did i call your name

Gao Yi lay on Chou Sinian's chest, listening to the violent beating of his heart, his own heart also thumped.

"I, I'm afraid you won't be able to sleep well at night, so, I'll come over and have a look." Gao Yi stammered and replied, the base of his ear was burning badly.

He didn't know what a terrible nightmare Qiu Sinian had. He felt that the clothes on his chest were soaked with sweat, and the smell that belonged to Teacher Qiu that made Gao Yi addicted was mixed with a little sweat at this moment. .

"Have you counted my stability?" Qiu Sinian's voice was still hoarse, "My bed is not enough, and I need to check my medicine?"

Gao Yi felt embarrassed, he hesitated and said nothing.He co-authored himself to sneak to Qiu Sinian's room every day to count the medicines, and he knew everything about it.

Teacher Qiu knew everything and pretended not to know anything.

It's true that it's charming, and it's true that it's bad.

After a long time, Gao Yi said in a low voice: "You eat too much, you have overdone..."

Qiu Sinian's heartbeat gradually calmed down, but his breathing was still heavy. Gao Yi raised his head slightly and found that Qiu Sinian was looking down at him.

"Then you ran over?" Qiu Sinian touched Gao Yi's face with the back of his hand, it was cold, "Isn't it cold to sleep on the floor?"

Gao Yi's cold face suddenly became hot, "It's, it's okay."

Qiu Sinian was still hugging Gao Yi tightly, maintaining the posture of lowering his waist, Gao Yi was struggling a bit, but he couldn't bear Qiu Sinian's embrace, so he lay on Qiu Sinian's chest and asked, "Are you feeling better now? "

"No." Chou Sinian lifted the quilt as he spoke, and grabbed Gao Yi's arm to directly fish him into the quilt.

When Gao Yi came to his senses, he was already wrapped in warm breath. This time, he didn't crawl onto Qiu Sinian's bed, but directly crawled into Qiu Sinian's bed.Gao Yi grabbed the hem of Qiu Sinian's pajamas, blinked his eyes quickly, thinking he was dreaming.

"Is it warm?" Qiu Sinian's voice rang in his ears.

"Mm, mm." Gao nodded, "Warm."

"Sleep with me for a while, okay?" Qiu Sinian asked him.It has dragged people into the quilt, and it seems hypocritical to ask such a question again, but he has always known that he is hypocritical.

"...Okay, of course." Gao Yi put his hand on Qiu Sinian's heart, "I sometimes have heart palpitations when I sleep, it's better to press my hand here."

Gao Yi's hands were a little cold. In the dark, he boldly moved forward, put his face on the back of his hands, and felt the temperature of Qiu Sinian's heart through his hands.

"Does it stink?" Qiu Sinian lowered his head and asked Gao Yi, he could already smell the sweat on his body.

Gao Yi shook his head, lowered his head, and rubbed the tip of his nose against Qiu Sinian's pajamas, "It smells good."

Why did he feel that he was just dreaming?

"Teacher..." Gao Yi was in a trance, his consciousness wandering outside of reality, "You smell so good..."

It was originally to help Teacher Qiu relieve his insomnia, but Gao Yi stuck it on Qiu Sinian's chest, dazed and dazed, but he lost consciousness first.

With more people beside him, it was warmer, the smell of Gao Yi was reassuring, Qiu Sinian closed his eyes, and had a dreamless night after a long absence.

The next morning, Qiu Sinian got up very early. He had to invigilate the last exam this morning.Gao Yi was fast asleep, he gently lifted the quilt and got out of bed.

In the second half of the night, he slept heavily, and Qiu Sinian was afraid that he would do something rascally like touching his thighs and kissing his neck in his sleep. Fortunately, he wore a full set of pajamas last night in his freshman year of high school.

Qiu Sinian helped Gao Yi cover the quilt, washed up and had breakfast before going to school.

Cao Bin finished his last class today, and was finally liberated. He went to eat barbecue with his roommates, and was admitted to the first year of high school.The first year of high school didn't want to join in the excitement, but he wanted to ask Cao Bin about something, so he went.

A few boys stood up and clinked glasses, and the meat was "sizzling" on the oven.

"Finally the fucking exam is over." Cao Bin raised his head and drank a big sip of iced Coke, "I'm almost bald from reviewing these days, I really admire those teachers, and they didn't get one of the important points in the exam. He told us everything he learned, but he gave me a fucking test, what kind of jerk stuff was the test..."

A table of people drank drinks and quacked happily.

