critical value

Anyway, I agreed to my brother's request to help him deal with the little mess he made before.

Although they are all small things, they look terrible when piled up. At that time, it was initially estimated that if it goes well, it should take more than a year to finish the work.

Although I have long known that "more than a year" will pass quickly, as if it does not exist, but when hearing the word "more than a year", anyone will still feel that it is too long, especially when doing some small things. When breaking things and without the company of relatives and friends, it feels like years, that is, no more than 500 days. Well, it sounds longer, but it feels like 500 years under the Five Fingers Mountain.

The first feeling is like this.

So I thought about how to make myself live more comfortably under Wuzhi Mountain. After careful consideration, I realized that it is actually very simple. As long as there is a like-minded person to accompany me, I can reduce my distress by half. If it's two people who love each other, then more than a year can be enjoyed as if they were enjoyed.

Although the efficiency of such work seems to be reduced, if two people are together, it is also enjoyable to ink for a while.

So I planned to take epilepsy, anyway, he has nothing to do in the old villa in the mountains and forests alone.

During the few days of Chinese New Year, my brother and I chatted about those family friends he offended, their current attitude, how to deal with it, how long it would take, and the worst case scenario. Well, the former "we don't exist" in the second grade of secondary school has long since disappeared, and my very straight, slightly thoughtful, and somewhat weird thinking has no tacit understanding with him at all.

At night, he sleeps on the bed and I sleep under the bed.Probably for the sake of getting closer, he said that I have a quirk, why do I sleep under the bed when I have nothing to do?Then asked me to go to bed next to him, like before.But I resolutely refused. In fact, I don't know the reason why I refused him, probably because I am used to sleeping under the bed.Give him any reason——

"Brother, do you usually watch CCTV12?"

He thought for a long time before saying: "I don't usually watch TV, I'm very tired every day." Directly cutting off the opportunity for others to get to know him deeply, my brother has also deteriorated a lot in recent years...

"I watch it a lot. One time it was a special program. A family was killed by a burglar, and only one child survived hiding under the bed. It's really good to be able to escape the hunt like this."

"Oh." I don't know why, but I always felt that my brother was staring at me viciously at that time, probably because of a misunderstanding, thinking that I was mocking him for chasing and killing me back then.

He has become more and more careful in recent years.

Maybe I have become narrow-minded. When I slept under the bed at night, I didn’t fall asleep even after spending 10 minutes. This kind of thing usually doesn’t happen, because I really like to sleep.Then, after a while, I heard the sound of him tossing and turning on the bed, and occasionally knocking out of the bed a few times. I endured it. Finally, the two of us showed some signs of reconciliation, so we didn't kick on the bed and then under the bed. scold him.

Anyway, I happened to think about things myself.

It just happened that his vicious stare at me just now reminded me of his pursuit of me back then, so let's recall it a little bit.

In fact, I really don’t remember it very clearly. It should be very thrilling, depressing, desperate, and the scene of the R.15 game. It should be very fresh in my memory and I will never forget it in my life. , It's all like a dream, most of the time it's just like a dream, it's really like a dream, especially when you're forced to run around with a knife poked in your body, one foot is light and the other is heavy, and your eyes turn black and white for a while Feel.

It seemed to be when I was on summer vacation when I was 14 years old. Of course, my brother was also on summer vacation. He was supposed to go back to the Shi family’s old house to look for me, but because I heard that he was in the hospital during that time (though I don’t know if it’s a psychiatric department) , It seems that I will not be able to leave the hospital for a while, my brother Si was eager, so I ran to the northeast by myself and went to look for him in his hospital.

I don’t know if it was a premeditated plan to kill me, or simply for his own safety. The hospital he was in was a black hospital. It seems that because a certain daughter of a local gangster frequented it, he always got pig’s feet. It is protected by a halo, so many people choose to do it here, and because it is a hospital, it is more convenient to eliminate traces.

In fact, my brother didn't kill me at the beginning, he still treated me and the intimate ones in the first few days, and the intimate ones were a little weird.

During that summer vacation, he stayed in a single ward for treatment. In the huge room, there was only a clothes hanger, a poor narrow bed, a bedside table and a shelf for hanging bottles.Then...and then there is, it seems to be, probably the rope used for playing SM... He is wearing a hospital gown with buttons and buttons, a bandage around his head, sitting On the bed, the air conditioner was turned on very strongly, covered with a quilt, and the wrists exposed from the cuffs seemed to still have traces of being tied up recently...

I felt so embarrassed when I saw the red marks on his hands...

He found me within a few seconds. At that time, I had time to take a good look at the face I hadn't seen in four or five months. It was pale, just like the lights on the downstairs of the school district back then, with dark circles under my eyes. There are bloodshot eyes, it looks like a zombie...but it is even scarier than a zombie. The color of our two brothers' eyes is a little reddish brown, especially his, the lighter the pupil color, the more obvious. What's more, there are still bloodshot foils now.

He smiled slightly when he saw me, and that face looked even more terrifying.Probably because I saw his terrifying face, the few days when he was a little bit intimate with me also made me terrified, I always had an ominous premonition...

I also felt crazy during the few days of intimacy, and the symptoms didn't seem to improve at all because of my arrival.

At that time, he seemed unable to stand being alone. When I first arrived, he asked someone to move a bed from the next ward, put the two beds together, and asked me to sleep next to him at night.I don't care, anyway, it's me who sleeps badly, not him.I still thought so back then.

That's right, it seems that after his grandfather passed away, his sleeping appearance also became worse. He often tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep for a long time, and then smashed the bed board in annoyance.If there is a familiar person sleeping next to him, it will be another scene if he can't sleep for too long.I had nothing to do, and I slept well in the middle of the night, but I was woken up suddenly by a bite, not a shake.

