critical value

In fact, what should be written in the extra episode of "Critical Value" this time?I don't know too well myself.

I don’t even know if anyone has read this work. If anyone reads it, they must be very indifferent readers, because they never interact with me, and even find it troublesome to ask a question. Heartbroken... But that's okay, because I have long since realized that no one will watch this work, and I have already acquiesced to this reality, so I wrote it, and if someone reads it, they should be able to notice , At the beginning, I deliberately used words to be more polite, but then it became more and more broken, and it was no different from my usual speech.

Because I know that if I write it myself, I am afraid that in the end I will only read it by myself.

In fact, it’s really good to enjoy it alone——

This time the author wants to say something in his heart to readers who probably don't exist.

The author, my junior high school dog, is a puppy who was brutally abused by children. I am 15 years old. Although the gender in my profile is male, I am a girl!Because I grew up among boys since I was a child, I always thought I was a boy. It was not until Shi Xiaofeng, who fell in love with the three-dimensional in junior high school, that I suddenly realized... At that time, I always thought he was my good buddy. I collapsed - how could I like my good buddy! ?Am I gay?Oh no, I'm a woman!

But my personal speaking habits are inexplicably biased towards men, so I have been filling in various social software - gender male.

I am a typical example of making friends carelessly and ruining life forever, so everyone must first choose the same sex when making friends! ! ! !

Sorry for digressing.

In short, I am now writing the novel with extreme vernacular, without any scruples, and I really feel like telling my heart while writing.So I couldn't stop writing, and expressed what I wanted to say through the inner monologue of the two pig feet, which also caused me to have nothing to say in the postscript.

But this is really good, I confide everything, I don't seem to like the three-dimensional Shi Xiaofeng that much anymore.

Also, I have always wanted to say that I have broken with the three-dimensional Shi Xiaofeng, but in fact there is no... If the two of us still have a tacit understanding like before, then he must have a lot of words like me Want to say, think of me like I miss him, and like me like I can't feel anything against him...but...we don't meet each other's standards, but Possibly the most compatible guy in the world...

I was wrong, our type is more suitable to be friends, but I was wrong, it was my other relationship that started...

So I poured everything I wanted to say into "Critical Value". At the beginning, I didn't have so many personal feelings, but as time went by, the reality gradually changed, and I wanted to say more and more. , "Threshold" has also become a place for me to confide in myself-it's kind of sad to think about it.how to say?Is it based on illusory network writers?Roughly the same.

I seem to have said everything, but in fact there are still some things that I didn’t say, so when I wrote nearly 159 words in Chapter 5000, and then reluctantly typed "——END——", I really wanted to press the button The backspace key deletes all the ending symbols. After all, I still want to continue writing, and there are more things I want to say to Shi Xiaofeng that I haven't said yet.But I saw the above sentence "I believe that everything is said", and finally gave up.

I really have a lot of words that I want to pour out all at once, and it must be like a torrential river (this analogy makes me laugh).But I didn't have the courage to go to Shi Xiaofeng's side and say everything, so I couldn't say it, and it was buried deep in my heart. For a long time, I seemed to be pressed into the ground. I didn't want to admit this reality, so I became more and more nervous It's violent.

Our Xiaochen has become the Zhili of the eldest sister, and the bloody road of no return is the embodiment of my relationship.But I was longing for relief, and it seemed that I was relieved a little later-by recalling our past over and over again, dreaming about a happy ending in the future over and over again, or going crazy chapter by chapter in "Critical Value" type.

Didn't Xiaochen also get free in the end?But his release was accompanied by Shi Xiaofeng's return, the unswerving trust between the two parties, and their willingness to dedicate their love to each other... But I only have the illusory "Threshold Value".

By the way, the three-dimensional Shi Xiaofeng also called me "epilepsy" before.

When I first started writing this article, I wanted to commemorate that we had been friends for four years, but I don’t know why, I wrote and wrote it until the fifth year, but it was the fifth year that witnessed our parting ways.It’s really a pity. In fact, I once wanted to BE “Critical Value”, but I don’t know where to read an article, saying that Beethoven still insisted on creating a story even when he was seriously ill, completely deaf, and betrayed. We are all familiar with this, but only that article mentions it lightly-he wrote "Ode to Joy" during that period of loneliness and almost giving up.

"Ode to Joy" was clearly written by a desperate person, but everyone can only taste happiness and hope from it.

Beethoven, the great god, seems to have left a famous saying. I forget the specifics, but it probably means that happiness does not disappear. When people feel distressed about the present, it still exists in the unchanging past.

Beethoven, the great god, seems to be enduring pain while recalling his childhood, while writing "Ode to Joy".

A great man has a great meaning, that is, he can inspire ordinary people.

I'm an ordinary person so I was inspired by him, and then I suddenly didn't want to be--sounds like nonsense, but it is true.

