately longing for it both psychologically and physically Li Yan, that's the desire produced because of liking, he can't accept the kind of relationship that purely goes to bed to solve his physical needs, and he doesn't want to force himself to live with someone he doesn't love, he has always been his emotional criterion.He knows that he is too extreme, but this is the south, and this is the kind of people in the south...

When he came out of the house, Nan Fei chased him out. If this younger brother was a little bit worse, Nan Nan would never get in touch with him, but the direction of the plot is not like this!

"Are you going back now?" Nan Fei asked.

"Yeah!" To go back, he wants to fly to Li Yan now. He has never been so eager. It turns out that the love between two people is rare, and he doesn't want to boil frogs. He wants to be real. I don't want to waste another minute and a second because of my real feelings.

"Dad..." Nan Fei glanced at the window on the second floor.

"Go up and see him, I will come back often in the future!" Nan Nan smiled, he couldn't tell who was right and who was wrong in this emotional entanglement, and it had long been a mess.

How much does dad love mom?Love so much that it hurts to see his face?So what can he do now?All he can do is to step back outside the boundary that makes everyone feel at ease.

……

In the conference room, Li Yan looked at the design on the slide, listened to the designer's design concept, and tapped his fingers rhythmically on the table.

After the plan was approved, Li Yan heaved a sigh of relief, leaned into the chair and pinched the bridge of his nose, the phone on the table rang, it was Nan...

"Hello!" Li Yan picked up the phone and waved to everyone.

"In the company?" Nanfang asked.

"Well, just finished the meeting." Li Yan pulled the tie around his neck, "How about you? Did it go well?"

"Is my face handsome?" Nan Nan asked

"Ok?"

"What's wrong with being too handsome?" Nan Nan said with a smile.

"Where are you?" Unwelcoming?Does that mean you were wronged?

"Brother, you said..." Nanfang paused there, "Is my face too annoying..."

The author has something to say:

Did not catch insects, cried...