critical value

After that, I saw Zhang Haoran and Zhang Weiran staying together more and more. They should have had no communication other than braiding their hair, but now Zhang Weiran has to follow his brother even when chasing him.

Although I was full of jealousy in my heart, I still pretended to be the same as usual on the surface.

Zhang Haoran is different from usual, maybe I didn't realize what he looks like from the very beginning.In short, he is very indifferent to me now, and he is no longer the seductive look he used to be.Sometimes I would secretly look at him, just in time for him to look up at me secretly, and then he immediately turned his eyes away in a very indifferent and disapproving manner.

At this time, my heart will be a little bit painful, and I will always think "Why is this happening?".

Knowing why, maybe there is a chance to redeem it, but perhaps, Zhang Haoran didn't understand the meaning of what he did at that time.

There are many heartaches, and what I remember is just the tip of the iceberg.

It's often him and Zhang Weiran. The brother-in-law who I thought was a hidden rival in love. I don't think there is any bloody drama or family ethics drama that is more bloody than my experience.After that, Zhang Weiran has always looked at me with a victorious attitude, looking at me very arrogantly and concubine Hua.At this time, Zhang Haoran would usually stand beside him silently, even though the wall was just a few steps in front of him, he could still pretend to be looking far away.

I don't know what is his intention of following Zhang Weiran.

From time to time, you can see the two brothers hugging each other, rubbing each other's body, making each other disheveled, or kissing each other. Sometimes passing by their door, you can hear two people humming and rolling. The sound of making a ball -- two teenagers who look exactly the same, often wear the same clothes, wear the same pigtails, and then get entangled together. If it is calcium tablets, it may be very suitable for my taste... ..

But now they are not interested in watching, and they often run away as soon as they see their intimacy too much.

After a while, a very loose-spoken young man from the hunting department told me with a hesitant look: "Mr. Zhang and Mr. Zhang from the Black History Department...they have had incest ...Mr. Shi, you..."

I couldn't wait to interrupt him: "I won't watch it, the taste is not that strong."

In fact, I also know that he wants me to run over and grab Zhang Haoran with Zhang Weiran. After all, Zhang Haoran and I were close to each other because of the close relationship between the two departments in charge. I have shamelessly played office romances, and I have played in the "Noon Love Theater" more than once or twice in front of those young people who are responsible for writing task reports. It is common for me to hug and hug. The elite killers all stand on the CP of me and Zhang Haoran.

But there is no way to rush over and tear up 13 with Zhang Weiran. After all, when I watch TV dramas, I hate the character who always rips up 13 when he has nothing to do.

I believe that for a period of time after that, Zhang Haoran was still not discouraged by me.I heard that when Zhang Haoran smiles, the probability of his eyes shining with an evil light is more than 95%, but I have only seen him smile like that at me once, and I am familiar with him always smiling gently like water...

That time, the two of us went to the two-pair group in a very ordinary way, but the other party was unexpectedly difficult. We fell into a bitter battle after a long absence, and in the end we were all red-eyed anyway.At that moment, after clearing the field, Zhang Haoran raised his head and looked at me. He probably regarded me as an enemy for a moment and wanted to clear it away, so he smiled with an evil light like that, but he recognized me the next moment. , Immediately put away the smile again, turned and left as if nothing happened.

He must still love me, if that smile was really for me, it would be over between the two of us...

At that moment, I had more confidence.

We are indeed still in a state of being disconnected, because Zhang Haoran made a performance for the last time before leaving...

Of course that's all for later.

My memory is not very fresh, but if I think about it carefully, there was a period of time before that with a faint heartache, Zhang Haoran after Zhang Weiran——I miss him.

The longing at that time was actually not complete pain, it was pain and happiness. I suspect that my M-shaking physique was cultivated during that time. After all, I threatened my subordinates to kneel at my feet before and called "My Lady Queen" perverted president.

Because I have separated from Zhang Haoran, and I am still very attached to him, although I can pretend that I have nothing to do during the day and devote myself to the busy study and life, but every night when I am free, I lie on the bed with nothing to do , will suddenly, in fact, inevitably think about Zhang Haoran's matter, thinking about the time before, what would we do?

Thinking about it, I feel that I am really lonely and pitiful now, because I was stabbed by my brother before, and now I almost have no parents, no mother, and no relatives. Although they are all alive, absolutely In the hometown I am familiar with, I forget that I am living a good life, but there is still a feeling of being lonely and about to cry—it’s okay to be unaccompanied, after all, it’s all my brother’s fault, and it’s okay to be like this It has been several years.

