critical value

"When you feel that you are alone, there may be someone secretly staring at your tired face from a distance; Maybe someone is on the way to help you get out of this loneliness—and all you have to do is wait quietly."

——A new style of humanities.

...... (The part of the main character in the monologue of God's troubles)......

I seem to have been decadent in Russia for three years, like a dream, and I still can’t recall what I was doing all day long during that time. The only thing I can remember is that I seem to follow some friends on the street every evening. Walking around, everyone ran shoulder to shoulder into the small bar on the street, drinking spirits bottle by bottle—because I wanted to escape from reality, I drank much more than others every day with my head depressed.

Sometimes there are only a few people in our group who have a relatively low alcohol capacity, or those who have been drinking all the time are drunk, so at that time I will be helped back to the temporary residence by my friends, and a bunch of people will raise their voices all the way. Singing non-stop, or running around ringing other people's doorbells like a child.Every time I come back home feeling dizzy, I always fall asleep in the porch, sleep until the afternoon, wash my face, comb my hair, take a shower, change clothes to relieve my headache, and then in the evening, I went to drink again... ...

It has been in an infinite loop like this.

But in fact, it’s not the same every day. Sometimes, all of us will be drunk like mud, and we will fall asleep on the bar counter and the floor of other people’s small bars. We don’t know when we fall asleep. Suddenly being moved out by the boss and his brother-in-law and thrown on the street, we often didn't respond, we groaned and cursed a few times and continued to sleep.

Falling asleep, if it’s winter, I’m lucky to be woken up in the cold wind in the middle of the night, dizzy, shivering from the cold, and I’m very conscientious to wake up my friends, otherwise I will be frozen to death on the street.A group of people were shivering, their upper and lower teeth were fighting with the cold, and they huddled into a small group and went back to each house to find each other... We all lived alone.Then as soon as I got home, I fell asleep in the porch and slept the whole day.

If it was spring, summer, and autumn, there would be no such thing as waking up from the cold. I slept on the street until dawn, and a bunch of people occupied the entire street early in the morning, and they were beaten to the corner by the street sweeper with a broom Continue to sleep. In the afternoon, a bunch of people wake up one after another. Generally, they just go to someone’s house to "ah ha ha ha" for a while, but sometimes the wallet will be stolen by some unscrupulous passers-by. This Sometimes we will be awakened by the screams of the first person to wake up, and everyone complains that the living expenses that we made up this month are in deficit again.I shouted very readily: "I have invited you in the past few days!"

And then there was a burst of flattering screams from them...

It has been decadent like this for three years.

In addition to learning Russian and getting better at drinking, I have been with my youth for three years, and it seems that in exchange for three years of sleep without dreaming

——Russia is really a good place to cure insomnia.

So, three years later, when I was 22 years old, I completely became an uncle with messy hair, unshaven beard, unkempt face and koala eyes.

In May of that year, I received a call from BOSS in that uncle-like state, and he asked me if I was doing well?Don't forget to go back to see him in the last few days, and a long-lost new task is about to be assigned to me.In the last few days, I had a good time with friends and friends, and a group of old men cried and howled in the cool night wind in May. Finally, I got on the flight back to China and said goodbye to the time when I was most frustrated in my life. Waiting for the dawn together friends.

Only in this way did I get rid of the decadence of those three years, so I soon encountered epilepsy and got rid of the most frustrating period. I don’t know how they are far away in the ice and snow.Hope is doing well too.

When I got off the plane, I was in Northeast China, and the treatment was very good. The BOSS also specially sent someone to pick me up. By the way, I carried the few pieces of luggage. I arrived at the headquarters smoothly along the way. Empty my mind and try my best not to think about anything - but I really don't feel anything.

It seems that these three years of depravity have completely numbed me.

The BOSS hasn't changed at all in the past three years. It's a leisurely life in the headquarters. When it sees me, it's like a mother who is busy urging marriage in TV dramas, saying that I've lost weight. is it good?Is there anything unsatisfactory?In the future, don't report the good news and don't worry about it outside.You see, you have grown 30 years old in these few years, and you are not too young. Hurry up and start a family. If you meet a suitable one, don’t let it go. I have known your dad since I was your age... ..