I suddenly found myself writing an emotional scene, and it took a long time like a dog pulling a sheep's intestines, which also has something to do with my personality.The three-dimensional Shi Xiaofeng and I can be regarded as childhood sweethearts. We were entangled for N years before we were able to say the phrase "I like you". He said it 3 times back and forth, although he smirked at me for the first time. Class, the second time he said he knew, and the third time he chatted with his friends the next day.But we have been entangled for N+1 years now, and there is still no result of entanglement, but it is almost cut off.

- We've known each other since we were 7 years old, maybe even longer ago, when we can't even remember.There was a time before, when I was still a primary school student, but I was inexplicably desperate, which had something to do with my personality.At that time, I was always alone, being excluded and criticized by others. Although it was all a child's tricks, I was just a child with a slightly sensitive mind, so of course I couldn't bear it.

For a while, I wanted to write a suicide note, just like those brats in the news who committed suicide after writing homework, just find a place to die and forget it.

But his figure was reflected in my desperate eyes. At first, he was completely opposite to me—he was always the focus of everyone, and he always looked like a swagger. There were so many friends and so many people surrounded him. , I was very envious for a moment, and wanted to see him more, so I procrastinated and failed to die, and met his good buddy Jia Doudou—yes, there is this person in the third dimension, although he is not called Jia Doudou so stupid name.

In the beginning, it was Jia Doudou who opened the door for me. I gradually changed a little bit, from only daring to look at him from a distance with a mentality of looking up to the gods, to being able to secretly like him—that’s right. I like it, I am not a precocious primary school student, I just like it purely, it has nothing to do with interests or sex, I am just attracted by the purest soul of the other party.

One day when it was snowing heavily, he suddenly flashed out from behind me, and then shoveled me into the snow with one kick, and he fell to the ground without standing still.The two entangled with each other with a sense of déjà vu, and soon got up and left.He took a few good buddies and left a few steps, but he looked back at me and said, "Are you okay?" I couldn't answer him, he just kept his head down, and that look might be described as shy, afraid of his own Little's secret seemed to be seen through by him.

Because I still had to enter a classroom in the end, I followed him a few steps and secretly looked up at his back, thinking that I was very greedy.So when he suddenly turned his head and smiled at me, I continued to look down at my feet.The pace is also getting slower and slower, deliberately staggering with him.

That's the earliest...earliest heartbeat I can remember?

Maybe so to speak.

Then I approached him for some unknown reason. For some reason, we got along very well. I even knew his bank.bank.card password, and even saw the original account book of his family. ——"Shi Xiaofeng", he once used this name when we didn't know each other, so I used it here.

The name he uses now, I can't say it because I feel guilty for him, and every time I am about to blurt it out, my heart feels like a knife is piercing.And "Arnie K," which I used to call him, but can't say anymore.

I don't know why, but it's just a pity.

He took me out of the setting of a primary school student who almost wanted to write a suicide note. I was like a pig's foot in a Japanese anime. I entered the feature film after running behind him.

——This feeling is very vivid in my heart, but "human language is like a small cauldron with cracks. We wanted to knock out beautiful sounds to move the stars in the sky, but we can only make bears dance."This is the only way I can describe it with my writing style, which I haven't graduated from junior high school.

Or to borrow the description in "Night Flight", I seem to be driving a plane like a piece of paper through the storm, I am exhausted physically and mentally, how I wish someone could suddenly appear and sit next to me to hold me The steering wheel, if he said: "Turn left." Then I will definitely turn the steering wheel to the left without hesitation.

Shi Xiaofeng was the one who held the steering wheel for me.

Now I want to do something to make up for him, whether I want to become his own object or plaything for a while, mixed with the "like" that gradually became desire in my youth, I just want to do my best to repay him—— —Although it is a desire, it is a desire to dedicate oneself to the other party.

I have always admired him. If I use warm words to describe him, it would be "admiration". Of course, "admiration" seems to be more than "love".I hope Xiaochen in this work can reflect my feelings well.

Although Shi Xiaofeng looks like a god-man in my mind, he is still an ordinary person in the end. Some time ago, I gradually realized how fragile he is and how much entanglement he has in his heart.Oh, he really cried on my arm, it seems to be written in "Critical Value". ——I hope the little lunatic in this work can well reflect him in my mind.

I personally think that "Threshold Value" poured out my most feelings, and the best imitation of my three-dimensional friends.But in fact, "Alexander" is the same. At that time, my Sagittarius nature was just beginning to awaken, so there were male and female protagonists running around the bridge. This was because I wanted to follow the three-dimensional Shi Xiaofeng and let him take me away. Where I have never been, I will take him to where he has never been...

If there are really readers who are reading it, if you really like this stinky and long confession masterpiece, "I can see the projection of the author himself in "Critical Value"", this is what I want to hear the highest rating.