Gao Yi didn't talk much, and kept his head silent. Cao Bin chatted with his roommate for a long time, and finally took a break when he opened his mouth. Gao Yi found a chance to talk to him.

"Ask you something." Gao Yi leaned into his ear.

"What's the matter?" Cao Bin's voice was clear, he had only drank a few cups of Coke, and he was as if he was too drunk, "What's the problem with Mr. Gao? Brother, I promise to give you a perfect answer."

"Did you drink Coke?" Gao Yi glanced at him sideways, hesitated for a moment, and asked, "Tang Wen...have you heard of this name?"

"Tang Wen? Who is it?" Cao Bin raised his head and thought, "Hiss...why does this name sound so familiar?"

The roommate next to them heard them talking, and came over and said, "Don't you know Tang Wen?"

"Who is it?" Cao Bin looked at him, "Do you know him?"

"Damn, that incident last year caused a lot of trouble, and it was all in the newspapers, and you didn't know?" The roommate was shocked, "Just the senior in our department, Tang Wen, don't you remember?"

Cao Bin lowered his head and recalled for a few seconds, "Oh... I remembered, why did it sound so familiar to me?"

"Are you talking about that Tang Wen from our school?" the roommate asked the freshman.

Senior One hesitated: "It should be."

"Hey, how do you know him?" Cao Bin didn't know much about Tang Wen, and he didn't know that Tang Wen and Qiu Sinian were inextricably linked.

"I heard." Gao Yi looked at Cao Bin's roommate, "He... is also Teacher Qiu's student?"

The roommate froze for a moment, nodded and said, "Ah yes, from the last class."

"What's wrong with him?" In fact, Gao Yi wanted to ask him about his relationship with Qiu Sinian, but he couldn't find an excuse to cover it up.

"Jumped off the building and committed suicide." When the roommate said these five words, the voice was very soft, and Gao Yi was stunned when he heard it.

"What, what?" Gao Yi said incredulously, "Suicide?"

"Yeah, it happened last year." The roommate lowered his voice, "It seems to be because of depression. When he died, Teacher Qiu was there and watched him jump from upstairs."

Gao Yi was even more astonished.

"Fuck, why didn't I know about this?" Cao Bin was also taken aback.

"I didn't know you." The roommate gave him a blank look, "Anyway, this matter was very big last winter. I heard from the senior of the previous class that Mr. Qiu seemed to have been taken to the police station at that time, and he was the only one at the scene. people."

Cao Bin said angrily, "Damn, are you treating him as a suspect?"

"Yeah, but later the surveillance was called out. The boy jumped off by himself. Teacher Qiu wanted to save him, but he didn't have time."

Gao Yi listened silently, his hands holding the chopsticks trembled slightly.

The roommate continued: "That boy seems to have another boyfriend, the one who often comes to see Mr. Qiu, who seems to be called Chen Ze, right? Some people said that Tang Wen would commit suicide before, it seems that it is because Chen Ze is dating someone... oh yes Oh, and some people say that Tang Wen is having an affair with Mr. Qiu, isn't he gay? People often see him enter Qiu Sinian's office and stay there for hours..."

"What kind of mess are you talking about?" Cao Bin interrupted him with disgust on his face, "How the hell did you hear that?"

"I don't know, I just heard what others said." The roommate sighed and said regretfully, "It's still quite pitiful. I remember that senior seemed to have very good grades, so he died just like that, hey..."

"Stop spreading rumors like this." Some other roommates couldn't listen anymore, "Why have legs? They are doing psychological counseling. I went to the office to hand in my homework before, and I ran into Teacher Qiu talking to that boy. Chatting. That boy seems to be in a bad state of mind, but it's really strange. I usually meet him when I go to the hospital office. I really don't see anything wrong with him. He looks very cheerful. .”

"I remember that time, the school post bar and forums were full of all kinds of information about Teacher Qiu and that boy, and there were silly things saying that Teacher Qiu forced that boy to death." The roommate clicked, "Now people Ah, there is no cost to spreading rumors, I have seen the surveillance footage, when the boy jumped off, Teacher Qiu was completely stunned, and he disappeared as soon as he arrived."

The atmosphere at the dinner table suddenly became heavy, Gao Yi was silent the whole time, holding his chopsticks tightly.

The gossip tm news that Cao Bin's roommate relayed was different from the real situation, but it was not far from it, except that the truth was a little plainer and crueler than those catch-up rumors.

Tang Wen suffered from depression since he was in high school. It was probably caused by his two strict parents. Tang Wen talked with Qiu Sinian and talked about his parents more often. When he occasionally talked about Chen Ze, his face There will be a slight smile on the face.

