critical value

Shi Xiaofeng's brother said in a video chat not long ago that when he first arrived at Moscow International Airport, he saw a tall and strange boy leading a delinquent boy. The two ran back and forth across the airport several times while screaming .

"Do you want to know who they are?"

"Brother, you don't need to say it, it must be Pa Nan and his illegitimate son, I asked them to pick up the plane... And that's not a strange call, it's what they are calling your name." Shi Xiaofeng looked helpless answer.

"My name? When did my dad give me such a strange name?"

"He is a crooked nut, and it's normal to have a little accent... Well, let's not talk about it, I'll hang up."

"Ehhh!!!"

(black screen)

Shi Xiaofeng's brother, whose name is full of rare characters, is really difficult to type, so in any words that appear in the future, it will be temporarily shortened forever-"Crazy Brother".

(So ​​back to an international airport in Moscow on the day of pick-up)

God Pa and his illegitimate son were wandering around with his illegitimate son, and the two of them went back and forth several times while calling Crazy Brother's name in the pronunciation of a ghost in the snow country.And a certain great god that the two of them couldn't find no matter what, was now within a distance of less than [-] meters from them, wearing the most popular sunglasses of the season and swiping their phones, turning a deaf ear to everything around them.

"Hello! Shi Xiaofeng!" Pa Nanshen, who was already furious when he was looking for someone, really dialed an international long-distance call when he was desperate.

"Ah? God Pa? Why did you call me? Did you pick up my brother?"

"I didn't find him at all, and there is no one who looks the same as in the photo... If I didn't listen to you, I would have put up a sign with your brother's name on it. …”

"It's better not to, my brother will feel very ashamed when he sees your ugly handwriting, and he is surrounded by Chinese uncles and aunts who come to travel. Even if he sees you, he will not dare to go there."

"Then what should we do? Does he have any other characteristics?"

"Oh, he's very thin. He's not so thin. If you see any East Asian faces around who are as thin as a supermodel, it must be him."

Pa Nanshen once thought this method was unreliable, but these few words have already spent all his phone bills, and no matter how unreliable it is, he must fight to the death... He always thought so, until the illegitimate bad boy came to give it to him. He pointed in one direction and said softly, "Dad, you see that person is as thin as a piece of paper, could it be Shi Xiaofeng's brother?"

Pa Nanshen's eyes lit up with a "swish", and rushed towards the thin figure like a piece of paper at the speed of the wind.So Crazy Brother was playing with his mobile phone and suddenly felt dizzy and dizzy for no reason. He was pressed on the sofa by a strange flower who broke through the sky for no reason. He almost grinned to the ears, and roared something with a distorted face, and carried the crazy brother out of the airport on his shoulders, and put his sunglasses on the bridge of his nose by the way.

At that time, Crazy Brother had a calm expression on his face, obediently lying on Pa Nanshen's shoulder and playing with his mobile phone.While frenziedly recruiting and torturing the enemy soldiers, he kept calm and thought silently: "Am I being kidnapped? I wonder if the little lunatic will pay the ransom? What if he doesn't? It's none of my business, as long as Being able to use WIFI, playing games and watching TV shows, being kidnapped is also a good experience (laughs).”

Being carried to the parking lot, Pa Nanshen kicked wildly at a monster off-road vehicle with the height of two people. The soy sauce driver was kicked awake after a long time, and silently shook the glass with a groan. With an expression out of touch with the world, he said "Oh", and finally remembered to jump down and open the door.The illegitimate son rushed into the co-pilot's seat, Pa Nanshen threw his crazy brother into the back row and sat in it himself, then stared at him with a smile for about three or four minutes, then took out his phone and turned to drink A photo of Shi Xiaofeng, who is drunk and halazi, asking with a very strange accent: "Areyouhisbrother?"

However, Crazy Brother didn't understand what Pa Nanshen said. He just saw a tall and strange flower breaking through the sky holding a mobile phone. On the screen of the mobile phone was a damaged photo of Shi Xiaofeng, asking something fiercely, and That sentence was also automatically filtered into: "Hurry up and call this person and ask him to pay the ransom."

"Do you want to kill me?"

Although Brother Crazy asked this question, it was obvious that Pa Nanshen didn't understand a single word. Although he compared the photos for a while, he finally confirmed that this person was Shi Xiaofeng's brother, but what should we do?At least communicate with this person!Otherwise, how embarrassing and embarrassing the atmosphere would be!This person still doesn't know what weird things are thinking in the brain circuit theater?Oh right, did he just say "Doyouwanttokillme?"

