critical value

In fact, I have always had no confidence in the relationship between epilepsy and me. Maybe I am an old fool in his eyes13, just like a big brother who weighed half a catty in the 80s and [-]s of the last century.Especially after I poured out my sad experience to him with emotion, he didn't respond.I became more determined about my lack of confidence.

Maybe I really can't rank in his heart, but even so, I am strong and I will never give up on myself!

Before he dumped me openly.

It was an ordinary day, but not an ordinary day.Because for me, every day is almost the same, but that day was a New Year's Eve night, an important day for family reunion to watch the Spring Festival Gala.I didn't go home to reunite with my brother, because I was afraid of being infected by him, so I stayed in the old villa in the northeast of the mountain forest—anyway, I used to spend years with BOSS and the others in this way, and now I don't feel any disobedience.

A group of people gathered around to play cards, and I didn’t want to hit them because I was too lucky... Forget it, I feel so ashamed—I only had one pair of pants left because I was too lucky to lose, so I haven’t been here since a long time ago During the Chinese New Year, I gathered with relatives and friends to gamble, but sat on the sidelines, watching the Spring Festival Gala by myself, killing time and waiting for the cannon.

Whenever this happens, I will have an indescribable illusion-I always think that I have become a pig's foot in Riman in an instant.Because of the reason for the second disease of middle school, he is very withdrawn, never in contact with others, and looks lonely and self-admired, and does not get along with the noise of the world.They played cards behind my back and made a noise, and I watched the Spring Festival Gala quietly by myself, which seemed to be similar to the pig's feet in Japanese manga.

In fact, I don’t really like being alone. If I concentrate on watching the Spring Festival Gala and see a place worth complaining about but no one talks to me, do I have to talk to myself like a snake?But if you don't say it, it's embarrassing to hold it in your heart.So although I pretended to be concentrating on watching the Spring Festival Gala, I was actually thinking about my own affairs.For example, I have been struggling with epilepsy recently.

Thinking about it, I became like any unrequited love who suffers from 13, becoming overjoyed and worried about gains and losses. After a while, I remembered the bad things we did together before, and remembered the short few days when we were in Jiangnan. Life, think of every move and every word he seems to have shown since he met him until now.Maybe he likes me a little bit?

But after thinking about it again, those words may have come from a mischievous mentality, which is meaningless, and even now he can't remember it at all, but I still worry about it here.Sure enough, in his mind, I was no different from those big brothers who weighed half a catty in the 80s and [-]s of the last century.Thinking about the little eyes he looked at me with contempt, the first reaction was "hehe, so cute", and the second reaction became "maybe he looks down on me very much".

At that moment, my heart felt cold.It's best I don't show it on my face.

I don't know how the next game is going. I don't even know whether they are playing "Seven Kings Five Two Three" or "Struggling for the Top", or they have gathered two poker cards of the same suit and are playing "Catch the black tip"?Of course, the most likely one is "Fighting the Landlords" - a card game that fascinates the N-generation youth in China.

But I still know exactly how noisy they are. The BOSS didn't know what good cards they got, and said with a smile, "My cards are rotten, I've never been so rotten~"; One of them, when others played some cards, she would complain about it for a long time and couldn't calm down, probably because there was no one to play with her; but I don't know why, the day of epilepsy was unexpectedly quiet.It may be that you have touched something good and are ready to accumulate.

Although he has never been able to beat me in boxing guessing, but after the Chinese New Year last year, I heard from Zhang Weiran that he is very lucky in poker, and even the boss is completely incomparable to him.

Groove!so smart!

People like me who have never lost in boxing games, but who are so unlucky in poker are stunned with envy!But at least in this way, I will never dare to gamble in my life.

It suddenly occurred to me that a recent Ig Nobel Prize was a study of whether touching a crocodile would reduce people's desire to gamble. The results of the study showed that touching a crocodile makes people excited, which secretes more hormones and makes people want to gamble more.

Suddenly I want to laugh.But I am calm, even if my heart is turbulent, I will not show a single star on my face.What is more important now is to pretend to be concentrating on watching the Spring Festival Gala, or what if I get caught playing cards?He will definitely lose his family, kill his wife and sell his children.

In fact, I don't know when it was, anyway, epilepsy suddenly appeared next to me like a teleportation, stared at me stupidly for a while, and then accompanied me to watch the Spring Festival Gala.I don't know if he is really watching the Spring Festival Gala or just pretending to watch it. Anyway, I'm just pretending to watch it.I have been tangled in my heart, and I don't quite know what I am tangled in. It is the feeling of panic in my heart.But his face still pretended to be a blank expressionless look.