Tang Wen's parents are strict with him, so strict that he can't breathe.He is also strict with himself, because he wants to have a visible future with Chen Ze.Chen Ze and Tang Wen have been together since high school, but they never knew he had depression.

So much so that under the obstruction and pressure of Tang Wen's parents, Chen Ze, who had been bored for a long time, half-jokingly said that sentence to Tang Wen: "Tang Wen, I can't hold on anymore."

We have cherished each other for more than three years, laughed, cried, and quarreled. The period of passionate love is beautiful but short. In the rest of the ordinary time together, there will always be a moment when you want to give up, even if it is only for a second.

What's more, Chen Ze was not from Tang Wen's world.

Probably the string in his heart was finally snapped, but Qiu Sinian was more willing to believe that there were other reasons.

The reason for the suicide was much more prosaic than the outside rumors, but also more brutal.Who would believe it, because of this, he committed suicide by jumping off the building.

Qiu Sinian has never suffered from depression, no matter how much he talks with Tang Wen, it is impossible to understand his feelings. Suicide may be just a momentary thought.Tired, bored, just want to end, there is no reason.

The reason why Qiu Sinian couldn't get out of the shadow of Tang Wen's suicide was because Tang Wen himself was his shadow.When Tang Wen sat in front of him, he felt that he was the psychiatrist back then, and Tang Wen was himself.

If that day, the day when Tang Wen asked him to meet on the rooftop, he would have rushed there earlier, the result would not be what it is now.

Alive, after all, there is hope.

Holding a bouquet of white chrysanthemums in his hand, Qiu Sinian walked to Tang Wen's tombstone.

On the black and white photo engraved into the tombstone, the boy smiled lightly.Qiu Sinian bent down and leaned the flower against the tombstone. He quietly looked at the boy in the photo.

"I thought he could get out." Qiu Sinian's tone was calm, without any emotion, "He said he couldn't get out...Why can't I save anything?"

Qiu Sinian squatted down and brushed a leaf off the tombstone with his hand, "It would have been better if you hadn't come to look for me."

In the evening, Cao Bin moved the things in the dormitory back home, and took Gao Yi to his house for dinner.

"You haven't been to my house for a long time. My mother made you something you like to eat." Cao Bin changed his shoes, "Go in and show her the old man."

"What old man?" Mother Cao came over and knocked on Cao Bin's forehead with her chopsticks, turned her head and saw Gao Yi smiled so hard that she couldn't see her eyes, "Xiao Gao seems to have grown taller again, the longer he grows, the more handsome he is."

The first year of high school is the kind of appearance that is very pleasing to adults, and his obedient appearance is very popular in front of any elders. Cao Bin's mother also likes him very much.

"Hello, Auntie." Gao Yi called out obediently, and handed her the shawl bought at the mall.

"Thank you." Mother Cao took the shawl with a smile, "Hey, if only you were my son."

"How about I recognize him as a younger brother?" Cao Bin snorted aside.

Cao's mother gave him a sideways look, "No, just make room for my son and give him the place."

Cao Bin laughed: "Inhumanity. Food and food, I'm starving to death."

"What's the hurry? Your dad hasn't come back yet, and you have to wait for one more person."

"Who?" Cao Bin squeezed the meat and stuffed it into his mouth, "Who else are you calling? Hey, I told you that you can order whatever you want. Why are you still calling someone? I don't know that our little milk cake is thin-skinned. Can't see a stranger?"

Cao's mother held up her chopsticks to beat him, but Cao Bin dodged for a while, laughing mischievously.

This scene was so commonplace that Gao Yi smiled helplessly.

At dinner time, four people sat down at the dining table, and the last one finally came in a hurry.

Hearing the doorbell, Mother Cao got up and said with a smile, "It's finally here."

"Sister." Qiu Sinian's voice came from behind, Gao Yi was startled, and turned around abruptly.

Seeing the first year of high school, Qiu Sinian was also a little surprised.

"Damn, so you said there is another person, my brother-in-law?" Cao Bin was startled, "Why didn't you say it earlier, Mom."

Cao Bin glanced at Gao Yi as he spoke.

"Mom, you big-headed ghost." Mother Cao stared at him, "If I had told you in advance, would you still be able to eat this dinner at home?"

"It's definitely possible, it's very capable." Cao Bin moved out the chair next to Gaoyi graciously, "Sit down, brother-in-law."

