critical value

Hello everyone, I am XX anchor Di Yusi.

This is a sentence I learned before I died.During that time, webcasting became popular, and the commercials broadcast before TV dramas were such things. It would be difficult not to learn it...

I should have mentioned before that I didn’t know what I experienced during the four years from the age of 9 to 13, and I suddenly realized a cult.In fact, I now suspect that Huo Huan should also understand the cult.And it complements mine, which is very similar in purpose.

It’s just that I found out too late, I found out when I was lying on the roof watching the snowflakes the night before I died.

If we found out earlier, we wouldn’t have to live like him. We lived for so many more years, and we struggled to die after living with such a big age difference between the two of us as siblings.

I also remember that the central idea of ​​my cult was that by inflicting pain on the world, I was actually atoning for their sins.Thinking back carefully, Huo Huan seemed to have mentioned his cult to me, just a few words, but before he died, he had a special taste in retrospect, and then he understood it.

It probably means that he is very clear that he is committing crimes by doing such a thing that makes others suffer, but seeing himself committing crimes, he feels that this is a symbol of his own vitality. The more bad he feels, the more powerful he feels But at the same time, there is still a normal side in my heart. The more I see others suffering, the more I think that this is my own sin, and the more I feel that I should die like a villain in a TV series, and then I will be happy.

Although these two feelings are quite different, they are based on the same situation and happened at the same time.

It should be said that there is one subject and one guest, both the extremes of the subject and the guest.

Then he seems to have been wandering between two choices, wanting to be "white" with abstinence, but he is an ordinary person after all.

This is probably the case...

So when he does missions, he chooses targets who disappoint his family members, people who commit heinous crimes, and people who are helpless and will not be discovered after death. He feels that he is righteous, or that he feels that he is In fact, it did not cause much pain to others.He struck quickly, probably because he wanted to alleviate the pain of the target.

I lived in his image all the time before I died, maybe it can be said that he changed me.When I was about to die, I realized his xinxing, and never wanted to change him like that moment, but I suffered from my shallow ability.It would be great if I could give him my xinxing, but there is no way, "xinxing" cannot be scalded with boiling water...

I am poor.

What's more, even if I have this ability, I don't have this opportunity. After all, I didn't really know him until more than ten years after his death.

In the past, I spent the longest time with him by myself, and I always thought that I was the one who knew him best.

Maybe that's the case, then the people who know him best don't know him anymore, and he is really withdrawn, which is different from Sunshine's personality at first glance...

He is the only complete person I have known since I have lived for so long, but he is not complete, and there is still a lot I don’t know about him...but only he can outline that little person with a few words , face, heart, this may be a complete person.

There was a time of urgency in missing, eager to jump from any number of buildings and go straight into the underworld, but this feeling disappeared in that autumn.

Nothing serious happened, nor did I suddenly figure out any great philosophy.At that time, it was just an old minister whispering in my ear, as if doing something, and then there was the sound of children playing outside the door, the sound of something heavy falling to the ground, and then Shi Xiaofeng's scream In the end, the three coincident giggles of "ah ha ha ha" went around and went away.

Suddenly I thought of Huo Huan, we must have played around like this more than a few times.

Thinking of Shi Xiaofeng, who is half a teenager, and Zhang Weiran and Zhang Haoran, who are completely children, suddenly belatedly feel that Shi Xiaofeng is very similar to Huo Huan, and their two children are very similar to me.

There is no reason.

Just feeling that the scene is familiar, I can't help but take my seat.

Later, I discovered that it was not just this appearance, Shi Xiaofeng was indeed a bit like Huo Huan, whether it was his psychopathic personality, hot on the outside or cold on the inside, kind-hearted inexplicably, or slightly masochistic.He didn't know where he heard about the game developed by Huo Huan, and he revived it without knowing why, and then he had some fun playing alone.

I listened to the rumors again. I heard that when Shi Xiaofeng tortured others and tortured him so much that he couldn't control himself, he would often have some behaviors similar to self-mutilation, such as seppuku. Of course, seppuku is the most common, maybe it was his brother's time What kind of trauma did chasing him leave him?But it's also strange that he didn't see him die after so many cuts.

But I have decided that even if he doesn't die now, he won't live for long. After all, he is so much like Huo Huan, playing the game that Hu Huan used to play alone, and then he got the "Black History Department" like Huo Huan. Their brainless worship.He's almost gone the exact same way.Just a bunch of nonsense promises.

I don't know why my feeling is wrong, until I die Shi Xiaofeng is still living very freely in the remotest corners of the world.Probably because he wants to be more considerate of himself, and he is very clear about what he has to bear—the family that almost killed him before, the life and death of his brother, the waiting and expectation for him from Chen who was kidnapped, and our , the entire legacy of the Qing Dynasty actually lies in his one thought.