The important thing is that I also lost Zhang Haoran at the same time.It is necessary to delve into it.

——I really want to know what exactly I did and what Zhang Haoran was thinking so wildly that the two of us suddenly turned into this lukewarm look.

In the end, because the EQ was too low, I couldn't come up with any clues after thinking about it, which only added to the pain.

At that time, no matter how I thought about it, I couldn't think of an answer, and I almost wanted to roll around on the bed and yelled twice.

The ink stains are tangled and painful, and the time has reached midnight, which is the time I am most looking forward to in a day, because I can hear Zhang Haoran’s voice—to prevent myself from falling asleep or missing midnight for other reasons , I also specially set an alarm clock on my mobile phone, whether it is 365 days or 366 days a year, the wolves will start howling exactly at twelve o'clock in the middle of the night.

At that time, I would almost jump up from the bed in fright, and I quickly grabbed my phone and quickly pinched the alarm clock.Then, I was at a loss while holding the phone—even though I had to call Zhang Haoran in the middle of the night every day, I didn’t know why I couldn’t get used to it during that time, and I had to struggle for a while before pressing the call button. Should he broadcast it or not broadcast it to him?Although I say the phrase "Call Zhang Weiran to squeak" every day, I still struggle for a while, what should I say?I also thought of quite a few very interesting sayings, but the words are always the same "call Zhang Weiran to squeak" when it comes to my mouth.He is just saying the same fixed answer, the two of them are so lukewarm.

But at least before I was lukewarm, I was expecting to imagine all kinds of interesting sayings, trying to make him happy, although in the end I was so shy as a teenager that I didn’t say a word; I don’t know Zhang Haoran Will you be the same as me, secretly thinking of some ways to shorten the distance between each other.

Probably not.

The lovesickness at that time was actually very fun. Obviously the distance between the two people’s rooms was less than 50 meters, but somehow it seemed as if they were separated by thousands of miles. I ran a distance that could be crossed in six or seven seconds, but the two of us didn't see each other very often. During that time, I was even afraid that when the two of us would suddenly part ways.

Sure enough, it’s good to be young. Isn’t there a saying that the younger you are, the slower time you feel?I was probably the same at that time, because I was too young and immature, so even though there was no distance between me and Zhang Haoran, and there were no insurmountable obstacles, I still felt the pain of parting from life and death, neither of us had any courage to condescend Get close to each other.So it was like a year of suffering.

However, there is a trace of sweetness in the torment. After all, it is good to be young, because there are still many possibilities in the future, so no matter what difficulties and pains you encounter, there is a future that you can look forward to-this is also the time that supported me. The only motivation to be able to jump up and down again.

Until that day, when Zhang Haoran left forever...... Until that day, lovesickness turned into bitterness completely.

That period of "sweetness in bitterness" did not leave any deep and specific impression on me. Although the feeling of sweetness in bitterness is probably unforgettable, I can still recall it a little bit after so long.But if I really want to talk about what I have experienced, in fact, the daily process is similar. What can add color to this kind of repetitive boring is the random thoughts in my mind-the longing for the future, some vague determinations , or those words and scenes that have been rehearsed and imagined countless times in the mind, of course, they are all unconscionably forgotten in the end...

However, before that day, there was at least one thing worthy of my memory, which could make the corners of my mouth involuntarily evoke a warm arc when I recalled it.

At that time, I had already graduated from high school, and it was strange to think about it. It has been almost a year since Zhang Haoran and I broke up for some reason—I passed the third year of high school in a daze, and I passed the college entrance examination in a daze. , in a daze, didn’t pass the exam, and then wandered around the street with those friends who only passed the third exam, and drank wine bottles on the street stalls all night, sometimes until the middle of the night, of course Sometimes in the middle of the night, I would suddenly fight with people I didn't know. Once, the police came to shoot...

Although I have done a lot of things that should have been shot hundreds of times, but it was just a child fighting and carrying a gun. This formation also scared me...

In short, I wasted my time for a long time. At the end of August, all my friends went to Sanben University to register, and they even swore in front of me that they must study hard. Find a job as an official.I yelled hypocritically, "My lord's great kindness, and I will repay it if I become a ghost in the next life!" While shaking a small board under the train, I watched them leave one by two with big bags on their backs. No matter how hard it was to meet each other, during that time almost every night I would post a long paragraph with mixed feelings, accompanied by a few pictures of the train station, and a group photo of me and my friends.

Of course, after that period of time, the whole person will calm down, and when he calms down, he will feel empty.That seldom event really almost got me out of lice.

Fortunately, it didn't take long for the BOSS to find us something to do, and it was still a big deal.