"What's the matter with you kid?" Cao's father looked at him, "It's so empty next to you, why move the chair next to you? Are you going to squeeze them to death?"

"Not crowded." Gao said in a small voice, and quickly raised his eyes to look at Qiu Sinian.

Qiu Sinian smiled lightly.

Cao's mother called Qiu Sinian over mainly to thank Cao Bin for taking care of him this semester, and Qiu Sinian did not expect to meet her freshman year here.

It seems that the relationship between him and Cao Bin is really good. When Cao Bin's parents chatted with him, he was not so restrained and let it go.

It's just that he didn't talk much, especially with Qiu Sinian, who met his eyes countless times, but didn't say a few words.

Moreover, Qiu Sinian found that the child seemed a little unhappy today, with a worried face, and felt that the smiles at Cao Bin's parents were all forced out.

After dinner, Qiu Sinian took the child into the corridor for questioning while Cao Bin's parents were busy in the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Qiu Sinian looked down at him, "Unhappy?"

The first year of high school was suddenly pulled out by Qiu Sinian alone, a little embarrassed: "Huh? No, no."

"Tell the truth." Qiu Sinian said calmly, "Did something happen?"

It's not that he made a big fuss, the main reason is that he has never seen a child with such a preoccupied look, looking worried.

Gao Yi lowered his head and muttered, "Tang Wen..."

Qiu Sinian was taken aback.

"That matter has nothing to do with you, it's his choice... Don't keep thinking about him, it will be very uncomfortable..." Gao Yi bit his lip, not knowing how to organize his words, he was unhappy because he felt distressed, never When eating barbecue today, he heard the things Cao Bin's roommate said, and he kept worrying.The news was mixed, and the first year of high school didn't know that Qiu Sinian had suffered far more than that, so he was so distressed that he couldn't speak.

Did Qiu Sinian rely on sleeping pills from the day Tang Wen fell from the building?

When Qiu Sinian grabbed his hand and called Tang Wen last night, what happened in his dream?

Are these scenes repeated in Qiu Si Nian's dream every day?

More and more doubts piled up, in addition to distressed or distressed.

Gao Yi lowered his eyes, his voice was already choked up: "I don't want you to be unhappy, I don't even know that you have encountered such a thing before..."

Gao Yi's eyelashes were steamed, and a tear fell with a patter.

Qiu Sinian suddenly lowered his head, turned his face and kissed his lips.

Gao Yi froze and froze.

Qiu Sinian held his head again and kissed his eyelashes.Gao subconsciously closed his eyes, his eyelashes were covered with moisture, trembling violently.

Chou Sinian's lips left his eyes, and asked softly, "Be my boyfriend, okay?"

The brain of the first year of high school has been short-circuited, and he responded almost without thinking: "Okay."

He didn't even realize what Qiu Sinian was asking.

Qiu Sinian knew that he must not be able to react in time, so he stroked his ear with his thumb, and said slowly: "If you want to be with me, it will be for a lifetime. It's mine, it's mine forever, so you still want to be my boyfriend and stay with me?"

Qiu Sinian said these words very slowly, one word at a time, he hoped that the freshman in high school heard it clearly and took it into his heart, so that he would never have the chance to regret it in the future, and even if he regretted it, he would never have the chance to regret it again.

He won't let this happen.

Gao Yi looked up at Chou Sinian, with a dull expression as if his soul had gone out of his body, and tears were still hanging from the corners of his eyes. After a long time, he nodded: "Yes."

He lowered his head, licked his dry lower lip, and whispered, "It's always been yours."

Qiu Sinian's heart skipped a beat, he raised Gao Yi's chin and kissed his lips again.

Gao Yi had never kissed anyone before, and he pursed his lips dryly, his teeth were chattering so nervously, just when Qiu Sinian poked out the tip of his tongue and was about to deepen the kiss, he heard an unpleasant voice: "Wow! groove!"

Here comes the five-kilowatt light bulb.

Qiu Sinian left Gao Yi's lips, and reflexively put his arms around Gao Yi's shoulder to block him behind him.He turned his head and looked dissatisfiedly at Cao Bin not far away.

The author has something to say: Congratulations to the abstinent old hooligan for finally conquering the city!This milk cake can be regarded as licking~

I didn’t update yesterday, I’m sorry to the baby who is waiting for the update (╯﹏╰) Sometimes the three-dimensional element is busy, and when I don’t have time to update, I will ask for leave in the copywriting~

Seeing that some readers are so cautious in urging updates, hahaha I like the feeling of being urged, so feel free to urge them boldly!

Thank you for your support, bows.