Then somehow, listening to the atmosphere of those people playing cards became hot again, I suddenly felt like a pig's foot in Riman again.I was walking in the opening song, surrounded by gray little people shaking regularly, and I was the only colorful figure standing in the crowd, insisting on finding another way or stopping, looking lonely and indescribable.

But even so, it doesn’t matter, after all, the routine will save me—after playing for about a minute, and I’m alone for more than a minute, a person with the same color will suddenly run out and grab my big black claw It dragged me into a colorful and dazzling world daubed by the producer, and I ran into the feature film as I ran.

Inexplicably, I recalled the previous feeling—it seemed that after I met epilepsy, everything I had lost was coming back to me one by one.

I guess, maybe the person who pulled my big black claw and brought me into the feature film was none other than epilepsy.

Looking at the Spring Festival Gala, besides my thoughts being broken, I suddenly felt a chill behind my back, and looked back "swish", only to find that epilepsy was staring at me, and I felt a sudden pain in my heart for no reason.Maybe it's because I haven't seen him in Sichuan for a long time, and for the first time I didn't dare to look him directly.I had no choice but to narrow my eyes unnaturally and look away, pretending to stare at the card players behind him, but involuntarily, my gaze finally turned to him.

Watching the Spring Festival Gala, I suddenly heard some strange voices coming from behind, like pulling a zipper, but it was less metallic.In fact, I also know that this is the sound made by a slacker who doesn't want to stand up and rubs against the sofa bit by bit.But because I can be sure that this person is epileptic, I feel inexplicably flustered and painful in my heart, as if I am going to expend all my heart and blood to burst out all my internal organs.

In the end, the epilepsy came next to me. Of course, I calmed down soon after, and continued to pretend that nothing happened, pretending to watch the Spring Festival Gala with a blank face.I know I haven't dealt with epilepsy in a while, and I know that teenagers like him can turn upside down after a week or two without seeing each other, but I really didn't expect him to become so restless , deliberately said some very "scary" words, which damaged my internal organs.

It was almost eleven o'clock at that time, and I could run out to set off firecrackers after sitting down for a while—this is the greatest joy in my 20-plus years of life during the Chinese New Year every year. Watching the Spring Festival Gala every year is waiting for the countdown to the New Year For a moment, at this time, you can "swoosh" and run downstairs to light the fire.I have been looking forward to it for more than 20 years, just like Zhu Ziqing is looking forward to the footsteps of spring.

The atmosphere is quite good, it is the kind of atmosphere that makes people sleepy in the last less than an hour before the New Year's Eve. I suddenly heard the sound of epilepsy in a trance, which made me wake up with a start. It may be because of high blood pressure. Yes, the carotid artery was also beating like it was about to burst. I still remember him sitting not far behind me and saying: "Hey, Shi Xiaofeng, I have something very important to tell you...listen Well, I will only say the important thing twice."

I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal, at least it’s not something I care about, for example, the old Wang next door suddenly changed from a dog slave to a cat slave, etc., but what he really said surprised me, almost completely waking up up.

"I like you...yes, I like you."

These are his exact words, and I believe I remember not a single punctuation mark.After all, it was also a sentence that almost scared me to death due to brain congestion.

But at the time, I didn't know what reaction I should make. I was completely dominated by the feeling of high blood pressure that could not be cured for a long time, but I couldn't suppress the ecstasy in my heart, so I turned my head and smiled at him obscenely. and said, "I know."

Even if I said that, even if the feelings buried in my heart were answered, but because I had been looking forward to it for too long, I could only make such a stupid and indifferent response.In fact, maybe there is no need for such a soul-stirring promise, and because I missed the best time to answer, I am afraid that I will feel very embarrassed if I answer it again, so it is better not to say it, I would rather believe that he can understand me from the silence.

On the night of New Year’s Eve, BOSS and the others had epilepsy, a group of people burned paper money around a gossip stove, and I set off fireworks on the stone road in the courtyard. Echoes are noisier than thousands of households lighting firecrackers together in the city. Listening to the noise, I don’t know why another idea came up——

I really want to keep the epilepsy with me all the time, and never separate it.

The author has something to say:

But that's what Shi Xiaofeng from the three-dimensional world answered. It's so wonderful that people can't forget it!

PS: The progress has been a bit slow recently, and it should be able to pick up soon.