martyrdom

This morning, when I opened my eyes, I had a terrible doubt.In this world, does Gu Yu really know this person?

Raising my hand to touch the cold empty pillow beside me, I thought, I have had someone beside me before.That person embraced me last night, ran his fingers through my hair over and over again, kissed my cheek softly with his thin lips, and accompanied me to sleep with the warmest love.

Who is that person?

I stood up and found a strand of black hair from the empty pillow.

It is more than an inch long, not soft like a girl, but a man's hair.

Splitting headache.

Get out of bed, walk out of the bedroom, and go to the bathroom.In front of the mirror is a tired face. It seems that I went to bed very late last night. I stayed up late and wrote something. I can’t remember.I just remember waking up the person next to me when I went to bed, and that person was not annoyed, but smiled at me with sleepy eyes.

Although he is not my Yu'er, but he is very good to me.

My Yu'er, where is she?

After washing up, I saw breakfast on the dining table.The porridge is served in an insulated box, and I put my favorite green vegetables in it, green and white, which saved my weak appetite.

Sit down, pick up a spoon and eat porridge one by one.The entrance is a familiar smell, and I remembered that the first breakfast Yu'er cooked for me was exactly the same vegetable porridge.

After breakfast, the phone rang.A WeChat message from an ambiguous comment "ta".

——There is a lesson for the second lecture in the morning, don't forget it.

You don't need to think about it, you know, it's my considerate pillow person.Yet for some reason, I didn't feel very sweet, like being in a passive relationship, being loved deeply, but unable to respond with the same deep love.

It was still early, so I took out the lesson plan and looked through it, and suddenly thought that Yu'er might come to this class.

Yes, I almost forgot, she is also my student, although she is a student who often misses classes.

There was a faint surge of anticipation in my heart.

Stepped into the classroom with the bell ringing, but didn't see Yu'er.

Take out the roster, there is no Yu'er's name on it.

My heart panicked for no reason.The absurd thoughts when I opened my eyes in the morning came up again, and a chill came down my spine.Barely maintaining the stability on the surface, he finished a class absent-mindedly.

Walking out of the classroom, I stopped at the door.

Students filled the corridor one after another, and the sunlight fell on young and lively faces through the windows in the corridor.It seemed that there was a girl walking towards me in a white dress, her face was not clear from the beginning to the end, but disappeared when she was about to crash into my arms.

Yu'er, is that you?

Walk out of the teaching building, bypass the artificial lake, and come to the auditorium where we came together when we first met.The huge space was so oppressive that it was difficult to breathe, the stage was empty, the lights were lonely, and phantoms shuttled on it, and suddenly fell from a height of several meters, in exchange for a burst of fear, I laughed at myself and wiped my sweat.

Walking out of the auditorium, weeping willows by the lake are withered, and the riverbed is dry and cracked, which is a scene of deep winter.Phantom changed into a shirt and trousers, bright and vivid, as if walking from early spring, with a tangy freshness, rubbing shoulders with me in an instant, without stopping.

I went to the path outside the school.Is the looming thing behind the tree still a phantom?My Yu'er is strong and brave, fragile and cowardly. The game of hiding behind the tree is a helpless persistence, but I am forced to witness her entanglement and confusion time and time again, and use all my strength to pass her by cruelly.

In the bookstore, I met a familiar girl.She has grown a lot taller, her face is colder and more refined, and her style is exactly the same as that of the person with the same name in my writing.When she saw me, she smiled lightly, but when I asked about Yu'er, she shook her head in confusion.

She clearly knew Yu'er.

She also secretly took pictures of us being intimate.

How can you tell me, don't know, don't remember?

In this world, besides me, who else remembers Yu'er?

I got home and started rummaging around.

Sui Sui disappeared... The paper that said "Wish to return to the same funeral with Qing" disappeared... The pottery piece Yu'er gave me disappeared... The secretly photographed photos disappeared...

All traces of the girl disappeared completely!

On the wall of the bedroom, there is a wedding photo.Above is me, and a man.That is my pillow person, the person who appeared in the story between me and Yu'er.It's Kang Woo.

Raising his right wrist, the bracelet that had been broken in two was tied on it.Now it is in good condition, without any signs of damage, and the length and size fit my wrist perfectly, as if it has never been taken off.

I suddenly remembered a conversation.

That is Saibei's fairy tale cottage.

——You said that this bracelet...was given to you by someone on your birthday?

- Asking knowingly.

—I want to ask... who is 'someone'?

— is the one who created me.

I turned on the computer, found the document completed last night, and clicked on it.

Inside is my new book.It is about the story of Yuan Fei and Yu Er.A sadomasochistic relationship, a sweet dream, and a bleak ending.Every word is so strange to the eyes, yet so familiar.I saw the sunset all over the sky from a lazy afternoon, until I saw the tears flow down and my heart broken.

Originally a storyteller, but became a bewildered person.

half year later.

The new book signing will still be held in the familiar bookstore.In the question and answer session, the words have already been matched. The host asked questions step by step, and I answered step by step.

"Mr. Yuan, one of the heroines in the new book is named after you. Does it imply that you yearn for such a kind of love?"

"No, I'm just, too lazy to name it."

The audience roared with laughter, and the atmosphere was just right.

"The name of the villain in the book is your husband Kang Yu's name, what is the symbolic meaning of that?"

"There is no other meaning. My husband and I have a very good relationship. I can't name it, so I use his name, that's all."

Kang Yu sat in the VIP seat and gave me a faint smile.

"Then how did Gu Yuzhi get his name?"

"An De Huang He Yu, once reported to a beautiful woman, is known. Li Bai's poem. This is also the most satisfying name I have chosen so far."

Some people are amazed, this is indeed a good name.I even thought that if I have a daughter in the future, I must name her Yuzhi.

"I heard that when you just finished this book, you once fell into it and was in a trance. Can you tell us about those days?"

"Yuan Fei in the book can't tell the difference between dream and reality, but I can't tell the difference between the book and reality. It's a coincidence that it's similar."

The host smiled awkwardly rather than politely, which was by design, of course.

Finally, she asked: "If Yu'er really existed in reality, would you develop feelings for her and become lovers?"

The answer was written in the script: "No, because in reality there is no such perfect lover as Yu'er. Compromising with love is also a part of love, just like me and my husband..."

I did not continue to follow the script.Didn't answer the question either.

The new book is selling well.

After the signing session was over, I discussed with Kang Yu where to have dinner, then I went back to school and he went back to the company.

As soon as he walked into the teaching building with the books he needed for class in hand, he was bumped head-on and staggered.The book fell to the ground, and I bent down to pick it up, but saw a piece of snow-white skirt.

I froze in place for an instant, unable to move an inch.

A plain white hand stretched out to help me pick up the book, wiped off the dust, and handed it to me.The bracelet on the thin wrist is shining brightly, it is exactly the same as the one on my wrist!

"Sorry, Yuan Fei."

She said so in a sweet voice.

The author has something to say:

See Weibo for physical book related matters

ID: A Hui