After waking up, I was still in a daze, so I couldn't react suddenly, such as scolding him: "Why don't you sleep in the middle of the night?" Five-fingered black.The sense of touch has fully awakened, and I can feel my brother hugging, kissing and biting me. After biting for a while, I settled down. I probably fell asleep. At that time, I looked at my fluorescent watch. Looks like it's already midnight.

I didn't know that he had this habit before, probably because he was recently broken up...

The one who doesn't know if it's brother-in-law or brother-in-law is really pitiful...

That day, I slept until almost noon and didn’t get up. It seemed that I woke up a little in the morning when the sky just dawned. I saw my brother sitting on the bed in a fully awake state, staring out the window in a daze. I asked him: “ Brother, why don't you sleep?" He actually ignored me!If it were someone else, if it were me when I was sober, he would have died long ago.

Both of us have changed a lot after grandpa passed away. He was not so snake-like before, although he was a bit snake-like. I used to not have such a big anger, and I didn’t want to beat or curse people because of trivial things. , Throwing things, but now it’s the most common thing, I often blush and yell loudly at people who accidentally neglect me, sometimes I cry after yelling, and then feel more embarrassing abusing others...

I'm also sick, and I feel that my brother and I are a perfect match.

During the day, my brother and I were silent for a while, sitting side by side, he was in a daze, and I was in a daze, and then he broke the silence at first, he said: "Come here~" and then used cats to He grabbed me in a resisting way and dragged me to sit on his lap.He just laughed in a low voice, hugging, hugging, kissing and biting me like in the middle of the night.

In this way, we spent half the day.

And then, it was pretty much like this for the next few days, the last days of his being intimate with me.

In fact, he should have realized that his snake essence was more than that. He had a serious delusion of being persecuted. After I stayed with him for a few days, this situation did not alleviate, but became more and more serious. "People with delusion of persecution often have a special sense of responsibility", this is what epilepsy told me.Before I came, my brother was very light, even if he had delusions of being persecuted, he knew very well that the only thing he could lose was his own life, but after I came, he could lose more than my life, so he became more delusional about being persecuted.

One day I went out to pick up tea for my brother, because when I came back, I didn’t pay attention to the group of younger brothers at the door, and I tripped over them and spilled the tea.Because my brother was recovering quietly inside, and didn't want to disturb him, so he didn't scold those younger brothers, and didn't smash the teapot into their faces, but just stared a few times, and then threatened in a low voice That's all.

After that, I went to pick up the tea again. When I came back this time, I was wary of my little brother, so I didn't spill it.Carefully staring at the teapot, slowly opened the door, and saw my brother still sitting quietly on the bed, but his hands were already restless, and the quilt was covered with a bunch of messy things - pistols, bullets , daggers, short knives, such lethal weapons.

First, I saw him tossing a gun, unpacking and reloading the bullets, and then started playing with the knife again, scratching his wrist with a small knife, as if he was hesitating whether to cut his wrist to commit suicide.Then he felt under the pillow for a long time, and finally confirmed that he didn't know when he had hidden a knife and a gun, and then he suddenly breathed a sigh of relief.

I saw him stash that pile of lethal weapons in the bedside table.He strangled the half of the SM rope hanging beside the bed around his own neck, and after strangling for a while, he gave up and put the rope back.At this time, I walked over slowly, put the teapot on the bedside table, and then he poured a cup to drink, and suddenly asked me: "How long have you been looking at me, the tea is cold."

I didn't answer, but it should be his fault. He has been playing with knives for so long and still hasn't done anything.

If I had sensitively observed something from this scene at that time, maybe the future would be different. After all, the next thing I still have a little impression of will change the direction of my future.

It was a normal day. I went out for a walk, and when I came back, I was suddenly hugged by my brother when I closed the door. I was so scared that my heart trembled, as if I had been hit by a crocodile.Of course, all of these are appearances. What really scares me is not my own brother throwing arms at me, but him secretly putting a knife on me.

I didn't have time to snatch the knife away, and I didn't have time to push him away. I suddenly felt a dull pain in my abdomen, and after a cold, I felt a pain as if I had cut something. Then I touched the place where the knife touched just now, and it was wet. When I looked at it again, it was red.

At that time, I was probably so frightened that I broke out in a cold sweat, my hands trembled, and I stared at my brother in horror, but I saw his expression was far more terrified than mine, and it was so complicated that it was hard to describe.It looked dazed, but my hand never left the knife, and it was still slowly pushing it into my body inch by inch.

I don’t remember the feeling at that time. Anyway, I felt like I was hit on the head by the sky. I fumbled around behind my back with my hands. It might be the bloody fingerprints of the door. Then I finally touched the doorknob and grabbed it. Holding the handle of the knife, I struggled to free my brother's hand, while twisting the door with my backhand.

Fortunately, my hand strength has been relatively strong since I was a child, or my brother’s hand strength has been average since he was a child. I was 14 years old at the time, and my brother was 20 years old. , Unscrewed the door within a few tenths of a second. Although his feet were a little weak, he still bypassed a bunch of boys and ran in a random direction.

The corridor is very dark. Apart from hearing my brother’s screams in the distance, I can only see a small square shining at the end. Maybe I’m too dizzy to see it flashing pikapika. It’s like seeing It's the same as the only escape route in the TV series, and then jumped out from there.

After that, it seemed to be vacated for a while. After my feet touched the ground, I ran in a random direction. I didn’t know where I was. It was a very humid and dark place. I stayed there for a while, and then I saw A figure, standing at a very high place overlooking me, said a word, I couldn't hear it clearly, only heard "later".

I knew that I was probably saved, and then, I seemed to smile at that person.