That's right, it's still the old routine, he got into the drama while talking.

What do you know about my dad...

Then he rambled happily for a long time before he talked about the topic related to this mission. He said that overall it was not very difficult, but it took a little time, at least three or four months... ..Let me act according to the notification of the local Zhangbu minions. Before the notification, I will stay with the parents of an elite in Shibu, and I can run around freely.

"How is it, not bad."

"Ah."

"However, there is one thing that may not be good... This mission is carried out in Jiangnan."

"Yeah." At that time, I was numbly letting myself go, and I didn't realize what he said for a while. Later, when I arrived in Jiangnan, it happened to be the most comfortable season just like last time. The fine and dense misty rain, the washed but blurred scenery behind the rain curtain, breathing the humid air, and had to wear waterproof canvas shoes, only then did I understand the real intention of BOSS.

——This seems to have a special name in psychology, called stimulation therapy, which means forcing the patient to face the facts he does not want to face, so as to numb him and achieve the purpose of treatment.

Just like me now, feeling everything that belongs to Jiangnan alone, I can’t help but think back to Zhang Haoran, recalling his departure, but I have to numb myself, I have to force myself to be freed from that time-obviously I feel that it is impossible .

I know very well that if people are bored, they will instinctively create unnecessary troubles or troubles out of nothing, just to allow themselves to have something to do.So I can't help thinking about Zhang Haoran's affairs, and I can also avoid it by finding something for myself to do.

At that time, it was May in Anhui, and it was already the beginning of summer. A small city was misty and rainy, and there were not many places to go. If I still drank, I always felt that it was meaningless to go back to China...so I had nothing to do Confused about what to do to pass the boring time, I wasted several days for no reason, and I was able to sleep soundly in those days, and I couldn’t even dream. It seems that I have been numb for the past three years. My skills have also improved.

In the end, I finally decided. I plan to spend most of my time singing in KTV, and when the middle school students are out of school in the afternoon, I will sit at the gate of a school in the depths of an alley with chaotic traffic, and prepare to watch one after another. field, large or small car accidents.

When did I start to have the habit of gloating at other people's misfortune?It seems to have started a long time ago, and it seems to have been developed recently.

Singing KTV during the day is much cheaper than at night. If you use a mini bag, it's only 12 yuan an hour. It's so cheap anyway, so idiots don't sing.So during that time, I spent the whole day there every day, singing so dumb that I couldn’t speak every day, and then in the evening, I ran for almost 5 kilometers in the drizzle. Go to the gate of the middle school that is said to have the best school uniform in the city, and wait for a car accident.

I still have a deep impression of that middle school. It is a small middle school. I heard that it has a history of 50 years. The dilapidated building in the building has just been demolished recently, so the junior high school students have no place to go to class, so they have to live in the junior high school building, making everyone in the junior high school crowded to death (in fact, this is the author's middle school, I really hope If you can pass the high school entrance examination, you don’t have to stay in the junior high school building for six years).

Although the school uniform is the best-looking school uniform in the legend, it is nothing more than black and white sportswear. It looks like an Oreo sundae, but it is actually ugly.The white coat, every evening when school is over, what you see in the half-bright light is white, very imposing.I don't know if it's because of the imposing manner, but cars instinctively avoid it when passing by. I often sit there for an hour and spend the whole evening, but I can't see a car accident.

I was able to sit all evening in the misty rain, of course, because there was a small shop opposite the school. They put a set of plastic tables and chairs at the entrance of the shop, set up an umbrella, and sold hot Kanto cooking.At that time, I often sat at the table, eating Oden, and reading some fan fictions of "Resident Evil" and "The Walking Dead". I really had nothing to do, so I just read a few SM articles calmly.

Middle school students come and go, and no one strikes up a conversation with me, as if I should be sitting here in the first place.It's strange, obviously after I returned to China and lived a normal life, my complexion suddenly improved a lot, as if I suddenly looked 30 years younger.

Is such a handsome 13 sitting here so no one sees it?Just come and chat with me for a few words and find something to do...