"No." In order to prevent this person from thinking wildly and then going crazy and biting people like Shi Xiaofeng's narration, Pa Nanshen immediately rejected his train of thought, and then climbed to the front row to ask the old driver for help: "Hey Tiedan, I heard you can say Chinese, how about you translate it for us?"

"Okay, remember to raise your salary."

"Ah."

——The following is the dialogue translated by the old driver——

Pa——started hypocritically: "You are Shi Xiaofeng's elder brother, right?"

Translation: [Your boy is Shi Xiaofeng's brother? 】

How about complimenting him: "It's really extraordinary."

Translation: [You look so TM handsome! 】

Then he pretended to be serious: "In the future, we can cooperate friendly and cooperatively."

Translation: [Uncle, I love you to death~]

Pa Nanshen smiled slightly, looking like a cunning old cat stretched out his right hand in front of Crazy Brother, originally wanted to shakehands friendly, but was slapped away by the other party.. ....

Brother: "Huh!"

Translation: [hum!The rogue pervert is shameless! 】

——So the old driver was fired——

As for how the two will communicate in the future?It's very simple, I downloaded a language software with a voice translation function on the Internet, from Chinese to Russian, and from Russian to Chinese, 66 is simply unnecessary.

For example, after two people eat and live together every day for half a month and finally get to know each other a little better——

Pa: "Brother Shi Xiaofeng~"

"Get out, I don't want to talk to a pervert who has a son in his teens, and his son is now in his teens."

"Huh? Who has a son in his teens?"

So Shi Xiaofeng's brother learned a shocking fact, this person who looks like himself is about 40 years old!After counting, he is clearly 11 years older than himself!But why do they look the same size?

"Brother Shi Xiaofeng, it's not that I look young, it's that you look too old~I'll tell you an old secret~" He touched his brother's face, "After quitting smoking, your skin will be much better~" Brother Crazy looked indifferent He patted the big black paw aside, "And don't stay up all night, your bags under the eyes are comparable to the koalas in the zoo."

Brother Crazy wants to sleep too, but he can't sleep if he doesn't bite!So that night, when normal people were sleeping, screams echoed for a long time in a small villa in St. Petersburg. The neighbor next door is brutally abusing children.So the police arrived in a police car, and Pa Nanshen stood at the door and explained helplessly, and finally found out the white and clean illegitimate son of a bad boy, so as to prove that he never abused children.By the way, I showed the tooth marks on my arm - "My son has always abused me!!!!"

"Dad, it was Shi Xiaofeng's brother who bit him, so why blame me?"

"Quietly, if you don't say that, can they leave?"

The policeman yawned, gave a few perfunctory warnings, and drove off in the police car with a "whoop".Pa Nanshen watched them leave with a smile and waved his hands, then turned around and called Shi Xiaofeng again: "Hey, Shi Xiaofeng, come quickly and let your brother take a bite, he's yelling '吱吱——'! !! It was as loud as a boiler, so the neighbors called the police!"

"Where are you now?"

"St. Petersburg."

"It's been 800 years since I passed...and can you tell the time when you call in the future? Now I have epilepsy and I'm too lazy to sleep until noon every day. You wake him up early in the morning and get up very angry. Ah, he is grinning weirdly and sharpening his knife right now! Maybe this is the last time you talk to me... Just donate your arm to my brother, and I'll hang up."

"Wait! I let him bite a few times, but it doesn't work!"

"(busy tone)"

Pa Nanshen smiled bitterly in despair, and said to his son, "Son, why don't you go and give him a bite."

"I do not want it."

God Pa Nan suddenly regretted it, why did he advise Crazy Brother not to stay up late during the day?He must be crying "squeak--" because he can't sleep and he cares about his koala eyes...

(End of episode [-])

——Bonus Russian Small Theater——

Brother: "Where did your illegitimate son come from? Why didn't he appear on stage before?"

Pa: "Where else can it come from? It was born by a mistress. I like my son but I don't love her, so I picked him up and raised him. As for why he hasn't appeared before? Because the author forgot him."

Brother: "(with contempt on his face)"

Pa: "But after a few years of raising him, I suddenly realized that my son is such a creature that I hate it more and more. I was arrested and locked up in a detention center for half a month because he was driving a motorcycle without a license."

Brother: "(Despise even more)"

(Jump to the detention center of the year)

"Hey, look, isn't that Pa [abbreviated below] Ski?"

"That's right, it's Pa [abbreviated below]! Why is he here? We're probably doomed!"

Pa [abbreviated below] smiled and said, "You want to know why I'm here?" Scared the crowd, "I was arrested because my son drove a motorcycle without a license. Ah Hahaha~~~~"

(Russian theater ends)

The author has something to say:

I wrote this after listening to "Dalabang Bar"...