It's really more meritorious than the master, but fortunately the boss has a too good temper, so he doesn't bother to care about him.

Before, the winter when he had just kidnapped Xchen, it should be almost spring, and he saw the two of them chasing and fighting in the weed-covered front yard, having a great time.Especially when I saw Shi Xiaofeng running around as he wanted, and then a certain Chen ran wildly behind him without thinking, it really reminded me of brother Huanhan and I. In fact, the two of them are more like us, but they are not the same.

A certain Chen is just a fool, I managed to bring him down, I feel like I can finally make the two of them exactly like us, but I don’t know what stimulated him, he was out of his mind all day long, and finally came back from grandpa When he said something like "I don't want to kill people in the future", I actually agreed with him.

People change...

I also became sympathetic to others, probably because I was dying during that time, and my life was gradually weakening.

But there is a very good saying of the Holy Mother - "Helping others is helping yourself".

The reason why Shi Xiaofeng didn't commit suicide all this time, or there are other reasons, is because of Chen—he's not like me.

I can see that he is not only trusting and relying on Shi Xiaofeng, but maybe he is thinking of him and trying to share his pain, not me. My brother is a little different.

If Chen was changed into my appearance, maybe he and Shi Xiaofeng would be BE.However, I really want to watch their HE, which is strange. Even when I watch TV dramas, I always feel that BE is better, which is impressive, but I look forward to their HE.Probably because the two of them look a lot like us.

Even if Brother Huohan and I don't have HE, but seeing Shi Xiaofeng and Mou Chen HE who are very similar to us, I can feel a little comfort in my heart.

(This is also one of the reasons why the author writes novels. Even if I don’t get HE, I can comfort myself by watching the character I created using myself as the prototype.)

In fact, when people are about to die of illness or old age, they have a privilege—that is, to feel when they will die.

This kind of statement has been heard a lot from the elders in the family since I was a child. I didn’t expect that after leaving the family for more than 16 years, this kind of nonsense actually came true to me...

It’s true, I could already feel it a few days before my death, the gloomy weather paved the way for my death, and the atmosphere was rendered. At that time, I liked to open the curtains a little, and then put my forehead on the glass On the bed, feeling the low temperature outside through a layer of glass, it hurts from the cold, but I feel happy for no reason in my heart. Looking at the vast mountain scenery outside the window, I occasionally reflect on myself, as if I haven’t been here for ten years. The outdoors are over.

I can really stay at home, and suddenly I remembered that-"Do you know why my grandson can stay at home for 500 years? There is KFC home delivery." This advertisement.

It seems that the gloomy sky outside the window did not set off my sad mood.Inexplicably, I would think of some funny things, such as KFC home delivery... Then I looked like I was insane, lying on the glass and laughing foolishly, talking nonsense from time to time. The appearance also made Mou Chen jump a little.

Then, finally, the day came.

I guess I will probably die in my sleep with a peaceful face tonight, but since I was a child, I have been a relatively active person, especially in the past few years, I have lived like a volcano brother, and I have become more and more active, so I am not reconciled to myself. There will be such a dull result.But I'm going to die soon, I must hurry up and think of some good ideas...

After thinking about it, maybe because idiots like high places, I somehow got on the roof.Today is the first day of the lunar calendar, and there should be no moon, but because of the overcast clouds, we can’t see the stars. The night sky like this is really bleak, and I seem to be born in the middle of the night like this.

But if you think about it, it’s actually not bad. The wind direction is just right, and it’s blowing towards me, so the snowflakes seem to be drifting towards me. I didn’t care about it before, but it’s surprisingly beautiful when you look at it this way...

——I still remember that one year, I was shoveled down by Huo Huan in the snow, and the two fell into a ball.At that time, the wind seemed to be blowing head on, and all the snowflakes seemed to be falling on us...

— that was probably the last thing I thought about before I died.

"Such a death seems to be quite low..." In fact, these were the last words that echoed in my mind.

The author has something to say:

Who is Mouchen?Everyone, you should have forgotten Xiao Shou's name that broke half the sky......

PS: Hello everyone, I am the author of XX anchor, and my hands have been softened by Quan Yu's abuse recently. How about changing from abuse to sweetness?Why does Gongjin love Brother Ce so much?Why did Quan Yu become Ce Yu again even halfway through the reincarnation stalk?Why can't Xiao Quan'er attack Gongjin every time he is close to Chibi?And why at this time the author got cold feet and didn't know how to face the pitfalls of history...